A Classic Sign of Attraction

Rating: K+

Disclaimer: Bones does not belong to me. The only things that do belong to me are the season one and two DVDs and an obsessive love for Seeley Booth.

Okay, I've got to stop. Here comes MORE therapy with Sweets, but Booth's alone this time. Sweets just gives so much potential for humor, don't you think? This was originally supposed to be a chapter in a story I planned on writing, but I've decided to nix that idea and post this as a oneshot instead. I may tweak their joint session I had written and post that as well, because I like it quite a bit, but we'll see.

The idea for most of this session is credited to my dear friend Dreana, also known as JavaJunkie4Evar. Love you! And Booth! Woo!


"Special Agent Seeley Booth," Dr. Sweets said, flipping open his notepad and writing his client's name at the top.

"Dr. Doogie Howser."

Sweets rolled his eyes. "Come on! Doogie wasn't a psychiatrist!"

A smirk crossed Booth's face as he shrugged. "I still think the comparison works."

Sweets opened his mouth to begin another speech on the psychological meaning of Agent Booth's constant teasing, but stopped himself at the last second. He had a plan to follow. "Could you describe yourself to me, Agent Booth?"

"Hmm... I like pina coladas. And getting caught in the rain."

"Agent Booth," the psychiatrist said, his frustration obvious. "Please take this seriously." Sweets found it hard to believe that Booth could be any more uncooperative than he was during his sessions with Dr. Brennan, but here he was being proved wrong.

"Look, Sweets, I don't see why I need to 'describe myself' to you. You've known me for months."

"That's true, Agent Booth. But I only know my interpretations of you. And Dr. Brennnan's."

Booth sat up straighter at that. "You've talked to Bones about me?"

"Remember the survey I had you both fill out at the beginning of my sessions with you?"

"What did she say about me?"

Sweets raised his eyebrows at Booth's eager tone. "You seem rather concerned about what Dr. Brennan thinks of you."

"What? Oh... no. Not really." He shrugged nonchalantly. "Just curious, that's all."

Nodding knowingly, Sweets pretended to scribble something down on his notepad. He wasn't learning anything he wasn't already aware of, but Agent Booth didn't need to know that. "Okay, let's try this again. Will you describe yourself to me, Agent Booth?"

Ignoring the question, Booth sat up in his chair slightly, trying to read Sweet's notepad. "What'cha writing there, Sweets?" Sweets tilted his paper back so Booth couldn't see.

"Just some observations..." he lied. Then he let out a sigh. "I assume I'm not going to get you to describe yourself to me?"

"Wow! What do you know, kid? You are pretty smart."

Accepting defeat, Sweets moved on to his second plan of attack. "So, you and Bones have been partners for... three years now?" He smiled when he saw Agent Booth's smirk morph into shock. "Is something wrong?"

"What did you just say?" Booth asked.

Sweets internally celebrated a rare victory over Agent Booth. He had expected this reaction. "I asked you how long you've been partners with Dr. Brennan. About three years, right?"

"But... you called her Bones."

The psychiatrist feigned innocence. "Did I? Well, I probably picked it up from you subconsciously." Booth remained silent. "Does that make you angry, Agent Booth?"


"I see. Jealous, perhaps?"

"Of course not! Why... why would I jealous?" He waved a hand dismissively at Sweets and scoffed. "That's crazy. I'm not jealous."

"Then you are..."

"You just surprised me, that's all. Nobody ever calls her Bones."

"Except you."

"Well, yeah."

Sweets nodded. "Is that because others typically recognize that you calling Dr. Brennan 'Bones' is the way you show your affection towards her?"

"No! That's not why I call her Bones! In fact, it annoys the hell out of her. That's why."

"Really? I've never seen her correct you..."

"She used to! Constantly. 'Don't call me Bones!' 'I have a name, Booth." Which, of course, only made me call her it even more. And it stuck."

"So... it was purely a way to irritate her?"

"Yes," Booth said, seemingly relieved to have the issue settled. Sweets wasn't done yet, however.

"And why did you wish to irritate her so much?"

Booth shrugged. "She irritated me. Back then, to her, I was the annoying FBI agent that she continually had to work with. At one point, she told Zach to never patch me through to her. The only way to get her to work with me was to sic Homeland Security on her." Sweets raised an eyebrow at that, but didn't comment. "So, basically, it was payback."

"You called her a name she didn't like... because you didn't like her?" Sweets attempted to confirm.

"When we first met? Pretty much."

Sweets shook his head. "I don't believe that, Agent Booth."

"You don't..."

"It sounds to me like you did like her. Quite a bit. Bothering someone purely for the sake of seeing them irritated is a classic sign of attraction."

Booth rolled his eyes. "Look, Sweets, this isn't first grade. You may not realize it, but in the adult world, you don't show a girl you like her by pulling on her pigtails!"

"No," Sweets agreed. "You apparently call her Bones."

"Look, I do not have a thing for Bones!" Booth said defensively.

"Interesting leap, Agent Booth." Sweets almost felt bad for how much he was enjoying this. It was nice to have the upper hand for once. "Usually when you deny something so quickly, it means it's true."

"You can't just accuse me of--"

"I didn't accuse you of anything, Agent Booth. I merely informed you of your obvious attraction to Dr. Brennan. You brought up 'having a thing for her' all by yourself."

"What do you mean, 'obvious attraction'? I am not attracted to her!"

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Agent Booth. It's only natural to be attracted to Dr. Brennan. She's a very beautiful woman."

Booth jumped up from his seat. "Look, kid! Bones is way too mature for you! And... and... she's your patient! God, Sweets!"

Sweets chuckled and pointed his pen at Booth. "That, Agent Booth, is what is commonly referred to as 'jealousy'."

Booth sat back down, glaring at Sweets. "You know, I think I thought of way to describe myself after all. Doesn't that sound fun?"


Thank you so much for reading! BONES TOMORROW! Anyone else practically hyperventilating from excitement? You know what helps that? Reviewing. Honestly.