Author's Note:

So this is it, darlings, the last chapter of Ace in the Hole.

I hope you enjoy it and realize that it's very much open-ended because I'm not stopping here. Mr. J won't let me, and that man is a slave driver, let me tell you!

Don't forget to check out the new one, currently title-less, I regret to say.

But drink this one in, and let it fill your tummy-boxes with happy juice! Until later…

Also as a side note- It's been bugging me that Alec's name sounded so familiar in this world, so I skimmed through my one-shots and sure enough, Alec was the name of Harley's main Orderly, the one who "failed" to pull the alarm when Mr. J got into her cell and was…less than chivalrous…

Anyway, just had to throw that in, I'm not changing it or anything, I love my new British Bastard, I haven't gotten to write Euro-slang in a long time!


-Heath's Harley-

Tonight was definitely not our night.

After ditching the cars, we'd moved a small portion of our party into a low-rent apartment building. Just until we got the all-clear from our boys, then it was off to a new compound near the docks. I heard it had been used as a meeting spot for the big men of the crime families of Gotham, but since the majority of these men were dead or missing (thanks to a certain someone) they were fair game for anyone who wanted to trek there.

"So let's hear it." The Joker stood in the middle of the apartment lobby on the fourth floor. It might have been a nice sitting place at one time, but life in this city had torn the couches and faded the wallpaper. I watched as Doug fidgeted with his shirt hem and inched forward. The guy knew his information would put a frown on the clown's face…and that was never a good thing. The Joker leaned forward, turning his head so that Doug could speak directly into his ear, like he was telling a secret, and licked his lips. I was lacing up a pair of knee-high shit-kickers and looking on with wary interest. I'd since decided that swallowing what had happened earlier this night was my healthiest option. I might bring it back up once we'd gotten out of this, but for now, my Puddin' couldn't take anymore drama.

But when we were alone…

Mr. J popped off two shots into Doug's right eye with an angry growl. He watched the idiot fall and kicked the corpse for good measure when it hit the dirty carpet with a thud. This no account Bastard had fucked us all! With a sigh, I stepped closer and touched the Joker's arm lightly; but his eyes snapped up to mine, black as oblivion and I lowered my head and let him rage.

Doug had been trusted to move Tyler's body, but gluttony was his sin, and he'd decided the off ramp that led to his favorite doughnut shop would make a much quicker job. Of course, it was the one highway that was covered in trees thanks to Green Peace and now made for a wonderful dump. As a result the Batman had been the first to spot our little surprise and came right for us. The cops would have slowed him down, but now, they didn't even know there'd been an accident.

I didn't know what to be more pissed about; the fact that we'd trusted a guy who turned out to know what he was doing, (a fact we hadn't counted on) or Batman being so close to our tails.

We were kinda fucked.

"He can't know where you're headed." Alec chimed in. "I mean, he only found the south end vans and that truck in The Narrows…" We all just watched him so he trailed off and the Joker cracked his neck, hackles raising.

"Are there anymore…surprises any of you gentlemen want to drop on me?"

No one answered as he scanned the guys with us in the apartment building. Even I kept my tail between my legs with this one. Who wouldn't? The man rarely got this kind of mad, and when he did, you shut the fuck up and agreed to whatever he told you.

No matter how degrading or painful…you listened…and you liked it.

Perhaps that was just me.

I didn't have much time to think about it because one of the guys outside screamed, which could only mean a couple things. Batman won out over my crack-head theory.

The Joker was already moving deeper into the hall with his revolver and sawed-off. I hurried to catch up with him and we sped down the hall to another room. Mr. J fired off one round from the sawed-off into the door knob, then put his boot to the door. I rested a palm on the switchblade in my pocket. Small potatoes compared to a fucking sawed-off shotgun, but hey…we all didn't get the big toys. I suddenly remembered my hunting knife and cursed.

"What?" Mr. J growled as we entered the room, heading for the back.

"I lost my knife."

He was distracted, but answered me anyway. "Where'd you leave it?"

"In the security guard." He must have like the pouting edge in my voice, because he turned to give me a tiny amused smile then went back to business. We'd stumbled into the living room before Mr. J pulled up short.

An elderly man stood up from his couch, raising a cute little 40s gangster revolver. He managed to pull off two shots before My Puddin' splattered his thoughts across the back wall. I arched a brow and took the gun as he handed it off to me. Most likely, that had been the last shot; it was dead and therefore no use to him.

So he gave it to me. Jerk.

Dropping the sawed-off with a frown, I pried the revolver from the old dude's hands. He really didn't need it, what with his eyes in the back of his head now. It was a big mess, so I wiped the gun on a clean patch of his shirt, and went back to Mr. J.

He was breaking out the rusted window, shaking the glass loose where he could. I didn't really like the sour expression he was making, so I attempted to throw it off with misplaced conversation.

"So…I was thinking maybe I could get a pinstripe suit." He looked over at me blankly, then went back to the window, leaning out over it. "I'm just saying, I'm kinda like a Moll now, so…"

There was a crash down the hall and a few more screams, then the gun shots started. Mr. J glanced at me, then grabbed my arm and yanked me toward the window.

"What? Are we gunna jump down 4 stories?" I clung to the windowpane and looked out at the alley far below. Mr. J chuckled and grabbed the back of my shirt.

"If that's what you want." And he shoved me over the ledge.

