Disclaimer - The rights of Total Drama Island and its characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and all those associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction. I'll keep updating, because I'm not yet dead.

Replies to Questions and Comments:

SSBFreak - Yep, Chef is warming up to those that win him money! Hehe.

tdiluvr - Cynical is basically sarcastic, but with the feeling that since all human beings are greedy and pitiful, there's no reason to have faith in them. Noah during TDI can be described best as cynical. "What can I say? Weak effort."

Dementous - I actually have something like that planned, just not saying who or what or why or how or... well, maybe I said too much already. May the undead force be with you too.

Imagi - Wow, you really don't like her. Watch and wait, loyal reader. \evil smirk\

Everyone Else - Thanks for your continued support! \does the 'hang loose' hand sign\ I keep this story going for your comments! You are too kind.

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And now, on with the show!!


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(narrated by Chris Maclean)

Last time on Total Drama Comeback... it was time to group everyone up with handcuffs once again, because we do enjoy making our campers suffer. While being chained to someone like Izzy, Eva, or Duncan might be a hell on earth, some campers actually formed new friendships.

Split into three teams, the kids with the incredible skills won due to Harold, Gwen, and Izzy being such interesting and hardy contestants. Though not all were happy (like me, I lost three-quarters of a hundred bucks, dude!), the winners got to enjoy Chinese food.

Courtney's alliance with Heather and Duncan has provoked another tragic stab to a lover's heart, as Leshawna was voted off. Most everyone was startled by this, especially poor Harold.

Every camper voted off has been a heartbreak for another one. Will the next voting be a surprise attack? Will you not see it coming, or will you be prepared for the assault? And what was I going to say at the end of this sen-

\He is cut off, as a ninja leaps from underneath the dock and wrestles with him. After a ball of dust and stars, the ninja lays unconscious.\

... Wow, that was close! Find out today on Total! ... Drama! ... COMEBACK!

(cue the theme song...)


To my sensei, I'm doing great

Slayin' evil demons of hate

You asked me what I wanted to be

but sadly, I've been sworn to secrecy:

I wanna be... a ninja!

I wanna sharpen a katana blade

And you can't see me hidden in the shade!

Whirling numchucks, and the black array

Throwing stars a-waaaaay!

'cause I wanna be... a ninja!

(Wah-cha-cha-cha-waaah!) x 3

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be ninja!!

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be ninja!!

(sound of a katana blade being unsheathed, and the theme ends)


Chapter 15 (Day 05, Part 1) - Haruto, the Awesome Ninja

--

The Killer Bass's table in the cafeteria was a moody place thanks to three depressed individuals. Katie was relentlessly stirring the slop that was supposed to be breakfast. Bridgette was slumped on the table, her head in her arms. Harold was playing with his food, and Eva noticed that his slop was being shaped in the form of Leshawna's face.

The Screaming Gophers wasn't much better, just more hostile. Gwen kept shooting Heather hateful daggers whenever her eyes came across Leshawna's empty seat.

"Campers," Chris said as he stood in front of the two tables. He stopped when he saw the upset faces. "Why are you all so glum?"

"I miss Sadie," said Katie.

"I miss Leshawna," said Harold.

"I miss Geoff," said Bridgette.

"I miss real food," said Noah.

A low growling from the kitchen signaled Chef's anger towards Noah's remark. But instead of looking horrified and apologizing quickly, the egghead shouted, "Yeah, I said it, I'll say it again if I have to! Your food, if it can be called that, is lame to the extr-ame!"

Chef's reply was to throw a handful of the twitching, red, nondescript food in Noah's face. The bookworm blinked, then turned away from the kitchen. "I went too far, didn't I?"

"Dude, you should know better than now," Trent remarked.

"Someone's going to have to break it to the big guy that his cooking is awful," Noah replied. "For that, I nominate one of you."

"No time to mourn those who have passed on," Chris shouted, upset that the camera wasn't on him. "It's time for the next challenge!"

The lights suddenly went out, and black drapes came down over the windows, blocking all light. The campers looked around, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Hohhhhh... it is time... to unleash your skills, young ones," Chris spoke in the darkness. He had adopted the worst stereotypical Chinese accent that the campers had ever heard. "And you all... will... par-ticipate in this... deadly game of blades and steel! For tonight! Your honor is as stake, as well as you leaving this island... of destiny!"

