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My beta is on holiday so this chapter wasn't checked. I apologize for any mistakes!
Chapter 10 - Declarations
While climbing the stairs to Edward's apartment I could already hear the sound of a piano and knew for sure it was him playing. The soft melody filled the hall to his apartment and I couldn't help but to smile. He truly was an amazing pianist.
I knocked on the door once and opened it with the key he had given me a few weeks ago. He stopped for a second but started playing again when he saw it was me.
I dropped my things on the couch and walked towards him. He smiled at me from his spot and when I reached him, he stopped playing once again so he could kiss me properly. His hands went to my hips and I immediately moved mine to his hair.
"Keep playing, please." I leaned in to softly kiss his lips again and went to sit on the couch so I could listen and see him properly.
He winked at me before turning his attention back to the piano. His fingers ran lightly along the keys, bringing to live the songs I liked the best. He was an amazing pianist. I knew it was probably my inner fan girl manifesting herself but everything seemed to sound even better when played by him.
He would slightly move his body from side to side while playing and close his eyes. He truly was at his natural environment at these moments and looked absolutely beautiful…
I closed my eyes and concentrated on the music playing around me. Edward and I have been together for about three months now and he found a way of making each single day amazing.
We have been spending most of our evenings here at his apartment. I would always come over after work and we would often cuddle in the couch, laughing at silly TV shows or bad movies. He would also help me make dinner every night and would prepare breakfast for me in the morning when I stayed over.
I felt like I could tell him anything. He didn't judge me, was always listening attentively and seemed to think my ramblings were fascinating. He would just as easily tell me what was on his mind, letting me know exactly what his thoughts on several subjects were.
I would stay with him most nights, as well. I had gained the habit of sleeping with him beside me and couldn't seem to have a decent night of sleep when he wasn't close to me. I missed the weight of his arm around me, making me feel warm and safe.
The truth is that I enjoyed making love with him and lying in his arms after it too much to stay too many nights away from him. I loved how he would let me cuddle in his arms as I pleased and would play with the strands of my hair until I fell asleep.
How a man like him was with me, I still couldn't figure out. There was nothing special about me but yet, he was still here. He was still mine. Did he feel for me half of what I felt for him? It seemed more than unlikely…
I had no doubts he liked me but what I felt for him was so strong he couldn't possibly feel the same way for me.
With a sigh I opened my eyes to look at the amazing man, who was playing for me.
I ran my hands along the keys of the piano; playing the songs I knew Bella liked the best. She was scanning my cd collection now, while very slowly and absentmindedly swaying her hips in rhythm with the song I was playing.
I smiled to myself while watching her every move. She was more gracious than anyone, including herself, gave her credit for. I was truly lucky to have found someone like Bella, who enjoyed the same kind of music I did. Someone who didn't mind listening to me play the piano. Someone who was just so beautiful. Someone who could easily make me love her with my whole being.
How could I have left two months pass since I found out, without telling her I loved her?
As the song I was playing came to an end she turned to look at me and smiled.
"You play beautifully." I got up and ran a hand along her back while she placed the cd she was holding in the shelf next to my piano.
"Thank you my love." She immediately stopped what she was doing to look at me.
"What was that?" She might have not realized it the other two times but now she had definitely heard me call her love. I felt surprisingly calm. "What did you just call me exactly?"
I placed one hand on her chin, making her look straight at me and ran my fingertips along her jaw to her cheek.
"My love." She took a deep breath and a somewhat confused expression appeared on her face.
"Why?" Why? Because that was what she was to me. Wasn't she able to see it?
"I thought it was quite clear." She still looked confused, maybe even more so than before.
"What? What is suppose to be clear, Edward?" I moved closer to her and placed one hand on her waist, never breaking eye contact. This was the moment I had been waiting for; this was my chance to finally say it to her. Maybe it wasn't how I imagined it would be exactly. To say the truth I had something much more romantic planned, but somehow this moment seemed like the perfect time.
"I love you." I cupped her face in my hands and kissed the corner of her mouth before pulling back to look into her eyes again. "I love you Bella. I thought everyone could see it, knew it…" Although she was still looking at me her eyes were unfocused and she was whispering to herself while lost in her thoughts.
"Maybe they could…" She took a deep breath and refocused on me. "You love me? You truly do love me?" Why was she questioning it? Wasn't it evident I did? Couldn't she believe it? Hadn't I been able to express my feelings correctly?
"I do." She shook her head and tried to look down but my hands still on her face didn't allow her to do so.
"It seems highly unlikely…"
"Why?" Don't you…" It was my turn to take a deep breath. "Don't you feel the same?" I didn't know what I would do if she told me she didn't. She shook her head and placed her hands on my chest.
"It's not that. It seems impossible because you're perfect and I'm far from that. Because I don't know why or how you can be mine, how you can find me interesting at all…" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I knew she was sometimes unsure about herself but how could she think she was anything else but astonishing or awe –inspiring?
