By: Depressionist-Obsessionist


Rating: M

Genre: Romance/Humor

Anime: Naruto

Main Pairing: SasuNaruSlight NaruSaku at the beginning

OneSided Pairings: NaruSaku, SakuSasu.

Main Characters: Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto, and Haruno Sakura

Dedicated to: … Sasuke! His b-day passed on the 23rd of July, so this is an early Birthday present!


Warnings: Yaoi, Whore! Sakura, Sakura Bashing, Pervert! Sasuke.

Summary: SasuNaru While substituting as a marriage advisor for his brother's boyfriend, Sasuke happens to find one of his newest customers fairly, attractive. Thus, he plans to cheat his way into his customer's life.

Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto.

Inspired By: I 'unno.


Authoress' Notes:

Depressionist: … This is another Fanfic. Written in… conjunction with Obsessionist




"Na-Naruto-k-kun, th-this is my r-roommate."

He looked at her for a moment, flashing a bright smile. She was gorgeous. With hair as pink as sakura petals, eyes as green as the leaves on a tree. She was what he saw as the perfect girl. He held out a hand in a friendly gesture, and she shook his hand. Her hand felt as soft as fresh sheets after you wash them in your washing machine. He was appalled by her beauty.

"My name's Uzumaki Naruto," he said. She smiled softly, before blushing prettily. "My name is Haruno Sakura," she replied. Beside him, Naruto's current girlfriend looked slightly uneasy. He didn't pay much attention; he was just so appalled by her beauty. This pink haired, green eyed goddess.

"I do hope I get the pleasure to meet you again, Naruto-kun."


"Damn, I can see why Hinata's so attracted to you."

He laughed at her comment. They were drunk out of their minds, and she was babbling nonsense about her boyfriend, Sai. He admitted he had said a few bad things about Hinata, but nothing like her. "I mean, damn. All Sai does is talk about penises. Seriously, you have a girlfriend, stop behaving like that!" Sakura said. She giggled and burped cutely right after.

He was half certain this was going in a bad direction. How much had she told him to drink? Four bottles of sake? She was already laughing like a silly goose, and he was certain it was way past eleven. His original intention had been to get back to his apartment at nine. It was just a silly get-together, nothing more, nothing less. But, for some reason, with Sakura wearing that gorgeous red blouse and that miniskirt, he felt like he wanted to be near her more.

"Y'know, Naru… you're pretty pleasing to the eye. Much, much more handsome than Sai," Sakura dawdled. He raised an eyebrow, uncertainly. What did she mean? He gasped in surprise when she climbed into his lap, facing 

him. Her hand reached for his tie, as she smiled. "How about it? Forget all about Hinata-chan and… and just think of Sakura, huh?" she asked. He was uncomfortable. What was she saying? What would happen if Hinata came home?

But Sakura pressed her face into his, her nose stroking against his. Her ivory skin against his tanned, the feel of her legs brushing against his thigh. The situation, so hot, so blurry…

"N-Naruto? Sa-Sakura-chan?"


"Hey Kiba, hey Hinata-chan!"

He still got dirty glares from Hinata whenever he came near her and Kiba, but he was sure he was warming up to her. It hadn't been his fault he had fallen in love with Sakura. In time, everyone had begun to accept he was with her.

Sakura flashed Hinata a smirk, before nuzzling Naruto's shoulder, lovingly. "Let's go have a seat, away from Hinata and Kiba, ne Naruto?" she asked. He nodded, calmly, and walked towards the other side of the restaurant. They had been together since that incident. Hinata had moved out of the apartment and into one with Ino the next day and Naruto had accepted he felt something for the pink haired girl.

Once he let Sakura sit, he took a seat from across her. Naturally, he didn't plan on doing that with her. Sakura wasn't anything more than a girlfriend, right now. But from the way it seemed she might just become more. He was almost certain Sakura was the one for him. She had yet to find out about his father, and his family's estates, and she still loved him. It made him smile.

"What'll you have?" he asked. She looked over the menu, and gave him a grin. "You," she answered. He blinked and shrugged it off as her way of romance. "A fat free latè and fries it is," he concluded, and ordered their meals.


