Disclaimer - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction, only sheer unbridled joy that I am allowed free writing. Bless you, First Amendment, haha. And don't try any of these stunts at home, you could get really messed up.
Note - This story takes place shortly after TDI. To all those avoiding spoilers, the winner of the Canadian version of TDI will not be announced. However, you might be able to guess if you read, but that's the price you pay. If it sounds stupid to you that the characters won't mention who won TDI, think of it as an alternate reality fusion where we have no clue who truly won.
Romantic Note - Yes, this story will carry on Trent & Gwen, Bridgette & Geoff, Duncan & Courtney, Tyler & Lindsay, Harold & Leshawna, and Owen & Izzy. Just who are the others supposed to make out with? You might be surprised, as well as who's still crushing on who. You might not.
Author's Quite Unnecessary Note That You More Than Likely Are Skipping Over - This story will contain parodies of songs for cheap entertainment. If you want to know why, it's because "Weird Al" Yankovic controls my iTunes.
Rating Warning - Contains some bad language but nothing too serious, semi-mild sexual references that can be really hot if you're into that kind of stuff, and violence. Loads and loads of violence, because these campers run the risk of getting really messed up.
Chapter 01 (Day 01, Part 1) - Season 1.5: The Maclean Menace.
Six months had passed since the end of Total Drama Island. The ratings had soared, and the world couldn't get enough of the twenty-two campers who had risked their lives, as well as a fair share of dignity, stomach fluids, and, in some cases, respect.
Total Drama Action was set to take Canada and North America by storm; however, the waiting was too much for fans. Even with the promise of old faces along with the new, they clamored for more of the original.
Pretty soon, the studio caved in to the demand of first generation. Twisting some strings, they managed to rent the island they had used for the first season (Wawanakwa had become a tourist site with very little return business, due to the attacks from bears, sharks, and, oddly enough, ninjas).
Now the fun begins again, and the fans couldn't be more excited. What they, and probably no one could have guessed, was how this midseason (Season 1.5 as fans call it) would put the Drama in Total Drama.
Things haven't been going well for all of the contestants. National-wide broadcasted failure causes embarrassment, as one can imagine, but it went deeper for some. With that being said, it's time to inflict new wounds, reopen old ones, heal both, and hopefully survive and live happily until Season 2...
Chris Maclean stood on the Dock of Shame as per usual on Total Drama Island. He pulled down on his blue jacket, then performed his trademark grin for the one he loved most: the camera.
"Welcome back to Total Drama Island," he shouted, the grin as loud as his voice. "Now we actually have two nicknames for this pre-TDA season. One is Total Drama Island v 1.5; that one is for you nerds, and you know who you are. The second nickname is Total Drama Comeback!
"In TDC, we will be seeing all twenty-two of the campers come back to Camp Wawanakwa. And of course, they will be competing once more. But we've thrown a little loop in for them.
"This time around, we will have not one, but two lucky winners on TDC! That's right, two of your favorite first generation campers are going to go home with the prize, so you have twice the chance your favorite will end up the supreme winner.
"The prize this time around is also a twofer. Both contestants will win 10,000 and a spot on Total Drama Action! They can be contestants, co-hosts, or even tend to the new contestants and torment them like they've been tormented!"
With a sadistic chuckle, Chris cracked his knuckles. "So while it's not actually 100,000, we still think it's worth it. After all, this is much more fan service than a real season, but hey! You're getting what you want, who cares what those finicky campers want?
"Now, we realize that not everyone has seen all of Total Drama Island yet. Even though I would love to spoil it and laugh in your horrified face, I don't have a camera on you like you on me. So, for the sake of keeping it spoiler-free, we're not going to say who won Total Drama Island, and the campers have signed contracts not to say who won either.
"Now for Total Drama Comeback to begin, and we'll see who makes a comeback! Bring back the campers!"
The first boat arrived, delivering a very angry face.
