This was totally inspired by "100 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do at Hyoutei" XD and Rebeccers ffic, so here we are. If you like it, let me know! I'll keep working on it somehow.

And in case it's not clear, I don't own Phoenix Wright. OMG If I did, that would be so kick ass, but alas, no.

Full Title: 100 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do at the DA's Office

Number 1: I am not allowed to replace the coffee with decaf coffee.

A triumphant smile crept its way across Detective Gumshoe's scruffy face as he heard the coffee brewing noises of victory.

He stretched slowly and tossed his patched-up green jacket in the janitor's coat closet as he was not permitted to hang his filthy rag of a coat next to the pristine line of prosecutorial suit jackets.

He would have stuffed his overcoat in his car, but that was currently full to the brim of empty ramen containers (his month's rations). Gumshoe let a small skip loose as he made his jolly way up the stairs.

Maybe, if the coffee didn't poison someone on accident like last time, the poor detective might get a pay raise for once!

Well, we know that won't happen, but a pal can dream, can't he?

So, as Detective Gumshoe was hauling himself eagerly up the stairs for his early morning whipping, a certain blue-suited attorney trotted through the glass double doors of the DA's office, forlorn and quite ruffled. He was having a terrible morning and was praying to all that is objectionable that going over his new case file may get his ass back in line.

As he stumbled across the glittering tile of the cafeteria, his brain tried to navigate the vast halls of the DA's office.

While he was tumbling around, he accidentally tripped over a prosecutor's briefcase and ran into the almost full pot of coffee sitting on one of the counters. It splashed and splattered everywhere, burning and singeing everything in its path, including some very irritated attorneys and the large, rather creepy Blue Badger figure bouncing around. Phoenix cursed as he set the pot back.

He felt so bad about what he had done that he gritted his teeth and pulled out the free sample of decaf coffee he got at the bookstore's coffee shop. They had nice free samples all the time, so the spikey-haired bum liked to get free things there.


He spent so much money feeding Maya that he was broke more than 90 percent of the time.

So there Phoenix went, happily humming over the case file he had wrestled from Edgeworth's clutches and the good deed or replacing the coffee. He walked out a carefree man.

Later that day, a very disgruntled Godot destroyed half the prosecutor's office in his rage, knocked himself out in the process, and had to be hospitalized.

Needless to say, everyone blamed the hapless detective for a blunder that was not his own, so Detective Gumshoe got another pay cut.

Reviews are nice...XD please? Tell me what you think!