Dear Author,

I would like to identify some mistakes on your part in the history of the courting of one Mr. Remus Lupin. Please do not feel offended, for these are common misconceptions, but certain physical, emotional, and lovable attributes are portrayed in correctly.
Here-in contains the list of all misconceptions on your part, and some by others, about Remus Lupin.

First off, Remus Lupin is not short.

Remus is often portrayed as being small, even petite, but that is not the case. In fact, in third year, there was such a vast difference in our heights that one could find their pants by observing leg length. Wasn't always like that, though. He used to be shorter than me, and he would look up when I'd ask him a question with that dangerous look in his eyes, not that he found it dangerous, but I found that curious expression very, very dangerous.

Next, Remus Lupin is Blonde.

Remus Lupin does not have brown hair. Its not possible. If he had brown hair, he would just be one hulking mass of walking chocolate, with his brown eyes, brown color schemed attire, brown shoes, and even his cloak was brown, well, it was actually black, but it had been worn to brow.
I cannot stress enough that his hair is golden hued, and that when one walks with him in the summer, you will find it is a difficult task to ignore the way the sun shines off at odd angles, making it all out of focus, but when he turns and asks what you're staring at, his face is perfectly in focus and your heart gets a jolt.

Remus Lupin does not have scars littering his body.

He has a stray scar here and there, but all in all, a werewolf's physical healing abilities are immense, leaving no tell tale signs of anything but significant wounds. However, he does often look worn, in a way that makes you want to just stop what you're doing him and comfort him then and there, even though you're not really sure

Remus Lupin does not smell like 'woods', 'chocolate' or 'sexy'.

In all reality, he smells like pumpkin juice. Because when he eats dinner, the first thing he will do is down one full goblet of juice, then commence his eating. He will then once he is finished with dinner have another goblet full of juice, and continue this pattern at every meal. Do it for seven years, and you will smell like pumpkin juice too. A very, very appealing pumpkin juice, with dangerous eyes and out of focus hair.

Remus Lupin does not live in the library.

Although one can often find the young boy in the library, it is not his hobby or his home-place. He simply gets his work done quickly. However, he will say he is going to the library, leading you on, when you actually find him snogging in the broom cupboard with some frisky redheaded Ravenclaw, and he will laugh, and you will laugh, even though you really want to punch that frisky Ravenclaw.

And most importantly, for it seems many people are mistaken on such an obvious matter, Remus Lupin is not my boyfriend.

However much I love all his delicate movements, the way he moves his mouth when he talks, the way his fingers nimbly work away with his shirt buttons at night, or how much I adore the faces he makes when he's telling a story, or that infectious chuckle of his, it starts out slow, then hell pause, and it will grow louder and higher in pitch, until every person around him is giggling with him, or how he always falls asleep next to the common room fire like a cat, No, no matter how much I love Remus Lupin, he does not love me.
That is all I wanted to tell you, please bare in mind these facts when you create your next work of literature, and do your best to respect them.

Best Regards, Sirius Black.