"Eva," Chris shouted, throwing his hands up as if to celebrate, "you are the first to arrive-"
The muscular girl grabbed Chris's collar and pulled his face to her's. "Spare me," she snarled, then walked down the Dock of Shame to be as far away from him as possible. She dropped her bag, which clanged on the wooden planks, broke them, and fell into the water.
"Um, right," Chris said, unnerved by the harsh treatment and the early destruction of the dock. "Well, no matter. Our next contestant is-"
He was once again grabbed at the collar by a ticked-off goth girl. "Chris Maclean, I swear by everything good and holy," Gwen hissed at him, "if you try to make me as miserable this time around, you will pay. You will feel my wrath! You will taste death and hope you receive more-"
"Okay, I get it, you'll bring the hurt," Chris shouted. Satisfied, Gwen walked over next to Eva, who had raised an eyebrow in approval.
"Sheesh, I hope this doesn't get to be a pattern," Chris complained.
He was then viciously attacked, as a large pair of arms wrapped around him, lifted him up and someone screamed right in his ear.
"Chris Maclean," Owen screamed, his smile just as large as ever, "I missed you! Did you miss me?"
"Oh, I was counting the days to see you again, Owen," Chris replied, his sarcasm missed by the lovable oaf.
After dropping the host, Owen went to hug Gwen, who politely returned it. He tried to hug Eva, but an evil glare made him scream and jump in the water.
Duncan jumped off his boat as it cruised by. He eyed the campers already there, then cracked his knuckles. "So, it looks like it's round two. Who wants to drop out now?"
"Fat chance, Duncan," Gwen replied, though she smirked in her reply. The young criminal cocked his pierced eyebrow in reply.
"Duncan, you sure know how to make a mean entrance," Chris said, patting the guy's shoulder. "I'm sure Courtney will be pleased to see you again, huh Mr. Tough?"
The delinquent looked annoyed by this remark, but Gwen saw his eyes sparkle a little.
"Oh, Rick," came the sweet voice of a certain young beauty. Lindsay walked on the Dock of Shame, rolling her suitcase behind her. "Did you miss me?"
"More than anyone else, beautiful," Chris said, pointing at her with a wink, "but it's Chris."
"Aww, did I get your name wrong again?" Lindsay looked almost devastated by this, then cheered up instantly. "Well, it won't happen again."
Gwen and Duncan didn't bother trying to hide their laughter.
The next boat dropped off Leshawna, who completely ignored Chris. The miffed host watched as the large lady went directly to hug Gwen, then high-fived Duncan.
"Hey, my homies, how's it been going?" she asked, eager to hear.
"Causing trouble," said Duncan.
"Avoiding trouble," said Gwen.
"Same as always then, huh?" Leshawna laughed, then grabbed Gwen's shoulders. "So tell me sweetheart, how are things with and your music man, huh?"
As Gwen stammered to reply, she was cut off by someone behind her. "Why don't I show you, Leshawna?"
The goth girl was spun around by firm but loving hands, and Trent's lips met hers. She swooned a little, then giggled when they parted. "Trent, we're on TV!"
"Didn't stop you the first time," he replied, grinning.
"This is too cute, ain't it?" Chris said to the camera, wiggling his eyebrows. "But I'll bet Cody won't like it so much."
"Won't like what?"
Cody, wearing a large backpack and carrying a laptop, was staring at Chris with a confused look. When the host simply pointed at Trent and Gwen, Cody shrugged and went over to his old teammates.
"How is it going for you, Cody?" Gwen asked, trying to sound as neutral as possible.
"Fine, Gwen, quite fine," he replied, grinning that sly (or at least he thought it looked sly) grin at her. "I see you and Trent are still getting along ju-uuuuuust fine."
Trent chuckled, putting his arm around Gwen. "And I hear you, Codster, have become quite the charmer since TDI was over!"
Cody looked very confused by this remark. "Um, what are you referring to?"
"Dude, don't play dumb," Duncan said, as he gave Cody a firm, manly slap on the back. "If anyone has become more admired by the ladies by TDI than me, it's you!"
The young man's perplexed look did not go away. Trent seemed startled by this. "Um, dude, you aren't aware?"
"Aware of you?"