His speech in the dark was interrupted when a loud fart echoed around the room, then there was a ground-shaking crash. Owen's voice, as well as his smell, could be recognized by the campers.

"Ow! I landed right on my sword's handle!"

The lights came back on, and the campers saw Owen, laying on his stomach and dressed in a black ninja costume, had crash-landed in-between the two tables. A rope waved above him, and some swore they could see the noxious fumes of his flatulence.

"Way to kill the mood, young Owen," Chris spat. The host was also wearing a black costume similar to Owen's.

"What is going on here?" Heather demanded to know. "Why are two dressed like something out of Harold's geeky stories?"

"They're not just stories," Harold shot back at her, adding an, "Idiot," under his breath.

"Campers, it has been called to my attention that you haven't been given every privilege that real campers have experienced," Chris said. "You've had all kinds of activities, fun and/or dangerous. But you've never experienced a larp, as many camps do!"

"A what?" Gwen asked.

"It's 'live action role-playing'," Cody informed her, a big grin on his face.

"Oh, hell no," Heather shouted, gripping her hair and looking close to tearing it out. "Chris, you're dragging us into the nauseating world of Cody and Harold, where we act like elves and dragons?"

"Nope," Chris said, shaking his head. He unsheathed a fake sword and swung it around dramatically. "You are going to be having a ninja larp!"

"This is making me sick," Courtney groaned.

Chris chuckled and spun his sword around in his hand. "Trust me, folks, this is going to be quite the experience. Mainly because of the little twists we've thought of.

"First off, let me announce the teams and the three captains! Now, each team will-"

"Wait wait," Courtney shouted, waving her hands around. "What do you mean by that? We don't get to pick who leads?"

"Nope! This time, you'll obey who I think would be most suiting for leadership," Chris replied.

The CIT flopped back in her chair, grumbling some nasty things. Duncan smirked and patted her shoulder. "You could do without the burden of leadership for once, princess."

"If that's supposed to comfort me, it didn't."

"The first clan is the Bloody Water clan, the guardians of red and blue," Chris exclaimed, holding up a headband with long bangs. "The leader of this clan is... Harold!"

As he tossed the headband to the proclaimed leader, Harold and Courtney gasped for different reasons. The nerd was happily putting it on as the CIT was shouting, "You picked him to lead?"

"Oh, will you chill out already?" Duncan snapped at her, though he was smirking. She had on that cute expression of anger that he loved to see.

"Courtney, please don't start a fight over this," Bridgette pleaded with her friend.


(Confession Cam - Many like it, but this one is yours.)

Bridgette - "Courtney goes off like a rocket whenever Harold comes into the scene. It's starting to really worry me, that she might be letting her anger control her."

Harold - \He is wearing his red-and-blue headband.\ "I think it's still too early to apologize to Courtney. When I said 'good morning' to her today, she... um... said something I'd rather not repeat. But it was \bleeeeeeee-eeeee-eeeeeep\."


"Harold, master of the Bloody Water clan, your fellow ninjas will be those who wear red and blue," Chris continued. "Bridgette of the Blue Jacket, Noah of the Red 'n Blue Sweater Vest, Lindsay of the Blue Hair Piece, Eva of the Dark Blue Sports Outfit, and Tyler of the Red Sports Outfit!"

Tyler looked down at the Hawaiian shirt and jeans he was wearing instead of what he wore the first season, and shrugged.

"The second clan are the Earth Spirits, guardians of green and brown. And most fitting for a crazy ninja title will be... Izzy!"

The redhead let out a massive cheer as she snatched the long headband in midair. She cracked it like a whip, nearly hitting Katie and DJ. Then she tied it on, still cackling.

"Those serving under your wild and crazy leader will be...," Chris started, and some of the campers crossed their fingers in hopes not to be picked.

"DJ of the Green 'D' Jersey, Ezekiel of the Green Jacket, Trent of the Green Camo Shirt, Beth of the Green Blouse, and Justin of the Rippable Green Shirt!"

Izzy whipped around at Justin and growled. The male model shrunk back a little, then shrugged.

"The third and final clan are the Midnight's Glare ninjas, guardians of black and white! Leader will be..."

Duncan looked down at his black shirt and smiled confidentially. Courtney looked torn, wanting to lead but not wanting to be a part of this.

"Cody, our biggest celebrity!"

