The Misadventures of DX and the Hardy Boyz
Summary: From meeting Bigfoot (sort of), being chased by "killer" dogs and driving everyone else insane, these four wrestlers never have a dull moment.
Bigfoot Under the Bed
"Hunter? Hunter? Hunter wake the hell up!"
Hunter groaned. His head was throbbing. He had one of the worst hangovers in the history of all hangovers. "Go back to sleep Shawn," he mumbled. "It's too early to get up."
"I'm not Shawn you idiot!" Jeff snapped. He threw the TV remote at Hunter. "Would you get your lazy ass up? We have a serious problem here!"
Hunter opened his eyes. "Jeff? What the hell are you doing in my room?"
"You're in my room dude. You passed out in here last night and nobody bothered to move your fat ass."
"Oh. Then where did Matt sleep?"
"I don't know, I'm not his keeper. Now can we get to the problem at hand?"
"What problem?" Hunter asked irritably. He was starting to wish he had passed out somewhere else. Jeff was really starting to piss him off.
"There's a monster under my bed."
Hunter stared at the younger man in shock. "What did you just say?"
"There's a monster under my bed," Jeff repeated. He grabbed his pillow and hugged it against his chest. "I tried to go take a shower and it grabbed my foot."
Hunter burst out laughing. "Wow, I've heard you heard you say some crazy shit before but that takes the cake."
"I'm not joking!" Jeff whined. "There's really something under there!"
Hunter sighed. "Oh for the love of God." He got off his bed and knelt down to look under Jeff's bed. "There are no such things as--"
Something very large and very hairy yelled at that moment and tried to grab Hunter. The twelve time world champion let out a girlish scream and jumped back into his own bed. "SWEET CREAM ON AN ICE CREAM SANDWHICH! WHAT IN THE BLUE HELLWAS THAT??"
"I told you!" Jeff yelled triumphantly. "Before you woke up it nearly pulled me into its evil lair of doom!"
Hunter grabbed the telephone. "We have to call for help. Maybe we could find the number of a monster extermination service."
"There's no such thing as a monster extermination service."
"Maybe the Ghostbusters--"
"That was a movie! And in case you didn't notice, we're not dealing with a ghost!"
"Maybe I could call Monsters Inc. then," Hunter finally suggested.
"WOULD YOU STOP SUGGESTING FICTIONAL SOLUTIONS?" Jeff screamed. He jumped from his bed over to Hunter's. He grabbed the larger man by the shoulders and began to shake him. "WE HAVE A SERIOUS FUCKING PROBLEM HERE!"
"Yeah, and it's called your breath," Hunter muttered. He pushed Jeff away. "Seriously, go get a breath mint or something."
The monster let out a terrible growl and pushed the bed over. Hunter and Jeff's jaws dropped in shock. "It's Bigfoot," Hunter finally managed to say. "Jeff, how the hell did Bigfoot get under your bed?"
Bigfoot roared and lunged out of them. The two of them scrambled out of the way and ran to the door. "It won't open!" Jeff cried. He tugged on the door several times to prove his point.
Hunter undid the latch and got the door open. They ran out of the room and went down the hallway, plowing into the returning Matt as they did. "Run Matt!" Jeff warned his older brother without bothering to turn around and stop. "Run like the wind!"
"What the hell are you--guys, why is Big Show still wearing that costume?"
Hunter and Jeff stopped in their tracks. "What?" they said at the same time.
Matt sighed, got back up to his feet and helped the giant out of his costume. To Jeff and Hunter's shock, it really was the Big Show.
"What the hell were you guys doing?" Big Show yelled when he was finally free. His body was drenched in sweat. "I was yelling at you for hours! I needed help and all you two did was yell about monsters!"
Hunter grinned sheepishly. "Uh…whoops! Our bad."
Jeff frowned. "What were you doing in that costume anyway?"
Big Show just shook his head. "Some questions are better left unanswered."