Happy Birthday Jazz! Hope this meets your expectations!
Prompts: magazines, nail polish, kunai-candy
Aburame Shibi was special.
He was the only person in his generation to be able to be inside a wild and crazy night club—filled to the brim with very attractive young women and appetizing alcoholic beverages—and be completely apathetic.
One might disagree with him and say that there were others who were capable of such apathy, but he highly disagreed.
First, the Hyuuga twins never went out, so their capabilities couldn't be tested.
Second, Nara Shikato slept all the time, so it was less of a matter that he didn't care and much more of a matter that he wasn't aware.
Uchiha Fugaku had shown promise earlier in the evening, but that was before an intoxicated Mikoto 'persuaded' him to taste some liquor, and the second the minimal amount of alcohol relaxed the Uchiha, had pounced him. So he got knocked well out of running.
Shibi looked out of the corner of his eyes (not that anyone could tell) at the red-headed girl who had just dragged up a chair to sit besides him, but did not respond.
Not that Uzumaki Kushina actually needed a reason to start ranting about whatever was on her mind.
"Why haven't you danced yet?" She demanded, one hand clutching some lime green beverage, the other around his shoulders. Shibi vaguely considered asking his bugs for help, but then remembered that Kushina was not like other girls.
She wouldn't scream and run in the opposite direction.
If anything, she would probably try to squeeze gossip out of them.
Which really wasn't as strange as it sounded.
His bugs heard all. And told all.
But since he was an Aburame, he never bothered to tell anyone. And after the fiasco that occurred when he had mentioned Yoshino's crush on Shikato to Inoichi that one time, Shibi was quite determined to keep such tidbits to himself.
"I don't like dancing." He answered, still not turning to face her.
"Why not?" She demanded, frowning at Shibi. "You can't be at a nightclub and not dance, get drunk, or get laid!" Kushina failed to notice him twitch slightly, so she continued, "And you really can't not dance on your own birthday! It's your party, for Kami's sake!"
"I didn't exactly sanctify this event." He replied stoically. The twinge of annoyance he had been feeling since he had arrived was starting to grow. Why was it that everyone assumed he had wanted to be kidnapped during his nightly meditation routine by crazed yearmates, dragged halfway across Konoha, and forced to behave socially? "Your boyfriend did."
"Minato?" The corners of her red-painted lips turned down, and she scowled. "When will people get it—he's not my boyfriend."
"If you say so." said Shibi, not really interested in any kind of explanation.
Unfortunately, by uttering that simple comment, he had inadvertently given Kushina permission to rant, which she proceeded to do with great vigor.
"I damn well say so! I mean, Minato's a complete moron of the third degree! Why people even think we're compatible is beyond me. I mean, all of the flirting is on his side, not mine! And it's not even good flirting. No, he uses pick-up lines which he probably got from some weird guys' dating magazines! He stalks me, do you know that? Stalks me! Everywhere I go! Even the bath house! Gross!" she let out an indignant huff, breathing heavily.
"Minato doesn't mean to be mean-spirited." Despite his annoyance with the blond at the moment, Shibi couldn't help but feel some sympathy for him. Shibi had never suffered unrequited love for anyone before, and the only experience he had (with Tsume; he had barely made out of the relationship in one piece) wasn't especially informative. But it certainly didn't sound very pleasant.
Kushina shrugged, "Maybe not. The only real reason I haven't completely pummeled him to the dust yet is because he's good kunai-candy."
"… 'kunai-candy'?" Shibi repeated, raising an eyebrow.
"Yoshino made it up," explained Kushina, "Basically, it refers to any guy I train with. Like 'eye candy', you know. 'Cept instead of attracting my eyes, he attracts my kunai." She looked oddly pleased with herself, and took a long draught of her alcohol.
"…That makes no sense." Shibi rolled his eyes behind his glasses. Girls. Go figure.
For a few, peaceful minutes they sat together in silence, Kushina sipping her drink, Shibi listening to his insects.
Someone came up in front of them, and Shibi looked up into the harassed countenance of Uchiha Fugaku. In his arms he was holding a giggling, drunk Mikoto, face flushed and eyes half-closed.
"What's up Fugaku?" asked Kushina, curious.
"I'm leaving. Mikoto's about to pass out any second, so I'm going to make sure she gets home safely. Would you mind making sure Minato doesn't get himself killed?"
"So long as you're responsible and use protection." said Kushina, smirking and leaning even more onto Shibi. Fugaku turned a little pink but didn't respond. With a nod to Shibi, he departed, gingerly holding the girl in his arms.
"You might want to cover those hickeys, too!" Kushina called to his retreating back. When the Uchiha had disappeared from view, she let out a quiet sigh and rested her head on Shibi's shoulder. "Mikoto's so lucky."
"…?" Shibi looked at her inquiringly, a little surprised at her sudden mopiness.
"I mean, Fugaku's an ass at times, but he's generally a nice, quiet guy. Not that Minato isn't, but…" she sighed again.
"Maybe I should take a leaf out her book. Find some silent, stoic mister to call my own…" she abruptly stopped talking, and the head on his shoulder shifted to smile flirtatiously up into Shibi's face.
"Say Shibi-kun, need a girlfriend?"
Shibi was unsure whether he would blush or look away. Instead, he pulled his collar up a little higher, so even less of his face was revealed.
"Didn't think so." Kushina laughed abruptedly and removed her head from his shoulder. "By the way, here's your birthday present." Sitting up, she fished into one of her pockets and withdrew…
Shibi raised an eyebrow.
Kushina nodded happily. "Yep. Onyx, it's totally your color." She handed him the bottle. Shibi stared at it, and at the bright, perky pink little bow tied around the cap.
"…Thank you." He said, fingers closing around the bottle and slipping it into his own pocket. Kushina practically glowed with pleasure.
"You're very welcome. Want to dance?"
He shook his head.
"Are you sure?"
"I'll be fine. You can go ahead."
"Are you sure you're sure?"
"Just checking." She set her glass on the table next to her. "Let me know if you change your mind." She winked at him before slipping off into the crowd, yet still close enough for him to have a clear view of her.
Shibi was content to watch.