"W-will you marry me?"

She looked surprised, her eyes widening. But instantly, she grabbed the ring, bringing it close to her face. He had specially bought a cheap ring, to see if she would say it was bad. He could have bought the most expensive ring on the market, but, being who he is, he didn't want her to know who he was yet. On their wedding, he would reveal who he really was, and he would let her know.

Yes, he was certain.

"Yes, yes. But… but this ring isn't big," she said, frowning. He shrugged. "I just… didn't have the funds. You know how I work for Namikaze Hospitals as just a paper boy," he said. She only frowned more.

"Fine… but I don't think it's big enough."


"Where were you?"

Sakura only shrugged. His blue eyes narrowed. This was unacceptable. "Sakura, it's five at night! You should have been home seven hours ago!" he snarled. She only took a seat at the edge of the table, placing her purse on it. There were white stains on the purse, and her hair was disheveled. He was suspicious. No, he wasn't. He trusted her. But he was worried. What if something had happened to her, his fiancée?

"I was just out, okay? Stop getting worried, Naruto," she said. Her eyes showed clear anger. "But this isn't the first time! The fifth night in a row, Sakura, fifth! You're my bloody fiancée, you should be with me all of the time!" he shouted. But she stuck her tongue out at him, her eyes narrowed in clear unhappiness. "You're always at work for Namikaze. Tell me, are you having an affair with your new employer? Is someone at Namikaze more attractive than Haruno Sakura? Is he?" she asked. He would have replied, he would, but her next words made his words stop.

"Oh, don't tell me. You find Namikaze Minato more attractive than your soon-to-be wife."

He instantly walked over to her and struck her face. Anger poured down his face, giving off the angry illusion it always did.

"You fucking bitch! You know… you're so filthy! I don't even know why I try to reconcile with you, when all you do is screw it over in the end!" he shouted. She stood up, her own hands fisted in anger.

"Yeah well it isn't as if you're any better! Don't you think I've I'm not stupid? You dedicate so much time to your 'work', none to me, ever!"

His eyes widened. Is that what she thought? That he was cheating on her, with someone else? He instantly dropped his head to the ground, hating what he was hearing.


"Look after the place while Kisame and I are 'out of town', Otouto-chan. Make sure you treat customers well. Us Uchiha's have an appearance to keep up, you know?"

He snarled. Stupid, goddamned brother. Why did he have to look after Kisame's business while they were out of town? But no, the great Uchiha Itachi had to watch his brother suffer. With a loud groan, he looked at the papers just faxed into the office. They were from the secretary, Konan.

Newest Couple Arriving Today. Information sheets.

He raised an eyebrow at the names. He wasn't slight bit interested in them, that was for certain. Till he noticed some of the stuff written on it. Konan and her partner, Pain, were both expert detectives. When they were sent an application to a couple, they would normally spy on the couple, get information. Once Kisame got them, he would help them and simply assume some of the issues. In reality, Kisame knew each detail.

Name: Haruno Sakura

Age: 24

Former Occupations: Waitress, Prostitute

Current Occupation: Bar Stripper

Family: Haruno Jinsei Father, Haruno Shia Mother

Disowned from family for prostitution.

Spouse: Fiancé named Uzumaki Naruto.

Main Issues:

Has been missing for many nights, normally says she is working on an important office project. In reality, is with her boyfriend, Suigetsu. Has been continuously cheating on Uzumaki since they began dating. Has yet to tell him of her occupation as a bar stripper.

Name: Uzumaki Naruto

Age: 25

Occupation: Paper boy for Namikaze Hospitals.

Corps in Kyoto City.

Family: Uzumaki Kushina Mother, deceased

He visits his father during weekends, when he says he is normally working.

Spouse: Engaged to Haruno Sakura.

Main Issues:

Uzumaki tends to pay more attention to his work, than Sakura. He rarely suspects her of anything, when she is clearly doing much harm to their relationship. Has yet to introduce her to his father, of whom not much is known.

P.S. It was slightly difficult getting ANY information on Uzumaki Naruto. He seems very secluded on the topic of people following him around.

This would be one hell of an interesting meeting.