"You playin' modest, playa' boy?" Leshawna asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"What are you all talking about?" Cody finally exclaimed. "I didn't exactly make headlines during the six months after the show, and I don't have a girlfriend."
As Cody tried to solve this mystery with his teammates, Katie and Sadie had arrived. They squealed when they saw the old campground, squealed when they saw Chris Maclean, and then squealed loudest when they saw Cody. Pouncing him like raging fangirls, Cody was almost squashed by Sadie.
"There's the handsome celebrity," the larger of the BFFFs shouted, pinching Cody's cheek.
"We should get a lock of his hair," Katie suggested, clasping hands with Sadie. "Wouldn't the girls back home be jealous?"
"Guys," Cody shouted, sitting up and throwing off the girls on his back in the process, "I don't know what you are talking about! Is this a joke?"
"No way, man," said Owen, who had come back on the dock soaking wet, and helped Cody back on his feet. He then handed Eva a soaking-wet bag. "Found it when I sank to the bottom, thought it was yours because of the weights sticking out of it."
As Eva grumbled a thanks, Cody waved his arms above his head. Then a orange 'n green leapt through the gap between his arms and landed in Owen's.
"Touchdown," Izzy shouted, wrapping her arms around Owen's neck. "The Izzys' win!"
"Say, Izzy," Chris said as he approached her, "are the RCMP still after you? We'd like to avoid legal matters if they are going to try to pick you up."
"They can try," Izzy said, her crazy grin spreading wide across her face, "oh-ho, they can try."
As she wrung her hands with a sinister cackle, Owen began kissing her cheek. Gwen was highly suspicious that Izzy's insane laughter and attitude was what turned Owen on to her, and this merely proved it.
DJ arrived next, and he had Bunny in one hand. Chris greeted him, and patted Bunny.
"I thought it would be okay to bring him," DJ asked, sounding hopeful.
"Dude, you're the one who took him from the island in the first place," Chris said with a laugh. "I had to fill out a ton of paperwork for just that lil' rabbit's transportation off the island."
"DJ," Duncan called out to his large friend, and they high-fived. "I hear you're seeing someone back in your home town, is that true, big guy?"
"Of course, you nut," DJ laughed, playfully slugging Duncan's shoulder, "but still, I'm nowhere near the romantic as that guy over there!" He pointed at Cody, who let out a cry of frustration.
A ravenhaired beauty stepped off her boat, her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed at the other contestants.
"Ah, it's the grand mistress of strategy herself," Chris said, pointing at her. "Heather, how is it going?"
"None of your \censored\ business," she replied, waving him off as she passed by him. Chris didn't seem phased by this harsh reply, and simply grinned more.
"Chef owes me 5 now," he said to the camera, "I bet she would be the first contestant to curse at me."
The ravenhair approached the other contestants, who had gathered around poor Cody. "Well well, if it isn't my old teammates surrounding around the one who has become more popular than them."
Gwen and Trent glared at her. Lindsay nervously tapped on her painted lips. Leshawna crossed her arms, but actually grinned at her most hated of all old teammates.
"Better to be a semi-famous sister than the most hated TV character over Scrappy Doo," she replied, snapping her fingers at Heather.
As the queen bee snarled at Leshawna, Owen tapped his fingers together nervously. "But I liked Scrappy Doo," he whimpered. "He was scrappy and cool."
Duncan suddenly twitched and looked over to the next boat. "If the hairs on the back of my neck are right," he shouted, grinning like a madman, "then the most demanding of all princesses is..."
"Courtney," Chris shouted, clapping his hands for the brunette as she gracefully stepped off her boat, "back to win this time, huh?"
"You'd better believe it, Mr. Maclean," she said, her voice steady but strong.
"I'd've thought you would be the hardest to convince to come back, to be honest," the host said, "but you were actually heading one of the petitions for this between-season season."
"It's to right a wrong from before," Courtney replied, scanning the crowd of contestants. Ignoring a smirking, waving Duncan, she looked around at Chris. "When Harold arrives, am I allowed to kill him?" "No, and don't worry, all votes this time will be by recorded confessions, so there will be no vote swapping."
