How She Did It
"Thanks." "Thanks for what?" "Exactly."
"Thanks for what?"
That was how she left him. A quick kiss on the cheek and she took off running. To an alien no less. An alien man; with a time machine, and space ship. In retrospect he can she how she couldn't turn it down, but it was still a hell of a lot harder to explain than her running off with a bloke off the estate. Much harder to believe when you tell yourself 'she'll be back' as well.
"He's not my boyfriend, Mickey, he's better than that. He's much more important…"
That was how she told him that this new man in her life was far more important to her than he'd ever be. That all the times they'd shared and the feelings they had for each other amounted to nothing. It was about more than just time machines and space travel and fun. Some indescribable thing that he'd never be able to give her.
"I swear it's just a few days since I left you. " "Not enough time to miss me, then?" "I did miss you."
"Not enough time to miss me, then?"
"I did miss you."
That was how she fooled him. Made him think she might not leave again. That she was back for good and realized what a mistake it had been to leave without him. He could have screamed for joy and wanted to kiss her right there like nothing had changed between them. To go back to the way they were.
"Come with us. There's plenty of room." "No chance, he's ah, a liability, I'm not having him on board. " "We'd be dead without him." "My decision is final." "Sorry."
"No chance, he's ah, a liability, I'm not having him on board. "
"We'd be dead without him."
"My decision is final."
That was how she made it clear that she'd always follow the Doctor, even if it was against him. The Doctor was number one in her world and she'd be leaving again without him. As long as the Doctor was there, his word would never matter.
"I didn't really need my passport."
That was how she made him think there was hope. That they had a chance. She had come back for him. Fueling up was just some petty excuse to phone him up. They held hands and walked like they used to, catching up on old times. He started to believe it was possible to go back to the way they were.
"Is that thunder? " "Does it matter?" "That's not thunder. " "Oh, go on then - run! It's him again, isn't it? It's the Doctor! It's always the Doctor! It's always gonna be the Doctor and it's never me!"
"Does it matter?"
"That's not thunder. "
"Oh, go on then - run! It's him again, isn't it? It's the Doctor! It's always the Doctor! It's always gonna be the Doctor and it's never me!"
That was how she left again, without looking back. She'd made her choice and when she came wandering back later, he made his. He couldn't keep putting himself out there for her when she was always looking the other way. He loved her with his whole heart and she had placed hers elsewhere.
"If you go back, you're gonna die. " "That's a risk I've gotta take. 'Cause there's nothing left for me here." "Nothing?" "No."
"That's a risk I've gotta take. 'Cause there's nothing left for me here."
That was how she told him they were done for good. That there was no hope. No chance. She'd give her life for another man before she'd live a life with him. So he helped her do it.
"You're never gonna stay, are you? " "There's just so much out there. So much to see... I've got to."
"There's just so much out there. So much to see... I've got to."
That was how she made it clear that even as friends, she'd never be coming home. London; England; Earth. She didn't count those as home any more. All she needed — all she wanted — was a blue box to call home, and one man to call family. She would spend the rest of her life in the stars, while he'd spend the rest of his looking up at them and wondering where she'd gone.
"All those years just sitting there... imagining what we'd do one day... we never saw this, did we?"
That was how she made him realize that love was still there. That she still remembered all they'd been through, and it still mattered to her. She was always gone but never forgotten, and neither was he. He wanted to tell her he still loved her; that he missed her every day and would miss her even more still once they'd gone, but he couldn't. Instead he told her it was okay to leave. Said the words she wanted and needed to hear so that she could leave with a clear conscience. He couldn't even be bitter about it. She went off to save their world, and he'd save this one. It was one planet versus the whole universe, but that wasn't bad for a mechanic from the East End.
"I've had a life with you for nineteen years. But then I met the Doctor and... all the things I've seen him do for me. For you. For all of us. For the whole... stupid planet and every planet out there. He does it alone, Mum… But not anymore… 'Cos now he's got me."
That was how she made him understand. For the first time he could see true love without the jealously to blind him. That was how he saw her happiness and in it, found happiness for himself, and the ability to let her go.
And when she came back across and found herself trapped? Well that was how she broke his heart.
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