Naruto sighed in defeat. Why was he bothering to try and work this out? Sakura had screwed it up. It isn't as if he knows anything about me. This guy must be another stuck up bastard who wants an excuse to get into another persons life.

Sakura, however, tugged his sleeve into the office. She had been dying to come here, and reconcile her relationship. For some reason, she didn't want to let Naruto go. Not while he was so. So damn attractive. Besides, Suigetsu had just lost his job, and she had nowhere to stay, but with Naruto. As soon as she stepped in, her world collapsed.

On the chair was THE Uchiha Sasuke.

She stood, still. Her heartbeat increased, thousand-fold. Her face fell agape. All she could think of was how the fuck such a handsome and rich man had gotten into a small office like this. She quickly straightened herself up. Who knows? I might just get myself some Uchiha cock, seeing as how I can't have any Uzumaki. A smirk made its way to her face, as she looked back at Naruto, who was standing behind her. His face was scrunched into a frown.

I hate the way he's always making faces. Why is he so childish? She stepped forward, waving shyly. "Hello! My name is, Haruno Sakura? My fiancé and I are here to reconcile our marriage, I believe—" she began.

"Yes, yes, I know all about it. Come have a seat."

She took the invitation and leapt onto a chair infront of him, kicking the other chair aside. After flashing him a grin, she looked back at her 'fiancé'. Uzumaki Naruto, you're nothing compared to Uchiha Sasuke.


He hadn't been this, amazed, since he had first seen Orochimaru being beaten by Itachi for trying to touch him. He hadn't been this amazed since, hell, he didn't even know. There was nothing half as beautiful as the man before him.

Blond hair that was as soft (so it seemed) as the breeze. Blue eyes as wild and playful as the ocean. Tanned skin that anyone would just die to touch. What kind of heavenly being had graced the filthy office of Kisame?

Sasuke was just frozen staring at him. This man was a god. He wasn't sure why, or how, but he knew he was done for. That slim body any female would die for, it was perfect! He had no idea why he was suddenly behaving this way. He had been asexual as long as he had known. Why was he reacting this way to someone? As weird as it was, he remembered the Uchiha rules clearly. This one rule was embedded deep into his blood.

Uchiha's get whatever they want, be it a man who is taken, for now.

The blond haired man took a seat in the chair the pink thing had kicked away. His eyes remained on the tanned body he suddenly prayed would be beneath him tonight. God, now I know why Itachi's always luring Kisame away. I need that man, I really do.

"Well, bastard? How do I save my marriage?" the man asked. He smirked at the reply. Though this guy was disrespectful, he couldn't help but smirk. He's absolutely perfect. "Uchiha-san, don't we have personal discussion sessions?" the girl asked.

He snorted. What did she take him for, a whore? He had his eyes on her fiancé. That should make her realize enough. "Yes, normally. But this time, we'll be trying something different," he said. His eyes landed, once more, on Uzumaki Naruto.

"Completely different…"


;;' C.h.a.p.t.e.r.0.1';;

Naruto grumbled as he watched Sakura stand beside the other man. He knew what she planned with this Uchiha guy, and, to say the truth, he was tired. She was always flirting with other men, and he was tired of it. He wasn't sure if there was a marriage to save, they hadn't had one yet. And besides, she wasn't really that good of a girlfriend now.

"I'll take the dobe with me to a restaurant, to see how he behaves on a date with someone else. Kimimaro, tell me what happens on your date with Haruno-san afterwards," he said. Kimimaro, the man that was to take Sakura out, nodded. He was a bit stoic; but he was better than Uchiha. Naruto hated the fact that he couldn't go on a date with someone, more likely a girl. He was straight, after all.

"C'mon, dobe. I booked us seats somewhere."


Ah, how enjoyable.

Though he knew it was dirty, trying to separate a couple of Kisame's for his own use, he was damned happy. He was in a car, with his first crush sitting in the seat beside him, headed to a restaurant. Yes, this might as well be the happiest moment of his uneventful life.

Sasuke almost, almost cackled. That pink thing had no idea she was about to lose the brightest thing in her life. Meanwhile, Kimimaro was instructed to slowly lead her away from Naruto. I'm catching the Itachi-factor. He was certain he could woo the blond into his life. Simple. Everyone falls for me. Even when I'm trying my hardest not to have them in my pants. So, with me actually trying.