"Fine. I still cannot believe you didn't correct that mistake when it was in clear violation of-"
A pair of coarse hands grabbed her shoulders, and she was soon face to face with the smuggest face she'd ever faced. "Aren't you forgetting me?"
"How could I?" she said, a mix of annoyance and tease.
Cutting off the awkward flirting of the ying-yang couple was a loud holler from the next boat. "Dudes," was the loud cry of a familiar party animal, "I'm back!"
Many of the other contestants cheered loudly as Geoff leapt from his boat. He high-fived Chris, DJ, and Gwen, then rounded on Courtney and Duncan. "I see you two are still all over each other. Excellent, most excellent."
"What? No, ewww," Courtney shouted, pushing away from Duncan. She dusted herself off as if to remove Duncan-germs, as the delinquent chuckled. "On TV? Yuck! Geoff, don't encourage him!"
"So dudes, how's it going?" the wild guy asked the others. His eyes fell on Cody. "Whoa, it's the party animal himself!" He slung an arm around the very confused geek. "You must cause quite the commotion at parties, dude. Maybe if you and I are on the same team this time, we can rock the whole island."
"I haven't been to a party since grade school," Cody said feebly. "What is going on?"
"Hey, Geoff, where's Bridgette?" DJ asked his friend.
The cowboy looked as if someone struck him across the face. "Bridge?" he asked, slumping his shoulders and looking away. "Well see... the thing is... she... and me... umm..."
As he stammered, his friends began to look as upset as he was. DJ, Gwen, and Duncan understood the bad news before it was said.
Or at least, they thought they did, because he was just setting up a great entrance.
A loud blast of keyboard music startled everyone, and heads swung over in a collective motion towards the next of the boats heading for the dock. Harold, at the front, was rocking the keyboard, eyes closed like a professional. Towing behind the boat on a ski rope, riding her red 'n yellow surfboard and wearing her gray wetsuit, was Bridgette.
"That's my girl," Geoff shouted happily at the top of his lungs, startling everyone again.
Bridgette then leapt into the air, and landed gracefully on the Dock of Shame. With her surfboard propped under her right arm, she flashed a grin at Geoff. She then helped Harold down from the boat as the lanky teenager was a bit hampered by his luggage and keyboard.
"Harold, Bridgette," Chris said to both of the contestants, as he laughed and exclaimed, "that was the best entrance I've ever seen anyone make!"
"Thanks, Chris," Bridgette said, her lazy, green eyes sparkling with excitement. Harold merely nodded, and his attention was diverted by a certain tan-skinned girl approaching him, rolling up her sleeves. "Let me at him," she hollered. Geoff and Duncan managed to grab her from behind, and she was swinging at the thin air between her and Harold's keyboard, which he held in front of him as a shield.
"Gosh," was all Harold said, exchanging looks with Bridgette, "I didn't think she'd still be mad."
"I told you," Bridgette said, flipping her wet ponytail behind her. "Courtney said in every interview she was in that she still had revenge."
"Wow, and I thought my sister held a grudge the longest."
After Courtney calmed down enough to be let go, Geoff sprinted over to Bridgette, leaned the beautiful surfer chick back, and kissed her passionately. The crowd of contestants ooo'ed in appreciation, even Chris.
"Nice one, man," the host remarked.
"Thanks, dude," Geoff replied.
Leshawna, who felt the need to not be topped, grabbed Harold, lifted him off his feet (while he was still holding his luggage), and kissed him too. The crowd of contestants went wild, except for Courtney who fumed.
"Why are you dating him?" she snapped at Leshawna as if she had made a mistake. "He's a cheating scoundrel!"
"Oh, you're just bitter," Leshawna retorted after she set her man down. Harold let out a very happy sigh.
Courtney grabbed her head in frustration. "I have every right to be bitter! Why is he allowed back on this island? He broke the rules of the last contest!"
"Technically, there were no rules for switching the votes," Chris said, shaking a finger at Courtney. "If there had been, we would have done something about it. But we never made rules."
