This is the home of all HP challenges that I take from HPFC (which is amazing, just so you know) excepting serial challenges.

Warning: not my usual fair... alcohol abuse, randomness, and spoilers!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JKR and affiliates of which I am not one. Written for Megsy42's Random Character Challenge on HPFC

Features: Random!Luna, Pissy!Pansy

Is That a Nargle or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

The Hog's Head is a very well known pub in a very well known hamlet known as Hogsmeade near a very well known school known as Hogwarts. It is a haven to many of the Wizarding World's darker beings who are in the area and want to sit down with a bottle of firewhiskey and drown their sorrows like any other sentient being without being gawked at by passerby in the Leaky Cauldron in London or at the Three Broomsticks just down the road. Really, they got far too much of that even in Knockturn Alley. They didn't need more of the same!

When one thinks of the Hog's Head, they tend to think of hags getting wasted or people on secretive business being secretive.

They do not, however, think of one Luna Lovegood, editor of the Quibbler, friend to Harry Potter, warrior of the Final Battle, and all around crazy person dancing on a table performing high kicks and generally drawing attention to herself. Not that Luna didn't always draw attention to herself, but she had even ordered a drink yet!

"Get off the bloody table before I hex you off!" Of course, Luna couldn't be dancing on an unoccupied table, no Sirry Bob! She picked the table of the person in the pub who had the hardest scowl, the biggest chip on their shoulder, the whole she-bang. The fact that they had gone to school together – Luna being a year younger than the other person – only made it all the more Luna-esque because, really, coincidences were created by the Humdingers, and there was no point in denying them now was there?

Luna had entered the pub, promptly hopped upon a seemingly random table, and started doing a strange mix between the can-can, the electric slide, the cabbage patch, and the bus driver that was driving the occupant of the table positively batty. Pansy Parkinson did not like muggle things or batty blondes. Bratty blondes were fine, her best friend – Daphne Greengrass – was one, as was the object of her affections – Draco Malfoy – but the difference between being a batty blonde and a bratty blonde was far greater than the difference in their spelling.

With one final high kick and a jerk of her arm to signal that the bus was full, Luna finally stopped standing on table and was instead sitting on it, criss-cross (which was odd, because she was wearing a skirt, but at least it was a long skirt). Wide blue eyes stared into Pansy's glaring brown for almost a full minute before Luna finally blinked.

"Did you know that there was a nargle in your hair? You're lucky I knew how to do that dance, you know," Luna stated with an airy tone of something indescribable because, really, when was something Luna did considered within the realms of human comprehension. "It was nesting, but it's gone now."

"Fantastic," Pansy drawled before slamming back the shot of firewhiskey in her glass and letting a stream of smoke blow straight into the ex-Ravenclaw's face. "Go away now."

Instead, Luna leaned closer and started to inspect Pansy's face. Well, Pansy wasn't exactly at her best – Draco was getting married to her best friend's bitch of a sister tomorrow after all – but she didn't deserve the scrutiny. Nor was she going to back down.

"No," was all Luna said in that wistful voice of hers as she continued to stare down the slightly-older girl.

When Luna returned home for the evening, her husband Rolf was rather shocked. Her top was ripped, her skirt missing at least half, and a trickle of blood was running down her face from her hairline. Really, he'd trained himself to not notice when Luna did something odd – he wasn't exactly normal either, but Luna was further around the bend than he – and then this sort of thing happens!

When he asked what had happened she simply pulled something from her hair – an invisible something – and asked in an ever-so-sweet voice, "Is that a nargle in your hair or are you just happy to see me?"

Meanwhile, Pansy Parkinson was sitting in an alleyway learning precisely why nargles were a bad thing.

Author's Note: Um... wow? Not quite sure how that happened. Basically, Pansy got pissed off (not good since she was already piss drunk) and attacked Luna who then returned home. I don't have any idea how this happened at all. Really.