Static cling has the disclaimer saying that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters. Just a very mad thought in my very mad mind.

It's Not Easy Being Fuzzy

"Is he still in there?" Rogue asked.

"I'm afraid so," Scott sighed as he stood in front of the downstairs bathroom. "Kurt come on out!"

"No way!" Kurt snapped.

"Kurt it's not that bad!" Rogue said.

"Oh yes it is!" Kurt shouted through the door.

"You think we should try and get Kitty to get him out of there?" Scott asked.

"After what happened last time? I don't think so," Rogue groaned.

"He's not coming isn't he?" Jean asked as she walked up with Kitty.

"It doesn't look like it," Scott said.

"Kurt? Please come out! I'm totally sorry! And so is Ray," Kitty said.

"I have nothing to say to you, you…life wrecker!" Kurt shouted.

"Life wrecker?" Jean asked.

"Ya, like a home wrecker only with a life," Kurt explained. "MY LIFE!"

"Kurt…" Jean sighed.

"Granted it wasn't much of a life before but still…" Kurt grumbled.

"What's going on?" Logan walked up to them. "I thought you guys were headed out for more of that community service stuff."

"Well we were but uh…" Kitty fidgeted uncomfortably. "We kind of had a little accident."

"A little accident?" Kurt screamed through the door. "You call scaring me for life a little accident?"

"Oh come on Kurt, you're exaggerating!" Rogue snapped. "You weren't exactly hurt."

"I wasn't exactly helped either!" Kurt shouted.

"What kind of accident?" Logan folded his arms. "I can't wait to hear this one."

"We were trying something new with both the X-Men and the New Mutants," Scott explained.

"How big is the hole in the Danger Room?" Logan knew where this was going.

"It's not one big hole," Kitty said. "It's just a lot of little ones."

"Iceman kind of got knocked out but he'll be fine once the swelling goes down," Jean said.

"I really should get a will or something," Logan groaned. "Because odds are one of you is gonna kill me sooner or later! So what happened to Kurt?"

"Well uh…" Kitty gulped. "There was this maneuver with me, Kurt and Berserker we were trying out but uh…It didn't go that well."

"Is he hurt?" Logan frowned. "Does he need to go to the infirmary?"

"No, he needs to go to the hair salon," Rogue groaned. "Kurt you drama freak come on out and talk to us! It's not that bad!"

"Oh yes it is!" Kurt snapped.

"Come on out Elf or I'm coming in!" Logan barked. "How bad could it…be?"

Kurt opened the door. His face was barely recognizable because every bit of fur and hair was poofed up and sticking out. His head looked like one huge round fuzzy blue ball on top of a larger fuzzy blue ball with fuzzy arms, legs and a tail popping out. "Satisfied?" Kurt snapped.

Logan couldn't help but snicker. "See! I knew it! I knew it!" Kurt snapped. "I knew you'd laugh at me!"

"To be fair it is pretty funny," Logan snorted.

"Come on Kurt! I'm sure the poofiness will go down eventually," Kitty said. "And look at the bright side, you don't need the infirmary."

"What he needs is a hair salon," Logan chuckled. "Call Vidal Sassoon on the speed dial."

"Ha ha, laugh it up!" Kurt snapped.

"Kurt it's…" Jean was trying not to laugh. "It's not that bad."

"Not that bad? Look at me!" Kurt screamed. "I look like one of those pom pom dolls you make in a craft store!"

"He does," Logan realized. "I was just thinking that."

"You didn't have to agree with me!" Kurt snapped.

"Can't you just use your image inducer?" Jean asked.

"Jean, did you forget that Berserker was part of the incident as well?" Rogue gave her a look.

"Why?" Jean asked. "What does that have to do with…?"

To answer her Kurt snapped his fingers and a spark of electricity appeared. Then it tingled all over his fur. "Oh…" Jean realized.

"I don't think image inducers and hyper static shock are really a good combination," Kurt said sarcastically. "I'm not stepping a foot out of this house until I look normal again! Well normal for me anyway…"

"Kurt I guarantee you one thing," Scott smirked. "Even if people do see your real self they won't be scared."

"I'm not going!" Kurt snapped. "What if the Brotherhood comes along and sees me like this? Toad will never let me hear the end of it!"

"I'm with the Elf on this one," Logan shrugged. "I wouldn't let the Brotherhood see me like this either."

"See? Wolverine gets it!" Kurt said.

"Knowing Toad he'd probably make some crack about the Elf needing a dog grooming service," Logan smirked. "Or something about static shock therapy."

"Wonderful, if you will excuse me…" Kurt sighed. "I will be in my room for the next three years!"

"Kurt wait don't…" Rogue protested.


"Teleport…" Rogue moaned as she lay on the floor in a daze with the other X-Men. There were scorch marks on the walls and a few things were damaged.

"Whoa…" Scott sat up groggily. "Static electricity combined with brimstone really packs a punch doesn't it?"

"Let me guess?" Logan grunted as he got up. "That's one of the reasons there are a lot of little holes in the Danger Room?"

"Bingo," Scott said.

"Maybe it's not such a bad idea if Kurt stays out of sight for today?" Jean groaned as she sat up.

"Oh great!" Kitty looked at her top that was covered in scorch marks. "My new top is ruined."

"Oh what a shame," Rogue drawled. "How horrible for you to have to change your outfit!"

"Hey come on! You know that static will wear off eventually," Kitty protested as she got up with the rest of the team. "Kurt's fur will get back to normal. At least he's not going through this alone."

"What do you mean?" Logan asked. Then he saw why. "Oh this is funny!"

"I beg to differ," Hank growled. He too had is fur and hair sticking out all over his body like large pom pom balls.

"Calm down Fluffy," Logan smirked.

"Remind me to do something very nasty to you while you sleep in the near future," Hank growled. "Oh why wait?"

Hank reached out a fluffy finger and tapped Logan on the shoulder. "Ow!" Logan barked as the static electricity hit him.

"Stings doesn't it?" Hank smirked. He tapped him again and again.

"Ow! Ow! Beast! Quit it! Ow!" Logan backed away. Hank followed him. "I'm warning you McCoy! Ow! Knock it off! Ow! Watch it you…"

"Behold! I am Electro Man! Fear my wrath!" Hank laughed insanely as he chased Logan around the room.

"Actually you're more like Static Shock," Scott corrected.

"Don't encourage him Cyclops!" Logan shouted as he ran from Hank. "OW! BEAST YOU KNOW ONCE THAT WEARS OFF YOU'RE A DEAD MAN, RIGHT?"


"OW! BEAST YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS! YOU HEAR ME FURBALL! OW!" Logan shouted as Hank chased him out of the room.

"That's something you don't see every day," Scott blinked.

"I tell you one thing," Kitty remarked. "If I ever write my memoirs I'm certainly going to have plenty of material to write about."


"Never a dull moment in this place, that's for sure," Rogue said.