"That's so unfair and incredulous," Courtney ranted.
Heather patted the fuming C.I.T.'s shoulder. "Hon, it's best to let it go. Arguing with Chris over rules and what's fair is like bashing your head against a brick wall. Take it from someone who learned that hardest."
Courtney looked at Heather as if she was trying to solve a difficult mystery. She wondered what the ravenhair was up to, because she knew there was an angle to everything Heather did; there was no way she was just trying to be nice.
Everyone's attention was diverted when romantic music filled their ears. Standing on the bow of the next ship was the most attractive hunk that walked Canada. The model of gorgeous manliness known as Justin smiled at his teammates, and all the women, even those with boyfriends, swooned. Katie and Sadie both fainted, Eva sighed and leaned against a nervous DJ, and Owen swooned so much that he dropped his swooning girlfriend.
"Justin, just in," Chris said as he high-fived the male model. "You know, buddy, when I get tired of these shows (which I doubt I will, sorry), I agree with Star Stalker: you should try hosting the show!"
"Thanks, Chris," Justin replied in a rare speaking moment, "but I don't think I have the voice charisma like you do."
"You're too much," the host replied with a mocking wave of his hand.
"It's so good to see you, Justin," Owen replied, trying to stop himself from staring but failing miserably.
"Owen, good to see you too," Justin high-fived the big guy, which gave the very large blond a fit of giggles.
The handsome man scanned his former teammates until they rested on Cody. "Ah, my fiercest competitor," he said, patting Cody on the back in a friendly gesture. "Just to let you know, man, I'm a bit of a fan myself."
"Okay, that's it," Cody whimpered. He was now shaking and wringing his hands in fear. "Punk me now, pull the punch line, I can't take it! Just get it over with!!"
"What are you so hyped up about?" Gwen asked him.
"This whole routine," Cody shouted, waving his hands in front of the goth girl of his dreams, "this gag you're all pulling on me! I know I like to think of myself as a ladies' man, but there's no way I became one by all standards without knowing."
"You mean you don't know?"
Cody looked nervously at the next contestant, which was Noah. The know-it-all was looking at the geek with that "Dear-God-are-you-that-ignorant?" look that he had perfected.
"You've become quite the celebrity online," Noah continued. "How could you not know that you have a larger fangirl gathering than Duncan, Trent, and Justin combined?"
"Wha who and whazzah?" was Cody's reply.
"Cody, c'mon," Trent grabbed Cody by the shoulders and shook him gently. "Haven't you seen Deviant Art?" Cody shook his head. "Fanfiction Net?" Another shake of the head. "Surely you've browsed YouTube!"
"I... try to avoid YouTube about our season," Cody replied, and when Trent opened his mouth, he added, "and no, I don't really have a reason."
Noah shrugged. "Suit yourself, man. You avoid your own limelight and all the screaming girls, that's fine."
Lindsay, who had been staring blankly at all the conversations that had been going on, finally spoke up. "Well, Corey here may be a handsome, brave man," she said as she patted Cody's shoulders, "but you know, he's still not quite as cool as Taylor."
"Tyler," Gwen corrected the blond girl, rolling her eyes. "Might want to get that down before you greet him."
"Speaking of which," Chris said, raising his voice, "here... he... comes..."
The host's voice died as he saw the jock step off his boat. Tyler was no longer wearing the red sports jersey that he had worn like a second skin during Total Drama Island. Instead, he was wearing a cheap Hawaiian shirt, and a plain pair of jeans. Though he was wearing his red headband, some of the contestants had to look twice to make sure it was really him.
"T... Tyler?" Lindsay stammered, her baby blue eyes widening. Her mouth dropped, and her little brain was working overtime, trying to conclude if this really was him.
"Lindsay," he said, his voice far calmer than the wild sports fan they all knew. He approached her, putting his hands on her shoulders. "How have you been? You look incredible!"
"Um... thanks," Lindsay was used to hearing that. It would have meant more coming from Tyler, but she couldn't come to a solid conclusion on whether this was him or not.
