Things Worth Notice: 1) A HUGE thank you to SummerEliza for the great chapter idea. She suggested a chapter about birthday gifts, but I decided to change it just a little bit and add make the piece more seasonal with the Christmas theme. Snaps for SummerEliza! 2) By popular demand, the next chapter will deal with cooking in the DA's office. Thanks to MatsyKunTEPHA for that one! 3) Since the holidays are a busy time, I will probably slack off on my fanfictions. If you'd like to see more attention devoted to this story, please go to my profile and vote on my poll! If this one is not voted for, then I'd like to take this opportunity to wish all of you a safe and happy holiday season!
Other Less Important Things: 1) I am totally thinking of just focusing on finishing the fics I have out now before starting anything new. (With the exception of larger projects such as this one and Bitch Stepped on My Floor Cake). When I'm done, I would love to take suggestions. Please, if you have them, send them in! 2) I would really appreciate it if you would also check out my newest Phoenix Wright fanfiction. It's called "Reaching for Affection." I tried to make this one more angsty and artistic. Please check it out and tell me how I can improve my writing. Thank you!
100 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do in the DA's Office.
Number 10: I'm Not Allowed to Give Gifts in the DA's Office.
"HO HO HO!"
Phoenix shouted as he strolled merrily down the halls, puffing out his padded belly in a gesture of holiday spirit.
The bulging satchel slung heavily over his shoulder inspired curiosity, so much so that it distracted Gumshoe from his casework.
That doesn't take much, but it was an interesting sight nonetheless.
After depositing a small, clumsily wrapped parcel outside of Godot's office, Santa Phoenix in his jolly red suit bounded into the elevator. He hummed a different tune at the change of each floor, something he'd become accustomed to doing after a particularly frightening elevator ride with Franziska von Karma. The trial that day bored poor Franziska out of her (prodigal) mind and she desired some entertainment. Things began to look up for her and down for Phoenix once they found out they'd be riding together until at least the 14th floor. Seeing as music was an expense the head DA was not willing to have, the thin elevator walls tended to be permeated solely by the purrs of machinery.
Franziska, on this day, was unhappy with the lack of melody and asked, rather politely, for Phoenix to sing the way he had back in the days of "So What." Fearing the sting of her whip, he'd complied.
After that, even in his solo journeys in the elevator, he would sing a few seconds of "So What," "Caramelldansen," "You Raise Me Up," "Down," (which was ironic because half of the time, he was travelling up) "Stepped on My J's," "Raise Me Up Buttercup," "Crazy Possessive," "In the Ghetto," "Poker Face," "Ooh Ooh Baby," Don't Stop Believing," "Baby Got Back," "Omigod You Guys," and "Lucky."
Jason Mraz's part would, of course be sung by Franziska because she was the more masculine of the two.
But not really.
So, he'd picked up the habit that, unfortunately, got him in trouble on more than one occasion when he'd landed on Edgeworth's floor singing the words "Oh my God, Omigod you guys! All this week, I've had butterflies. Every time he looks at me, it's totally proposal eyes, Oh my God you guys!"
Not today, oh no, he changed his tune.
Literally. (Fucking word play. I apologize).
It was something much more festive today and, moseying down Edgeworth's corridor, he continued his colorful rendition of "Jingle Bell Rock." It wasn't until some he got to the part about rocking the night away that he realized he was breaking the 3rd decree of the DA's office.
"I am Not Allowed to Burst Out into Song in the Hallways."
He contented himself with humming until he reached Edgeworth's tall wooden door. Not bothering to knock, he let himself right into the den of Miles Mayhem where he saw Edgeworth scribbling heavily onto some papers and Franziska perched lightly on the adjacent couch next to an unhappy Godot. Three of Santa's targets all in one well-manicured place.
His presence now reluctantly acknowledged by the trio. Pointing as he yelled, Phoenix roared "Ho, ho, ho…" He then gestured to himself. "Pimp!"
Godot, Franziska, and Edgeworth were spectacularly un-amused. Unfaltering, Edgeworth groaned in his monotonous trill.
"Wright, what did we say about cosplaying?" A smug grin crossed Phoenix's face as he threw his pointer arm out in his famous protest.
