Oneshot written for Raggedy/Funderful/Whatever she wants to name herself on the intertubes. Title is in German because, fun fact, I'm PURE GERMAN GIRL. And you know, Ryou and Bakura and Yuugiou just have so many German undertones. First person through Ryou's point of view. Also, I didn't know what genre to put this under. Blah.
And for some reason, sent out like 2o notifications saying that I wrote this. Sorry for spamming your inbox.
All my life, I've always wanted to have control. I've wanted to step out of my quiet spot in the corner into the light where everybody knew who I was. I've wanted power, never anymore the polite boy I always have been. But I was childish, and my childhood dreams were unrealistic. A fireman, a nurse, a teacher, my classmates had said when they had been asked what they wanted to be when they grew up. Noticed, is what I had said. Maybe I had just been naïve. Or maybe I had just gilded myself from the truth that I would never obtain the attention and control I had always craved.
Until I met him.
He came to me easily enough, through soft whispers and nudges in my mind. Soft enough that his barely legible words could be ignored. But he did not speak in words. He spoke through thoughts and emotions, ideas and visions of what he wanted me to do. He spoke through my mind, and through the ring which bound us together. Together. Together, we were one. And he helped me transcend to what I had always wanted.
I had been scared of course. I mean, who wouldn't have been? Originally I had pushed aside the voices with the excuse that I was going crazy. A schizophrenic. But it was easy enough to ignore and excuse the thing inside me that told me to do such horrible things. It was not as easy to face it as the thing that it was. And what it was, was the source of everything I had ever aspired to.
A spirit locked away inside of a cryptic artifact was what he had said. That was easy enough to grasp, although it sounded like something that had come straight from the pages of a fairy tale. Or a nightmare. We couldn't exactly see each other, and our relationship came along gradually. Although we shared the same body, I, as his host, and he as the parasite, I was not so surprised to see that our goals were the similar as well.
He wanted revenge onto the Pharaoh for the atrocities that had been committed to him in the past, but his memory was shaky. What drove him was the underlying force of want, of instinct. His voice was smooth, languid, and his laugh easily sent shivers down my spine. I listened through it all, through his explanations and initial greeting. Fate was what brought us together, and the first time that I put on the Ring and he came to me, I began to feel the tingling of change.
Change for the worse, and change for the better.
Life was dull, never changing, and nothing new. Using my last name as a misnomer since he had none to call his own, Bakura was always with me. In school he was there. He hated humans. He would scoff and sneer at my teachers and classmates, calling them unworthy and unneeded of my attention and of the world. They were below him, and he was better then they were, he said. He said that society had ruined them and melded them into the hallow shells of humans. No goals, no aspirations other then the conformity of society's acceptance. They were below him, and eventually, they came to grow to be below me, as well. Because with Bakura, he opened my eyes to the world. He taught me much more then my teachers ever could. And with that, I came to realize that all of what he said was true. I was above them. I was superior.
But even if I was highly more important then the rest of them, they still held my attention. My friends, my teachers, my schoolwork. All of them took up time. Took up time that Bakura said that was his and his alone. He wanted my attention, my complete mind focused solely on him, and it was just something that I couldn't do. If I ever planned on succeeding and reaching my goals, I had to build upon my resume of interactions, and couldn't be there to entertain him all the time.
I began to lock him away as I went to school, locked in the back of our mind so that he could not speak or see. He was my captive in the day time. That was the first taste of control that I ever had. And that was when he learned to control me in return. Give and take. And his rent for using my body came in the form of little figurines.
Periodically, I would black out, lose my memory, later learning that it was Bakura who had taken over my mind and body, forcing me into the cage that I had put him in. Later I would awake to find the cold metal of a Monster World figurine clenched in my hand. They would always resemble the faces of my classmates.
'You can't even begin to imagine how much you mean to me.'
He wanted my attention. He wanted me to notice him more not just as the somewhat dominant one in our mind, but as something else. I was confused as to what. It had initially scared me, and briefly I had rejected him when he started to seal the souls of my classmates into the figures. I threw the Ring away, terrified of him. If he did that to them, what would he do to me?
But we were connected, one, and he could never leave me.
Depressed and unmotivated, my life returned to its unoriginal routine. Without Bakura, I had nothing. With his absence, a part of my soul was gone as well. I was unable to think as I used to. The control that he allowed me to feel over my life was now gone as I transferred to Domino High School. I hated myself, and I hated others. I hated myself for being scared of him, for leaving him, and giving up the one and only chance of power that I had begun to have. And I hated others for being happy when I was in such a state. I hated Yuugi Moutou, and all of his friends… my friends.
I wanted him back. I wanted the sound of his voice and the way that it seemed he could hold me even when his body was not palpable. I wanted him and I needed him. And realizing and admitting it was what brought us back together. Waking up on a warm Saturday morning, I felt the coldness of the metal ring against my chest, and the heaviness of his soul in my mind.
