AN: Has anyone noticed most fictions that have Yugi and Yami in an argument of the sort seem to be angst oriented? Well this one is a bit different; I wanted to tap into the more eccentric side of Yami. By the way, the two have separate bodies in this story.
Description: After a misunderstanding between Yami and Yugi, resulting from a blunder by the Pharaoh, leads Yami to go on what he deems a "Quest" This is a one-shot.
Disclaimer: Since I am not a middle-aged Japanese man obsessed with cards, I think were in the clear. Oh, I also have absolutely nothing to do with the Seiyu Group-Wal-Mart really is taking over the world….
Read and Review and as always, enjoy!
It wasn't his fault. Really…well in retrospect he supposed it was. After all, the microwave didn't catch fire all by itself….could it? Those Ra damned pieces of technology could have minds of there own; his Aibou seemed to disagree strongly about that. Then there was the fire…that he did take the blame for, and the incident with the fire extinguisher….
Well hopefully his quest would redeem himself in his Aibou's eyes, after all, he did seem to be pretty upset…Yami suppressed a shiver, his aibou could be scary sometimes. The ancient Pharaoh was just glad that Yugi didn't use his puppy-eye technique-that was deadly, and Yami swore that it would be the death of him. Metaphorically speaking of course.
Yami glossed over a few details in his mind, not really wanting to dwell too much on them at the moment. He hoped his aibou wasn't worried, as he had left when Yugi was still in a huff. He also hadn't really mentioned his self-appointed "Quest". So it was safe to say Yugi probably didn't know he stepped out. The ancient pharaoh had too much pride to stop with his quest. The inherent problem was he really didn't know where to start, Yami found himself getting surprised about vastness of Domino; metal behemoths that rose up from the ground and nearly touched the sky.
Some streets thronged with people and others were near deserted, depending upon the time. At this hour, midday the streets weren't occupied by many save for a few running errands, getting an early lunch, or the occasional truant. No one really paid attention to anyone else, so Yami wondered who he could ask for assistance.
But fortunately for him, Yami just happened to stumble right into the Seiyu Group. Of course, Yami didn't know what it was called; to him stores were called market places and employees were called vendors. When he told Yugi this, the young duelist tried and failed to hide his amusement. Even though Yugi corrected him, Yami still didn't know that much about modern shopping.
As the ancient pharaoh walked into the store, he couldn't help but let his jaw hang on the floor; it was so huge, shelves covered with various goods from top to bottom. Yami figured it would be a good idea to ask around about these microwaves. He quickly located one young woman milling about the produce section and gabbing into a phone.
"Excuse me, but could you locate for me the place that all the microwaves are held?"
The young woman looked annoyed that this weirdo was interrupting her conversation, and she pointed to the left of her general direction. She shot Yami another glare before he raced off. Since Yami had been expecting microwaves, he wore a triumphant smirk. Except, it was the wrong isle and he ended up staring at hallmark cards.
Yami looked confused, picking up the cards out curiosity and placing them back on their places quickly. Since their was no one in the card isle, Yami wandered out of it, poking his head in and out of isles, finally spotting a rather large woman grabbing choice snacks off their isles and plopping them down in her shopping cart.
The woman looked over at him, and eyes widened when she saw his unruly, tricolor hair. "Y-yes?"
"I was hoping you could inform me of where I could locate microwaves."
The woman's fleshy rolls quivered in bewilderment and said "I don't know, I don't work here, so you better ask someone who does." She reluctantly went back to her business as though if she didn't keep an eye on him he would pounce.
"I see, thank you." Yami lowered his eyes and noticed her cart, and it gave him an idea.
Yami noticed a unattended cart, filled with products. Trying to move as stealthily as he possibly could, he sidled up next to the cart; the way his eyes darted around was almost comical, as was when he pushed the cart speedily away. The frighteningly obese woman just shook her head and muttered about crazy people, as she watched the spike-haired boy clearly make off with a cart.
Yami was still sprinting, both cart and teenager zipping through isles, actually passing an employee. Yami made hard turn into the baby care section and began unloading his cart, placing random products onto the shelves as quickly as he possibly could. A mom with two little kids turned around to stare as Yami put a ipod cover next to a Gerber jar.
When Yami finally turned around he noticed the mom and her kiddies; he tried to smile, he hoped in a non-scary way to her little kids. It didn't work; the mom pulled them behind her.
"I suppose you don't work here?" Yami questioned.
All he got in answer was a curt shake of the head. Yami adjusted his cart and dashed off again. This time he ended up in electronics, thinking he had finally found the right section.
Spotting a teenage boy in grunge clothes and a bad haircut, Yami pushed the cart towards the kid; he didn't think he worked there, but he'd ask anyway.
" Do you work here?" the straightforward ex-ruler asked.
The boy sensed an opportunity for fun and said yes, which surprised Yami, but he didn't press the matter as the boy gave specific directions on microwaves. Pleased on how things were turning out, Yami thanked the grungy boy profusely and happily sped off. The boy sniggered to himself thinking that a toaster would match nicely with a microwave and walked off. Yami realized none too late that he had been duped, since he didn't see any microwaves at all. Luckily or unluckily, a real employee of the store found him.