"I'm sorry I lost contact with you. Family issues, you know how that can be," Tyler said with a weak chuckle, shrugging his shoulders.
Chris was tapping Tyler's shoulder, and he didn't stop until Tyler let go of Lindsay, who backed away a little nervous.
"Dude," the host repeated, "where is your jersey?"
"What?" Tyler reacted as if Chris had asked him a bizarre question. "Dude, I just didn't want to wear that again. What, you think I wear the same thing for every day of my life, that'd I wear it for the entire show?"
"I did that," Owen said with a large grin. "I'm wearing that shirt now, for good luck!"
"That explains the smell," Duncan said with a groan.
"Seriously dude, what happened?" Chris asked Tyler, getting close to his face. The jock frowned, and shoved the host away from him.
"Nothing happened to me," he shouted, fury in his eyes. "Can we start the damn competition now?"
"Not everyone is here yet," said Harold, timid.
"Me, for one!"
A green 'n purple-clad blur went around, hugging people in rejoice. The blur stopped when it came near Heather.
"Oh hello," lisped the young girl. "I see your hair ith back. That's a shame, I liked the roadkill."
"Beth," Heather replied, not looking at the shorter girl, "still a lisping dweeb like you were 'thix' months ago."
"Yeah, you act tho thmug, but there's no way you're winning this time," Beth snapped at Heather. "Everyone knows the real you."
"Whoa, when you did you get to be this harsh?" Cody asked aloud.
When Cody spoke, Beth whirled around with an overjoyed smile on her face. She launched herself at him, hugging him so tight around the waist that she nearly cut off his air supply.
"Cody! It's tho incredible to see you again! I mean, now that you're a celebrity," she cried out, snuggling her cheek against his chest. "The girls at my school were tho jealous that I got to kiss you!"
"Wait, you kissed Beth?" Gwen asked Cody, a sly grin spreading across her face. "When did this happen?"
Cody would have replied, but Beth's hug was too tight. When she did let go, he merely wheezed for air. He didn't mind Beth hugging him, just that he wished she hadn't almost killed him in the process.
"Well then, there's only one camper remaining, and I think," Chris said as she gestured to the final boat to approach the Dock of Shame, "that there he comes now!"
The boat stopped in front of the dock, but no contestant departed from it. The twenty-one campers, Chris, and Bunny all stared at the boat in anticipation, but still no one was leaving it. Finally, they heard some voices from inside the cabin.
"My job is to make sure you exit on this island, kid!"
"I'm not going, you take me back!"
Ezekiel was sent sprawling backwards from a harsh shove that knocked him out of the cabin, over the railing, and onto the Dock of Shame with a painful crash. He sat up long enough to be hit on the head with a golden necklace.
"And don't forget your cheap bling, you twerp," the boat driver shouted before speeding off.
Ezekiel stood up all the way now, and waved his fists at the boat. "Get back here, dickweed! I am not staying here, do you hear me?"
"Oh yes, you are," Chris exclaimed with sadistic joy as he thumped Ezekiel on the back. "There there, I'm sure you won't be voted off first again. Though I cannot promise that!"
Ezekiel glared at Chris with a hatred that almost surpassed one of Eva's; it startled most of the other contestants.
The prairie boy softened up when the host stepped away from him. He let out a sigh and pocketed the golden Z necklace. "Well, if there is no way to escape the inevitable," he said, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes under his toque, "can we begin, eh?"
"Now things are going to be a bit different, people," Chris announced to the campers as soon as they were sitting down at the bonfire site.
"Campers will be divided into different teams after every marshmallow ceremony. So it's best not to make your opponents too mad at you, because they might be the one holding the rope that supports you over the snake pit!"
As he laughed, more than half the campers exchanged terrified looks. That sounded relatively similar to what they had done six months ago.
"You will be taking part in at least one contest before the voting ceremony. The losing team will be the ones sending a poor, losing, defeated soul home. And don't be surprised if the teams are as large as half the campers, or as small as two people per team."
