Hello Readers!! (waves enthusiastically) Thanks for taking a chance and checking out my story!!
Disclaimer:(you will find out very quickly that I love to write these) I do own EVERYTHING!! THAT'S RIGHT!! EVERYTHING!! (evil laugh) You poke me with a pencil. OK (annoyed huff) I own Farcius, and the specific predator Claw, but not the species or any other recognizable characters. (sigh)
(I wrote this with a certain elf's name spelled wrong for the entire story, so if there are still mistakes, please forgive)
" 32 caliber pistol, check! Small and large hand grenades, check! Little pointy light thingy, check! Recipe for cheesecake brownies, check! Little to the left, yes, yes, now hold still my small fortune. Hey! What are YOU doing here?! Don't give me that confused look. Yes, you, reading this story. Or my story, I don't really know yet. There aren't any other main characters in it yet, so for now it is my story. Now, if you will excuse me, I have someone to………..ohh, that's pretty-"
"Chief, we are in position, waiting for your signal." The Chief nodded, picking up a sniper and set of pistols.
"Alright, lets move out." The company of marines began to creep forward into their attack positions, snipers set on every alien in the building.
"Ready, OK" The entire group opened fire on the surprised creatures, many falling dead before they could retaliate. The fighting was soon all out, a hail of grenades coming toward the marines in response to the attack. Just as the dust was clearing, the chief heard one of his men cry a warning, then everything went black.
Sabretooth was close, close enough for him to smell what he had eaten for breakfast. Not a pleasant smell to say the least. He looked through the trees, amber eyes scanning the moonlit leaves until he spotted his enemy's form. He crouched, ready to spring, his claws millimeters from bursting though his skin. Just as Sabretooth's yellow eyes turned on him, he jumped, claws tearing free of their housings. Then, suddenly, he was encased in a blackness.
"Ok, so not a me story. What a disappointment. And this instant portal thingy, yea. Not so instant. I've been in this thing for what? Two or three paragraphs. Someone needs to call the portal repair guy."
"What do your elf eyes see?" The elf prince squinted, wishing with all his heat that he could avoid telling his friends what he saw.
"Get ready! Warg riders!" He drew his bow, bracing for the impact as he shot across the plain, taking down three before the monsters reached them. Just as Gimli rode past him, the elf grabbed hold of the saddle, swinging himself up. Just as he was about to settle in behind the dwarf, there was a strange flash of darkness and he was gone.
Scarlet wings fluttered in the sun, as they came to rest on their master's armored shoulder. The large predator barely felt his bird touch him as it landed silently, peering around his dreadlocks to get a better view of the latest hunt. Just then the bird noticed something strange appearing, he gave a cry to warn his master of danger. "Farcius! What have I told you about- ….."
"Hey! He got cut off in mid sentence too! Cool. But seriously, are we done yet? I am getting tired of this "instant porter" no cable, no board game, not even weird colors. Hurry up will you?!"
A moment later "Wait wait wait ! How many times have I told you that that portal thingy didn't take, "a moment"! Hey, what are you doing with that duct tape?……."
As I was saying, a moment later five portals opened in the center of a ring of stone henge., each dumping it's contents un-ceremonially onto the ground. Deadpool, Master Chief, Wolverine, Legolas, and Claw all looked around in confusion. Suddenly there was a simultaneous sound of blades leaving sheaths, a bow being drawn tight, and guns cocking.
"Who are you?! What did you do?! What do you want?!" everyone began at once, pointing weapons at whoever was close by.
"And why do you have duct tape over your mouth?" the Chief suddenly asked the colorful character across from him.
Logan sheathed his claws and commented "If you knew the guy you wouldn't be wondering." He walked over to Deadpool and freed him from his sticky bonds.
"You know I could have done that on my own." Logan smirked as he used a claw to slice the layers of duct tape around Deadpool's wrists.
"Sure you could have."
"So," Legolas started, "YOU two know each other, but I don't think anyone else does. Who are you all? I am Legalos, elf prince of Mirkwood."
Deadpool opened his mouth to make a smart comment but Logan slapped a hand across his face before he could.
"I'm Logan, but you can call me Wolverine."
"I am Spartan 117, but you can call me Master Chief, or just Chief."
Deadpool freed his mouth. "Ooooo, SOMEONE is full of himself!!"
