My Dearest…

Come back

Cloud arose quickly, sweat trickling down his pale face as he panted heavily, his golden hair sticking to his forehead.

He had 'that' dream again, the one that had been appearing ever since he had killed 'him'.

His heartbeat grew erratic with every thought that flooded his mind. Memories pounded against himself, making him cry silently. He was breaking apart, slowly, but surely.

Why had he done that to 'him'. His heart ached with longing every day. His body was falling apart every night.

Yes, Sephiroth was dead. He had killed him in the sky, where the sky was a grey brooding color. He remembered the setting freakishly well, since it haunted his memories every night. He had killed the person he loved the most. He hated himself.

But the problem was that he had no choice. It was either his love or the planet. He was willing to sacrifice the world for Sephiroth, but he knew better. He'd have to help the planet.

He knew he had made the right decision, but how come doing the right thing made him feel so…dead inside?

Tears collected in his sapphire eyes. He missed Sephiroth so much, the separation was unbearable. He wanted to end the suffering, but for some reason he had a bit of hope that Sephiroth would come back.

Cloud knew he was crazy, but for a slight moment he let his mind slip into the happier thoughts. Back when his beloved was alive and they were secretly seeing eachother.

FlashBack

It was midnight, and the rest of the crew were sound asleep. Cloud cracked his window open slowly, hoping he wouldn't disturb Tifa, who was sleeping a bed a cross from him. The window was finally opened all the way and Cloud slipped out the window with ease, smile spreading wildly on his face.

The moon shone against the rooftops in the small town. All lights were off and the darkest of alleyways were even more enveloped in the black.

He landed safely on the street and began running swiftly to the meeting place. The place where he would see Sephiroth, his angel of death.

He finally stopped in front of a abandoned house that sat quietly at the very edge of the town. The dark chestnut color that painted the house was peeling off slowly, revealing a white plaster underneath. The windows were almost all broken and the threshold was surrounded in thriving moss and other weird plants that loved disgusting places such as this.

Cloud smiled brightly and opened the door slowly as the rusted hinges gave out an eerie creak. He entered confidently.

He looked around the room expectantly, waiting for 'him' to come out of his hiding place. "Seph?" He called out. "Where are you?" A gust of wind blew in front of him and he gasped as he suddenly felt a presence behind him.

"Hello, Cloud." A deep, silky voice greeted from behind him. Sephiroth wrapped his arm around Cloud's torso, pulling him close to his leather-clothed chest. Cloud gasped.

"Jeez, don't do that Seph. You nearly scared the daylights out of me." He stated wrapping his arms around the others. "Tch." He chuckled lowly.

"I've missed you so much. I've dreamt about you everyday." He blushed as he confessed his heart out. Sephiroth kissed him tenderly. "So have I." He replied coolly.

His heart was swelling uncontrollably as his cheek's turning a light pink as every word that came out of Sephiroth's mouth resounded in the breaking house. "Seph, can I ask you something?" He asked nervously.

The Sephiroth looked down at the blonde. "Yes?"

Cloud hesitated for a moment, and then finally created the courage to ask his question. "Will you join us, you know the others? You don't have to do this you, you can always come to-."

"Stop right there."
Sephiroth demanded. Cloud stopped abruptly and looked into the emerald eyes staring down at him. He frowned. "I'm going to find mother. No matter what and together we'll destroy this wretched planet." He stated.

Cloud shook his head angrily. "No matter what, not even if it means the two of us fighting against eachother?" He asked with his hands pounding against the chest he was embracing a few seconds ago. "You won't stop even for me? Not for the one you love, but for some bitch that came out the fucking sky!" His voice quivered with the anger he released.

"Cloud." The ex-general sighed. He pulled Cloud's face to his, propping his chin by his right hand. He leaned in to kiss his lover but was pushed away. "Don't Cloud me! You…You selfish bastard. Think about if I have to fight you, what if one of dies! Have you ever thought about that!?" Cloud sobbed.

Why'd Sephiroth have to do this to him? Love him, but destroy him also. Sephiroth was giving him a hard choice. Save the planet or go with his true love.

It tore his heart just thinking about it. "Cloud, look at me." He tried making Cloud look into his eyes but the blonde kept shaking away and closed his eyes tightly. "Cloud I love you." He said warmly.