Most of the campers gasped as Cody caught the white and black headband. Courtney looked like someone kicked her in the teeth, as did Duncan. The geek stared at the headband before squeaking out, "Me?"

"He doesn't even want it," Courtney shouted.

"Is everything a fight with you?" Katie asked her, receiving a very hostile glare from the CIT that made the BFFF reel back in fright.

"I'm cool," Cody said as he tied the headband on. "I will lead Midnight's Glare to glorious and bloody victory!"

"Well said, Cody," Chris cheered him on. "Joining you will be Duncan of the Black Skull Shirt, Katie of the Zebra-Stripe Top, Heather the Ravenhair, Gwen the Dark Goth, and Courtney of the Gray Blouse!"

Gwen and Heather exchanged nasty glares, as Courtney continued to fume and cast some glares of her own at Cody.

"Everyone outside for instructions on how this ninja larp is going to go," Chris instructed them.


(Confession Cam - Larp'ing as a confession booth.)

Cody - \His hair is pitch black, and has his bangs partially over his eyes.\ "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! I know everyone thinks I'm a major geek, but I've never had the pleasure of being in a larp! This is going to be so much fun! And I'm in control! I hope I can win this!"

Izzy - \Her hair is bright pink, and she is wearing tall, gray, open-toe boots.\ "I always wanted to be a ninja. I have the martial arts training, and there are so many evil demons and monsters to kill! Maybe I can interrogate someone about Geoff being voted off, or those illegal jellybeans that I haven't been keeping track of!"

Harold - \His hair is spiked up, and is wearing an orange jacket.\ "This is my chance to prove my worth! I cannot wait to match wits with gonzo Izzy and crafty Cody! But I will prevail, because I am Harold, the Awesome Ninja!"


"The rules are quite simple," the handsome host said to the campers once they were all organized outside. "You will be going into the forest, and will be hunting down the other ninjas from the other two teams! All of your swords are going to activated when you go out into the forest."

" 'Activated'?" Cody asked, looking at his katana blade. Like all the others, it wasn't a real sword but the handle was plastic and the "blade" was a dull metal with no edge.

"Yes, you see, all the swords will have an electric charge going through the blade," Chris explained. "If they come in contact with someone, they'll be stunned for a seconds by an electric shock."

Some of the campers winced at the thought of this. "Don't worry, it's not lethal in any way," Chris assured them. "We tested it on Owen, and he's fine!"

Owen nodded. "I could hold a light bulb in my mouth and keep it on for a few seconds after the amount of times Chris hit me!"

"Okay, Owen, that's enough," Chris said, chuckling nervously as she patted the jolly giant's shoulder. The campers looked more worried. "Here, let me demonstrate."
Chris tapped Chef Hatchet's shoulder with his sword. A burst of electricity made Chef shake, but the big man did not go down. He growled at Chris.

"Oh, you're a big man, that's right," the handsome host said, and he hit the cook three more times. With a loud, warbling shout, Chef Hatchet fell down to the ground, twitching and whimpering.

This did not assure the campers of how safe it was.

"Don't worry about multiple shocks," Chris told them. "When you're out in the forest, there are several rules you must follow:

"Rule #1 - No hitting someone immediately after they go down. You must wait until they have recovered from the shock; it takes about five to ten seconds.

"Rule #2 - No camping! Camping is for losers. If you hang around someone like a vulture, you will be disqualified.

"Rule #3 - No hitting your own teammates! Doing this makes you lose a health point, as well as them!

"About health points, all you 'minor' ninjas have ten, and leaders have fifteen. Your goal is to eliminate the members of one team. Once a ninja has lost all their health points, that ninja is out."

Owen was passing out headbands with no bangs to all the "minor" ninjas. They were respective of their clans: black 'n white, red 'n blue, and green 'n brown.

"When you have been struck too many times, it will be announced over a loudspeaker. You are to take off your headband, and leave the forest."

Heather rolled her eyes. "Yeah right. You're just going to send us out there and let us shock each other silly. You never enforce the rules."

"Oh, not this time," Chris said, shaking his finger at the ravenhair. "This time, there are cameras all over the forest, and our monitors will keep track of you all. So no rule breaking, and you're health points will be monitored."

"Your sword deactivates when you lose all your health points. Now, the losing team has to vote someone out, but the ninja with the highest amount of 'kills' on the losing team will have invincibility.