"Aww, shut up merc, you should talk." Logan growled. "Though you do have a point, you don't have a real name?" He asked, addressing the space man in front of him.
The Chief shuffled his feet. "Well, not really. I used to be named Mark."
Logan nodded. "Ok, how about you, bird boy?"
Claw drew his head back indignantly and Farcius glared. "My name is Claw, this is Farcius." He said, gesturing to the bird.
"What are you? Something Halloween barfed up?" Deadpool asked.
Claw growled. "I am a Yatija, a Predator. And you should see me without my mask." He added with a chuckle.
"Yea!?" Deadpool began, "Bet I could beat you in an ugly test! Want to go?" He challenged, putting a hand on his mask.
Logan smirked. "Wade, you just threw yourself under the bus."
Deadpool stopped and thought a moment, then shrugged. Legalos broke the banter. "Does anyone have any idea why we are even here?"
"Nope, or No, was echoed around the entire company."
Legalos sighed, putting his bow away. "Maybe we should find out. The way I see it, this was not a coincidence. Unless we are all dead-"
Deadpool reached over and smacked Logan with one of his guns.
"Owww! Sun of a!"
"Nope! Not dead!" Deadpool declared cheerfully.
"No, not yet." Everyone looked toward the source of the voice.
A woman, draped in black and purple robes, was striding towards them on a great horse. This in and of itself was not that strange, but the horse was bone, filled out with only a dark haze that seemed to want to blow away. The woman rode him bareback, and she was completely covered, her face hidden by a veil.
"But have no fear my friends, death will come for each of you eventually, even you master elf."
Legolas looked stunned, and his hands reflexively went for his swords. The rest of the group just stared at her, wondering if they were all just having a very bizarre dream.
Everyone that is, except Deadpool. He was staring at her, but everyone could tell that he was drooling.
Logan snapped out of his haze first, addressing the woman. "Look lady, you obviously know what is going on here, and if I'm right you are the one who got us here in the first place…."
The woman held up a hand to silence him. "I will explain, but you must not interrupt. I will attempt to answer any questions that you will have, but time is very important."
She dismounted, addressing the company. Everyone perked up to listen, and Logan smacked Deadpool out of his haze so he could listen too. "I am death, and you are in my realm. This is a kingdom you would normally have to wait until your body's die to see, but in your case, I made an exception. I need your help. The monsters that you have each destroyed in your own lands come here upon death, just like any soul. Normally these creatures would be sent to my dungeons for eternity, forced to work as slaves for their crimes. Unfortunately, they have escaped. Even with all of the deceased heroes that I have here with me, I have been un able to cage them. After trying every resource I have, I have decided that the only conclusion is for me to recruit the aid of still living heroes that have fought these monsters and defeated them in the first place. That is why you are here. You, because your souls are still incased in your bodies, haveextra protection. Your bodies also provide a problem however. Your souls, despite the way that you may think of them as being soft, or like a vapor or ghost, are actually harder than your bodies. That is why they survive the bodies' death to come here. The afterlife is fine for souls, but to your vulnerable bodies, it is very harsh. A normal human would have already lost their life in the amount of time you have been here, but each of you havebeyond- normal limits to your stamina and strength. This will allow you to survive a few days here. But once you pass your limit, your bodies will die and you will be trapped here. I may be able to help you healers back if you do pass your limit, but the chance is very slim. The rest of you have no chance at all. That is why time is so important. Once your souls loose their extra protection, you will be of little use against these foes."
Logan snorted. "So you got yourself in trouble and now you are having us pay for it?"
Deadpoolshot Logan in the foot. "Do NOT disrespect her highness! If this damsel needs help, you better be ready to give it BUB!"
Deadpool looked smug before making a sweeping bow towards Death.
She shook her head, but gave the peppy merc a nod of thanks.
"So what do you expect us to do? Find and cage these guys?" Claw asked, his predatory nature perking his interest, no matter how weird the situation was turning out to be.
"What could you possibly need me for?" The Chief asked, "The Arbiter and the covenant hasn't been beaten yet."
"Those prophets are more trouble than you might think, even on their own." She replied grimly.
"So who are we dealing with?" Legolas asked. Death fidgeted, seeming to feel guilty. "Khan, Sauran, Apocalypse, and the prophet of Regret." Legolas gave a defeated sigh and plopped down on a nearby rock. The Chief slapped a frustrated hand to his forehead. Claw fingered his diamond dagger. Logan swore under his breath. Deadpool made another sweeping bow and kissed Death's hand. Everyone looked at Deadpool. "What?"
