Spawn walks into his apartment after a long day's work as a janitor for microsoft. His day was terrible, some jerk at the office had a booze birthday party and unfortunately for Spawn, cake and booze don't mix well. Spawn fell backwards onto his couch and was about to relax until he was greeted by his wife, the red haired She-Spawn who was wearing a robe over her symbiotic costume which covered her athletic body.
"Spawn, we need to talk," She-Spawn began.
"Not now Angie," Spawn said exhausted.
"Don't you 'not now' me asshole!" she raised her voice and wagged her index finger. "Spawn, I'm going to get straight to the point, I want a baby."
Spawn stood up sternly. "Woman we're dead, we can't have babies!"
Angela aka She-Spawn put her hands on her hips. "Oh but you'll go around and screw your ex and birth the goddamn AntiChrist!"
"Don't you bring her into this!" Spawn defended his ex-wife.
"SHUT UP!" Ghost Rider yelled as he barged through his neighbors door. "They're showing a goddamn, uncensored 'Friday the 13th' marathon and your bitching is ruining it!"
Ghost Rider left the Spawn's apartment and went back to his own right across from theirs.
"Why the fuck do you always protect your ex-wife?" Angela asked her husband.
"Well...what do you want me to say?" Spawn pathetically questioned.
"Damn it Spawn! It's been 5 years, she's moved on, why can't you!?" she continued to argue.
"She's the one who started all this! Hell if it weren't for her you'd never meet me!"
Spawn's excuse didn't convince his wife. "Yeah, after you knocked her up!"
Ghost Rider barges in again. "SHUT UP!" He leaves back to his apartment.
"Why do you still bring that up?" Spawn questioned Angela.
"Because you'll give her a baby that'll probably destroy the whole world yet you refuse to start a family with me!" she yelled.
"For the last time, SHUT UP!" Ghost Rider barged in one more time.
"You shut up asshole!" Spawn insulted the other anti-hero from Hell.
"THAT'S IT!" Ghost Rider exploded and stomped towards the 2 hellspawns. He towered over them at 7'5 and even though he was a flaming skeleton, he was able to lift the 2 hellspawns up to his head.
5 minutes later
Ghost Rider had Spawn and She-Spawn chained to their couch.
"What are you going to do?" Spawn questioned his fellow hell warrior.
"I...am going to teach you 2...why you don't argue while I'm watching a movie and waiting for pizza." Ghost Rider said as he tightend the chains.
"What're you going to do, use your stare?" She-Spawn questioned.
"Oh no, I have something much worse in store for you 2," Ghost Rider said sinisterly.
"What's that?" Spawn asked. After looking into Ghost Rider's eyes, he knew what was about to happen was 10 times worse than Ghost Rider's stare.And he was right when Ghost Rider took out a dvd.
"You're going to punish it us with a dvd?" She-Spawn questioned.
"It's not just any dvd! It's the unrated cut of 'I Know Who Killed Me'," Ghost Rider explained.
"No please, anything but that!" She-Spawn pleaded.
"We promise we'll never argue again!" Spawn yelled.
"It's too late for that!" Ghost Rider yelled before he wired the Spawn family's eyes open and put on the tv and popped in the dvd. He left the 2 Spawn's to their torture and left but not before stealing the triple fudge ice-cream and kool-aid from their freezer.
1 and a half hours later
Ghost Rider came back once the movie was over and saw that Spawn and Angela were right where he left them.
"Now, have we learned our lesson?" Ghost Rider said as he undid She-Spawn's chains and eye wires.
"YES!" she cried when she was free. "I'll never argue with my husband while you're watching a movie marathon! I love you Spawn, I'm sorry!"
She hugged her husband while crying but then realized he wasn't saying anything. She thought he was ignoring her but she then realized that he was drooling.
"What's happend to him?" she asked.
"Oh he's just lobotomized. He'll come to in about half an hour." he explained.
A/N: I just wanted to try something new and show the side of the other heroes in the Hero Clerks universe. I always felt that Spawn needed to move on eventually and to me, Ghost Rider always felt like the 'Fuck you and leave me alone' type of guy.
Disclaimer: I don't own Spawn or She-Spawn, they're properties of Image. Ghost Rider is property of Marvel. I also don't own Angela, she belongs to Neil Gaiman and Todd McFarlane, I only own the idea to make Angela She-Spawn