"The team with the higher amount of 'kills' after one team is eliminated wins! The winning team not only gets to vote for someone in the losing team to get voted off the island, but they also get a hundred dollar gift card for one of their favorite retail chain stores!"

This got everyone's attention. A hundred dollars for one of their favorite stores, even for those with rich life styles like Heather or Lindsay, was a great reward.

"Now I know that some of you aren't getting along. And I want to make this clear: no throwing the challenge so you can vote someone off. You don't want to mess with me on this, I will not have the audience see a boring challenge.

"You have about an hour until the challenge starts to practice your sword fighting. Are there any questions before we begin?" Chris asked.

"Yes," Lindsay spoke up. They all turned around to see her holding her katana by the blade. "How do I use this thing?"


(Confession Cam - I cannot believe it's not real confession!)

Harold - "This... might be a problem. Gosh..."


(The Bloody Water Clan)

"I thought ninjas were your phobia, Harold," Bridgette asked him as she put on her headband.

"Not really, just a fear that they might ambush me when I'm not expecting it," he admitted, tapping his weapon on his shoulder.

Eva looked at the sword in her hand, and let out a disgusted sigh. "This is ridiculous. And Harold, you look ridiculous!"

The brunette nerd touched his hair, gelled up in spikes, then looked down at his bright orange jacket. "You mean you don't like it? Owen gave the jacket to me and-"

"Why do I have to follow you?" the fitness buff shouted. "I don't want to be coached by some guy who looks like a push-up would kill him!"

Noah, who was reading a book titled Ninja Sword Fighting for Smarties, eyed her with his (soon-to-be patented) look. "Do you know how to sword fight?"

"Do you?" Eva fired back, avoiding the question.

"No, that's why I'm reading," the egghead replied. "But I doubt I'll be ready, so hey, I'll just play defense."

"There is no defense," Harold explained to them. "Once we go out there, you have to be ready. Noah, you should go with someone for your safety if you're not good at this kind of thing."

The bookworm looked slightly annoyed by this, but nodded in acknowledgment. "I'll stick with Eva, after she learns how to sword fight."

Eva started to turn red with fury, then was startled as Harold swirled the tip of his sword in front of her face. "Eva, if you're so confident, try fighting me!"

With a determined glare, the muscular lady swung viciously at Harold. The jacketed nerd leapt back and parried. A few more rushed, heavy swings from Eva, all easily dodged or parried, and then Harold disarmed her with a couple swishes of his sword.

Eva looked from her sword lying on the ground to the victorious Harold, incredulous. The now spikey-haired nerd put his hand on her shoulder. "If you were using a two-handed weapon, your strength would be the key. But with a one-handed weapon, a heavy blow is not the key. You need to use agility for a smaller weapon, and I know you have that."

Harold leaned closer and said quietly, "You are a formidable opponent with intimidation, but you should know how to use this blade properly in case you run into someone like Mistress Izzy."

There was silence, then Bridgette and Tyler started to clap. Lindsay let out a cheer (but didn't know why), and Noah nodded. Eva let out a long sigh, then shrugged.

"What the hell?" she said, then grinned, determined. "Teach me, oh master Harold."


(The Earth Spirits Clan)

Trent stared at Izzy. "Why did you dye your hair pink, Izzy?"

The former redhead shrugged, with a mysterious smile on her face, as she dusted off her new boots. The tall, gray, open-toe boots were also new, but nowhere near as noticeable as Izzy's hair being cotton candy-colored.

"Hair color is not important in the face of the enemy," she replied. "Any of you sword fight before?"

All of her ninjas shook their heads. She rolled her eyes and replied, "Well then, we got a lot of work to do! DJ, you practice with Beth; Trent with Justin; Ezekiel with me."

The training paid off, but Izzy was obviously never taught to play gentle when she was young. Ezekiel was covered in bruises and moaning after twenty minutes.

"C'mon, prairie boy, the enemy won't show mercy," Izzy shouted.

"Well, we want him conscious for the challenge," DJ pointed out. Ezekiel shrugged, almost falling over from a woozy spell.

"Nonsense! He likes this! Don't you, Zeke?" Izzy said, banging him on the head with her sword. He yelped, then fell over backwards. "Oops. Sorry, one without a thick skull."

Beth approached Izzy, although a bit nervous. "Ith... Izz-zzzthy," she lisped, sighing in frustration before continuing, "any suggestions for how to fight?"

