Disclaimer: Still do not own 'em.
Summary: Post Purgatory. It breaks her heart because she's wanted it for so long, and yet now she's wondering if he even means it. BA
Author's Note: Saw Purgatory today - I loved it, I loved Eames, I completely understand where she is coming from. Logically she shouldn't be so dramatic, but still that doesn't stop those feelings. Anyway here is a little post-ep thingo. Enjoy. Also hasn't been beta'd.
She could remember pointing her gun at his head.
She could remember the sick realisation that he'd been undercover all along.
She could remember the anger, the fury, the rage she had felt at him.
She'd rather not remember it in all honesty. The logical part of her mind told her that everything he had done had been done not to harm her, just to get his badge back, his life back. She believed him when he said that, but that made it hurt more. She was there for him no matter what. Didn't he think she was capable? Screw the rules - they were partners, honesty was everything. She wasn't fragile, she didn't need to be kept safe.
She snorted, and settled onto her couch, staring blankly at the TV. She knew him better, he didn't think of her like that, and yet she knew it was true. Wether she liked it or not, working alone, working with Blaine, had been nice. For once she'd made those discoveries, she'd proven to herself that she was still a good cop and not a tag along.
But it still hadn't stopped the sense of emptiness at the crime scenes.
Hadn't stopped the lack of his presence.
She now understood why Carolyn Barek had left the Feds. She'd always taken working with partners for granted, and now with Carolyn's lament on partners, she knew she shouldn't have. She sighed, and wondered if that had been one of Bobby's motivations in getting his badge back. She knew from the Bishop incident that she was Bobby's brand of coke.
She grinned at the thought, but her face soured. Coke...fucking drugs, they screwed up so many lives it wasn't even funny. But it was still true, all true.
He couldn't cope without her...
And she without him...
She shook her head, she could cope without him, she could. She knew that was a lie though. Everyday for the last five months she'd looked patiently at his desk, expecting him to be there, wanting him to be there. And that's why it hurt so much...because she had wanted him to feel the same way, and he didn't because if he had, he would've told her, right?
Everything was a mess.
She sighed, and looked at the flimsy piece of paper, that was in her hands. She drew in a deep breath, and swallowed deeply, as tears began to fall.
He wrote Alex...not Eames.
Translation 'I love you, I can't live without you'.
And yet as she held the piece of paper she didn't know if he meant it or not.
Because everything was a mess.
And they were now stuck in Purgatory.