Okay, SharinganWarriorTribute is a genius. Randomly speaking of Spray Cheez on the phone, she came up with the idea of Reiji and Hikaru doing battle, not with dragons, but with sprayable cheese product. I mean, come on! What's more random than that? Well, I could probably think of something, but this is a bloody good idea. So yeah, some of the credit must go to her.
Summary: After doing battle in the D-Zone following return from Ri-kyuu, Oozora Reiji challenges Himuro Hikaru to a different kind of duel…
Warning: CRACK. Probable OOCness. Sorry. Oh, and I'll be using the storyline from the anime, because I know the basic plot of the second half of the manga, but not every detail, so yeah.
Disclaimer: Though I have, at one point in my life, owned a can of Spray Cheez, I do not own that product, nor do I own Dragon Drive. I do not know who owns Spray Cheez, but Dragon Drive is owned by Ken'ichi Sakura.
Teh Spray Cheez Battle o'DOOM
Himuro blinked, looking with a rather confused expression at the can that Oozora had just handed him. It appeared to be Spray Cheez.
"Why did you just hand me a can of Spray Cheez?"
"Because we are to do battle!!" screamed Reiji.
Hikaru blinked again.
"Yes! Battle! For your sound thrashing of my person at Dragon Drive has made me depressed! And thus, we must do battle in a field of which you know nothing! For that is only fair! You must fight me…with Spray Cheez!" Reiji did an over-the-top obligatory anime pose involving a thumbs up and idiotic grin.
"Ohhh…that's what you want," said Hikaru, almost what could be called amused. "You realize my sister used to do this, right?"
"You have a…ACK! The cheez! It BURNS! What did you do, heat this stuff? How did you do that? Shouldn't the can explode if you do that? Jeez, man!"
"I didn't heat it. Don't you know there are toxic chemicals in Spray Cheez? And I don't have a sister, by the way. That was a lie."
"You mean like the cake?"
"Yes, Oozora, like the cake. I had to distract you while I figured out how to utilize this weapon. And as for how I knew there were chemicals in it, I read the label."
"You can read? I thought you dropped out of high school."
"Because I was bored, not because I was stupid. Now seriously, if we're going to do battle with Spray Cheez, let's get on with it alre—OW! Christ, Oozora, what was that for?!"
"Payback time, Himuro!"
"You will pay with your life, scum!"
And thus did the great Spray Cheez battle of whatever year this was commence. No one knows who won, except the old lady who used to live across from Ryugujo, because everyone knows that the old lady with the cat and the snot bubble is just a prop.
And now for an interview with the old lady who was not a prop.
"Oh yes, I remember those boys," said a random old lady. "They were crazy. I saw a lot of weird stuff go on at that old candy store, but nothing like them two boys fighting with sprayable cheese product. The short one was louder, I remember. Do you have any soap? Nothing like the taste of fresh soap in the morning. Why, one morning—"
And that is all the time we have for the weird soap-eating old lady.
"You are pathetic. Stick to Dragon Drive, King of Tardiness. Not that you're much better at that."
"You don't get to call me that, Himuro! Being late is better than never showing up!"
And thus did Himuro ignore Oozora, for he had no comeback for that.
Okay, so maybe we do know who won. Sue me.
Okay, it wasn't that good. It was rather stupid. Good idea, though, Sharingan. I just may have killed it. Sorry.