"Well, you, like me, are small and can hide easily," Izzy said, kneeling down so she was eye-level with Beth. "Leap from the bushes, and plunge the sword into their back."

"You mean hit them with the fake sword, right Izzy?" Trent asked.

The crazy girl looked confused, then nodded and smiled to acknowledge Trent. The musician exchanged nervous glances with Justin.


(Midnight's Glare Clan)

Cody stared at his fellow clansmen through his black bangs. They stared back at him, startled by how his hair was longer and pure black.

"Alright, my fellow ninjas," he said, his stare unrelenting, "we are going to be fighting some serious competition. Harold is a ninja expert, and Izzy is going to be a living blade storm. Do any of you have any sword experience beforehand?"

They all looked at each other, dumbfound, as if they couldn't believe Cody had asked such a stupid question. Before the geek ninja could speak again, Heather snapped at him.

"Why are you dressed up as an emo?" she asked.

"I'm not an emo, I'm a ninja," Cody protested.

"I've seen emo kids at school who don't have emo hair as much as yours," Heather retorted, smirking.

"I am ninja!" Cody shouted, sweeping his bangs aside. He pointed at Duncan, "He is ninja," then he pointed at Gwen, "she is ninja too! Now if you don't mind, Heather, I am your ninja master! And if you want to get through this challenge in one piece, you'd better listen to what I say, for I believe that you are ninja too!"

Heather shook her head. "I am not going to listen to some freak-geek like you," she said before strutting off. The ravenhair leaned against a tree and started to file her nails. "If you're going to be such a super geek, you can protect me, the pretty girl, for the challenge so I don't get hurt."

Katie and Gwen looked furious at her for a few seconds, then turned back to a baffled Cody. "Don't mind her," Gwen said, patting his shoulder. "Let her get slashed to pieces by the enemy."

Courtney sighed and shook her head. "Look, Cody, no offense, but you're not exactly leadership material here."

"But I do know a little bit about sword fighting," the geek exclaimed, waving his sword around. "And when you're out there, alone and against like, say, Eva or Izzy, you might want to know a fighting technique or two."

Courtney looked surprised by Cody's gusto, but stood firm. "Do you really think that you can do this?"

"Absolutely," Cody shouted, thumping his chest. He hacked and coughed from his own self-pounding.

"Give him a chance, my ninja princess," Duncan said, smirking at the CIT. "He did win that trek through Boney Island!"

Courtney's defense faded. "Oh... okay. Cody, show us what you're made of."

"Excellent choice," Cody said, grinning. "You will all learn some of the ninja techniques I've picked up, and I hope you will use them to the best of your ninja ability."

"More like emo abilities," Heather called out to him.


(Confession Cam - We are ninja too!)

Gwen - "Heather is like the old definition of insanity, which is that you keep trying the same thing and believing it will work. She truly believes that doing nothing during physical challenges will work out for her. Good thing..." \she smirks wickedly\ "... that she doesn't believe karma as well."


"Attention ninjas," Chris's voice boomed overhead on the loudspeaker, "one minute until you head out. Remember, ninjas mostly fight alone, so divide up before the starting bell rings!"

Izzy was up in a tree, muttering some kind of wartime chant. Tyler was twirling his sword by the handle, dropping it a couple times. Cody was, grudgingly, standing nearby Heather.

"I don't see why you cannot just try, Heather," he said to her, crossing her arms and fuming.

"I refuse to participate in nerd games," she replied. She smirked when she glanced at him. "Keep up that look, you really look like an emo now."

The loudspeaker blared with a high-pitched whine. "Are you ready, ninjas? Ready... and...

"GO!"

The majority of ninja-campers bolted into the forest. Cody and Heather were among those who didn't bolt, mainly because Heather wouldn't bolt and Cody was forced to stay near her.

"This is really annoying," Cody protested, fuming and holding his sword more carefully now.

"Yes it is," Heather replied. "Annoying in the fact that I have to participate in this geek-fest. I wish Chris wouldn't stoop to your dweeby level."

"Do you hate everything that isn't of your style of life?" Cody said, rolling his eyes. Even though she was (physically) very attractive, the geek was having a hard time coping with Heather; especially since the ravenhair was such a vicious nemesis of Gwen.

"Pretty much, yeah. I don't think I need to involve myself in pitiful games like this larp carp."

"That's awfully close-minde-"

He was cut off when struck from the side by an electric katana. Beth grinned as Cody went down, though she muttered a small, "Sorry, Cody," before turning to Heather.

