Letters at Bedtime

By: Littlemissgloom (Hannah)

Rating: K

It was the 29 October 1981 and James potter sat at the kitchen table trying to work out what to write. He was writing a letter he hoped and prayed would never be opened again, but at the back of his mind, he knew that, that was very unlikely. The letter he was writing was to his son, to some people this would seem a tad strange as his son was currently just over a year old and at that, moment curled up asleep with his mother Lily on the sofa in the next room. But to be honest he had been meaning to write it ever since he found out Lily was pregnant.

He sighed, he never would regret having Harry, but it just all happened at the wrong time, there was a war going on, people were dying left right and centre, only a couple of months ago they had the unfortunate new that Marlene McKinnon and her family had been killed by Death Eaters.

Ever since he had heard the Prophecy that night in Dumbledore's office he had had a sick feeling in the bottom of his stomach that something would go wrong, that he would make the wrong decision and it would cost him dearly.

He sighed again and rubbed a hand over his face, before he got an idea standing up he walked over to the fire place and throw a hand full of floo powder in before kneeling down and putting his head into the green flames and shouting " Flat 75A" When his head stopped spinning he called out "Sirius? Are you there?"

A tall man with long black hair whipped round and a look of concern crossed his face as he dropped to his knees in front of James.

"What's the matter, is it Lily, Harry? You're not meant to be using the floo, Dumbledore will go made if he finds out about this!" he said quickly.

"Theres nothing wrong Sirius, I just need you to help me… please?"

"Fine but get out I come over to yours"

With that, James pulled his head out of the fireplace, sat down, and waited. A couple of minutes later Sirius walked through the fireplace tiredly, he had been doing a lot for the order recently, in disguise of course so no one knew that it was actually Sirius black they were talking to.

"What is it mate?"

"I don't know what to write," he said sadly pointing at the parchment and quill.

"Who's it to mate?" Sirius asked secretly already knowing the answer.

"Harry"

"Prongs nothing with happen to you, lily and Harry, you know that don't you?" he said softly

"I don't know Padfoot I just have this feeling, like, like something's going to go wrong," he said slowly going pale.

"Don't think like that, Wormtail would never betray you or Lily and especially Harry," he said sternly

"Ok, ok but I would still like to write it just in case, then if anything does happen to me and, and Lily then you can give it to him" James said pleadingly.

Sirius nodded solemnly "Ok, well just write how you feel tell him that you love him and stuff…" he trailed off; grinning sheepishly, "I'm not very good at this sentimental stuff"

James smiled truly, for the first time in hours "For once in your live, you got something right" he said teasingly

Sirius grumbled, "I resent that" before adding seriously, "Do you want me to stay while you write it?"

He nodded and picked up the quill and started to write.

Dear Harry,

I actually do not know what to write, I guess if you are reading this then i am not with you anymore and I want you to know that I am sorry. I am sorry I will near get to see your first Quidditch match, or tease you about your first kiss or something.

Its hard I never thought that I would be writing this to you, I always assumed that I would live long enough to see you grow up, but I guess life works in cruel ways.

I want you to know that me and your mum love you more than anything and that we will be proud of you no matter what. You are going to have difficult times ahead and I want you to know that I and your mum are going to be with you every step of the way, even if you cannot see us.

I wish I had, had more time with you, but I will cherish the time we did spend together and I will never forget the feeling when I first held you.

Remember never to take anything for granted and always follow your heart.

We love you son and never forget it.

Dad.

He sighed and looked up at Sirius with a sad smile "I'm done"

He nodded and looked at his watch and grimaced slightly "I'm really sorry mate but Kelly's coming over for dinner soon so I have to go"

He said standing up.

"Its ok mate go. I need to put Harry to bed soon anyway." James said standing up also.

"Alright, I'll see you the day after Halloween, I'll check on Wormtail on Halloween though, I haven't spoken to him for awhile" he said stepping into the green flames.

"Ok see you then… and Thanks"

"Anytime, bye mate"

James started at the fireplace for a moment after Sirius had left trying to ignore the sick feeling in his stomach when a voice made him jump.

"That Sirius?" Lily's sweet voice said to him as she walked toward him cradling Harry.

"Yeah, it was he was just helping me write a letter" he said gesturing to the parchment that sat on the table.

"Oh, ok well I was going to put Harry to bed and then make us some dinner, what do you want?" she said looking around.

"I don't mind anything, here I'll take Harry," he said taking him from lily's arms and walking up the stairs.

Lily picked up the letter, opened it up carefully, and read it, tears springing to her eyes instantly. When she finished she put the letter down, sat down, and cried.

"Hey, hey come here, what's wrong don't cry" James said as he rushed through the door to lily's side.

"What's wrong?"

"That letter, it's so sweet, I just wish you wouldn't have had to write it," she said through tears.

"I know sweetie, I know," he said thickly gathering her into a hug.

"We'll be ok, wont we?" she asked, still sobbing.

"Yeh, we'll be ok," he said slowly trying to reassure her but knowing deep down that that was not true…

Hey Guy, thanks for reading and please review. i reply to all of them!

Hannah x