I finally get out the sequel to Good Morning Bella! Ha. This was just as much fun to write, so thanks for reading it and tolerating my bizarre sense of humor! Haha.
But in other news, this will be my last one shot until I start my new chapter story which should be coming soon! I want to write most of it before I post because school has started again and stuff.
READ GOOD MORNING BELLA FIRST OR THIS WILL NOT MAKE SENSE
Good Night Bella
I could not believe my luck.
Last Thursday, when we had gotten Bella drunk, it was by far one of the most enjoyable nights of my entire life. Bella was the funniest human I knew to begin with, but give her a little alcohol and her entertainment value increased about ten fold.
And now I had just been informed that Bella's transformation was going to be put off for another week, due to Carlisle's legal ability to get the proper amount of morphine. Edward wasn't complaining though, and surprisingly, neither was Bella because they were so caught up in their new favorite pastime.
Ever since their wedding night, they had both become addicts and their night activities would even put Rose and I to shame.
But none of that is what mattered to me at the moment. I had my mind on more pressing issues.
Grinning wickedly, I paced the length of our driveway, knowing full and well that Bella's ugly truck was about to come bumbling down the street and pull in and my thoughts were consumed with one thing. I had another opportunity for 'Thirsty Thursday' and I would be damned if I wasn't going to take it! The only drawback would be…trying to convince Bella.
Her big red truck finally came into view, and just as she was about to turn in, I sprang out from behind a tree and flew across the hood of her car. I heard her scream and slam on the brakes, swerving slightly and just narrowly missing the cluster of bushes that dotted the drive.
Her heartbeat picked up instantly and started sputtering at an erratic pace. Her hands were tightly gripping the steering wheel and her eyes were wide with shock. Instead of talking, I kept a blank face as I slowly brought my hand around to my back pocket and pulled the bottle of Jack Daniels out, bringing it into her line of vision.
She began shaking her head back and forth in earnest. "Oh-hohoho no," she laughed without humor, "Emmett Cullen you get away from me with that thing!"
I knew this was coming, and I was prepared.
"But Bellaaaaaa!" I whined, "There is a party waiting for you right now inside the house! Alice wanted to give you one more chance to say goodbye to all your friends, since you and Edward basically disappeared after you said the vows. She is calling it a post wedding, pre bite celebration if you will."
Bella's eyes were getting angrier with each word that came out of my mouth.
"She wouldn't," I heard her mutter. "How could she do this to me?! Is she seriously going to throw me another party after I let her plan the entire wedding!?"
"Don't you want to….loosen up a bit before you see everyone?"
An irate expression crossed her face, and this time I knew it wasn't because of me. She was mad at Alice.
I smelt victory, and watched as without words, Bella leaned over and opened the passenger side door for me to get in.
Half Hour Later.
Bella crossed the threshold and entered the living room, completely drunk and wobbling slightly. She couldn't see a thing with the blindfold I had put on her, her party was supposed to be a surprise after all. I took a quick moment to note all of the people standing quietly in the living room, friends and other students that had some connection to my new sister. I took a fleeting look toward Edward, and stifled a laugh at his clenched jaw and fuming expression. He was glowering at me as if he were imagining my death.
He obviously could tell Bella was drunk.
"Where am I?" Bella suddenly shouted, breaking the silence of the room. She couldn't see a thing with that blindfold. I chuckled, making sure my hand was securely on her back as I lead her in.
She put her hands out in front of her and started trying to blindly feel her way around. Before I could stop her, her fingers landed squarely on Jessica Stanley's face.
"What is that?!" the blind Bella asked loudly, sounding somewhat disgusted as she pressed her fingertips firmly into Jessica's forehead and cheekbones. "What is this I'm touching?? The outside of a house??"
Edward, Jasper, and Alice's mouths fell open in complete shock, while Rosalie snorted loudly, putting a hand up to her face to try and quiet her giggles.
Bella whipped off her blindfold and swirled it in the air above her head before tossing it carelessly behind her. Jessica, who had turned a bright pink from either anger or embarrassment, was glaring at her, her lips tightly pursed. But Bella ignored her and stumbled in front of Mike who was standing right behind her, his eyebrows raised in surprised alarm.
"What up gangsta!" she shouted, holding out a fist for him to pound, which he did… awkwardly. "What brings you to our humble abode?"
"Shut up." Bella said, just as Mike had opened his mouth to answer.
