Stop Them From Making Me
By The Alternative Source
Disclaimer: I don't own the Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. But it doesn't stop me from writing about it.
Author's Note: This is a little moment probably after the episode "Samson and Delilah."
'There are things that you don't know about me. There are secrets that even future you don't know. And you will never be able to tell because I hide it from you so well. I stand by the window and look out at the neighborhood making sure that everything is safe like the good machine that I am. But that wasn't always what I was. You probably thought that I never had anything John. No memories. No emotions. You're wrong.'
Cameron touched her face as if expecting tears to be streaming down her face. When she felt none she touched the glass on the window. It was cool to her touch. They thought she couldn't feel. But they were wrong.
'I can feel the chill.'
Cameron turned her head and looked at John. He was standing by the open doorway. When she didn't respond he walked into the room. Watching him walk towards her she turned her head back to the window.
"We need to talk," he said when he reached her side.
"About what John?"
"About what happened earlier."
Cameron didn't look at him. But if she had a heart it would have been beating erratically. She knew what he was talking about. He was talking about when she told him that she loved him. She would have to lie.
"It was simply a technique to stop you from shutting me down."
She heard John sigh. He was disappointed but she couldn't look at him right now. She was ashamed, "Cameron?"
"It's late John. Tomorrow we start a new school. It's best if you get some sleep."
He stood there for a couple seconds before placing a hand on her shoulder, "Good night, Cameron," and then she heard his retreating footsteps. She looked back for a second and caught a glance at him before he turned the corner on the way to his room.
She had pushed him away for his own good but that didn't mean that it didn't bother her. She had reverted back to her original terminator programming and she couldn't stand to look him in the eye in fear that he would see the remorse in her eyes that she supposedly couldn't possess.
How she wished she could follow him and explain everything. Looking at her hand she moved her fingers. She wasn't always like this. She wasn't always a hunk of metal. And even when they created her they had not been able to erase her original memories. They had not been able to replace the part of her that made her different from all the other Terminators.
She heard footsteps and to her surprise Derek entered the room. She looked at him for a couple of seconds before turning around and again looking out the window. Derek walked further into the room and stood beside her in silence.
"Your chip…" Derek began.
"Is alright. I performed diagnostics on it," Cameron finished his sentence. She closed her eyes for a second as more memories were unlocked. She gave a groan as she felt them flood her head. Derek backed away when he heard the Terminator groan in pain.
"What's wrong with you?"
Cameron didn't respond as memories flashed before her eyes.
-She was running through a gray hallway with tears streaming down her face.
-They had caught her and where replacing her body parts with metal.
-Her lying on a table screaming as electrical surges ran through her.
"Memories," Cameron said as she stood up and opened her eyes. The memories were there but they no longer hurt. Derek looked at her before approaching her, "They are all back."
"They've been coming back?"
Cameron nodded, "I shouldn't have these memories. I'm a machine."
"You always weren't one," Derek said.
"I know," Cameron again placed her hand on the window, "I can feel more things you know. I can feel the cold. I can feel jealousy, honor, trust, and love."
They both stood in silence for a couple minutes.
"I've slipped up."
"What do you mean?"
"I told John I loved him."
Derek again stood next to her and looked out the window. Placing his hands in his pocket he replied, "I heard about what happened………..What's going on Cameron?"
Cameron closed her eyes and answered, "I don't know. It seems that the damage to my chip has opened up my memories more. I remember everything now. I remember when they caught me. I remember what they did to create the new and efficient Terminator. I remember how they mutilated me and made me into something that I hated."
"Do you remember the room that you first saw me in?"
She would always remember that room. Cameron opened her eyes and looked at Derek, "Yes. That was the first time that they tried to see if the new model worked efficiently. I wasn't even completed by then. My arms and legs had been completed but my brain hadn't been replaced yet. I still had a heart beat."
'I also remember begging you to forgive me for what I was about to do.'
"Yeah, gave me quite a shock the first time I saw you at the base. I knew that they must have completed you by then because your eyes were different. They weren't the brown that you have now. And when they told me they had reprogrammed you I knew you were completely gone. But look at you now. You know you can't tell John."
"I know," Cameron said softly.
"He can't get attached any more then he already is. He needs to focus on becoming the man he will be in the future. If he knows what they did to you and how they turned you into one of them he will become careless."
Derek touched her cheek and Cameron looked at him with sad eyes, "I know."
Derek nodded and said, "Good night Cameron."
Derek stepped away from her and walked out of the room. Cameron listened to his footsteps and the sounds of him moving about in his room.
Everyone had thought that they were enemies. But the truth was that they knew more about each other than everyone else thought. She had been the first of her kind. And he had been the first one that she had tortured.
Deciding that everything looked alright she walked to her room and shut the door behind her before leaning up against it and sliding down to the ground. She again looked at her hands and made them into fists.
'Things have changed. I'm still Cameron. But at the same time I am not. I have all of my memories back and I know what they did to me. And now I can do something more then what I was created for. I can stop the future from happening. I can stop them from turning a human into a weapon. I can stop them from making me.'
Author's Note: Tell me what you guys think? And if you guys have any questions send me a message. I was trying to hint a little at the possibility of Cameron once being a human and how the machines turned her into the newest model of Terminator. So tell me what you think!! Lol.
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