PRIVATE EMOTION

SUMMARY: Elizabeth has just lost her father, throwing a big, fat wrench in Jack's plans to stay away from his charming murderess. One-shot, songfic.

DISCLAIMER: Jack'n'Lizzie do not belong to me. I make no money from the writing of this fan-fiction. The song isn't mine, either.

RATING: T (for Teen—for dark, adult themes)

SHIP: 100 percent Sparrabeth. Willabeth shippers are welcome, but ye have been warned!

DEDICATION: For J.M.O.

A/N: Hello! I feel asleep a few nights ago to this song and it's been stuck in my head ever since. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it would make a sappy, sweet little song-fic. So yes, here's another song-fic from the author who doesn't like song-fics.

Enjoy!


Every fiber in his being told Captain Jack Sparrow to stay away. You owe her nothing. Not after what she did to you. And he did try to stay away, Lord, how he tried to stay away! He spent the first hour of her absence pacing around the deck of the Black Pearl, darting between the galley, his cabin, the crew's quarters, the bow, the stern… just about everywhere he could go, he went, and he downed two bottles of rum in the process. But the warm, stinging drink that had once brought him so much comfort did very little to ease his nerves.

Jack was pacing back and forth on the quarterdeck, quite unhappy that a most-hated Hector Barbossa was at the wheel. Every couple of minutes or so, he would mutter some profanity under his breath, just loud enough (and on purpose, he might add), for the older man to hear him. At this point in time, Jack had no brilliant plan to rid the Pearl of his mutinous former-first mate, so annoying the bejesus out of him would have to do. For now, at least.

He had just muttered an insult about Barbossa's body odor when the older man turned to him, and with a heavy roll of his eyes, shouted "Just go down there already!" At this, Jack stuck his nose in the air and let out a hmph, pretending to not have the slightest idea as to what he was talking about. He turned his back to him and gripped the railing, looking down at the glass-like surface of the water below. Reflected on the inky, black waters was the dim glow of candlelight coming from the small cabin below decks. Her cabin.

A voice inside said no. Don't do it. Stay away. But Jack was not one to take orders. Without another word to Barbossa or even so much as a glance in his direction, he turned on heel and headed down the steps. As he made his way below deck towards her cabin, the voice continued. Don't. You'll regret it.

He had gotten but three feet away before he could hear her, a heart-wrenching sob that actually made him wince. Before taking another step closer, he turned around and walked the seven or so feet to the rum cellar. He grabbed one bottle before tucking another, smaller bottle into the pocket inside his jacket, just in case. There had been many occasions in his life when he had wished for a bottle of rum, or an extra bottle of rum, and he was not going to let this occasion be one of them.

Jack had reached the door of her cabin again when he heard a masculine voice uttering a few words of comfort. His voice. Of course, his voice. He should have known better. Of course she wouldn't be alone. Of course he'd be with her. His instincts again told him to turn around and walk away. She's not alone. You can leave now. But he just couldn't make himself leave. Some part of him still felt like he'd be leaving her all alone, and that, despite everything that had happened, he could not deal with. So he edged forward a few steps to the narrow hallway that led to the door before leaning against the wall and sliding down so that he was sitting on the cold, damp floor. He uncorked the bottle of rum that he held in his hand and brought it to his lips. He was about to take a sip, but stopped. He couldn't make himself. As he sat there, listening to her cry, he just couldn't make himself.

An hour must have passed before her sobs began to quiet down. No one had come to look for him, and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. Another twenty minutes or so went by before the voices ceased altogether and the light went out. Jack took that as his cue to leave and was about to do so, but his stiff legs made the task more difficult than anticipated. Before he could get to his feet, the door quietly opened, and he found himself looking up at him.

"Jack?" Will whispered, shutting the door noiselessly behind him. He crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes, looking down at him. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

Jack was speechless, for one of the only times in his life. He had no good reason for being there, so he spit out the first thing that came to mind. "S'my ship. I can go where I please."