Oh, this would be fun.

He watched as the blond looked out the window, his eyes sorrowful in memory of the pink thing he was in love with. Oh don't worry, Sunshine, you'll soon be in an Uchiha's arms, writhing, moaning. The blond raised a hand, nervously, to his hair, where he stroked it in worry. Oh how nice it would feel to run his own hand through that soft hair. Sasuke was certain his Uchiha Fan-embedded blue silk robes would look delectable on the blond man. He was as excited as hell.

"Well, Teme? How long till we're at this place? We're not going to some cheap café are we?" Naruto asked. He grunted at the nonchalant question. "I have class, dobe. We're going to a hotel owned by one of my father's business partners. It is the finest place in all of Tokyo," he said. For a moment, the blond dropped his jaw. Oopse. Did I say that aloud? Looks like part two of 'kick-Sakura-out-and-welcome-Sasuke' has been revealed. "No way, bastard! I'm engaged, and I have a fiancé! I can't be in a hotel with another person while I'm in a relationship!" the other shouted.

Sasuke tuned his voice out by imagining all of the delicious positions he could have with the blond. Imagine the possibilities! "Uchiha-teme! I'm not going into any hotel, especially not with a bastard like-"

"Naruto-san, what are you doing here to early? You're not due here for another three months."

Naruto, at that moment, sputtered on nothing, and slammed his head against the front of the car. This, in turn, released the mechanism known as the air bag. Sasuke didn't realize it before the car bursted into a big bubble.


Naruto blinked open one eye, not knowing where he was.

He had this horrid, horrid dream. He had this dream, that he had been in the car with a dumb marriage councilor hired by Sakura, and the guy had come to the hotel he stayed in when his father visited. He had dreamed this, and he had been scared shitless. Then, again, he had another dream right after. And in that one, Sakura had come home late, again, but this time, she hadn't left home.

She was in bed with another man.

He had felt his heartbeat speed up, and his body go numb. He was so scared. But there was a part of his mind that warned him he should have expected this. He was reminded, over and over, of when they had first begun talking. She had been with Sai Nemuri, a painter of great excellence. But then, she had come onto him. She had cheated on Sai, with him.

He sighed, heavily. Who was to say she might be cheating on him too? With that Kimimaro guy? Or with her friend Suigetsu? Maybe even with the moronic teme that he had seen in his dream. He chuckled. Ironic, wouldn't it be? She was so beautiful, any man would want her. While he was just plain old Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto. Even if he was the son of a famous doctor, a doctor himself, she wouldn't care.

"Awake at last, dobe?"

He looked over at the voice. Only to find his mouth agape, again.



Sasuke smirked at the cute expression on the blond's face. He had been watching him for over three hours now. He had seen so many emotions, each interesting. It was like a TV show, he could watch for hours on end, and never grow exhausted. He had, at first, seen a cute expression on the boy's face, for hours on end. It had made his heart melt. Naturally, it also made certain parts of his anatomy excited, forcing him to go take a cold shower.

When he had come back, a scared look had been on the boy's face. Almost too sad, too desperate. He had a feeling he was dreaming about the pink haired thing. Why does he still love her? Can't he see I'm this interested in him? He had been headed back downstairs when he heard the bed shake. He was half glad he could come back to see the blond wake up. Now, he only had to hold him up in here till Kimimaro got hold of any pictures of her trying to cheat. Kimimaro had agreed to flash a bit of skin, though nothing more.

Kimimaro is trust worthy. He will get those snapshots. Enough to break them apart. By then, I'll have him in my hands. A smirk made its way to his face.

"Have you heard from Sakura, yet? Is she okay? She isn't with that other guy with the muscular body is she?" Naruto asked. He was jealous. Why did he care for her so much? She was always trying to hurt him, always cheating on him. But this guy was so dedicated to her? Excluding things he hid from her. Like his real name.