I couldn't help but laugh at the look on his face. But it quickly turned into a grimace as Edward snuck up behind me and discreetly punched me in my lower back.
Bella walked away from a shocked Mike and went to go stand in front of Lauren.
"Em!" Bella said brightly, clasping her hands together. "You didn't tell me you invited strippers!" Lauren gasped and her hand flew to her chest as she stumbled back, astounded.
That did Rosalie and Jasper in and I saw them both retreat to the corner of the room where they could openly laugh without being seen. But I guess it was too much for Edward at this point because he stepped in and grabbed Bella securely by the waist, stepping painfully on my foot as he walked past.
"It seems that Bella has had a little bit to drink before she came," crooned Edward, unintentionally dazzling Lauren with his smoldering gaze. "She isn't coherent and doesn't know what she's saying."
Bella laughed slowly and put a condescending hand on her husband's chest, then looked back at Lauren.
"If that's what you want to believe Whoren," chuckled Bella, flipping her hair and smiling viciously before skipping away.
Edward groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as he followed his new wife, who was now jumping up to the side and bumping her heels together. But before she could greet anyone else, the doorbell rang, and after sniffing the air loudly, Bella ran to answer it.
"PIZZA!" she cried as she swung open the door. Edward immediately ran over to help her grab all the boxes before she assaulted the delivery guy. Edward took the bulk but I watched Bella secretly grab the bottom box and run toward the stairs.
Edward didn't notice because he was pulling out his wallet, but I gazed at her in amusement when she took off one of her sneakers and slipped it into the box.
"Ex-cuse me!" Bella said in a serious voice, her hand on her hip as she marched angrily toward the door. "But there is a shoe in my pizza." She pointed at her white sneaker that was sitting in the middle of the box.
The delivery guy blinked and looked down to where she was pointing, then down to Bella's obvious socked foot. Edward laughed nervously and quickly grabbed the box from her hands.
"Is this your idea of a sick joke?! I did not order a shoe!' Bella seethed through her teeth, poking the guy in the chest. "I refuse to pay for this!"
The delivery guy just stood there in silent shock, not knowing what to do. His face was not amused as he looked toward Edward, who at that moment thrust a multitude of bills in his hand and practically forced him out the door.
"You're disgusting!!" Bella screamed to his retreating back. "Never darken our doorstep with your sick twisted mind ever again!"
Once the door closed, Bella turned around and appraised everyone in the room, rubbing her hands together and grinning evilly. She reached down for the pizza and when she opened the top, she squealed in delight.
"OH.MY.GOD I've been looking for this shoe!" she laughed happily, standing up and giving Edward a sloppy kiss on his cheek. "I must have left it back at the pizza place last month."
My siblings and I roared with laughter while the rest of the room seemed frozen to silence, obviously not appreciating the sheer quality of a drunk Bella.
She plopped down on the floor and took a massive bite of pizza, looked up mid chew and said, "Hey Mike!" When she had his attention, she opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue, showing off her mouth full of food. "Do you still want me now!?"
Rosalie cackled loudly, her hand on her stomach as she went to stand in the middle of the room. "Well?" she snapped. "What's everyone waiting for? Eat!"
I watched everyone scramble to get a slice from Edward, who looked livid beyond words.
"I'm going to kill you," said Edward softly so the humans couldn't hear. "I am going to seriously kill you." He had a sickening smile on his face as he stood watch over Bella, who was licking a trail of grease that had run down the back of her hand. I didn't look forward to having to face him later, but as I watched Bella scramble to her feet I knew that it was worth it.
"Go Bel-la, it's ya birthday!" She started chanting, leaning her shoulder shoulder down, limping her leg and waving one hand in the air as she walked over to the stereo. She fumbled through the CD's for a second, and then finally decided on Michael Jackson's Thriller.
The eerie sound came blasting into the living room and Bella eyes became wide and she brought her hands up in front of her, her fingers shaped like claws. She then began walking around the living room, swinging her arms and switching directions just like Michael did in the video.
She weaved her way throughout everyone in the party, and all the humans could do was watch and try and get out of her way. When the chorus started, she began belting out the lyrics in a loud voice, still creeping around the room. I saw Alice quickly run upstairs, only to return a moment later with a large karaoke machine.
Bella spotted it automatically and pumped her fist in the air. A couple of the humans ran over to grab the microphone, but Bella hissed at them, sounding almost identical to a cat.