Will let out a hefty sigh and rolled his eyes slightly before looking back down at him. His brown eyes shifted to the bottle of rum in Jack's hand and his expression softened, however slightly. "Have you an extra one of those?"

Jack's eyes widened in surprise. He reached inside his jacket and pulled out the spare bottle, handing it up to Will. The younger man nodded his thanks and took a long sip, tilting his head back and closing his eyes, before sitting against the wall opposite Jack.

"Is she… asleep?" Jack asked awkwardly, not knowing what else to talk about.

"Yes," Will sighed again. "Finally."

"How's she handling?"

"Her father just died. She's not handling." Jack gave a dramatic gesture of his hand, as if to say excuse me, and Will took a deep breath. "She broke it off."

"Broke what? Broke what off?" Jack, who was only slightly inebriated, eyed the younger man carefully. Both arms were intact… both legs… He gulped, willing his eyes not to venture further.

"Our engagement. We're no longer getting married."

"Oh," Jack's eyes widened briefly in surprise before the most wonderful feeling of utter and complete ecstasy surged through him. It took a tremendous amount of restraint not to smile. He shook his head, saying, "M'sorry to hear that." It was a lie.

"Me too," Will said, his voice quiet and sad. The two men were silent as each took a sip from their respective rum bottles.

"Ye know…" Jack's voice trailed off slightly, hardly able to believe that he was going to say what he was going to say. "It's likely the grief talkin'. Lass probably doesn't mean it. Give 'er time, she'll come back to you."

"No," Will shook his head. "She doesn't love me."

"Pfft," Jack waved his hand. "O'course she does."

"No," Will repeated. "She loves another."

Jack lowered the bottle from his face. "Did she… tell you this?"

"In so many words, though I suppose it doesn't matter," Will let out a third sigh as he stood up, the bottle still in his hand. "I've seen everything myself." He looked down at Jack with cold, hard eyes. "I saw her kiss you that day."

Jack gulped and looked away as he took a swig of rum. "That was her idea, mate, not mine." It was true enough that it was her idea, but that didn't mean he didn't go along with it. It didn't mean that he hadn't (happily) kissed her back.

"I know. She told me everything." Jack half-expected an apology from him on her behalf, but was hardly surprised when he didn't get one. "It's your choice now, Jack," he began to walk away, without looking back.

It's your choice now, Jack. Well, what was that supposed to mean?? He sat there, pondering for several more moments. To be or not to be. To go to her or not to go to her. A great part of him wanted to go to her, quite desperately, in fact. Yet another great part of him told him not to, that no good would come of it. He smirked. No good came of anything when a pirate was involved. He slowly rose to his feet, setting the empty bottle on the ground outside the door. It was time to sink or swim, and Jack was a damn good swimmer.

Besides, she was sleeping… there'd be no harm in poking his head inside for a peek to assure she was okay… was there? He leaned into the wooden door and opened it just as quietly as Will had, but was surprised when a pair of eyes met his from across the room. She was standing at the window, the full moonlight illuminating her figure as well as the rest of the small, cramped space. She was holding herself lightly, her arms wrapped gingerly around her torso, and she only glanced at him for a brief moment before turning to look back out the window.

"What is it? What do you want?" she asked, her voice tired and broken, heavy with sorrow. She did not look at him as she spoke.

"Just… came to see if there was anything ye needed, is all," he muttered quietly, preparing to make his exit.

"There's one thing." She cleared her throat, taking a few steps back from the window, her arms still crossed. She looked to him, her eyes wide and glossy. He stepped back into the room, nodding slightly, his own silent way of telling her anything. He'd do anything. "Could you open the window for me? I tried myself, but the latch is stuck."

"Old ship," Jack said quietly as he quickly walked across the room. He did as he was asked with no argument and took a step back, watching her with a sort of stupor-like gaze as the cool, night breeze instantly wafted through the room, ruffling through her golden hair. Without looking at him, she walked to the opening, standing a bit too close for his comfort. "Elizabeth?" he edged to the side, keeping his eyes trained on her face. She closed her own eyes, leaning forward still.