"I'm not perfect Bella, I'm far from it. You regard me in the way because I try to be like that for you. You make me be so much better." She shook her head but didn't try to look away from me this time. "And you? You are beautiful, my love, you are amazing and lovely and endearing, especially when you blush." I kissed both of her cheeks lightly. "I love the way you walk, the way you talk, how you bite your lower lip, how you sit still for hours reading a book, how you always hum a song when you're cooking and even how you always manage to trip on your own feet. I love everything about you. You don't realize how breathtaking or astonishing you are. You do so many things daily that make me fall even deeper in love with you! Things that I find fascinating and you don't even notice." She closed her eyes and leaned into me while taking a deep breath. I wanted her to see herself the same way I did. I wanted her to see herself clearly, see how she was an amazing creature.
I let her bury her head in my chest and held her closer to me. Soon after I felt her move in order to kiss my jaw before pulling back to look at me.
"I love you Edward." My heart seemed to stop before picking up pace again. A part of me knew Bella felt the same way I did but the other part wasn't so sure. That other part was afraid she couldn't love me with the same intensity I loved her.
My love for her was so immense, strong and deep I wasn't sure it was possible for anyone else to feel like I did.
That was one of the reasons her insecurities towards herself affected me so much, stabbed me deep in my chest even. All I wanted was for her to feel loved, feel treasured and understand l how important she was. I wanted her to know how much I missed her when she wasn't near.
I moved one of my hands to her hair and made her tilt her head to the side so I could kiss her slowly and she kissed me back just as gently. Her lips were soft on mine and one of her little hands moved to my hair, pulling me closer to her.
"I was beginning to think I was doing this the wrong way." I buried my face in her hair, feeling the smell of strawberries from her shampoo.
"I don't think you would ever be able to do it wrong..." She softly kissed my neck and placed her head on my chest again. "I'm sorry I didn't answer right away I just wasn't expecting it and couldn't see how you can think I'm worth…." I placed one finger on her lips, making her stop talking and pulled back so I could look at her.
"Sshh, don't say that Bella. How can I prove to you that I love you? How can I show you how beautiful you are?"
"I believe you. I believe you love me too Edward." I kissed the tip of her nose, content to know she believed in my love. Now I just had to find a way of making her see how truly beautiful she was.
"But you don't believe me when I say that you're beautiful."
"I believe that, for some reason unknown to me, that is how you see me, but I know I'm not." I shook my head and moved to kiss her face several times before speaking near her ear.
"I'll show you. I'll find a way of showing you how beautiful you are soon enough." She bit her lip and nodded unsure before running her fingers along my face and smiling slightly.
"Ok." I took her hand that was on my face in mine and kissed it.
I picked her up and took her to my bedroom where I gently laid her down on bed. I slowly took her clothes off and placed kisses all over her body with the intent of showing her just how beautiful she truly was.
Being a Saturday I woke up late when the sunlight started to come in the bedroom.
I slowly opened my eyes and looked at Bella's sleeping form in my arms. Her head was resting on my chest and her hand was covering my heart. Her long brown hair was spread on her pillow and she had a peaceful look on her face.
How could she not see how amazing and beautiful she was? I wrapped my arms more strongly around her for a second and buried my nose in her hair. I felt amazingly comforted and happy knowing I had finally said I loved her and that she felt the same way for me.
I stood quiet for a few more minutes until I kissed the top of her head and slowly got up in order not to wake her up.
I went to the kitchen and started to prepare our breakfast. Cooking has never been my specialty but she seemed to like my pancakes so I gladly made them for her.
I was placing the pancakes on the plate when she came into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around me, kissing my neck.
I turned around so I could wrap my arms around her waist and lifted her up so she was sitting in the counter.
"Good morning, love." I kissed her lips softly before turning my attention to her neck.
"Good morning." She wounded her fingers in my hair and sighed when I lightly bit her neck. "Hey, you made pancakes!" I chuckled against her neck and moved to kiss her lips quickly.
"Yes, I did." I placed my hands on her waist again and helped her off the counter. "Come on; let's eat before it gets cold."
She sat down and started to eat quietly. I moved my hand across the table and took hers in it, wounding our finger together.
When we finished eating I took the plates to the sink while Bella remained sited. It seemed like the right time to ask her something I've been meaning to.
"Bella?" I tuned to look at her and smiled slightly.
"My mother is throwing a little party this weekend for my father's birthday and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me…"
"You want me to meet your parents?" She seemed a little unsure. Almost as if she didn't know if it would bet the right thing to do. I knew she was just worried they wouldn't like her.
"Yes. My mother asked me to invite you. She is dying to meet you." I walked towards her and kneeled down so I could kiss the corner of her mouth. "I think she is beginning to believe Emmett when he tells her you're imaginary." She giggled slightly and leaned in so she could kiss my neck.
My mother had been dying to meet Bella since I first mentioned her. She was more than happy for the fact I had finally found someone I loved and wanted to find out if Bella truly was everything I told her she was.
