If you are looking for intense RK actions… this piece won't be for you, unfortunately. I am a little disappointed at the lack of RK love in here… but it struck me in math class and I simply couldn't resist. XD I don't own anything, like all the other RKs I've written.
Another Daydream in Another Night
His fingernails scratched repetitively across his skin, leaving behind faint criss-crossed white lines. The flesh grew pink before he finally eased the back and forth motion.
He couldn't sleep, for yet another night.
The curtains were still in the hot air. The door was closed, preventing ventilation, creating a box that nothing can leave and nothing can enter. A small room, barricaded from inside out.
Metal clashing against metal and the cold knife that dug deep into warm flesh. He heard the slashing of blades in the corners. The darkness tied a blindfold around his eyes and he only had his left over senses, dulled by the suffocating air that bounded him to the confinements of the hot white sheets.
He heard the sound of fires, the crackling of twigs as they disintegrated into ash. The warmth as each tip licked at his skin. He could smell the sick aroma of burning flesh. A silent scream and then the soft pained sob that followed, it was always the same.
His heart was pounding against his rib cage as he lay there on the bed stiff, fingernails digging deeper into the pale red patch of skin.
The cracking of a whip snapped the small room in half, the end of it lashed out against the stone walls, cutting fresh scars into gray. The sound reverberated against his eardrums like a stretched note in a song. An ear splitting scream and there in the background he could feel as a tear finally escaped past his pursed eyelids.
Another weakness, another hallucination to pass the stuffy nights.
He woke up, just like any other night. The thin sheet of linens fell off his shoulders just as the sweat glided right into the dip of his spine. Quick breaths of heated air escaped from his lips in the form of quiet pants. His nails gripped tightly at the white sheets before realization dawned on him and he let go, reluctance tied to his fingertips.
He brushed away the strands of black that were plastered against his forehead. The effects of rushing adrenaline slowly seeped from him, almost like how it would towards the end of a blood throbbing battle. The sheets were peeled from his body and his feet touched ground.
Hard solid cold tiles that sent a shiver skimming up to his mind.
The notice was quickly sent to the brain, ridden with the aftermath from the unwanted visions before. He pulled his feet back up for a short second, but only out of instincts. And then he stood up, bare feet padding quietly against the floor of his room. The stuffy heated air made him sway slightly; resting a hand on the doorknob to steady himself, he turned it with little to no thoughts.
Another night, another hallway that he will have to pass to face that familiar door.
He didn't knock; he knew it wasn't locked.
It swung open, hinges made with fresh metal. The clasps didn't shout in protest and squeak from old age. The door opened and he finally looked up, blue eyes blinking in blurred confusion as his paling skin was illuminated by a warm orange glow.
"Mornin' so soon, Yuu?" He scribbled the last word on the page before looking up. Eye squinting as he tried to get use to the sudden difference in distance.
The other opened his mouth, no sounds came out. His gaze harden into ice and his lips pursed shut before he gave the red head a definite shake of his head, signifying the answer: not yet, you idiot.
"Come in, the hallways are cold." He didn't seem to mind at the other's lack of vocal reply or the insult behind his glare. He simply lay down the ink pen on a clean surface of his desk, careful not to stain the completed documents sitting on the right side.
The door closed, a cold draft of air blew in as it curled into the slightly warmer air of the Bookman successor's room. The candles flickered among the lit lamps; the white hot light bulbs gave off a silent buzzing as the electricity continued to pass by the wire inside.
The first time he stopped in front of Rabi's door, he asked himself why?
Why him out of the entire Order?
He waited in silence as the low murmurs of machinery crawled in the background, gliding a quiet tune beneath the walls of this tower. The cold draft crawled up the shaft of his pants and all he had for an answer was the slashing of a metallic edge against human flesh.
"Don't worry the Panda won't jump out at you. He is out for a mission, left just a few hours ago." His vibrant tone of voice snapped him out of his intense daydream in the middle of the night.
"I got to pull an all-nighter, the Panda left a lot of work for me to finish." He playfully stuck his tongue from between his parted lips. "I can't hug my Yuu-chan to sleep tonight…" He gave a depressed sigh followed by a comical droop of his head.
"Don't… call me that."
The words left his lips, cutting his throat apart, slashing its way through the contracted muscles of his windpipe.
"Sorry, Yuu." He looked up again, grin spread across his cheeks. "Old habits die hard."
He finally moved his feet, the pads of each foot brushed lightly along the tiles in the room. He could feel the rigid edges of the large cracks sliding teasingly along his skin. "You don't even try, Rabi." The bed dipped under the weight of his body.
"But Yuu sounds so much better than Kanda." He tilted the four-legged chair on to two legs. "And adding a chan to it just makes it all the more polite." His lips pulled in opposite direction in order to supply the red head with his superior bubbly grin.
He crossed his arms over his bare chest in a huff of annoyance. "Learn better Japanese before coming back to talk to me."
The red head gave a laugh that almost send him tumbling backwards if he had not reached out in time to grab the edge of his desk. The two legs of the chair that used to dangle in the air snapped to the ground and the back legs scratched at the floor, noisily in the quiet night.
