On a Random Person's Roof
Enter our heroes, L4rg0, and his partner in crime, the renowned Boo. Team Ph34r.
Her we have our innocent onlookers, Piro and Seraphim. Team Love.
Fully equipped with Sega plasma cannons, crossbows with poison tipped arrows, and of course, ph34rb075, L4rg0 and Boo are ready.
Piro and Seraphim have a different technique . . . they are sane and have mad karate skillz.
Ph34r advances slowly. . . crossbows at the ready. Their base is surrounded by ph34rb075 and heavily supplied with b33r.
Love stands their ground. Their base is rather simple, a reclining chair that is a vibrant green with jade stuck into the mahogany lags and arms, and a purple faux fur couch with fringed and elephant embroidered pillows.
The air crackles with the tenseness. Love is poised, ready to strike. Ph34r is loaded and their fingers,(or in Boo's case, paws) are on the triggers.
Piro attacks first, where he throws Seraphim at Boo, high-heeled shoe point first. Ph34r counters with a volley of explosives that causes the roof to drop a few meters. The couch becomes imbedded in plaster and cracked support beams and the chair tips over and lands with a resounding splintering sound. Ph34rs base crumbles. All that remains is piles of b33r soaked cardboard boxes.
The b33r spillage is so bad, there is now a pool in the centre of the roof. Seraphim is enraged. " Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!! This was supposed to be easy!! Do you know what those were!? They were antiques!! Worth 42 million yen!!" she screamed. Piro looks pretty purple with rage himself. Very lovely with his silver framed glasses.
Team Love is turned into a beast. They are moving at lightning speed, too fast to see. When ever they are close enough, team ph34r gets some daggers and kicks in their sides. Largo is shooting off the plasma guns aimlessly, trying to find them. He must have hit him, because a moan emanates from where largo has just shot. Piro crumples to the ground. Seraphim zips over to him, instantly concerned.
Pink puff of cloud emerges, and slow music starts playing.
"Go on without me!" Piro rasps.
"We must do this together!!" Seraphim sighs.
As they are speaking, a mechanical grinding noise is growing louder. Boo is at the ready to kill, when . . .
Team ph34r is swept into the air by none other than. . .
Our fairy godfather, Junpei!! in a Rent-a-Zilla!
"Now, now, you four," he trills in his high soprano voice, "play nicely." And with a swish of his magical chrysanthemum, Piro heals, and they become one team. . .
Love of Ph34r!!
An excerpt from Junpei's memoirs