Beth shot her hand up and wiggled her fingers. "Um, Chrith? How can you vote thum'one off your team if you only have two members?"
"Ah, an excellent question, Beth! You get a cookie," he produced a chocolate chip cookie out of thin air and threw it to her. Beth grinned in joy, then split it in half and gave the bigger half to Owen, who was sitting right next to her; she felt almost obligated, because he had big puppy eyes, was whimpering and panting, and had been staring at the cookie since it was produced.
"To answer Beth's question, when the teams are divided up in far smaller numbers than would be conventional to have them decide the loser, the team or teams with the best performance will get to choose who gets voted off from the losing team."
He cackled again and rubbed his hands together. "It's time to see who enjoys playing God, merciful or spiteful." "Like Greek mythology, this'll be," Noah said, smirking a little at his comparison. "Owen would be Zeus; Heather is Hera; Geoff is Dionysus; DJ is Artemis; Trent is Apollo; Lindsay is Aphrodite; and Duncan is Ares."
"Interesting, Noah," said Chris with a click of tongue. "Who am I?"
Chris laughed. "Thank you!"
Noah raised an eyebrow at this. "Somehow I thought he would be, at the least, miffed by that. Not a good sign."
The host chuckled a little more before throwing his hands up in the air. "Well then, denizens of Hell, you are going to be split into teams. For the sake of old times, and that I don't have to put up with memorizing who's on what team again, you're going to be with your old teammate! Screaming Gophers on the right, Killer Bass on the left."
The twenty-two campers scurried to their appropriate sides. Harold and Tyler waved good-bye to their girlfriends as they had to head over to the Killer Bass.
"Good, your first challenge will be announced... now," Chris laughed at his own lame joke. "You all remember the talent show from your fourth challenge of TDI?"
"How could they forget?" Noah remarked. "What was more memorable? Bridgette splattering everyone with regurgitated chips, Heather winning a non-score because she preferred to read aloud Gwen's obvious crush, or," he laughed, "my favorite, the Screaming Gophers cheering for Harold, the winner of the other team?"
His smirk quickly diminished when he earned a fair share of glares from both teams. He sighed and said, "Oh come on, can't you people learn to laugh at yourselves? Helps with humility!"
Chris smirked and crossed his arms. "Careful Noah, you know what a cynical attitude can bring. If you really want to talk smack, use the confession outhouse!"
(Confession Camera - In high-definition low-budget.)
Noah - "This is the pits, just like aforementioned Hades. I'm stuck with the same humorless stuck-ups like back then. Well, what-ever! I can still win this if Chris actually throws some intelligence into this game. ... Though I doubt it."
Izzy - "Noah gets on my nerves at times. He's so smug and arrogant, and I think he's smuggling illegal jelly beans into Camp Wawanakwa. There's in his book, I'm sure of it."
Owen - "I think Noah really needs a hug. We all can use hugs."
"Continuing on what the most important person here was saying," Chris said, thumping his chest lightly, "we are going to have Talent Night 2: Revenge of the Performers!"
"AWESOME," Owen shouted, pumping his fists into the room. He looked around at his teammates. "Can I perform? Please o' please o' please! I can belch the theme song from the first season now!"
"Ewwww," was the reply from most of the girls and Noah. Izzy bounced up and down from one foot to another and asked him to do it now.
"No no, Owen," replied Chris, shaking a finger at the big guy. "This time, each team will have four performers, but also!"
He paused for a few seconds, and before anyone (in particular Gwen or Heather) demanded he get to the point, he finished his sentence. "... Also, the four contestants from each team will be picked by ME!"
The moaning that followed was music to Chris's ears. "Oh c'mon, you party-poopers. It's not like I'm going to pick the talent that your teammates will be performing. That's entirely up to you all."
"Some relief at last," Courtney muttered. Duncan and Bridgette nodded in agreement.
"Now for the Screaming Gophers," Chris went over to them, standing in line as if to judge them, "I think you'd all like Noah to see him put his money where his mouth is! So he can be one of your four contestants."
