Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel…James Cameron does… and so does FOX the real world equivalent of Manticore. This started as a one shot, but it will be an ongoing story on I've want to do. This is a Logan centric, in Manticore. Max will apart from flashbacks and in this beginning piece, will not appear much until the later chapters. Pairings are undetermined. Obviously AU AJBAC and season two. Renfro, the wicked witch is dead. Read and enjoy.
These Shattered Pieces…
It was just an apartment. It still smelled like him, it still looked like Logan could walk into that room at any moment. Max half expected as she stared at the empty space by the computers that Logan would be sitting there all ready to rope her into some stupid crusade.
Logan didn't live here anymore. She was now Eyes Only, trying to keep Logan alive in some way. The apartment was just a shell. Max slept in his bed, so she could pretend behind her eyes that Zack had not come in at that moment.
That the one hopeless, messed up person in the world she needed could be there. Eleven years ago Max had escaped Manticore. Three months ago, she did it again. But a part of Max was still in there.
Because she had made a mistake, in the heat of the moment and made a fatal split second decision. Emotions running high from fighting Brin, terrified for her family she had sacrificed the other part of it. In an instant, that was all it took. For the world to fall apart.
"She's clear" Logan said staring at the screen. "Detonate" He looked around, so intent on Max's fight with Brin, he had not noticed Lydecker slip out, and the detonation remote was with Lydecker. He swore and secured his headset to his radio. "Max, Zack- Lydecker's vanished, and I think we should assume he's no longer helping"
"Really?" Logan almost smiled at Zack's sarcasm- he had earned it. Pulling out the gun from where he had stashed it before letting Lydecker near the van, he stepped out.
Max's reply was swift. "We'll use the secondary safe point- got it Syl, Krit?"
"Affirmative" Krit replied, and Logan shook his head. Lydecker really had taken them for fools. Did he think that they would not have a back up plan in place, especially knowing Deck as well as they all did?
The exoskeleton added a speed to his gait, and he ran through the woods. Nothing mattered but getting Max and the others out of here. Logan could figure out what happened easily- genius or not. Lydecker had used them, to set up leverage, to get him close to Renfro, so he was close enough to kill her. And to capture four rogue X5s in the deal. Lydecker's line, 'It's very gratifying watching kids realize their purpose in life.' Logan should have known better, he was Eyes Only wasn't he? People who believed what they were doing, that it was the right thing? People with conviction never changed sides.
Logan had seen the most evil of men and had studied them. And he had failed, no he had screwed up. Logan could not blame anyone but himself. The X5s- Max may know Manticore, and Lydecker but he knew what these battles really were. He knew how these people reacted. As Eyes Only, it was how he kept the informant net from being destroyed- people killed, by studying history, examples of true evil. By knowing each and every reaction, and being able to anticipate it.
Ahead in a clearing he could see Max, see her say something. He saw a small bald child in front of him raising a gun towards Max and Logan didn't hesitate, he fired, and the child crumpled- not a child, one of the X7… hive mind he remembered Lydecker saying. The morality of the situation disappearing with the reality of 'kill or be killed'
"Go ahead, I'll be right behind you" Logan smiled. "I promise"
Max shook her head "Come on, we have to go"
"Go, Krit and Syl might run into trouble"
Without waiting for Max he ran deeper, closer to Manticore… he had done this, he needed to save Zack, he couldn't just leave the man here. Not only was Zack Max's brother, he was someone that Logan realized he respected. Despite the attitude, and being a jerk. Max didn't fight him this time and he knew she needed to reach Syl and Krit to make sure they were okay. No longer did resentment fill him, for one family issue or another; this was his fight as much as hers.
Logan Cale had planned to keep his promise.
To make it out.
Logan tried to remember a time when his existence wasn't these four walls, on the good days. He tried to remember what his name had been beyond Logan.
He couldn't. Every part of him was dead or dying and all he could remember was the woman. Warm brown eyes, he held on to her even though her name beyond 452 had deserted him a long time ago. She was his angel, the part that used to be someone else.
He fought to remember a time, a place before Manticore. From the chained bunk, Logan cried out in pain as images assaulted his mind – MISSION, DUTY, LOYALTY- images of Command that kept slamming his mind every time he gave them the chance.
The only thing obstructing his vision was the tears. In the beginning, he had tried; the old Logan had tried to stay like a wall. Colonel Lydecker had changed that- when Lydecker or bastard had changed to Colonel, Logan could not recall. Training and Psy Ops commanded Logan's days, and the part where they brought out needles was the least painful segment.
Logan could remember the scream that would come out his mouth, but it sounded like an animal's tortured cry in the wild, foreign even to him. He knew something as well as Logan… he hated Colonel Lydecker with an equal passion to his fear of the older man. Everything about him wanted, needed to rip this man apart. And something in him stopped him from doing it.
His only salvation was Zack, in this whole horror, some part of him tried to remember why he and Zack were once against, friction to each other.
Zack was the one who would curse and rage but never cry. He talked when Logan was hoarse from begging and screaming. Zack was the one who kept calling him Logan, again and again. Zack was the one who helped him survive the training. The only person he could trust. Family, in such a strong way it was one of the few things he was left sure of.
Deep down, Logan knew he was not the same man who was dragged in. The Colonel pronounced he was 'better, stronger, faster' a soldier. He had done something to him, in that chair, on that operating table. Staring at the ceiling, Logan closed his eyes and begged for sleep. For the dreams and the memories of the other Logan that haunted him.
His only release.
To Be Continued….
Completed 9/11/2008 – Edited May 9, 2009.
My heart goes out to the survivors, the victims and their families of 9/11. A tragedy I hope is never repeated.