Sasuke knew why the blond hid his name, however. He would have done so too. If he wanted to have a girlfriend, he'd probably test if she wasn't dating him based on his name and money. That bitch Sakura, however, is doing that. He inwardly couldn't wait till Naruto learnt the truth about her. Now, back to the boy in my bed.

"No, she's busy with her partner. Now, focus on me, just me," he instructed. He slowly sat at the edge of the bed, peering at the other man with a dark glint in his eyes. "We're in a relationship, understand, Uzumaki? A newly engaged couple," he said, smirking. The blond, however, shook his head. "You haven't even asked me," he argued.

"Fine, marry me, dobe."

"… What do you take me for? A woman?"

"Just say yes."

"Fine. I'll marry you, teme."

Sasuke looked over at the wall, smirking. How he wish that had been the real question. But unfortunately, at the moment, he had to make the moron fall for him. "Now, tell me anything I should know about you. Anything, you shouldn't hide," he said. The blond sat there, probably pondering if he should hide anything or not. He waited, patiently. After all, this might be the thing that'll let me into his pants.

"My… my real name is Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto. I'm the son of famous doctor and owner of a chain of islands, Namikaze Minato. I've been engaged to Haruno Sakura, but for some reason, that engagement seemed to unrealistic, so I've been reconsidering whether she was really in love with me. I haven't ever done that with anyone. And, I love the color orange. I just have to wear simple clothes because of my fiancée."

Sasuke was half surprised that he didn't need second prompting. Then again, he was certain this was just another thing he would fall in love with. Such a special, interesting, fuckable little blond. He was slightly surprised to find the blond sulking.

"So, tell me. Is she really trying that with… with that guy you sent her to?"

Sasuke felt guilty. So, he was here, trying to split apart this blond angel from the one he loves. How could he? I'm sorry… but this, I have to do. I'll be better to you, I promise. His phone rang, and he knew who it was. Kimimaro. He pressed the speaker button, signaling Naruto to shut up by placing his finger on his lips.

"Uchiha-sama, I have done as you asked."

"And what happened, Kimimaro?"

"Just as you expected. She tried."

"I see. And what did you do to her?"

"I played along and then said I was tired and had to go back to my hotel room."

"Her reaction?"

"She begged me to stay after stating that her fiancé didn't give her enough."

At this point, Sasuke saw the darkening look in Naruto's blue eyes. It hurt, he expected this. But he could help him overcome this. Just give me the chance. "Good job, Kimimaro. Bring her back to Kisame's office tomorrow morning," Sasuke said, before closing the phone. So, it was out. Sakura's secret, and now, Sasuke had to play the right card. Somehow, get Naruto to be with him.

"Sasuke… I want to…"

He raised an eyebrow and sent a look back at Naruto, who continued gazing at the bed in despair.

"I want to… I want to show her, I don't need her…"

Opportunity arrived.

He crawled over to the blond, and quickly pressed his hands into the blond's shoulders, pushing him flat onto the bed. Naruto didn't look surprised, in fact, he looked determined. Sasuke gazed down, at the tanned man underneath him. He was going to relish this opportunity to make the blond man his. And I'll never let you go. For a moment, the male seemed shocked. He continued to stare down with lust in his coal eyes.

"You want to show her you don't need her as well, right? Then… then join me, Naruto… join me in this crazed world of mine," he whispered. The blond continued staring up with question in his highly expressive eyes. He'll give in. I would too. But Naruto continued to remain silent, his eyes looking to the side. "I'm not like Sakura, teme. I don't cheat," he mumbled.

Sasuke almost, almost, snapped.

"This isn't cheating. You're not engaged anymore…"

"Even if I'm not, you're just a marriage councilor and a rich heir."


"So, I don't want one night flings!"

"Who ever said I wanted one either?"

Naruto was shocked at his words. He expected him to be as well. How often was it that someone you just met said they wanted to be more than friends with you? Well, in Sasuke's case, quite often. But that wasn't what mattered, at the point. He just wanted the blond, more than anything.