I was sure she would like Bella. In fact, I knew she already did. She liked Bella for the simple fact that she made me happy.
"Would you like to meet them?" Bella bit her lower lip and slowly nodded.
"Yes. I want to meet them." I leaned in to kiss her lips and ran a hand along her hair. "Do you think they'll like me?"
"I'm sure they will. How could they not?" I smiled and took her hand in mine so we could walk to the living room.
Apparently I really was right when I thought she was worried about my parents not liking her. It was an almost absurd worry. How could they not like her?
I wanted her to meet my parents. It was important for me that they liked each other. I wanted the most important people in my life to be together.
When we got to the living room where Bella put on a DVD and came to sit beside me in the couch. I let her cuddle in my arms as she pleased and wrapped them strongly around her.
Once again I paid no attention to the movie playing in front of me. Bella was a million times more captivating than any movie could be.
After spending the day in Edward's apartment with him I went home to find Alice sitting in the living room couch, flipping through a magazine.
"Hey." I took off my coat and threw my keys to the table.
"What's up?" I went to sit next to her and smiled, anticipating her reaction to what I was going to tell her.
"Edward told me he loved me." Alice did not disappoint me. She threw her magazine away, jumped up and down on the couch and clapped her hands.
"That's amazing and about time too! I mean you can see he loves you just by looking at him!" I smiled again as she went on. "What did you tell him Bella? Please tell me you didn't freak out!"
"Wait Alice! I didn't freak out." I stopped for a second and bit my lower lip. "Well I might have freaked out a little but I did tell him I loved him back. It's the truth after all." Alice sighed overdramatically and rolled her eyes at me.
"I'm glad! Now, tell me why exactly did you freak out?"
"I don't know Alice. Some part of me knew he did love me but then there's that other part…"
"The silly one?" I just shrugged.
"Maybe. The point is that part has a hard time believing it's true."
"Haven't you noticed Edward at all? Have you realized how amazing he is?"
"Yes I have. I don't see what your point is, Bella."
"Maybe I'm just crazy but sometimes I think I'm just not good enough for him…" Alice immediately got up and pointed a finger at me.
"Listen to me Isabella Swan, you are an amazing woman. You're intelligent, you're funny and you're beautiful. Now, if you can't see that you really are crazy!" I opened my mouth to speak but she didn't allow me to do so. "I'm not finished yet! You may not see yourself clearly but Edward definitely does and he knows just how especial you are. You are more than perfect for him. You too are evenly and perfectly balanced. You complete each other and so you belong together." I stood still looking at Alice, completely shocked, until she sat down again and sighed.
"Wow Alice that was quite a speech."
"I know right?" I laughed while shaking my head. "It's the truth Bella."
"Thank you Alice. I was just being silly."
"Any time. I always enjoy opening your eyes" She hugged me tightly and smiled widely.
She was probably right. I was just being overly insecure. I knew Edward liked me; he had only made things to prove that since we met. He was perfect and he loved me.
Edward loved me! I smiled at myself while fully accepting that fact for the first time. He actually loved me as much as I loved him!
It was a deeply comforting feeling. I always thought I would be scared of love, scared of feeling so connect with someone but I didn't. Stupid insecurities aside I had never been so happy.
Edward made me feel safe, comfortable and loved. All I had to do was trust him and allow myself to be happy.
I couldn't ask for a better someone to trust and fall deeply in love with…
I turned my attention back to Alice, who was still looking at me. A look of curiosity was visible on her face.
"There's something else."
"I knew it! What is it?"
"Edward wants me to meet his parents. His mother is throwing a party next weekend for his father's birthday and he wants me to go with him."
"I have to admit, Edward knows how to do it big! A declaration and an invitation all in the same day!"
"Tell me about it!"
"You are going right? Are you excited?"
"I am." She eyed me suspiciously.
"What's the problem now Bella?"
"I really want to meet his parents but what if they don't like me?"
"Do I have to give you another speech? Because I totally have another one prepared!"
"No, there's no need to Alice. I really am excited about it. His parents seem really nice. I'm just a little nervous."
"That's normal. If Jasper asked me to meet his parents I would probably be nervous to." I smiled at her and readjusted my position on the couch.
"So that means things between you and Jasper are going nicely?"
"Yes, they are! So far so good!"
"I'm happy for you Alice."
"Thank you. I'm happy for you too, Bella. It was about time you found someone who loves you and that you love back." Alice moved to hug me once again and went to her room.
I was excited about meeting Edward's parents. The way he talked about them made me curious. They seemed to be amazing and I wanted them to like me.
I hoped I didn't do anything that might embarrass me. At least Edward and Emmett would be there. Their presence would, at least, help me relax. After all, Edward was always able to make me feel comfortable and at ease.
So the Twilight movie premiered here this week and I finally got to see it. I actually liked it! It was better than I thought it would be...