Noah's eyes went wide as most of his teammates grinned sinisterly at him; Heather dragged a finger across her neck and Izzy cackled as she peeked through the pages of the egghead's book.
"Fine by me," Noah said, slamming his book shut; a sly grin spread across his face as Izzy backed off.
"And because I know you're all going to hate this," Chris continued, and pointed at a certain blond bombshell, "Lindsay!"
"No," shouted Heather.
"Kewl," Lindsay clapped and cheered.
"Oh, but Lindsay, you cannot use looking pretty as a talent," Chris interjected.
The young beauty's face collapsed. "I'm doomed, aren't I?"
"Also, Gwen, you'll be performing," Chris said to the gothic girl. She narrowed her eyes, but made no other protest.
"And last but not least, the ladies' man of unsurpassed popularity (and I must say, I am a wee bit jealous), Cody!"
Cody flushed as Chris, of all people, complimented him. He looked at his teammates and gave them his signature pointing pose. "Consider them wowed in their seats."
Trent was smiling and patting both Gwen and Cody on the back. "I'm sure you two will be great."
Chris then headed over to the Killer Bass, and grinned maliciously at Tyler. "Dude, you sure have changed most out of everyone here. I think you'll be my first pick." The athlete merely smiled and nodded. Courtney slapped her forehead in disgust; she remembered how pathetic Tyler's skills were back then.
"And Bridgette," Chris said, standing in front of the blond surfer, "I think it'd be cool if you got a second chance. Just no hand standing this time."
Bridgette blushed and ran a hand through her ponytail. "Um, okay. Hey, does it have to be on the stage, out of curiosity?"
"We have a screen for the stage, and a portable camera that can be used to project what you're doing from anywhere on the isle. You'll need someone to hold that camera, and it'll appear on the screen on the stage. And since I know what you're thinking of, yes, surfing is allowed."
Bridgette beamed at Chris, and high-fived her boyfriend.
Chris walked by all the Killer Bass again, studying them. He stopped in front of the BFFFs. "Katie, you will be my third choice." Before the tan-skinned girl could open her mouth, Chris added, "Without Sadie. Talent Night 2: Revenge of the Performers is a one-man show."
Katie and Sadie both looked as if they had been smacked hard.
"And finally, why don't we have," Chris stopped in front of Ezekiel and ruffled his toque, "Ezekiel, Mr. Woman Hater himself, be the final performer? I'm sure he'll has some talents, just ask his mom."
"What?!" the prairie boy shouted, throwing his fists up in indignant rage. "What do you mean by that, eh?" Chris cackled as he walked away. "Remember your TDI audition tape?
"So then, we have our eight competitors," Chris announced towards the camera. "Tomorrow afternoon, we will see Lindsay, Bridgette, Noah, Katie, Cody, Tyler, Gwen, and Ezekiel try to entertain the masses, or at the least, their teammates!
"What on earth will some of them be doing? Will the Killer Bass win like last time? Will Noah and Lindsay's performances even be worth watching? Will Katie survive being separated from her best friend for, like, two minutes?
"The answers to all this and more will be revealed next time on Total Drama Comeback!"
(Confession Camera - Better to watch through than the Seat.)
Leshawna - "I wonder if was selecting people because he thought they'd be interesting, or just wanted the people he'd thought would be best to laugh at. Creep."
Owen - "Chris wasn't hugged enough when he was a kid, I think. Maybe I should hug him every day I'm on the island! I'm sure he'd appreciate it!"
Gwen - "Do I even have to say it? Seriously, this might hurt more than last time. Reopened wounds normally do."
Harold - "I wonder if Courtney would accept an apology from me. I'll try to do so before the contest. That is, if she doesn't kill me first."
Ezekiel - "... I. Am not. Staying. Here."
Continued in Part 2.
Day 01 will be divided into several parts. Please take comfort in the fact that this will bring you more of all twenty-two characters before one gets booted off. Buahaha.
Oh, and I apologize for the confusion with the sentences combined. Stupid documents just won't upload, and I have to go over every document with a fine-tooth comb.