For a long time, I thought the pain was my body introducing itself to the pavement, or maybe I'd shot myself when my gun went off; but when the lights cleared behind my eyes, I saw that I had bounced off of the railing of a fire escape the story below us. He'd known it was there, but the Olympic race my heart was running was enough to make me glare at the clown as he hopped down anyway. He wasn't graceful by any means, it was almost comical the way he landed, but I managed to hold back my laugh.

"What if I hadn't hit that rail?" I hissed, holding my now blackened side as we raced down the fire escape stairs to the street.

"Guess I would have gotten a new girl."

I felt like I'd been run over by a Mac Truck.

That bastard. The world seemed to stop as I pulled up short and stared at him, wide eyed. It took Mr. J a moment to realize I'd stopped, but when he did, he frowned.

"What's wrong now?" It wasn't playful, but irritated and somewhere in the back of my head I knew it was high time to back off, but he'd been far too serious just now.

"Just get another girl?" I asked, fingers curling tightly around the stolen revolver. He glanced down the street we just left then moved closer to me.

"Is there a prob-lem?" He growled and I palmed my weapon, going into a shooting stance. Fury bubbled in my gut as I watched him. He really meant it? After the shit he'd just pulled me through, he didn't care at all? After fucking that stupid little cheerleader and nearly breaking my heart?!

The Joker's eyes lowered to the weapon and he paused, glancing back up at me with a dark sort of expectation.

Yeah…I had a fucking problem.

"You shot at me. "I leveled my gun on the Joker and narrowed my eyes. "I forgot about it. You stabbed me…I let it go. You Blew. Me. Up." I giggled hysterically behind my lips and he held up his hands, "that one was a bit hard to forgive, but I did."

"Now, Harley," He tilted his head playfully, looking me up and down, "what exact-ly are you going to do?" he smiled cheerfully. "You wouldn't shoot me."

I squeezed off two rounds into the wall and floor by his feet. He didn't flinch, but looked incredibly surprised.

"Now, you want to throw me away?" I asked, voice rising in my emotional eruption. I tilted my head, blonde clumps of hair falling over my face. "You'll just 'get another girl?!'"

The Joker's smile became something very dark and frightening and I had to fight not to step back and escape its intensity. He lowered his head, like a dog raising its hackles.

"You don't have the guts." He hissed, teeth gleaming in the dim alley light. My grip on the gun tightened. I only prayed that he couldn't see the fine tremor that went through me as I glared at him. But he was right, before now, I was pathetic. I would let him take this gun and kill me simply because I couldn't stand up to him. Well no more.

"I love ya, Mistah J." my voice broke and I squeezed the trigger.


We were both stunned for a long moment, as we realized the clip was empty. I'd used all my ammo. When I looked back up to him, the expression he wore made me feel like curling into myself.

Pure, unadulterated rage washed over him and he snapped out an arm, grabbing the barrel of my gun and yanking it from my grasp. On the arc back around, he slammed the butt of the gun into my mouth and I spun into the brick wall beside me before sliding to the ground.

"Now Puddin'…" I held up both hands but he grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked me back up by it. "I'm s-sorry!"

Mr. J raised the gun to smack me with it again, but paused mid-swing and looked at it. The rage suddenly melted as if it had never been there, and he grinned.

"M..Mr. J?"

Without warning, he yanked me against his chest and kissed me so fiercely my lips bruised. I vaguely heard sirens in the distance, but couldn't care less. The Joker pulled back and titled his head.

"You're the best, baby." He grinned and I melted against him, smiling dreamily.

"Oh Mr. J…"


I heard the police down the street, they would find us, but I couldn't move. Couldn't stop looking at him in this perfect moment. He scanned my face, as if memorizing it and released my hair to snake his arm around my lower back. He pulled me closer and I hissed in a breath when his groin found mine through our clothes.

"See you soon, Sweets." He murmured against my lips, and I went weak in the knees. His eyes snapped up when the first cop stomped into the alley, gun raised.

"Release the hostage!" The officer yelled, but my angel just laughed and pulled the handgun from the holster in my boot, squeezing off 4 rounds before the others rushed in as well and opened fire.

By now, I understood what was happening. Understood my part.

See you soon.

With a crazed laugh, I took the gun from him and spun around opening fire on the cops, letting out a war cry that had them cringing even as they shot at me. The Joker's laughter echoed down to me from the roof tops and I took strength from it. He trusted me to save him this time. But most importantly:


What more could a girl ask for?

Batman arrived on the scene not long after I'd killed two cops and was using a third for a human shield. He gave me a fair beating (angry that I'd helped my baby no doubt) and cuffed me. The police had a security van waiting and I let them walk me up the thin ramp and shackle me into the side bench restraints as another armed guard sat across from me. Batman had growled that I would go away for good this time, no chance of bail. I was Arkham bound, but I barely heard him.

Let him go after my sweet angel. Even if he could catch him, what then? Mr. J would get out, and what's better, he'd come for me! My man loved me, and now I had proof. All it had taken was for him to see my resolve and now he knew for sure, his Harley was right for him.

I couldn't stop my dreamy smiles even as they drove me off to Arkham Asylum. (No common prison for me. I was a threat now)

He loved me.

Everything else meant nothing.


Don't forget to check out the sequel! *cough, cough* (Part of the Plan)