I have no inspiration at all, it left me broken and bleeding, bastard. I took some gaps in the show and filled them up with Janto. Missing scene sort of thing. I can only write sweet for the moment. Sorry..
Post Small worlds.
"I'm going home Jack. Can I get you anything before I leave? "
Jack didn't look up, he didn't answer. He just sat there, staring into space.
Ianto stepped into the office and went to the liquor cabinet. He took out two glasses and the half-empty bottle of Scotch and sat down in the chair opposite Jack's.
He poured a generous amount for the both of them.
Jack took the glass, still not really acknowledging Ianto's presence and emptied the glass in one go.
"It seems that, 'are you alright?' is a redundant question, isn't it?" Ianto took a sip from his glass and poured some more in Jack's.
"She's dead" Jack said unceremoniously.
Ianto had heard the story of how Estelle died at the hands of the fairies and how much Jack seemed to be grieving.
He'd seen Jack enter the hub and go to his office. The look on Jack's face had said enough.
Ianto could see how important that person had been to him and he remembered his words the day Lisa died "have you ever loved someone Jack?".
Apparently, Jack had loved and now he'd lost. It made Ianto feel bad for doubting Jack's capacity to care.
"I'm sorry for your loss" Ianto didn't know what else to say. He'd never been good in these kind of situations. Jack took another swig of his drink and relaxed in his seat.
"I loved her so much Ianto. I had to leave her and it broke her heart. She spent the rest of her life waiting for me"
"I suppose you won't tell me exactly how that is possible?"
"It's… complicated" Jack said, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. "Are the others ever going to talk to me again?" he asked, desperate to change the conversation.
Ianto didn't want to push the topic. He just wanted to be there for Jack, the way Jack had been there for him a few months ago.
"Of course they will Jack, give them time. You did what you had to do. They'll eventually understand that you're the one who makes the hard decisions."
Jack looked up at him defiantly. "You were less understanding when you were at the receiving end of my "hard decisions."
"Yes I was" Ianto answered truthfully, he did call Jack a monster after all "but you were right in the end. You did what you had to do, because I couldn't. And you did the same today. You took the blame away from everyone, so they don't have to feel guilty. They're just angry Jack, but anger fades. They'll turn 'round eventually."
Jack knew that this was Ianto's way to show forgiveness and he knew he couldn't expect more of an apology. He had never hoped for either, to get both, today of all days, felt like a gift from God.
"You're wise beyond your years, Mister Jones" he said with an trace of a smile.
"I've been told that before, Sir"
Ianto felt relieved to see his captain smiling and the fact that he helped achieve this was a welcome reward for his efforts.
Jack got up from his seat and came to sit on the desk in front of Ianto.
"What are you still doing here, Ianto?" Jack said playfully "You spend way too much time in the hub. You need fresh air and lots of rest if you want to stay this handsome."
Jack was flirting with him again! The first time since his suspension.
Ianto had thought those days over, but Jack was sitting inches away from him, smiling that evil grin of his and he felt confused and relieved.
Confused about how easy it seemed for Jack to go from grieving to flirting and relieved because they were being playful again. He had missed this more than he'd want to admit. To him it was proof that the wounds were healing and that eventually everything would OK between them.
"I just wanted to be sure you were alright sir." Ianto stood up, straightened his jacket and moved to leave but Jack took his hand before he could go anywhere. He felt Jack's hand in his, Jack's thumb stroking the back of his hand and he felt so lonely all of a sudden, so terribly alone.
Looking at their entwined hands Ianto thought of how long it had been, this simple act of holding hands, not just because someone was in pain, but simply because someone wanted to touch you, it seemed like such a distant memory.
He looked up to meet Jack's eyes and he could almost see a smug understanding in Jack's smile. "Thank you Ianto, now go home, before I keep you here"
He let go of Jack's hand and started walking towards the door.