Sam nodded as he stood up. He didn't take his eyes off of his brother. It was like he was seeing him for the first time. This was his brother, and his brother knew it was him. He had suffered for months trying to figure a way out, crossed universes to get an ounce of his brother, and sought comfort in a life that had been designed to cut Dean out, to belittle him, and treat him like he was a moron. He had looked into the face of a man scared inside and out, tarnished, alone, fragile and so not his brother. His chest still ached, his muscles tense, this felt like a dream, like putting the other Sam back was just an illusion, like everything that had happened would fall away from him. Because, now standing here, in front of the man who raised him, loved him, went to hell for him, he was at a loss for words. All he wanted to do for those months alone was just talk to his brother, tell him anything, just simply talk to him and hear a response. It had been the fuel that had driven him to break his promise, to learn how to do things that his demon blood allowed, and to find another Dean, but even while he had been there he knew that it wasn't his brother, knew that he would never get that bond back, never be Samndean again. There was so much to say and so few words in which to speak them. He simply stood there and starred.
Dean felt his brother's eyes as well as saw them and the longer Sam starred the more creeped out Dean felt. And after a while he took a step back. "Go wash up, shave, something there dude. Then come back down, I'll have a cup of coffee for you, and we need to talk about this."
"Go. Get cleaned up. You look like ass." Sam continued to stare at Dean like if he quit looking at him he would disappear. Dean turned to Bobby who was hovering just inside the doorway. "Bobby will you make us some coffee?"
"Sure thing." He said and Dean put his hand on Sam's shoulder.
"Come on little brother. Come on. Let's go get a shower. I'll stand right outside of the bathroom and talk to you the entire time if that will make you move and do as I ask." Sam licked his lips.
"Yeah. Okay. Okay." He nodded his head. "Shower."
"Yeah, shower and shave."
"And clean clothes."
"Yeah, clean clothes." Dean slowly spun his brother around and gave a gentle push towards the stairs. Sam walked up the stairs slowly and Dean pushed him into the bathroom.
"Get in there, get in the shower, I'll get you some clean clothes. I'll be right back. I'm going to leave the door cracked." Sam nodded and went into the bathroom and Dean heard the water turn on, and he went into the bedroom that they usually shared and pulled out clean clothes for his brother and then put them inside the bathroom and sat against the wall across from the bathroom.
"So, Hell wasn't exactly a picnic." He started. "Got out. You buried me Sam. Not sure why. You should have salted and burned me." he said starting his monologue. "Guess I'm grateful you didn't though." He chuckled. "But I woke up in that pine box you made for me. Scared to death. I managed to dig my way out. Got here. Bobby put me through this really interesting demon detecting tricks, and once he realized that I was me he hugged me. Yeah. Bobby Singer hugged me. One for the books. I guess when you have been in hell for four months you get special privileges. I guess though that it doesn't go towards food, he won't let me eat bacon cheese burgers for breakfast anymore, he says that I need to start sweating the cholesterol. I really hate that he remembers everything you say. Kinda creepy actually. And I really don't know what exactly you did to make that other guy, that really was a good Sammy impersonator until he opened his mouth, come here and whatever, but Sam, let me just say that I would have washed your mouth out as a kid if you had said that kind of thing to me." The door opened completely and Sam, clean, shaved and dressed came out of the bathroom. He licked his lips and began the starring contest with his brother again.
"Dude, we've got to have a discussion about this starring thing." Sam blinked and gave a small smile. "Come on, I smell coffee." Dean took lead and clomped down the stairs, and as Sam watched he realized that he missed his brother's bow legged gait.
They sat down and Bobby put a cup in front of both brothers and sat down with his own mug.
"Son, why don't you tell us what you did?" Bobby said and Dean nodded and took a sip from his mug.
"I, well, I took Ruby up on her offer." Sam could feel every single muscle in Dean's body tense. "I just wanted to get you back. I had to get you back. I couldn't stand it. You know what it feels like Dean. You know." Dean nodded. He did know exactly what his brother felt. "And come to find out, I can do this whole Star Trek alternate universe thing and I found a place where you existed and where the guy who is me over there was a real jack ass and he, well, he didn't deserve what he had. So I threw him here." Sam took a sip of the coffee and put it down, picked it back up and then just held it. "He didn't deserve to have a brother." He said quietly.
"Didn't they get along?" Dean asked gently.
"No. Not at all. His brother, your counter part, he used to be a drug addict, and he was pretty messed up could hardly walk. He had a kid. That was the same. The two of you love kids the same. That was pretty much all that was the same. Dad was so different, Mom was there and beautiful. It was so surreal, but I was determined to fit in there, determined to be the brother that he never had, to have you back some way, because I tried everything here to get you out of hell, everything. I even went back to that devil's gate and tried to bust it open. I couldn't. That was when I left. That was when I went and found another you…but.."
"But what?" Dean asked gently.
"You got anything stronger Bobby?" Bobby stood and pulled a bottle of Jack out of a cabinet and poured it inside Sam's cup. Sam took a fortifying drink and looked back at the two most important people in his life. "The demons followed me. I took care of Ruby, and Lilith went after that Dean, just another way to try and take me out. So I chased her back here, and Bobby, you watched me take her out. She's back in hell." Sam said and refused to look up for a moment.
"Who saved you?" Sam asked after a moment of silence.
Dean chuckled. "God apparently."
"Yeah, that was pretty much my take on it too. This guy named Castiel , he claims that he is an angel of the lord and that God has a purpose for me. I personally don't see it. I think the guy is a confused demon personally, but well, the magic knife didn't kill him and salt rounds didn't even phase him and the devil's trap…well…not so much."
"An angel? Really?"
"I guess." Dean said and took a swig of coffee.
"You remember what happened after…."
"After I was shredded?" Sam nodded choked. "Nah. I don't remember anything. Thank God."
"Yeah, thank God." Dean looked at Bobby then to Sam.
"Come on Sammy. You need rest. Hell so do I. it's been a long day. Come on. Let's go. I can't carry your heavy ass upstairs." Sam nodded and followed his big brother upstairs. Each got undressed and in their respective beds.
"God wants you out of the hot box. That's impressive."
"Especially since you don't have faith." Sam said as he turned and lay on his stomach.
"Oh I have faith Sammy. I had faith that you would come back to me." And that was the truth. Sam always came back. He came back from Stanford, from the pain of their father's death, from the dead himself, and he came back to where he belonged. Right beside his real brother. Beside the man who gave him the world. Sam sighed and snuggled down into the pillow. All was right in the world, his world; he didn't need an alternate life to see him through, to save him. His brother would do just fine.