'I missed you. I needed you.'
We understood each other in a way that nobody else ever could. He understood me, listened to me, and knew my life better then the one he knew he used to have. Without me, he would live in a permanent pause inside of the ring. He wanted life and revenge. And so did I. He understood my loneliness and I understood his. We complimented each other. We completed each other. And that's when we began to plot.
'Let's kill the Pharaoh.' It was his favorite topic.
Once again I allowed him to reside awake inside of my mind when I went to school. I let him see the vessel of the Pharaoh, Yuugi Moutou. I let him make comments inside of our mind about his stature. And I could feel his hatred and excitement when he saw the puzzle that was looped around his neck. My outside appearance was always a polite and soft smile when I greeted Yuugi Moutou. My inside self plotted with lurid excitement.
Because Bakura had told me what would happen when he killed the Pharaoh that rested in Yuugi's puzzle just as Bakura stayed inside my ring. Absolute power. Absolute control. Unshakable dominance over the world and the human race. My heart had beat fast as he told me this. And it was then that I fully agreed to his plans. I would help him kill Yuugi Moutou and take revenge upon the Pharaoh. And when we collected the rest of the items, he promised me the throne of power over the world. He would not betray me.
But I wanted my control earlier. Planning our course of action proved to show the amount of time needed before we ruled over our rightful world. I wanted a taste of control. I wanted a person to bend before my will. I wanted Bakura to bow before me, the very person who had changed my reason for living.
He had learned how to create a complete visual of himself inside our mind, or our Soul Room, as he called it. One that was palpable. It had excited him. He said that he wanted to finally show me his true self, and touch me like he couldn't before. And of course, I agreed. I longed for him.
Our Soul Room was complete white. It was nothingness and everything at the same time. Open to change, because the walls of it were blank. White walls could be written on. And in the very corner of the room, small text had begun to spell itself out. It wrote our desires and our plans, our goals and our history together. But the room had no walls. The text would continue on forever so long as we lived. And that meant one thing: with no end, that meant that there was no death. We would win the senen items.
Stepping into the soft white, I opened my eyes, seeing him for the first time. I tried to remain calm, collected as I usually was. But how I was on the outside and how I was on the inside were two completely different things. And so I stared at the man before me, my image of him that I had created inside of my head so much different then how he really was, standing before me. Dark skin and light hair was not what I had imagined. Dark eyes and a scar underneath the right. He was somewhat muscular. And he was completely beautiful.
'I've waited for you a long time, Ryou. Just because I'm malicious in my obtainable goals doesn't mean that I'm so in real life.'
And I knew that. I always had. Because I was the more cruel one out of the both of us. He wished only to give revenge onto one person, and hated only them. It was not the same with me. I hated all, and wished to torture the world even after we would win. So biting my lip, I walked slowly at first to him, but I ran when I was only feet away. I wanted to touch him, to feel the person who had changed me so much. And reaching out my hand to make sure that he wouldn't fade away, I touched his skin. His real skin.
It was a complete and total time of union between us. To touch and be touched back by the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. I was shorter then him by a few inches, but he didn't mind, and he held me to him. Because we had grown to be more then just partners in revenge and aspiration. It didn't matter that I was young and that he was… much older. It didn't matter that I had light skin and he had dark skin. It didn't matter that I was the host and that he was the parasite. The only thing that mattered was the fact that we understood each other. And that he loved me. He had told me that he loved me. Bakura was capable of love. But I wasn't so sure that I was.
His arms were warm around me. Everything about him was. Because he was so real. I held him back tight just as he did. And we stayed like that for a long, long while. I didn't say anything back. Because just as he spoke to me through our mind… we didn't need words. And he didn't need to ask me permission when he kissed me. We both wanted it mutually.
And he understood everything when I took the kiss over, when I became the dominant one. We understood each other. He understood my craving for power, and the idea that it could never be satisfied when it started.
Bakura had been my first in two ways. One, through sex when he willingly gave in underneath me, and the other through power. He was the first person that I had ever fully controlled. And because of this, something had changed before us. It was fact of completeness. I no longer felt complete with him. I was complete with him. And I would never throw him away again.
Time was endless in the Soul Room, but we had to part. We had to return to our set positions, I in control of the body, and him as the supporter and whisperer in our mind. Waking up to myself in bed, I rubbed my eyes and blinked at the sun that had come up. Sitting up, I looked down as the spikes of the rings clinked against each other on my naked chest.
The ring was only the gateway. It was only the control mechanism for our ability to interact. But it was not what held us together. What made us one was our shared mind. Our shared understanding. Our shared love. I, Ryou Bakura, was capable of love.
And so with great enthusiasm, I got ready for the day. Picking up my book bag and swinging it over my shoulder, I opened my front door and stepped out into the light, knowing that the words on the wall of our Soul Room had started to write the history that would take place today, the day that we planned to finally kill the Pharaoh.
And finally, I would have complete control.
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