"Can I help you?" She asked in a heavily accented voice.
Yami's eyes brightened "Yes please, could you tell me where the microwaves are kept?" he asked hurriedly. The store clerk just looked confused.
"I said microwaves, where do you put them?"
"Microwaves, have you seen them?"
"Vicrocages?" She gave him a strange look.
Yami gave here an even stranger look, obviously her Japanese was a bit lacking. He decided to try a different tactic. Her held his arms out a foot apart, talking about sizes. Which apparently gave her a completely different idea, so he decided to try to described what they did.
Which didn't work out so well at all since he didn't quite understand what they did. It also wasn't a good idea to tell her that they could set stuff on fire… Yami gave up soon after and wheeled away.
He supposed he would have to find where these elusive microwaves resided on his own. With a shake of his head, he continued onward and glanced through isles, until one in particular caught his eye. The candy isle.
Candy. Unbeknownst to most, the usually stoic and brave ex-ruler of Egypt had a almost frighteningly large sweet tooth. Sugar was the one thing Yugi wished he had never introduced to his yami. Yami just grabbed bunches of candy off the shelves, quickly filling the cart ridiculously.
His shifty eyes met another bewildered customer's. The other customer just stared, making Yami give a loud and rather melodramatic gasp. The customer took a couple steps back. Yami quickly pushed himself out of the isle.
He went on this way for a while, zipping into random isles and freaking out other customers. In one particular isle (this one contained mirrors and clocks) he made a rather hard turn, knocking several items off their shelves. He didn't even bother to stop his cart, or to apologize to the indignant employee.
Said indignant employee called for back up in a manner of speaking, and soon enough, many staff members had heard about the crazy teenager with his even crazier looking hair. Now it was put into Yami's mind that the employee's were some sort of "bad guys". It was no fault of Yami's, he had nothing to compare this experience to. Alright, it probably was his fault a little.
Either way, in his mind he couldn't ask them where they kept their microwaves. Maybe they were trying to trap him in order to bring about a malevolent plan for world domination. Yami bit back another theatrical gasp and pushed his cart faster; maybe if he could only get his momentum stronger….
But suddenly and by some magical chance he stumbled (Well actually he practically overturned the cart into part the isle and decimating it…) into the very section where his beloved microwaves would be. But he'd have to work fast, because the "evil mind slaves" would catch up with him.
The isle was so huge, bulging with its cheap products; which one should he get? Did it even matter? Yami thought that they should all be the same, but then again better safe than sorry. Yami began lifting a varied assortment of microwaves off of the shelves and into the cart.
Just in time-the employees had caught up with him. Yami pushed at the cart like a little kid, occasionally letting his feet ride on the lower rung when momentum allowed, and having to push when he slowed down. But even that wasn't enough-he needed to distract them; good thing he passed a large cage containing giant bouncy balls.
It distracted them so much it was comical, people tripping over themselves and each other; Yami laughed uproariously, and those foolish enough to be in the head of the pursuit, soon had something thrown into their path. But Yami still couldn't get the desired speed.
Yami got an idea- he ran as fast as his legs could carry him; he felt like a blur, and then he pitched himself forward and into the cart itself. People jumped quickly out of the way when they saw they the shopping cart hurtling towards them. Especially when its passenger was hurling jumbo-sized bags of candy at the employees. Unfortunately, Yami's aim left something to be desired.
The exit was in sight-it came forward faster than Yami expected-and then-Yes! He was free! Never mind the cars (Yami always thought those things were weird.) sitting idly in the monstrously huge parking lot. He was home free!
Some of the staff who were bold enough to follow the ancient pharaoh, stared in utter disbelief that a…um teenager?(who needed something or was on something they thought)had just made off with a dozen microwaves.
"Um….should we call somebody.?" asked a cashier girl who had seen the spectacle.
"Uhh, maybe we'll just let it go?" another employee replied confusedly.
They all just stared at Yami's shrinking figure(he was cackling in such a way that Bakura would have turned green with envy.) as he rode off in a stolen shopping cart.
Wow, it was dark already Yami thought. Interesting, he wondered just how long he was away. Was there some sort of time warp effect on people who shopped there? Anything was possible, who knew with evil, megalomaniac corporations bent on world domination. He's have to tell Yugi to be more careful next time.
Well look at that, he had slowed down right in front of the Kame Game Shop, and like magic Yugi appeared. He had yanked the door open with such a vehement force, its little greeting bell at the top of the door rang shrilly; to Yami, its cheerful gangling sounding like it was mocking him.
"Where have you been?!" Yugi yelled, with tears prickling at his eyes; Yami had been gone for hours, and he hadn't said a word about it.
Yami had the decency to look sheepish, and he gestured towards the stack of microwaves.
Suddenly, Yugi's eyes softened in understanding at the gesture he found to be very sweet. He went over to help Yami unload the cart.
"Uh, why'd you get so many of them?"
"…um.. You'd never believe it."
AN: Whaddya think? Well I thought this was funny, did you? R&R folks, have a good one.