Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, le sigh, Stephenie Meyer does

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I went down the stairs more quickly than I could have ever managed before, was this part of being a vampire?, I wondered. If it was then I definitely liked it, I wonder if my clumsiness will also go away.

I hear her coming, I heard one of their thoughts.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I saw all of the Cullens sitting in the living room. The enormous living room was beautifully decorated, it was white, but had long cream colored curtains on the humongous windows. The furniture looked quite exquisite, there were splashes of colors throughout the room mostly in decorations, a red vase, orange pillows. I have never thought that colors could be so beautiful, my vampire eyesight must be keener to colors, I thought. Then I looked at all the vampires, looking at me, all with anticipation on their faces. Most of them had only one thought in their minds, What is her decision?

I stood and looked at them all and began to speak, directing my gaze to Carlisle, as I figured he was the one in charge of this family. "Carlisle, I have decided to stay here with you and your family for now. I realize that I do not know enough of how to be a vampire to go on my own right now and I do not want to take any human life. If it going to be as difficult as you say, I would greatly appreciate your help in this transition. But I have a few requests on my part to make my stay easier here."

"Whatever you like Bella" he replied.

I looked towards Edward, my monster "First of all I would like you, Edward ,to stay away from me" his face turned into sorrow, I continued, "you did this to me, and I cannot bear to look at you." his family now all looked shocked and hurt, but their thoughts eased me as they were all thinking telling Edward to listen for me for now. "If this request is not possible, please let me know, I do not want to tear apart your family, I just cannot be in the same room as Edward" I now said softly, and with a swift movement he was gone, but as he passed by me, his arm touched mine, and a familiar electric shock passed through me, I looked up at him as he went up the stairs, he looked at me, I will do as you ask Bella, and disappeared up the stairs. I immediately felt guilty because of the look I saw in his eyes, but I was too angry for what he did to me, I could not be around him, I did not want to be around him. It was his fault I was in this situation in the first place.

I looked back at all their hurt faces and continued, "Second, if I decide to leave, I do not want anyone of you to change my mind. I have not chosen this, and I want to learn how to live with what has been done to me. And last, this is not really a request, but you said we needed to discuss what is to be done as far as my missing status is concerned. What does your kind do with these types of situations?" I said this all as calmly as I could, even though my emotions were on overload. I was scared, anxious, angry, and full of a hunger I could not understand, and I moved over to the empty chair and collapsed while looking the Cullens waiting for them to respond.

Edward has really hurt Bella, I can understand how she feels, I hope that she can find a way to forgive my son and we can be a family, Esme thought as I looked at her. I heard all their thoughts, they were all along the same lines as Esme's, they really loved Edward, and I started to wonder if I could ever find in my heart to forgive him in my existence, just then Carlisle spoke, "Bella, we can understand why you feel as you do about Edward, we all hope you can find it in your heart to forgive him, but he has agreed to your request and he will stay away from you, so we can comply with your request, as Edward already has. And of course if you decide to leave, we will not prevent you, as I stated before. You may stay here as long as you like, our home is and will always be open to you. We may not know each other well yet, but we now consider you family, and our door will always be welcome for you. And thirdly, what we usually do in these types of situations is fake your death. It will be easier on your family as you will never be able to see them again since you will never age, you will forever look as you do right now." I gasped at his last statement, I will forever be seventeen? How can that be?

I thought of my parents, it will kill them to know that I have died, and the only last gift I could give them is for them to feel I did not suffer in my death, and I replied to Carlisle, "Please Carlisle, please make my death be as painless as possible for my family. I do not wish for them to suffer thinking I had a painful death, my death alone is going to crush them." As I said this, I started to sob, but the tears I was expecting, did not come, my eyes were completely dry. As I crumpled into my hands, the little Alice came over to comfort me, but as she touched me, I was immediately put into a trance.

I saw myself running through the woods, with an ache in my throat that was an unbearable fire. I was following a scent, I did not know what it belonged to, all I knew is that I was positive that once I found it, this burn in my throat would be quenched. I kept moving through the lush green forest, and finally I saw what I was looking for, the source of that beautiful scent. It was a man, hiking, listening to his ipod, as he was following the trail, and my senses took over and I pounced on him, my teeth sank into his pulsating throat, and blood rushed into my mouth, coating my dry aching throat, it felt wonderful, I felt as I was in ecstasy. I kept drinking, and finally the blood stopped flowing, and I let go to see the man in my arms dead, and I screamed and unnatural scream. I dropped him on the floor, and kept running. I had just killed a human being.

And just liked I was pulled out of the trance while the 6 remaining vampires were looking at me with concerned eyes. "Bella what just happened to you? You looked like Alice when she sees the future?" the blonde haired Jasper asked me, and placed his hand on mine to comfort me, I felt a wave a calm pulse through me, but then I was bombarded with so much emotion, I could not think straight. I kept hearing their minds but there were so many thoughts, they were all jumbled, and as Jasper touched me, I felt as if I was feeling all the emotions that each of them were thinking. Shock, confusion, worry, despair, and I crumpled on the floor, in my own personal hell, again. For 3 days, I was burning, and now, I could not contain what was going on inside of my mind. I felt them all trying to shake me out of this personal hell, but none of them were successful, and then I realized what I needed to do, and I got up and ran outside into the woods. I needed to be rid of them, all their thoughts, their visions, their emotions, I felt as if I was going to explode form the inside out. I ran faster then I thought humanly possibly, I could not bear to look behind me in case they were following me. I needed to get away. I do not know how long I ran for, but then all of sudden I was struck by something completely unexpected. My nose picked up a scent in the air, and then my body tensed, and my mouth filled with venom, and I knew what I had to do, I had to follow the scent, it would be my only relief from this nightmare, it would be my own personal ecstasy in this personal hell on earth. My body had already started leading me to the scent, my body had completely taken over, and my mind was finally calm. For a split second I realized this seemed like déjà vu, but I let it go, I was much to enthralled to find my prize, the fill this thirst. I followed the scent slowly now, to pick it up and savor what would soon be mine. I was walking through the trees, and found that I could smell the whole forest it seems, I smelled the trees, the bark, the grass, the flowers, everything, I could pick up all the scents, but there was only one that was the most alluring, and then I saw him. The man from my vision, hiking with his ipod, and I smiled. I knew what was going to happen next, and did not hesitate, I remembered how sweet his blood would taste, and I pounced.