Title: 'Cause Every Night is OBVIOUSLY not Enough
Fandom: Fire Emblem 8: The Sacred Stones
Pairing: Innes x Ephraim, few mentioned other ones
Rating: Hard PG-13? I don't think it's near the R level.
Words: 990
Warnings: There isn't really a setting; I think Ephraim might be a little OoC ; max stupidity
A/N: Okay, so I fail at two things: endings and titles. But anyway, this was mostly for lulz. Kurai humor is evident (Kurai humor is just crack humor with my name in it). The title is a LIE. Anyway--good or bad, please review.


"You like him, or something?" Ephraim asked Innes while the archer was busy writing a letter to his father about their progress.

Innes didn't bother looking up (or bother asking just who 'him' was). Frelia's Prince merely narrowed his eyes, and finished signing his signature at the end of the letter. "Gerik?" He asked nonchalantly, waiting for the ink to dry. "Not in the way you're thinking, no."

A smile came upon Innes' face, "I never knew you to be the jealous type, Ephraim." He tilted his head a little, catching a glimpse of his lover from the corner of his eye. "...Hm, have you been watching us the whole time?"

Ephraim's face was expressionless as always. "You seem to spend more time with him."

Innes almost laughed–almost. If he had, though, the ink container probably would have spilled over the table. "I'm with you at night, almost every night." He replied, grinning. "I can't be with you all the time, Ephraim. I never knew you could be so needy...and whiney like a child."

"Well, 'almost every night' isn't enough."

Innes started, "What the hell are you talking about?"

That same emotionless expression came right back.

"I asked you a question."

Ephraim stared down at him, raising an eyebrow. "You know what I'm talking about."

"You aren't suggesting..." Innes trailed off and glared at him when the other slowly started to nod. "We're going on a march soon," He went on, staring ahead at absolutely nothing. "Later. I promise. You can wait."

And that moment, Gerik slipped on by, throwing a wave Innes' way. The Archer responded with a small nod, a little smile and...

Well, he would have said something, if Ephraim wasn't all over him right now. From behind, he wrapped his arms around Innes' shoulders and moved his face closer, kissing his neck.

Gerik made a U-turn and quickly walked off somewhere.

Innes wanted to destroy him. "E-Ephraim! Get off!" He growled, shaking his fist.

"No." Ephraim dragged his tongue up to his ear, "Unless, of course, you change your mind."

Innes pursed his lips, keeping himself from moaning. If there's one thing he could say Ephraim was good at, it was using his tongue. The man was, like, The Master of Tongue...ing.

Still, that didn't matter. If Gerik could come the hell out of nowhere, then anyone could. Innes blanched–anyone. Syrene, Seth, Moulder (that would be horrible), Joshua (just as bad), Tana (disaster. Total disaster).

And now Ephraim was nibbling; damn it, he was nibbling. One of Innes' few weaknesses (he didn't have many). He closed his eyes and tilted his head to the side, ignoring that triumphant chuckle. "Ephraim...ah..."

"Mmm?"

Innes' eyes slowly reopened and he pulled away. "Right. C'mon, let's go."

Ephraim sneered, slinging an arm around him as if they were 'Best buds fer life', "I knew you'd give in." He taunted.

The Archer remained silent as they walked off to find some secluded place in the town. Oh, so did his little Ephraim think he won? Hah, Innes–Prince of Frelia, son of King Hayden, perfect awesome–never lost to anyone. And he definitely never loses to Ephraim.

So, when they found a shady, secluded section, Innes suggested that "This is the perfect place. Shut up, don't question me. Yeah, get back against that wall." and began doing things that, to quote Forde: 'drove Ephraim wild like his horse when it sees carrots'.

...It really didn't take long to 'drive Ephraim wild'. It also only took three seconds to excite Ephraim's horse.

"You like that?" Innes teased, gently squeezing the bulge in Ephraim's pants. Elapsed time: two minutes.

"Yeah..." He sighed, leaning his head back.

Innes crushed their mouths together and began kissing him, parting his lips immediately. Ephraim groaned somewhat, doing the same; pshaw, if there was one (of the many) things Innes was good at, it was kissing. And here, Ephraim's tonguing skills would never match up to his own.

Well, no one ever matched up with Innes, but still–he was completely 'ravishing' his mouth.

He pushed against Ephraim, one hand massaging his crotch, the other playing with his hair.

"Want me to...?" Innes didn't have to finish, because Ephraim started going on one of his 'Yes, yes' trips. Sometimes it was hot, and others, it amused him to no end. "Alright then."

He wrenched the front of his trousers forward, started to slip his hand inside and then...

Did nothing.

Innes let go, causing Ephraim to show an expression he never used: surprise.

"Hah," Innes snorted, burring his face in the crook of Ephraim's neck. "Not here, we're not doing it here."

"Why?"

"Because we're getting ready to move, Prince Ephraim"

Innes turned his face, looking off to the left. And there was Joshua, standing there, flipping his stupid coin.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Joshua shrugged, "I have no real reason. I'm just here." He pulled something out of his...somewhere and held it up. "Innes, a Pegasus Knight is here to send your letter. And Ephraim...well, Seth's looking for you." He stared and began to smile, "But I can go tell them that you two are...hm, 'busy' with each other, if you want."

Innes stared at Joshua for a few more seconds–while still fondling Ephraim–before drawing away. The swordsman gave him an amused smirk when he walked towards him, snatching the letter from his hands.

"Thank you, Joshua," Innes snapped, half-glaring at him. "Tell that knight I'll be there soon. And tell General Seth Ephraim will be with him shortly."

"A direct message from Prince Innes?"

At Joshua's smartass remark, the archer just glowered. With a laugh, the redhead sauntered back to camp. Ephraim, after hurriedly fixing himself up, stood by his lover's side.

"I wonder...do you like him, or something?"

Ephraim's eyebrows raised, "Who?"

"General Seth."

"If you're thinking in that way, no."

Innes nodded his head, "You two are together a great deal..."