Hanako: Hello, and welcome back to More Sugar Again, Please! This chapter will have lots of me and Lady Etna kicking all kinds of ass! Be sure to stay tuned, or you'll regret it. Yay!
Taro: I thought Kismet said this chapter would be about self-awareness?
Hanako: Self-awareness? There ONLY thing that Kiz's aware of is herself, so isn't that technically the focus every chapter?
A/N: (Appears behind the two of them.) Ah... Boo.
Episode 2: Magical Love Nurse Angel Laharl-chan, Please!
"Something's not right..."
Etna paused and looked around the throne room VERY carefully. Everyone was hanging about like they normally did because they had no lives, talking about whatever it was that made themselves feel as if they were actually significant. But there was something that she couldn't put her finger on... Something so obvious yet so elusive...
"Etna-chan, would you like some of my cookies? I can't eat them all by myself!"
"Yeah, yeah. Sure. Whatever, Flonne. Just be quiet, I'm trying to concentrate."
"Oh, boy! And did you call me Flonne just now?"
"I said be quiet!"
Etna gave Flonne a look of disgus-
Whoa, what the hell?! It was freaking LAHARL she that was talking to her? She could've sworn it was a girl's voice!
Laharl blinked innocently (yet stupidly) at Etna with sparkling, stereotypical anime-like eyes. She recoiled in horror from this display. She knew that something was off!
It wasn't just Laharl, either! Everyone had these giant, sparkly eyes. And they were wearing brighter clothing than usual. What in the hell was this?
The only person who was the same as always was Kismet. Etna wasn't even surprised. It was her wacky doing. As usual. It was to be expected. She was dressed in a more traditional sailor girl uniform, and sported a green backpack. Smiling at Etna, she shoved a notebook into her face. It was a (rather badly) drawn picture of Laharl, Flonne, and herself covered in hearts, ribbons, and some other ghastly attire and items of cutesy fanfare.
"We're doing a mahou shoujo parody!"
"A magical girl parody, silly! You know. Lights, ribbons, chibi eyes, Pocky, crushes on hot guys in school, and demonic creatures to be slain!"
"What the fuck are you talking about... I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT SHIT!"
Aramis ever so happily came skipping towards them.
"Why isn't it Etna-sama! Konnichiwa! We should all go with Laharl to the garden. It's a lovely day for a stroll. I'll make tea!"
"SINCE WHEN ARE THERE GARDENS IN THE NETHERWORLD?! Did you NOT see that giant pool of molten lava that surrounds this place? And you can make tea? You're just GAY."
Kismet grabbed Aramis by the collar and chucked him out of the window. She listened to his sickening screeches until a satisfying crunch of bones echoed through the air.
"Ah. Does my heart good to hear the weak suffering."
"Yaaaaaaaaaaay!" cried Hanako, running over with Taro following close behind. She began leaping into air excitedly and waving her arms. "This is totally awesome! A magical girl story! I can't wait for my big cue. Pretty Cutie Hana is here to save the day!"
"Laharl's the main character, Hanako-chan."
"What? Why, Kismet-sama?!"
"Well, I find it hilarious to see him in such a happy-go-lucky state of being. Not to mention he'd never stop complaining otherwise. And most importantly of all, because I said so! YAY!"
Taro gave Hanako a look. "I don't think you'd want to be a part of whatever Kismet's scheming anyways, sis... She's crazy..." he whispered, shivering. They both looked at Kismet with her hands on her hips, her entire body shaking with laughter. Drops of sweat rolled down both their faces.
Suddenly all of the windows shattered and a figure flew gracefully into the room. He flipped, twirled, and landed perfectly on top of the royal throne. Some nameless subordinates rated him perfect tens.
"I'm back once again! It's been a long time since that young authoress is quite lazy, but Vyers is here to fill your souls with enlightenment, your hearts with song, and your eyes with my dazzling body!" he announced proudly, spinning around and ripping off his jacket, exposing his chest which was glistening with body oil. His nipples were perky for some reason.
"EWWWWW, MY GOD, MAN! PUT IT BACK ON, PUT IT BACK ON!" screamed everyone.
"NEVER! You cannot appreciate the simple beauty that is my rock-hards abs and these tender nipples which are erect from the blistering tastiness that is my glorious self!"
Adell covered Taro's and Hanako's ears. "There are children in the room, you bastard!"
"I have come to take Flonne as my bride!"
Flonne looked up from the sugar muffin she was nibbling on. "Hm?"
Laharl pushed his way to the front. "You cannot have her, Vyers! I will not allow you to steal away her pure and innocent heart! Kismet-chan, Taro-chan! Let's transform!"
Kismet and Taro nodded. Etna was still wondering what the hell was going on.
"Atomic Author Apocalypse~!"
"Lovely Lactose Lagoon~!"
"When the world is about to fall, an angel nurse is who ya gotta call! Angelic Remedy, Make Up!"
I won't get into details, but plenty of moments of their clothes ripping off and being replaced by magical ribbons and girly shapes made out of light (that oddly looked like they were about to rape them) and accessories magically appearing were included in their transformation sequences.
"I am Magical Love Nurse Angel Laharl-chan, and I shall smite thee with the power of my heavenly antedote!" Laharl cried, now decked out in magical nurse gear. His hair was white and his eyes were pink now, too. Just because.
"I am Sugar Milk Tea Taro-chan! And I will, um... Make you drink the milk of love! Or else!"
"And I am Apocalyptic WhoopAss Kismet-chan! Because if I don't whoop yo ass, no one will! ... Nigga!"
Etna decided to turn around and walk away at this point.
"Go, magical maidens of love! Gooooo~!"
Laharl closed the notebook with giant slap.
"So, what did ja think? Wouldn't that make an AWESOME chapter?!" Kismet asked, all of her teeth showing for maximum effect.
Laharl's eyes were covered by his bangs so his face was dark. But he began shaking. With anger. He looked up with the nastiest scowl on his face.
Kismet coughed, took the notebook from him, and scurried promptly upstairs. Flonne sweatdropped as Laharl tried extremely hard to contain his rising anger. Hanako began raving about how Kismet should rewrite the chapter to reflect herself more, and Taro attempted to argue that he felt the story was fine the way it was, but he's a bit of a pussy so no one really listened.
Aramis did actually die, however.
A/N: Yeeeaaaah... I'm going to try to pretend like I did not take an extremely long time to update this story.
Mid-Boss: This chapter was brought to you by my wonderful, glittering nipples that EXPLODE with the light of extreme pleasure.
Rozalin: H-How repulsive!
Mid-Boss: Not to mention yours truly. Because I am clearly the one and only... *Looks around to see that the coast is clear* Because... I! Am! The Daaaaaaaaaaaaaark! Ado-
A/N: Yeah, right. Not even in my commentary section are you gonna get that. Oh, and by the way? SHUT UP!