The ravenhair was alert now. She held up her sword, glaring at Beth. "So, the lisping farm girl thinks she's a ninja now."

"Mock me all you want, Heather," the shorter girl replied, "but Mistress Ithsthy taught me thome moves on how to take down a harpy like you!"

Heather rolled her eyes; that was a huge mistake. While she did, Beth leapt forward, parrying the queen bee's sword, leapt up and whacked Heather on the head with her electrified sword.


(Confession Cam - That's our name, don't wear it out.)

Chris Maclean - "I should have mentioned at the beginning that head blows from the electric katana blades. It's not really fair to hit someone on the head with it. They've been known to temporarily cause brain malfunction, a.k.a. goofiness! Oh, and wouldn't recommend licking them either; Owen learned that the hard way."


Heather went down on her butt, still gripping her sword. She let out a high-pitched cry, then whined.

"Take that, Heather! Ha," Beth shouted.

"Dat was really wude, you knows," Heather babbled, pointing at Beth and wobbling.

"Huh?" her attacker honked. The farm girl expected to Heather to be deceitful and/or mean, but not goofy-acting.

"Yous hit me on my hair," the queen bee continued to whine. "My hair has feewings too, you know... owie-wowiee..."

"Did I thcramble your brain accidentally?"

She didn't get to ponder it for long, because Cody, who had recovered by now, struck Beth in the back. The electric shock jolted the farm girl down to the ground, while the geek rushed to grab Heather.

"C'mon Heather, before more arrive," he shouted, dragging her as she stumbled to a very clumsy run.

"Yur Cody, right?" Heather asked, woozy. "Dat skinny kiddy who always stares at Guh-when?"

The brunette ninja boy managed to pull Heather a safe distance from where they encountered Beth. He began to shake the ravenhair, as she made warbling sounds to the shaking.

"Heather! Listen to me! Focus! She couldn't have hit you that hard!"

"She no hit me hard," Heather giggled, a grin much like Izzy's spread across her face. "She hit my noggin hard! Hehe, noggin! Nogg-in! Nogg..."

"Heather!"

"Hoggin?" Heather asked. She looked all around, then her eyes rested on her sword. "Hoggin? Poppin? Pop... sicle? Popsicle!"

In the most bizarre thing Cody had ever seen in his life, Heather, the meanest and most sinister girl he had ever met, licked her electrified katana blade. She received another jolt and went down, tongue hanging out.

Cody scratched his head, right before Justin leapt out of the bushes at him. The geek defended himself from the model's attacks, parrying and blocking as best as he could.

As they fought, Heather stood up slowly, tongue hanging out. "Wub happin wid pawpsickle?" she asked.

She was struck in the stomach by one of Justin's swings and sent back down for the count.


Ezekiel looked around, keeping his eyes narrowed and ready. He spun around at every snapping of twig, every rustle of the trees or bushes.

"I may have Izzy on my team," he thought to himself, "but I can still count on them being sneaky. They will come at any direction, eh! I must be alert, and ready and... oh look!"

He spotted a turtle slowly crawling across the ground. "Hi, Mr. Turtle," he called out. He bent over to pat it on the shell, when he felt the 'whoosh' of a sword over his head.

Ezekiel whirled around, Katie standing there with her katana blade ready for another swing.

"Almost had me there, Katie," Ezekiel shouted as he jumped back. "Did you plant that turtle there, eh?"

"No, but he is cute, isn't he?" the BFFF said before leaping at the prairie boy.

They exchanged blows before Katie left herself open with a wide swing, and Ezekiel hit her, knocking her down to the ground dazed.

The prairie boy chuckled and darted off, leaving Katie to pick herself up a few seconds later. The tan-skinned girl moaned and shook off the daze before heading off in the direction she believed Ezekiel had headed down. She left the turtle behind, while the small reptile thought that was the coolest fight he'd ever seen in his slow life.

"Cowabunga, dude," he said in Turtle language.


Duncan was walking through the forest rather slowly. He took time out to remove a can of spray paint from his back pocket. With a smug smirk, he began spraying his logo (a skull) on a tree. Then, when he made sure no one was around, he sprayed out a heart that said 'D + C' inside of it.

"Awww, yeah," he said, marveling his work. "I am one romantic punk."