"Back off!" she snapped loudly, clutching the karaoke machine to her chest as she side stepped everyone to get to the front of the living room. She bent down to plug it in and then took a few seconds to pick her song.
She cleared her throat into the microphone and the sound echoed throughout the entire house.
"I would like to dedicate this song…to my fine ass husband Edward. And as a matter of fact, I would like him to come up and sing with me."
Despite being as angry as he was, I saw his face soften as he smiled upon his wife and without a thought, he went up to the front of the room to join her. I knew he would. Everyone turned to face them, and Bella suddenly became deathly serious.
"Alice, hit the lights."
She looked out into the crowd and did a snap-point of her fingers. "Rosie. Camera. Pronto."
Then she turned to me, "Em, jack and coke on the rocks. Make it snappy."
I was just about to sneak off and get her that drink, but Edward's murderous glare stopped me dead in my tracks.
The next moment the lights were dimmed and Bella had turned her back away from the audience, while Edward just stood at her side, their fingers interlaced. Her foot was lightly tapping on the ground and her hand snapping to an unknown beat. She suddenly spun around, her hair splayed across her face. Edward chuckled, but when he looked down toward the screen, I saw him become slightly nervous. But Bella paid no heed and started barking out the lyrics.
"If I should die before I wake
It's cuz you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air!"
To everyone else it sounded like a normal song, but I knew exactly why Bella had picked it. Edward shuffled his feet and shook his head, but not wanting to disappoint Bella, he sang right along with the guy's part of the song.
"I'm here alone, didn't want to leave
My heart will move to see you bleed
If there was a way that I could make you understand…"
All the humans watched with interest, most probably entranced by Edward's voice. But when the chorus came on, I absolutely lost it and people were starting to stare at me.
"Tell me how I'm supposed to breath with no air!
Can't live can't breathe with no air!
That's how I feel when I know you're not there!
There's no air, no air!"
Once the song ended, everyone started awkwardly clapping. I was still laughing at the lyrics. Well, that is until Carlisle and Esme walked in, and it didn't take them long to figure out that Bella was drunk.
Carlisle immediately shot me a glance and I pouted. Why did I get blamed all the time!? I walked over to Rose, wrapping my arms around her waist for comfort.
"Because it's you're fault!" she hissed, seemingly reading my thoughts.
Still pouting in her embrace, I watched as Carlisle and Esme effortlessly ended the party and sent people one by one out the door.
"Did you get everything on tape?" I asked out loud to no one in particular.
Edward shot me a smoldering look of red fury.
Bella was perched happily on his lap, yelling out goodbyes and throwing out gang signs to her retreating friends.
Once everyone was gone, Bella seemingly got a second wind, and before anyone could react, she bolted out the door.
To say that was the strangest party I had ever been to would be an understatement. I had never seen Bella so…so…
I immediately slammed on the brakes, watching in shock as Bella's figure rolled on top of my windshield, her body tucked together in a tight ball.
"HOLY SHIT!" I shouted, grabbing the wheel and trying to stop my car from colliding with the trees that laced the drive. I heard her body come to a complete stop on the roof of my car. My heart was pounding so hard that I could barely breathe. What if I had killed her!? Just as I was about to open the door and get out, I saw the top of her head, then her two eyes slowly lowering down to look at me through the window.
She grinned mischievously as I stared back in astonishment, frozen in my seat.
She stuck her tongue out and wiggled it once like a snake. "Hello Grandma," she whispered quietly.
My jaw went slack as I searched her face for injuries, while at the same time trying to comprehend her words.
Just then I heard a growl that sounded as if it had come from the depths of hell. One minute Bella was there, the next she was gone. I stood up slowly, on shaky legs to get out of the car.
Edward was a few feet away scanning her body anxiously, his face absolutely panicked.
I started to slink back in my seat, but his eyes caught mine before I could get away.
His eyes flashed as he gripped Bella tightly to his chest. "Get out of here Newton. Now."
My heart skipped a beat. "I swear I didn't see her! She came out of no where Edward I swear!…is…is she okay?"
He didn't answer but growled again, trying to keep hold of Bella while she flopped in his arms like a fish.
"Right..." I cleared my throat and stumbled back into my seat. "Goodnight then…"
Edward frowned. "Just say Good Night Bella, it's time for bed."
Bella grinned, raising her eyebrows and scrunching her nose.
"Good Night Bella!"