Every endless night

Has a dawning day

Every darkened sky

Has a shining ray

"If I jumped, who would miss me?" Elizabeth's voice cracked as she spoke, but she pressed on. She flung her eyes open, tears instantly dribbling down her cheek and rolling over her chin.

"Lizzie…"

"I mean it!" she cried, the sudden strength in her voice startling him. "My mother's dead. My father's dead!" She grabbed onto the open window pane. "I broke things off with Will and he likely hates me for it!"

"No," Jack his head firmly. He slowly, cautiously inched forward so that half of his body was covering the window opening. "No, he doesn't hate you for it. He's hurt by it, but he could never hate you. You know that, Lizzie, as well as I do." He watched, a heavy pang hitting his chest as she squeezed her teary eyes shut.

"Would you miss me?"

And it shines on you

Baby, can't you see?

You're the only one

Who can shine for me

Her words hit him hard and he gulped, disallowing himself to show the same emotion that was so plainly written on her face. He closed his eyes briefly, imagining a world without Lizzie. His mind fluttered back to that day, that day that seemed so long ago, when the same pair of wide eyes stared up at him from a wet dock in Port Royal. If he had only known then what he knew now… he would have hoisted her over his shoulder and taken her with him when he made his escape.

He could not, would not, let her jump. As long as he had a breath in his body, he would make sure she stayed with him, stayed on the Pearl, stayed alive. Jack was a master of words, this he knew to be true, but in that particular moment, he didn't know what to say. He had to convince her that she had better options, but he didn't know how. He was at a loss. Something had to give way, but to save Lizzie's life, he didn't care. He'd allow himself to become the biggest whelp the world had ever known if it meant saving her.

With a single step forward, he placed one hand on either side of her face, stroking her cheeks lightly with his thumbs, brushing her tears away. It was now or never. The feelings he had been harboring for so long had to come out now. Without speaking a single word and without allowing her the time to pull away, he bent his head down and softly, yet firmly, pressed his lips to hers.

It's a private emotion

That fills you tonight

And a silence falls between us

As the shadows steal the light

"Jack…" Elizabeth's voice cracked again when he pulled away. Her eyes remained closed.

"Lizzie," he whispered, his voice so soft she could scarcely believe it was his. This was a side of Jack she had never seen before, a side she had longed to see and only wanted to see more of. "If you jump out that window, I'll follow you."

"Jack…?"

"Shh," he continued, briefly brushing his lips over hers. "My world would never be the same without you in it." She opened her eyes at this, blinking away a few stray tears as his deadly serious dark orbs met hers. He chuckled lightly, looking away for a moment. "I know. Curious, isn't it?"

And wherever you may find it

Wherever it may lead

Let your private emotion come to me

Come to me

"Jack… Jack… Jack…!" Elizabeth said his name again and again, as if saying it brought her some sort of strange, new perspective. Her breathing became staggered and broken before she started to wheeze. Her voice grew more strained with each cry of his name and before she could stop herself, before she could dig deep and find the strength and the courage she felt she needed, she had broken down again.

Her knees began to give way and she expected to hit the floor, but something caught her. A strong pair of arms wound their way around her back, clutching her to him. His warm scent surrounded her, overwhelming her even more as she cried against him, allowing her tears to soak into the fabric of his shirt.

"Shh, Lizzie. Don't cry, my darlin', it's alright," he whispered, holding her with a sensitivity and an understanding that she could scarcely believe.

When your soul is tired and your heart is weak

Do you think of love as a one-way street?

Well it runs both ways, open up your eyes

Can't you see me here?

How can you deny?

Elizabeth felt one of his arms loosen itself from her and she vaguely made out the clicking of the window closing behind them. He was her rescuer. He had saved her, again. Before she could gather her thoughts and coherently come up with something to say to him, anything that might fit the way she was feeling, she felt the loosened arm lower to the bend of her legs and she became weightless.

She allowed her head to fall against his shoulder, burying her face against him as he made his way towards the bunk. It was small and would not comfortably sleep two people. She had expected him to set her down and kneel on the floor beside her, but once again, he surprised her.