A twig snapped behind him. He ducked, missing getting hit by one of those electric katana blades by a few inches. Quickly stuffing his spray can in his back pocket, he faced his opponent.

It was Bridgette, though something was quite different about her. She was wearing a crimson, skintight body suit that went from her toes up to her neck. In this tight outfit, Duncan noticed something that made him cock an eyebrow.

"Are you cold or something?" he asked. "Because your nipples are really hard right-"

With a hard smack across the face with her palm, she replied, "Don't stare, you pervert!"

Attacking with swords now, the criminal and the surfer chick were sword fighting with high intensity. The blond surfer leapt all around him, letting out high-pitched shrieks and shouting things like, "Be gone, demon," and "No escape!"

The fight continued on for some time before Duncan realized something. "Bridgette is terrified to be in the woods alone," he thought. "That must mean there is someone else nearb-"

He was struck in the back by Tyler, who had waited for the right moment. The punk hit the ground from the electric shock, twitching and groaning. Bridgette and Tyler high-fived before heading off.

The loudspeaker overheard crackled seconds after they fled where they left Duncan. "Attention, camper-ninjas," Chris's voice came overhead. "Lindsay of the Bloody Water Clan has been eliminated from the game."

"What?!" Noah shouted. "That's impossible, we're only two minutes into this game!"

"Apparently," Chris continued, as if he heard Noah, "Lindsay was holding the bladed end of her sword when they were turned on. After recovering from her shock, she then tried to pick it up again by the blade... nine more times."

Noah and Bridgette slapped their foreheads. A little bit of a distance off, they heard Duncan laughing and coughing.

"Carry on, ninjas," were Chris's last words.


"Heather, will you snap out of it?"

"Yelwing hurd mah earsah, peeze stawp."

Cody smacked his forehead in frustration. He had managed to score a hit on Justin, then grab the stupefied popular girl and lead her away from danger. Dealing with her in this state was worse, as her brain and tongue had been numbed.

"Listen, you are Heather! Heather! You are a ninja! I am ninja too, see?"

Heather tried to say, "Are you?" but it came out, "Ryu?"

Cody rolled his eyes, then noticed some thick bushes. He quickly pushed Heather into them, saying, "Just hide there and don't make any noise until you feel better! I cannot spend the whole challenge baby-sitting you!"

Heather tried to say, "What's the score? Ten? Six? Zero?"

What she said was, "Duhhh, who id scor-pion? Sub... zero?"

"Yes, Heather, think about nice ninjas while the rest of us be real ninjas," Cody said before bolting.

The queen bee sat in the bushes, staring around at her rough surroundings, before calling out to Cody.

"Cody? Cody?" she meant to say.

"Mooooo-ie? Mooooooo-ie?"


Trent, Ezekiel, and DJ managed to run into each other as they were hunting through the woods.

"Run into any of them? I got nothing," Trent admitted.

"I managed to get Katie one, eh," Ezekiel said.

"I got zapped by Gwen," DJ said, hanging his head in shame. "She was pretty good at sword fighting, your girlfriend."

"Thanks but this is hardly the time to compliment the ene...," Trent stopped short. His ears perked up as he looked around. "Did you guys hear something?"

Before the two could reply, an orange blur dashed by all of them with three carefully aimed slices. The figure stopped with its back to them, posing with the sword pointing out. DJ, Ezekiel, and Trent hit the ground as the electric shock briefly paralyzed their muscles.

Harold grinned as he looked over his shoulder, then dashed away, shouting, "Yes! Score three for the Bloody Water Clan!"


Eva and Noah were traveling together when they were ambushed by Izzy and by Courtney. The two Blood Water ninjas fought their separate foes, until the now pink-haired girl managed to overpower Eva and shock her on the shoulder.

Crazy ninja girl spun around to see Noah being defeated by Courtney. The CIT smirked confidentially as she looked at Izzy. "I am the better ninja here," she hissed, "so you better believe it!"

Izzy's eye twitched. "What do you say?"

Courtney was startled by this sudden anger. "I said, 'believe it'."

The forest shook with Izzy's scream of "NO!!" Birds flew away, squirrels scattered, turtles hopped on skateboards and rolled off.

A very stunned and shocked Courtney stared up at the sky, having been hit hard by one of Izzy's electrical katana blade swipes. The crazy girl, her green eyes blazing, hissed at the fallen CIT, "Shut up, shut up, shut up! Never say that again!"


(Confession Cam - We don't believe it.)