"OBJECTION! Cosplaying is defined as costume play in relation to an anime, game, or movie. Santa is a beloved folk character! It says so on Urban Dictionary! So…TAKE THAT!" He mistakenly took the absence of reply to mean a win.
He continued the charade. "Santa's got something in his sleigh for all of you, children! Let me just check my list." Phoenix pulled a thin sheet of toilet paper with ink bleeding all through it. "Godot has been a good boy this year! You're on the nice list. You get your present now."
The coffee addict was handed a small package, wrapped in pink metallic paper and laced with a baby blue ribbon. Godot blushed when he saw what was inside: A coffee cup with the words "Drinking decaf is like kissing your sister." Godot's eyes began to water with a remarkable joy.
"Thank you…Tri….Wright." Phoenix grinned, elated that his gift had satisfied. He turned back to his list.
"Uh-oh. Franzy's been a very naughty girl." He said this with a wink, the gesture returned with the mean end of a whip. Rubbing the newly formed red slash on his face, Phoenix grumbled as he reached back into his satchel. He pulled out a red parcel and handed it to her.
She snatched it away angrily, waiting a full six minutes before whipping the wrapping paper away. It was a studded dominatrix collar. In the meantime, Phoenix reached the end of his Santa list with Edgeworth.
"My, my, Miles, you've been a very good boy. You get a present as well." He tossed the working attorney a green and red gift that bounced off his head and onto his hand, disrupting the pen flow and forcing a nasty line across the paper.
Angered, Miles slid the present to the side, mumbling harshly as he continued his work.
Wildly offended, Phoenix strolled casually over to the desk and slid the gift back in front of Miles.
Further annoyed, Edgeworth opened his desk drawer and shoved the present inside.
Phoenix retrieved the gift and, this time, shoved it in Edgeworth's face.
A quick slap of the wrist and the box was back on the desk, red tinsel bow askew from the fall.
Wright recoiled, contorting his face with shock and rage. He grabbed the present once more, this time, throwing it at Edgeworth's head and tackling the poor attorney, forcing him to the ground. Once on the ground, Miles was straddled, with the mistreated present shoved into his cheek.
A lot of effort involved in gift giving, especially when the thing being given is a Steel Samurai Ken doll.
They have those, you know.
And, for what must have been the third time that week, Phoenix Wright was escorted out of the building and a new rule was tacked onto the list of things disallowed in the DA's office.
Well, once again, Happy Holidays!
A Funny Story For Those Who Would Like to Read About Verbal Abuse. (HOLIDAY EXTRA)
The last week before break, I was feeling really shitty. Headaches, dizziness, lethargy, all that, but I had a lot on my plate for the week, so I decided to only take one day off so I could recover and finish the week out. (I ended up cramming 5 quizzes, two tests, a midterm, and a gigantic project into 4 days).
So I'm at home, lounging around as only a semi-sick person can. I meander downstairs around lunch time, ready for some soup and SNL, when my phone rings. It's my bestie, Rebeccer! Our conversation begins as I crack open a can of chicken corn chowder and start heating it up. She regales me with the happy tales of the day.
She begins by teasing me with a story (LIE) about how much my crush missed me. After my vehment dismissal, she moved onto our main story. My genius friend, let's call him Super Asian (because he is), who has been learning how to be a dirty little bastard has struck again. You have to understand, however, that Super Asian is usually very calm and innocent. We've been working on his corruption fo about two years now and we are just beginning to see it's effects.
For Lang, we had to split up into groups. I zoomed to Rebeccer, of course, then she and I chose our other friend and Super Asian to partner with. This was before we could officially form groups, though, so the arrangement had to stay under the table. Monday, the day I was absent, was the official signing of the groups.
This one kid, who we shall call Liz T. Feathers for reasons of a completely hilarious inside joke, decided he would like to pilfer my spot in their group. Firstly, no one in this group enjoys this kid and Rebeccer usually makes it known. This time, she didn't have to.
Liz T. Feathers: Can I join your group?
Rebeccer: No, xXKanpekiXx (replacing my real name here) is already with us.
Liz T. Feathers: Then we can be a group of five!
Super Asian: No! You cannot join our group! No one here likes you, please go away!
Isn't he the best? He often alludes to me being a whore, but that's ok! XD But this is just one heartwarming story for the season.
Happy Holidays, Everyone!