DISCLAIMER: The characters of InuYasha are not mine, they are property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

To All Fan Fiction Writers:

From: Kagome H.

Hello everyone out in fantasy land. My name is Kagome. Yes, I am the Shikon no Tama miko that some of you just cannot stop writing about. How do I know about this, you wonder? Well, I do live in this day and age. I DO come home every once in a while. I DO own a computer, you know. My time home is not spent entirely taking tests. By the way, since I brought the subject up, tests are not the only thing I come home for, people!! I sound so boring when all I do is come for tests...

Anyway, I'm sure you are all wondering what I am doing addressing all of you. Frankly, I am, too. See, I was googling the other day and decided to see if any of my fuedal tales had actually made it to the real world. I mean, I am the reason you are all still here, you know. So, I go and google my name and what do I find? Nothing but fan fiction sites. So, curious as is my nature to be, I go and check them out.

Oh. My. God.

Some of you people are sick. Sick and twisted. Sick and twisted and perverted.

So here I am addressing just some of my concerns and thoughts.

First, I would really like to thank those of you who keep me all sweet and innocent and pure. It's nice to be thought of in such a way. Of course, some of you also like to keep me so sweet and innocent and pure that I come off as being very stupid. I am a teenager from the modern time. I know all about sex, people. I may have made the choice to keep my virginity, but I know what sex entails! Some of you also like to believe that I cry at the drop of a hat. I mean, come on already!! I may be ignorant of some things, but I neither cry all the time nor act ridiculously stupid, either. Yes, I admit that there are circumstances that make me cry, but I am human. And yes, there have been times when I have done some incredibly stupid things, but I am a teenager. It's what teens are suppose to do, right? Making mistakes somehow makes them a better person...blah, blah, blah.

ANY WAY! One of the biggest section of stories seems to deal with me and Sesshomaru, too. Sesshomaru, people. The Killing Perfection or whatever you choose to call him, Sesshomaru. That idea made my mouth drop open and I couldn't make a sound for like...forever. Thank God Inuyasha was not with me when I discovered that. Otherwise, I would be one miko minus a computer. While the man is beautiful in his own way, I have never spent a great deal of time around him. Neither has he spent a great deal of time around me. Most of the times we are together, I am watching from the sidelines as he tries to kill Inuyasha for some reason or another.

I can understand why everyone seems to be fascinated by him. We modern women seem to like the aloof, well muscled, silent but deadly type; the typical bad boy that no one will EVER get.

So, since a majority of you are SO fascinated by this demonic member of my little world, I am here to fill you in one a few things.

1) Yes, Sesshomaru is mysterious, but he is also full of himself.

Yes, yes, yes. We all know so little about the real Sesshomaru. He is mysterious and aloof and he does say very little outside of "Die, Inuyasha." He is also full of himself. Have you see the way he strokes his hair?! (As a side note, how in the hell he keeps it clean, I have no idea. If my hair were that long, I'd be sitting on it all the time.) Not to mention that fur thing he wears. He loves to touch that one. Sometimes I wonder exactly what that fur thing is, but then I remember that I don't care to ask questions like that.

2) Sesshomaru does not get me.

Sorry!! Sesshomaru does not get me in the end. I know who I belong to and that is Inuyasha. Yes, we have our problems, but I believe that everything will work out. Besides, I would be a total fool to just throw away all that work I put into making Inuyasha the man I want. Do you have any idea of how much I've gone through for that boy?! Well, I guess you do...

3) Sesshomaru does not get Inuyasha, Kouga, Naraku, or any other male member of my little world.

Sesshomaru is not gay. Neither is Inuyasha, Kouga, or Naraku. Well, I suppose Naraku isn't gay. Don't really know much about him, either. Besides him being evil, that is. I DO know that Naraku has no male anatomy. I did get to see him naked, remember? It was when he got one of his millions of new bodies and stole Kikyo at the same time. It was right after Inuyasha fought those demons in the cave and Kikyo killed the last one with one of her darn arrows. Remember?! If you don't, I'm sure you can find some other fan fiction writer who will.

4) Seshsomaru is not a vampire.

I have never seen Sesshomaru sucking blood out of someone's neck. Don't really know much about dog demons, truth be told, but I do know the tales about vampires and Sesshomaru is not one. For one, he's out and about during the day. For two, he is alive... in his own way. As far as I know, a vampire is the 'living dead'.

5) Sesshomaru does eventually get his hand back, but it is NOT because of me and my miko abilities.

While my ego is more than boosted by these tales in my legendary abilities (even if it's labeled as fiction), Sesshomaru gets his hand back when he proves himself to be greater than his father or something like that. I was almost passed out at the moment, so I'm not all that sure. I doubt he'd let me touch him long enough to even try something like that, but why would I want to? He'd just have another appendage to try and kill me with! Besides, I don't think my abilities go in that general direction. He is a demon, after all, and I am a miko. Mikos were put here to end demonic lives. Not make them all better...

6) Sesshomaru is not a walking sex maniac.

Nope, not a walking sex maniac. Or, at least if he is, he hides it very well. Very well. I'm sure all of you remember him walking by that Kagura woman not caring that she was practically naked. And I think he actually liked her. Now what kind of lust filled man could pass an opportunity like that? You got a half naked woman who WANTS you and you walk on by her because you are so good. Yeah. Let me repeat. Not a walking sex maniac.

Well, you know who is at my window. I guess that means my time here in the "real world" is done and over with. I must add before I jaunt off to flaunt my "flawless long legs" in my most "indecent kimono" that I have really enjoyed reading a lot of your tales. By all means, please do not let my comments keep you from writing your wonderful (if sometimes sick and twisted) fan fiction stories. I find myself actually looking forward to it the next time I'm back here for "a test". Reading them is wonderful stress relief and you, of all groups of people, should know what kind of stress I am under.

Oh! And another thing before I have to go, my dear fan fiction writers. I don't think there are that many hot springs in all of Japan. It would surprise you to know that I do not get to bathe every night. I wish I could, but, sadly, I do not. Almost every story I've read so far, I am the cleanest woman in the world. And I really wish I did know how I smelled so everyone could agree upon a scent for me. Maybe the next time I'm around Sesshomaru, I'll ask him. According to Inuyasha I smell good, but he's never really expounded upon the subject. It's not really his thing to do, but I guess you know that, too.

Sincerely yours,

Kagome

fin

A/N: This was just some mindless dribble. I LOVE my Sess/Kag fics almost as much as I LOVE my Fluffy-sama. And I am quite happily guilty of reading the very types of fics I so badly wrote about above. I know there's tons of different views, but this is a humorous piece which means it is not to be taken seriously. All my love and admiration to my reviewers and those who just want to read this.