Courtney - "I don't think I'll ever get that crazy girl. And I don't think... no, I know I don't want to."


Gwen ran through the woods, pursued by Justin. She had not wanted to risk fighting the handsome model, and so she tried to beat a hasty retreat. When she felt she had lost him, she stopped to catch her breath.

"That was too close," she muttered to herself, wiping the sweat from her face.

"Moooooooooo?"
She froze when she heard the new voice. Stopping to listen, she heard it again.

"Mooooo-ooooo?
Gwen had thought she'd seen it all on this island. She apparently had not heard it all.

"Mooooo-ooooo-ooooo?"

"A cow? Now how...," Gwen stammered as she followed the sound of the mooing. She came across some bushes while she trailed the sound. As she peered inn, she was startled when Heather, with her tongue hanging out and as wobbly as a drunk, came out, waving her arms.

The queen bee stopped when Gwen let out a startled shout. She stared at this new person like if she was trying to remember it from far far away.

"Oh, is that you, Gwen?" she tried to say.

"Oh, it fat stooge hen," is what she said.

Gwen's eye twitched, and Heather received another electric katana bash.


Chris Maclean and Chef Hatchet watched the incredible ninja fights from a secret tent outside the forest. They clapped whenever a camper went down from an electric shock, and tried to bet on who would win the serious katana blade fights. Lindsay was in the tent too, watching the many screens with an incredible (but ignorant) fascination.

"So, who's winning?" she asked.

"It changes so often, it's hard to keep up with," Chris told her.

"Oh. Well, who's the home team?"

Chef and Chris exchanged glances. "Um, we are," Chris lied to satisfy the blond girl.

"Oh. Is Tiger doing alright?"

"He's doing fine."

"Cool," Lindsay said with a giggle. "He is such a great athlete, he'll take them all on."

"I'm sure he will."

At that particular moment, Tyler had tripped over a tree root when fighting Katie, and took a hit from her sword.

Lindsay sat there, bobbing her head and watching the screens. "So how much longer is the fight going to be?"

"That depends," Chris replied. "We might have to go to a commercial break."

"Silly Cristo, this is real life. Real life doesn't haven't commercial breaks!"

Chris and Chef exchanged glances once again.


OOO-- We interrupt this reality show to bring you this important message! --OOO

The explosion rocked the earth, and when the dust cleared, the three-and-a-half foot being stood there, undamaged by the colossal attack. Dressed in torn necro-styled gear, he threw his cape back as he stared down his two opponents as they looked at him down the crater the first one's powerful attack had caused.

"Ezekiel," Tyler shouted, flexing his muscles, "what does the scouter say about his word count?"

After seeing the numbers flash across the small screen, Ezekiel tore the scouter away from his eye. "IT'S OVER NINETY THOUSA-AAAAAAAAND!!"

"What?! Ninety thousand?!" Tyler repeated, spitting every word. "There's no way that can be right? Can i-iiiiiiit?"

"I think it's right," the kobold necromancer shouted back, grinning evilly.

"Wait a minute," Tyler suddenly asked. "Does that count author notes and, like, disclaimers?"

"Yeah, and this little skit too, eh," Ezekiel replied with a shrug.

"Oh," the jock said, then shouted at their opponent, "Cheapskate!"

"Hey, that was uncalled for," the kobold necromancer shouted, throwing his little arms in the air in indignant rage.

OOO-- Had this message been of real importance, you wouldn't see it here. --OOO


Part 2 approaching, pending, forthcoming, nearing, impending, and on it's way!


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Your suggestions are all taken into consideration. Sadly, I cannot do them all, but I can try to borrow them. (And when I say 'borrow,' I mean I will NINJA them! Buahaha!)

Before any of ask, no, I am not a Naruto fan. I have read some of the manga at work during break (I work at Barnes & Noble), so I get a basic grip of it. While there are some obvious spoofs of Naruto in here, the superpowers they use are impossible in TDI for a full spoof. Having Izzy with pink hair, Cody with black bangs, and Harold in an orange jacket is good enough, believe it. \gets slapped\

Oh, and here are the teams:

Bloody Water - Harold, Bridgette, Noah, Lindsay, Eva, Tyler

Earth Spirits - Izzy, DJ, Ezekiel, Trent, Beth, Justin

Midnight's Glare - Cody, Duncan, Katie, Heather, Gwen, Courtney