Cloud's eyes opened and looked at Seph wildly. The three words that made him melt, and want to follow Sephiroth and destroy the planet if it meant being with him. "Look at me." He demanded now. The sapphire-eyed looked into the mako green that looked at him intensely.

"I would kill anyone for you. I'd destroy the planet itself for you if you wished it. I'd rip the Cosmo's self into an incurable state of disaster if someone so much as touched you." He kissed gently over every inch of Cloud's bear skin he could find. Showing and telling his undeniable love.

"If you could do all those things why can't you stay with me? Please, don't do this. I'll have to fight you. I might hurt you. Please…" He begged. His face turned into a expression of pure agony.

Seph looked the other way. "Don't do this to me. You know how it is, just for tonight can we enjoy eachother's company?" He asked in a tired voice. Yes, for tonight he'd let the topics disappear into thin air, and try to indulge himself on as much as Seph as he could get.

This was a rare opportunity.

Flashback end.

He shuddered. That wasn't one of his best memories, but it was something. He tossed the sheets from his hot form and walked over to the nightstand near his bed. He was in nothing but his boxers. Which were black by the way.

He grabbed his turtle neck and leather pants from the nightstand and dressed quickly. Wanting nothing more than to take a walk and clear his head. He had created a habit of it ever since Seph died.

He left the inn that he was staying in and began walking outside in the crescent moon's glare. The moon had seemed so beautiful before, but now it seemed like it was mocking him. Reminding him of the one he missed most.

A cool breeze blew his direction. He shivered. Why hadn't he brought a jacket?

He put his arms together and began rubbing his upperarms fiercely, trying to create warmth.

Cloud walked silently down the empty streets of the sleeping town in a daze. His thoughts bombarding his peace.

What if Seph was alive? What if he hadn't really killed him? Hope began to well inside him.

No! He knew better than that. He had taught himself not to even think of that possibility. But for some reason, right now, he was the most vulnerable. It had seemed that whenever the moon shone like it did on a night like this, that his head would be loitered with the past.

He snapped back into life as he almost banged into a tree. "Damn it." He growled. He walked around the oak and noticed the house at the corner of the street. It looked just like the one he and Seph would sneak out to go to.

But that was absurd. This was a different town, not to mention country. So why did this house look exactly like the one from his memories?

He shook his head. He must be hallucinating. This must have been his mind playing tricks on him.

But he shrugged. So what if his mind was doing weird things? So he started sprinting over to the house.

In a few minutes, he was standing in front of the house. From up close the house looked totally different from the one he was used to. It was white and had ferns growing over the window in a weird formation.

And then he heard it. "Cloud."

His eyes grew wide in shock. His heartbeat turned erratic and each breath felt like his last. "Seph-Sephiroth!?" He whispered, completely taken aback from the calling. That was Seph! He knew it, he knew he was alive!

"Hold on! I'm coming, wait there Seph!" He smiled brightly as he stormed into the house. He ran up random stairs, turning undecided corridors, until he finally stopped in front of a large door. The door was barely hanging on to the hinges.

He walked slowly into the room. One of the many windows were broken and the moon's light crept even in there. His heart thrummed impatiently, wanting to see 'him' badly.

"Seph? Please tell me you're here." He didn't get a response. "Please come out, I've missed you so much. I love you. Come back to me." He pleaded.

But as much as he begged, he would not get a reply. He fell to his knees abruptly. "Fuck…" He mumbled. The voice that he had thought he heard was his imagination. "Fuck." He said louder. Cloud banged a hand to the wooden floor. Tears fell from his cheeks. "Fuck." He began beating his hands harder against the floor, starting to break a hole into it.

"Fuck!" He slammed his hand into it with all his might and he heard a loud crashing sound. "Shit." The floor under him began to quake.

"I knew this building was old, but shit."

He jumped through the window as a last resort and landed in a bush.

"Ouch." The bush was full of roses, and the thorns cut his arms mercilessly. Blood trickled down from his wounds, leaving a trail of crimson behind. He sighed.

He only liked it when Seph made him bleed. He gazed up at the moon.

"Stop mocking me." He growled. His eyes burned with tears. "Come back to me, Seph."