AN: A short, bittersweet Dasey oneshot.

Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek or any of the characters.

About To Break

The memory is like a ghost. Haunting him until he wants to just reach out and grab it, shaking it so that it would disappear.

It kills him to see her with her new boyfriend in the halls. He doesn't say that out loud though. He has a reputation to protect. He doesn't want to think about her anymore. About what they used to have. So he looses himself in other girls. Kendra, Sally, Emily once. Anything not to think about her.

Lips against lips, skin against skin, whispered words of love. Kisses in the silence of the night. Some tinged with hatred, some laced with affection. They were never predictable. They were never the same.

She never loved him. He had always knew that. Going in, he had thought it was just a one time thing because of their unresolved tension. He knows better now. Never have a fling with your step-sister. Because you'll fall in love.

He tells himself to be angry with her, because she never even gave him a chance. He tells himself not to love her. But he finds it's incredibly easy to fall in love and impossible to fall out of it.

He wants to go back to what they used to be. Before this all started. He wants to dip her cell in mayonaise and call her 'Klutzilla', but he can never do that anymore. Because when he does, for a split second, she wears a look of hurt and he can't stand to hurt her.

So he doesn't do anything. He changes for her, somewhere deep inside thinking that she would give him another chance.

She get's angry now when he chooses whatever girl he's seeing over her. But he tells himself she asked for it. Because if she had given him a chance. A real chance, not the empty fling they had before, then he would choose her. Everytime, he would choose her.

Because she's more then any girl he's ever been with. She's more then the meaningless flings he has.

She's everything'


''What are you doing?''

He sighs and turns to face her, standing on the stairs, in her robe.

''I'm going out. Do you mind?''

She smirks, a trait he wishes he had never taught her. ''Actually.'' She toys with the tie on her robe. ''I was hoping we could do something...else.'' The robe slids off her shoulders and he feels a magnetic pull towards her.

''Casey, I'm not doing this with you anymore.''

''Whatever do you mean, Der? We aren't doing anything.'' She moves down the stairs, gracefully, her movements like a cat ready to pounce. leans against the wall, grabbing his shirt and pulling his lips down to hers.

But he had more self control then she thinks and he puts his hands on the wall, trapping her beneath him and moving his lips away from hers. ''So now you want me?''

The smirk fades from her face. ''Derek - ''

''You want me now? But not when I told you I loved you?''

''Casey! Casey, wait!'' He grabbs her arm, spinning her around.

''I can't believe you said that!'' She hissed.

''I'm not taking it back, Case, I - ''

''Don't say it.''

''Love you. I love you, Casey. I'm in love with you.''

''Derek, you can't love me. That's not how this works.''

''Casey, I love you.'' His face hardens and he crosses his arms. ''And you love me too.''

''I can't love you, Derek!'' She screams, angrily. ''I won't.'' She pauses and takes a deep breath. ''This,'' she gestures between them, ''whatever this is, it's over. It never happened.'' She leans closer to him. ''It. Never. Happened.''

''Derek, you didn't mean that.''

He smirks and feels something bubbling deep inside him. No. This time he wanted to take control. He leans down and captures her lips in his. ''I did. And I still do.'' He pulls away. ''Casey, it's always been you.''

Her eyes dart around the room, fearfully. ''Derek, you can't love me.''

''Well, I do. And you're just going to have to get over it.'' He stands up straight and heads for the door.

''I love you, Casey, and I will be in love with you until the day I die. But we can never be together.'' He pauses. ''At least not until you admit you love me.'' And then he walks out the door, and for the first time, he leaves her behind.

the end

Stay turned for the sequel, coming soon!