"Baka." He rubbed at his eyes, feeling the sore skin there as he muttered, half amuse at Rabi's antics. "You never cease to amaze me with your stupidity." The lips slowly stretched into a thin smile that was barely there.
Rabi caught sight of the faint tilting of the pink mouth, the sense of worry directed towards his fellow occupant finally settled down at the bottom of his stomach. The butterflies no longer fluttered their wings as they sat down, awaiting sleep.
Another night, another worry seemed to disappear, only to start up tomorrow again.
"Your bed its cold." He stated as his head hit the pillow, suddenly a sense of the stuffy room rushed into his head. The heat, the cries and the dark shadowed hands that tried to grab at his ankles from beneath the bed. They were all still there, back in his room, screaming for his return.
"I wish I could warm it up for you too." His voice tore the hallucinations in pieces, he directed his half glazed eyes towards the red head. Rabi twirled a pen between two fingers as he expertly balanced on two legs of a chair once more.
He lay on the bed, fresh cloth cool against his skin. His blue eyes followed the rapid movements of the pen dancing between Rabi's fingers. He turned his head, taking in the intoxicating scent of Rabi as his nose brushed against the pillow case.
"You should wash your sheets, they smell like you." He accused shortly, feeling the warm glow of a candle stick near by as his eyes slid shut.
"I will do it tomorrow, Yuu." The grin shriveled into a faint smile the moment his green eye caught the fluttering of long black lashes. "Sleep for now."
"…Hm." He acknowledged the other's words with a noise from deep within his chest, it came out as a light groan. The two settled for it, the sound without a meaning behind it.
Another night, another sound and then all was silent.
He tossed and turned on the bed for the first half an hour, sheets shuffling over his skin. His long black hair tangling themselves before intertwining within each other. It spread over the pillow in a pool of messy spilt ink. His arms stretched out from beneath the endless white sheets, exposing the pale flesh in the heavy candlelight.
Rabi's pen scratched at the paper, word after word poured on to the page. Flowing in a pool of letters and grammar, he continued to write. A dry scratchy noise scrapped across the page as the tip of the pen ran out of ink. He turned to cast a look with the corner of his eye, afraid that the slightest noise will wake the light sleeper on his bed.
His chest rose up and down, slowly but surely as another breath escaped his lips. His eyes were shut tight; Rabi noticed the darker shade of skin around his eyes. The proof of his daily lack of sleep.
He wasn't insomniac. He could sleep fine, just not exactly well, especially when he was so sensitive. Rabi wasn't exactly clear of why he arrived at his door so many nights ago, the first time to this late night routine. He asked himself one question when he pulled the locked door open to find Yuu, hair down, eyes half closed, swaying at the door frame.
Why him of all the other choices in the Order?
The answer was a rude shove in the chest as Yuu muttered something along the lines of 'get out of my face' before he climbed into his bed in a daze. Rabi never asked the question because he wasn't sure he wanted to know the weaknesses behind that cold exterior.
He followed after Yuu without another word that night.
His eye caught sight of red lines scratched deep into the skin of his arm. He turned his head to get a better angle, fingernail markings. Rabi leaned over to get a closer look, only to see the faint white lines that scarred over as pink on the pale skin. The pink scratches may not be intentional, but the deep red ones definitely were.
"Yuu…" He couldn't help but let out his name as he tore his gaze away.
The first sign of self-abuse?
No, Yuu would never let them push him this close to the edge.
Rabi had his suspicions of what was going on in Yuu's mind. He didn't ask because he didn't want confirmation, he simply guessed during nights when he waited in bed for the other exorcist to come in. He dipped his pen into the jar of ink as the next words revealed themselves to him in his mind.
And Rabi came to the conclusion that they were in Yuu's room late at night, when the sun doesn't shine and all there was were darkness stretching on and on. They, as in Yuu's memories, regrets, fears, and all those negative emotions he has bottled on inside.
When all he needed to do was to let it out. But pride closed the bottle and guilt buried it deeper into the confined corners of his room. Maybe it was the screams of the Akumas that he had killed, or the blames of the people that he couldn't save. His past before the Black Order stepped in could also be part of it all.
But Rabi wasn't sure and he wasn't about to ask because he didn't want to be the one that Kanda Yuu may confide in. He didn't want to share that pain of all those unfortunate daydreams that has crawled into the nights.
Yes, he was selfish but the choice was clear. Black and white even as he scrawled yet another line on the page.
He simply couldn't afford to loose his apprenticeship because of the weak softening of his own heart.
His eyes rested on the calm breathing coming from the Oriental lying on his bed. Sheets now tangled between his long legs, it slipped off his bare shoulder, exposing unhealthy pale skin.
Rabi reached over and tugged the sheets up his neck before leaning back into the seat, ink pen resting on his unused hand.
"You really need to learn how to take care of yourself, Yuu." He gave a smile, his lips curving into just the right shape before he settled to watch the Japanese, finally resting at peace for tonight. "I can't be here for you forever."
No matter how much I would have liked to.
Sad? A little but I think this one is pretty realistic as far as I have written RK fics XD Since my last fic had Kanda comforting Rabi, I guess I had to switch the roles in this one. XD Oh man… let's hope my RKs aren't decreasing in the levels of love. QnQ Review?