Everyone was back at Death's palace. They had taken an underground route, deciding to let her horse carry a message to the place where many subjects of the afterlife were hiding.
Deadpool had insisted on carrying her the entire way. Once they reached the palace, they had come up through a trap door into an armory. There were matching suits of armor on all the walls, black and silver layered plates and chain mail that reminded Logan of ancient Samurai armor.
"Any of you may use this armor or any weapons that you find around, but I know you are probably more comfortable with what you are used to using. The plus in this armor is that it should help slow the deterioration that this world has on you. It is also very light and strong, and good for camouflage." Death explained.
Deadpool eyed the armor for a moment, then grabbed one in his size. "Sweet armor, or sweet spandex, sweet armor, or sweet spandex? What to do, what to do."
He stared at it a moment, then decided. "BOTH!!"
He quickly slipped on and tied the armor over his suit, fastening his weapons where he could still reach them.
"Now I am super ultra mega cool ninja merc!!" He declared triumphantly.
"Good for you 'Pool." Logan said as he grabbed a suit of his own. Legolas and Claw did the same, grabbing armor and suiting up.
Death looked apologetically at the Chief. "I don't think I have any armor for you, but you may wear this amulet, it should help slow the deterioration." She said, placing a small, clear, crystal on a silver chain around the Chief's neck.
"As for you, Farcius," She said, addressing the bird, "I have just the thing for you. Falcon armor."
She opened a chest and removed a small suit of armor that matched the rest, specially crafted for birds. Farciusdonned it happily and gave a chirp in thanks.
As the Chief waited for his comrades, an idea struck him. "Why do you guys need armor, I mean, you can't die right?"
Death chuckled. "No, you are right about that, but the ancient Samurai and Egyptians didn't know that."
"Wait," Logan cut in. "Why do you need us if your people can't die? I mean, couldn't you all just gang up on the big guys and cage them up?"
Death gave a rueful smile under her veil. "They can't die, but they can be exiled. If a soul is "killed" in the afterlife, it goes to burn in the outer desert, where even I am powerless. There soul eaters roam, waiting to devour any soul that should be unfortunate enough to go there. I believe that some have even slipped into another world that none of you are from, as Dementors. As I said, your souls have extra protection from that fate as your bodies are still living."
The Chief shuddered at the thought before thinking of something else that didn't make sense.
"If this place exists, how come you didn't send the prophet of Regret and the other guys out there?"
This time Death shuddered. "I have never had this problem of anyone escaping my dungeons before, and I have never seen a soul evil enough for that fate."
Deadpool was in the corner tapping his foot impatiently. "OK. Now that you disrespectful twits have satisfied your insatiable appetites for filling plot holes, I think it is time for some action!"
Death nodded. "Your knowledge does nothing if you run out of time."
Ooookay! Now that everyone not familiar with Claw or Deadpool is thoroughly confused, the helpful author is here to clear things up! (Heroic music plays) Claw is a predator, if you hadn't gathered that, and he is my invention. I loved the predator movies and sort of customized my own predator and dropped him into the world of fan fiction. I have written 3 stories about him, and the first one is up in it's entirety on this site, conveniently named Claw. His bird, Farcius, is another invention of mine, but unfortunately doesn't show up till the third story which is still in a notebook. (sigh) Are you bored yet? (grins) Farcius is taken from the idea of a Phoenix, so if you have a mental image of a Phoenix, that is about what he looks like. (about the size of a falcon- hence the falcon armor) Deadpool is a little know Marvel comic creation, and a search on Wikipedia would clear you up, but I will put a few things here. One interesting note is that he KNOWS he is in a comic, story, ect. Therefore, he was talking to me (and you) earlier in the chapter. He has an implanted healing factor that is derived from Wolverine himself, and as a result of being experimented on he is horribly disfigured. (Hence the "ugly contest") He is a mercenary, and in the comics actually falls in love with Death, an actual character in the Marvel Comics. He is also the biggest clown you will come across, and a human arsenal. Now that I have bored all my poor readers to death, let me know what you think!! (gives you puppy eyes) P.S. Khan is explained in my Claw story.