"You're… you're asking me out?" Naruto asked. Sasuke snorted. "Isn't it obvious, dobe?" he grunted. He made it obvious he wanted the boy more than anything. If only he'd accept Sasuke's love. He closed his eyes, expecting the expected 'get the hell off of me you bastard'. Expecting to not only not have a blond, but the mar of a rejection on his list. Expecting—

A soft pressure was applied to his lips, surprising him. He opened his eyes, only to find the sweet blond underneath him kissing him, softly. He was surprised, to say the least, but not displeased. It was quite the opposite, for inside his head, he was jumping up and down in victory, while some pink thing sulked in defeat a few feet from him. He instantly took control, wrapping his pale arms around the blond's waist and pulling him close. He was a bit harsh on the blond's unexpected light bodyweight, and had the boy gasping as he was tugged into an embrace.

Sasuke, naturally, took advantage of this and slipped his tongue into the lush cavern he now nicknamed 'mine'. He slowly explored each inch, making sure to run his tongue over the blond's tongue, waiting for a reaction. It seemed Naruto didn't lie when he said it was his first time. The lack of reaction proved it. Sasuke quickly made work of his hands by unbuttoning the blond's white shirt, and heatedly, he tore it away from the tanned skin he ached to have contact with. After tossing it to one side, he let lips trail down from the blond's lips to his jaw line, where he nibbled, softly.

Naruto, at this point, didn't know how to react. He was having his first time with his new boyfriend. Considering he was straight, or so he thought, this was a completely innovative feeling. He felt Sasuke's lips trail down to his neck, where the male bit hard on his skin. He let out a cry of pain, half wanting the raven haired male to just stay away. But, Sasuke being Sasuke continued sucking on the bleeding wound, till it was just a sting. He shuddered as Sasuke's wandering hands pinched one of his nipples, roughly.

"D-damn teme! D-do you even know what y-you're doing?" he gasped out. Sasuke looked up from creating delicious bite marks on the blond's shoulder and smirked. "Naturally. I'm an Uchiha, and I top," he said, almost as if he hadn't just stated Naruto was the female in their relationship. "Oh shut up, teme! I-I can tell y-you I t-top you any d-day!" he exclaimed, only to moan out seconds after when Sasuke's tongue brushed, tentatively, over one of his nipples.

"In your dreams," Sasuke chided, before letting his tongue trail down further. As soon as he came to the barrier between him and his prize, he smirked softly. His chance had come, and, as he had anticipated, he finally had the blond in his arms. He quickly unzipped the black pants and pulled them down, leaving Naruto in his orange boxers. He rolled his eyes at the boxers. "You have bad taste in clothing, dobe," he said. Naruto only stuck his tongue out at him.

Sasuke quickly pulled the boxers off, tossing them aside. He stood up moments after, staring down at the man before him. He could only lick his lips and imagine how tasty this would turn out to be. Soft skin, tight ass, delicious lips; damn, not even a tomato is as good as this.


He froze just as he heard the horrible screech. As he turned around, his eyes landed on none other than Haruno Sakura. A smirk came over his face. Well, Suigetsu, you did much, much more than asked. All the while, Naruto was as red as a tomato.


Several Days Later…

"I-I apologize to you, Miss Haruno, Mister Uzumaki. My substitute had this all planned out wrong and—"

Naruto grinned as Sasuke kept trying to grab his ass. He had to grin to hide his blush and his new boyfriend-come-fiancé's lecherous intent. Sakura stood beside him, tears gushing out of her eyes. Now that he knew she had been cheating on him, he didn't care. Hell, he was glad Sasuke had cheated his way into his life.

"O-Oh Kisame-san! I want my boyfriend back!" Sakura wept. At her pitiful tone, Itachi placed a hand on Kisame's shoulder. "Miss Haruno, I can assure you, my brother loves your ex-boyfriend dearly. And he would appreciate if you stayed away from him," Itachi ended. Sasuke's smug smirk made Sakura weep more.

Naruto poked her shoulder and grinned, however. "Hey, Sakura-chan. Did I ever tell you my last name? Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto at your service. I can buy expensive diamonds, and beautiful dresses," Naruto exclaimed. Sakura's green eyes widened at his words. "Y-you're rich? N-Naruto my love, come back!" she exclaimed, wailing even more.

Sasuke could only continue to smirk. Kisame couldn't help save that couple, but he surely helped build this one.