Title: Creeper Kamikaze

Disclaimer: I do not own the show Buffy or its characters.

Pairings: Spander, Anya/Xander, Willow/Tara

AN: Okay this is a rewrite of my unfinished story Life in Crazy Angles. I didn't like or know where that one was going. And the title is from the song by The Exies. And just to set the scene and time period, this is all gonna be happening in some vague Season 5 area. Dawn's there but Glory hasn't happened so no one knows she's the Key, and Xander has his own apartment.

Warnings: slash, violence, language, possible gore

Summary: Xander isn't crazy. Really, he isn't. He's just seeing things a little differently these days, that's all.



Prologue: Scream


No breeze to blow through the trees and rustle leaves. No people out on the streets. Everything was silent. Unnaturally silent. A silent that sought out the smallest noise just to choke the life out of it and leave the streets even quieter than before. The only sound his own far too loud breathing in his ears.

And that was why it was so damn creepy. Things were not supposed to be this quiet. Where were the cars? The vamps? The small background noises that let him know that something out there was alive? That he wasn't alone?

Cautiously, Xander put one foot in front of the other as he made his way down the deserted street. Moving in and out of shadow as he crossed the pools of light created by the streetlights lining the street.

He knew he was somewhere in Sunnydale, and in the residential area, but other than that he had absolutely no clue. He'd woken up about two blocks back lying on a park bench, out in the open where any vampire or demon could get at him. He had no weapons, no cross or holy water, and he was wearing only a pair of boxers and his undershirt. So he was feeling particularly vulnerable and somewhat embarrassed. How long had he been lying out there in his underwear like that? Had anybody seen him?

The current plan was to get home as quickly as possible and pray that nobody else saw him like this. The only problem being that he had no clue which direction he should go in. Was his apartment building to the right or to the left? Was he going even remotely in the right direction?

His breath made clouds in front of him as he breathed, it unusually cold for a Californian night. It was spring. It should be warmer than this.

Xander crossed his arms over his chest and shivered, trying to stay warm as he continued walking. If anything it felt like it was just getting colder, goose bumps rising along his skin.

Turning onto the next street, this one had one dead streetlight, another just barely hanging in there, flickering off and on at irregular intervals. It made the street dark and somewhat ominous-looking. Xander didn't like it. Any demon could be waiting for him out there. Pausing and listening closely, he tried to hear if there were any man-eating type beasts out there waiting for him.

His breathing seemed to echo in the still night, but nothing else seemed to be moving. Deciding to risk it, Xander moved forward, bare feet almost silent against the concrete. He got nearly half-way through when he heard a sound.

The soft sound of someone breathing right next to his ear.

Xander abruptly stopped dead still in the middle of the street, ears perking up. He looked around frantically, trying to find where the sound was coming from, who could possibly be breathing right next to him. Nothing was there, the night still and silent. Xander's breathing began to go faster, more frantic.

A clatter as if someone had tripped over a can behind him and Xander whirled around to look. No one there. Only a lonely looking paint bucket resting near the fence of the large house.

Another clatter. Another whirl. Still no one there. Still someone breathing in his ear.

Dread building in his chest, a sick feeling coming to his stomach, Xander looked this way and that, desperate to find who was playing tricks on him. Maybe it was just Spike. The vampire was enough of an asshole to find something like this funny. Still nothing seemed to be there, but he knew that was just a trick.

A flicker and Xander's head snapped in that direction to look, legs tensed to run.

A rolling in the shadows, the warning of something to come, and Xander immediately bolted back the way he'd come. Heavy breathing even louder in his ears, heartbeat pounding in his chest, Xander pushed his legs to their limit, trying to get away. A quick glance behind and Xander nearly tripped over his own two feet.

Racing around the corner and then the next, the next few minutes a blur of activity, nothing seemed to make sense. Soon he was lost in the residential streets of Sunnydale and he looked around wildly. Where was he? He needed to get away!

Another sound behind him. A crunch.

Heart jumping, Xander ran, not bothering to look behind him to see how close it was. Another few jumbled moments, colors blurring around him, time seeming to go sideways, and he found himself in the business district. Not hearing anything behind him and thinking he had gotten away, Xander slowed to a jog and leaned over, hands on his knees, panting for breath.

Everything seemed to still, as if the world was just waiting for something disastrous to happen, and, that feeling of dread back again, Xander's head shot up, wide-eyed. There in front of him, it stood. Stumbling, he fell back a step, then another, and another, until he turned and bolted in the other direction only to stop short when he found another just like it blocking his path.

Beginning to tremble, Xander looked between the two nightmares as they slowly advanced. Backing up against the wall of a small boutique unique to Sunnydale, Xander tried to become one with the wall, some part of him thinking that if he could only get small enough they would leave him alone. He felt the roughness of the brick wall behind him with almost painful clarity as his eyes flickered around his surroundings, searching desperately for something, anything that could be used as a weapon. If he was going down, he was going down fighting.

A flash of movement to his right. Darkness shot towards him and Xander screamed.

Eyes suddenly open.

A choked gasp.

Xander shot up in bed. Chest heaving and heartbeat pounding in his ears, wild-eyed with still present terror, he flung out a blind hand to turn on the bedside table lamp. Fingers clumsy in his haste, he knocked something over with a clatter and missed the on-off knob twice before success, the room brightening to show nothing but the comforting surroundings of Xander's own bedroom, no threat noticeable. Feeling slightly better at the sight, he swallowed roughly and managed to take a few breaths. He couldn't stop himself from searching the room again though, looking for anything out of place or suspicious.

There still wasn't anything there.

"Oh God . ." he groaned. His heartbeat slowly going down to a normal rate, Xander took another deep breath, and then another, as he calmed himself down.

Next to him, Anya stirred slightly, rolling over in bed to squint up at him. "Xander?" she mumbled sleepily, not removing her head from her pillow. "Xander, why are the lights on?"

What, no asking if he was okay?

Xander exhaled heavily and ran a hand through his hair, looking down. "No reason, Ahn. I'll turn them off." And he reached over to do just that, the room falling into darkness once more.

It was a long time before he could get to sleep again.