This story is kind of different because there is absolutely no narration whatsoever. It's told entirely in notes passed back and forth in class by Quinn and Logan. I'm not sure yet how well this will work. In case you can't figure it out yourself, Logan's writing is normal and Quinn's is in italics. Enjoy! By the way, the chapters go by weeks, and I've almost got the whole thing written, so this won't be one of those stories that are just forgotten and never finished. That is, if someone likes it and tells me to keep it going.
If you hate the Quinn and Logan pairing, you might as well not read this. If you do like Quinn and Logan and you still hate my fic, let me know what you think is wrong with it.
I don't own Zoey 101.
Week 1 Poetry and Nerd Games
1. Congress shall make no law…blah blah blah
Could American Government be a little more boring?
Logan, I can't pass notes with you. I, for one, want to get an "A".
Well I want to survive the rest of the year and not die of boredom.
So you choose to pass notes with a girl you hate?
I didn't have much of a choice. I used to pass notes with Chase, but he flew off to England to be with Zoey. Normally I'd choose a hot girl, but believe it or not, you're the best looking girl in this class.
Wow. That sounded like a compliment and an insult rolled into one. Is that how you woo other girls?
Don't flatter yourself, Pensky. I'm not trying to "woo" you. I'm trying not to die of boredom, remember?
Look, if Mr. Roth catches us passing notes, we'll get in trouble. I know you're used to that, Logan, but I don't get in trouble.
Not true. I seem to recall you and Lola starting a food fight.
Those were special circumstances. And I got off easy. It didn't even go in my permanent record. I checked.
Wait, you checked your permanent record?
Sure, it was easy.
I have my ways. Yours, by the way, is stuffed.
You checked my permanent record?
Seriously, Logan, I need to pay attention.
Fine. But I want to see my permanent record.
Fine. Now leave me alone.
Do you happen to know how I could wipe out my record?
Okay, okay. Leaving you alone.
Amendment 1: Congress shall make no law respecting the establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.
Amendment 2: blah blah blah
You're right. This is boring.
What's the matter with you? I'm trying to pay attention.
She's back! Can you believe Zoey is back?
Just after Chase went to England to find her. Kind of a tragic romance, huh?
Uh, Logan, are you high on chick flicks?
What? I don't watch chick flicks!
Not according to Michael.
What are you talking about? What did Michael tell you?
That your favorite movie is Pride and Prejudice.
He told you?
So it's true?
No. I've never even seen that movie.
Hey, I'm Quinn, remember. I'm not stupid.
Fine. I watched it once. But only because Kiera Knightley is hot.
So what girl did you watch Anne of Green Gables to see?
Michael told you that too?
No. That was a guess.
You see? That's why I hate you.
Oddly, that flatters me.
Sure, change the subject.
Bet you're glad to be rid of Dilsen.
Uh, yeah, plus, you know, I'm glad Zoey's back.
Yeah. Plus, you got rid of Dilsen.
And that, Logan, is why I hate you.
Oddly, I'm flattered.
You know how vertical stripes are supposed to make you look thinner or something?
Where did you find that out? A girl magazine?
Well, they make Mr. Roth look more like a pumpkin.
Yeah, if a pumpkin had sweaty armpits.
How are we supposed to learn anything when we are distracted by the teacher's gourd-like shape and nasty pit stains?
Like you really wanted to learn anyways.
I like to have an excuse for when my dad asks me why I'm failing a class.
You're going to blame your bad government grade on Mr. Roth's armpits?
Well I'm not gonna say that I'm failing because I've been passing notes with a girl. That got me into trouble the last eight times.
Eight times? What did your father say?
That he'll put me in an all-boys school if I'm continually distracted by pretty girls.
Are you calling me pretty?
I didn't say that.
What did you say, exactly?
That the last eight girls I passed notes with in class were pretty.
Are you saying I'm not pretty?
I didn't say that either. Quinn, are you flirting with me?
OK. Just making sure. When normal girls flirt I can tell, but you're anything but normal.
Thanks? I have a boyfriend, remember?
Mark Del Figgalo. How could I forget? Oh, wait, I am completely unaware of Mark's existence until someone brings him up.
You're a jerk.
Hey, it's not my fault your boyfriend is the most boring guy on the planet next to pit-stained pumpkin Roth.
Why do I talk to you?
This class is boring. It's the only reason I talk to you.
Keep telling yourself that.
You're a jerk.
So I don't have to worry about you falling in love with me or anything?
Good. Because I hate you.
The feeling is mutual.
I hate you too.
I think Mr. Roth has more hair on his legs than I have on my head.
Not that you're one to talk. You have more hair on your armpits than on your head.
Yeah? Well you're the one who's dating a guy who plays nerd games with Firewire. Seriously, I saw them at lunch yesterday playing some game called "Mag Blaster". Any card game that has the word "Blaster" in it has to be a nerd game. For that matter, any game with "Mag" in it's name has to be a nerd game.
Logan, you don't put an apostrophe in "its" if you're using it to indicate possession. "It's" is the contraction "it is".
Nerd. Nerd who's dating a guy who plays Mag Blaster at lunch.
I wrote a haiku.
Yay for you.
Wanna hear it?
Fine. I just won't show it to you then.
You really don't want to hear it?
Which part didn't you understand?
Logan, stop being annoying.
Okay, I'm showing it to you anyway:
There once was an awful disaster
when some nerds were playing Mag Blaster
Mark's battle ship exploded
and Firewire gloated
because Firewire's ship was much faster
Mark was so very ashamed
that he and his friends were so lame
He broke down and cried
when his battle ship died
And that's why you shouldn't play nerd games
You disgust me.
Did I offend you?
I don't really care what you think of my boyfriend. But that wasn't a haiku. Those were two limericks.
Oh. I knew that.
A/N: Some of the things mentioned in this fic are from my life, and some are even copied straight out of letters I
passed with my best friend in history. For example, Mr. Roth was named after a real person, my brother watches chick flicks, I really do have some friends that play nerd games (Mag Blaster is a real game. I don't really understand it, but it's a card game and it involves battle ships. Weird, I know.), and my friend and I really passed notes about someone with more leg hair than we have on our heads. My favorite part is about Mr. Roth and his pumpkin shirt, because that was straight out of a note we passed about our history teacher during class, and it's become our favorite inside joke. Mr. Roth may seem over the top, but he's completely based on my high school social studies teacher.
I'll update as soon as possible. Don't worry, the next chapter is already written, so it all depends on how soon I can get back online. Please review! Criticism welcome, but don't be too harsh. This is my first fan fic, and it's hard writing with absolutely no narration. Go ahead and let me know if I suck, but don't swear at me or make me cry. (Okay, I was halfway kidding with that last sentence.)
Next Chapter: Another Word for "Stupid"