Jack gently placed her down on the mattress before quickly stripping of his jacket, hat, boots and other effects. She watched him with wide, watery eyes as he effortlessly climbed over her so that his back was against the wall. Without saying a word and with a mere nod of his head, she scooted towards him, settling into the warm embrace that she had only discovered moments before… the embrace that she instantly recognized as her sanctuary, her Eden.

It's a private emotion

That fills you tonight

And a silence falls between us

As the shadows steal the light

Elizabeth closed her eyes and nuzzled her face into his warm shoulder as she felt on hand begin to run up and down her back, soothingly. The other hand wound itself into her hair, cradling her head as if she was the most valuable type of porcelain. It was ironic, she mused, that he was treating her with a gentleness that assumed she would shatter, when his presence made her feel so strong… so much like herself again.

In just a few short moments, Jack had managed to bring her from a sharp cliff that looked into a dark abyss of nothingness to a paradise that was warm and safe and secure. This was an experience she had longed to create ever since she first set eyes on him. Since that initial first meeting, her thoughts and feelings for him had steadily grown into this powerful thing that frightened and enamored her at the same time.

And wherever you may find it

Wherever it may lead

Let your private emotion come to me

Come to me

Her peaceful, blissful thoughts that were centered on Jack began to quiet, and even though her eyes were already closed, her lids felt heavy. She breathed in deep through her nose, suppressing a yawn, and grabbed onto the fabric of his shirt. She wanted to be holding onto him as she drifted into sleep, mostly from the fear that he would not be there when she woke up.

"Jack?" A yawn escaped the minute she opened her mouth.

"Aye, Lizzie?" He paused his soft humming and brushed his lips against the top of her forehead.

"Will you be here tomorrow morning?"

"Lizabeth, I wouldn't be anywhere else," he said softly. "But tomorrow night will be different."

"It… it will?" She tried with failed desperation to hide the disappointment in her voice.

"Aye. Tomorrow night, we'll be in my cabin." He paused and she looked up at him as he winced slightly. "This bunk's much too small." Elizabeth laughed.

Every endless night has a dawning day

Every darkened sky has a shining ray

It takes a lot to laugh

As your tears go by

But you can find me here

Until your tears run dry

When Elizabeth opened her heavy eyes the next morning, she was met with something warm and hard against her back. She stretched slightly and blinked heavily a few times before the events of the previous night came flooding back to her. She smiled to herself and turned around, ever so gently, so as not to wake Jack. She wanted the pleasure of doing that herself.

Hesitantly, she reached forward and traced the lines around his mouth with her fingers, grinning as his nose twitched. She let an amused purr out from the back of her throat and leaned in, kissing him. How she loved this man…

Last night… she never would have jumped. She never would have had the courage. But she had reached a place of utter darkness, a place of complete despair and she genuinely thought that she would never see the dawn of a new day again. Then Jack came along, in all the ways that were uniquely Jack, and he saved her. Not only did he pull her from the darkness, but he brought her to the light as well.

Oh, how she loved this man…

It's a private emotion

That fills you tonight

And the silence falls between us

As the shadows steal the light

"Mmm…" Jack moaned contentedly, smiling at her before he opened his eyes. He yawned and stretched, pulling her closer to him. "What a pleasant way to start the morning, wouldn't you agree, Lizzie?"

"Yes," she replied, laughing softly. She sighed before running her fingers through his thick, dark hair. "It seems we have a lot to talk about."

"Aye, it seems we do," he agreed, nodding slightly before kissing the end of her nose, making both of them smile. "But we've all the time in the world to do it. There's no rush, luv."

And wherever you may find it

Wherever it may be

Let your private emotion come to me

Come to me

"Jack?"

"Mm?"

"I… I love you."

Jack smiled. It wasn't a grin or his usual trademark smirk. It was a smile. "I love you too, Lizzie-beth."

Let your private emotion come to me

Come to me

Come to me


A/N: Well, guys, that's it!

Thanks so much for reading, now go review! ;)