That was fast. I guess I'm quite obsessed with Nadie/Ellis right now. You should maybe read "In denial" first, cause this fanfic here can be seen as an alternate version of chapter two and following. It won't be as long as the other fanfic though - I've planned only two chapters, although they have an open end. Well, we'll see how it works out.
Disclaimer: Nadie and Ellis aren't mine, neither is their anime. I'm sad. I wanna write a sequel.
Nadie was acting silly.
This was a new thing for Ellis. Since she had known the red-haired girl, Ellis had always admired Nadie. Because of her strength and that she could stand her ground in a world dominated by men. Because of her ability to deal with most different people – from being a cocky, yet determined opponent in a gunfight to being a helpful and caring person around her friends. And also... because of her beauty. Nadie wouldn't agree with that. Ellis knew that Nadie thought really pretty girls wouldn't be considered equal to men, but Ellis didn't think so. Because of her profession Nadie had an exotic appearance... a graceful, trained body, although hidden under her poncho most of the time... expressive eyes, which could be full of willpower and confidence in battle, but friendly and soft when looking at Ellis... long, surprisingly soft hair, entrancing when flowing in the wind.
And she was the only person Ellis liked to touch. She had always been quite indifferent to other humans. Yes, she had enjoyed it, when the professor had ruffled her hair, but she hadn't had the urge to return this. And she had liked ruffling Lirio's hair, holding the little girl's hand and playing with her in the pool of the hotel, where they had met. But this had been a... how did Nadie call it? A motherly feeling of taking care of somebody worth protecting. But with Nadie it was different. It simply felt good to touch Nadie... holding her hand, leaning on her shoulder, hugging her. It even was addictive, because Ellis never wanted to let go of the touch once it had started.
And she wasn't really hiding it. She loved being with Nadie... more than anything. But she still didn't know how to express her feelings very well. Sure, she knew how to act for expressing basic emotions, another thing she had learned thanks to Nadie, but a complex feeling like... love? She didn't know what to do. If Nadie asked her, she would tell her right away. But Nadie would never do that. Because she was deceiving herself. She was telling herself that she was Ellis' protector, teacher, motherly friend – and she WAS all that. But after all the time they had spent together, all the dangers they had faced together, Ellis knew that Nadie was feeling much more for her.
She had noticed all the small gestures. She knew them from the romance novels Nadie had allowed her to read. The small touches Nadie used to show her affection, like Nadie herself taking Ellis' hand while walking through town together, maybe without even noticing. And the bigger touches, like hugging Ellis fiercly, when she had briefly disappeared in the corn field of this old ghost-man once. Nadie didn't like touching people, Ellis had noticed that – even if she was a friendly person and didn't mind to talk to them at all. But she avoided touching them, unwittingly keeping her distance, a bounty-hunter-reflex maybe... and yet she had never hesitated to touch Ellis.
And the glances. When Ellis was looking at her, Nadie's face often showed a worried, amused or annoyed expression, and most of the time her eyes were warm and soft. But when she thought that Ellis couldn't see her... then her glances became really tender sometimes. Like when Ellis was in bed, seemingly asleep. But Ellis didn't need to look at Nadie – she could FEEL the other girl looking at her. She didn't know if that was a side effect of her witch powers, maybe because she had used them so often to heal Nadie's injuries or even bring the girl back from the brink of death. But Ellis always had this pleasant feeling then, like if Nadie's tender views were actually caressing Ellis' skin. And Nadie was doing that quite often, even if she was telling herself, that she felt for Ellis like she'd do for a little sister. Yet do you follow every curve of your sister's body with your eyes, while she's asleep?
And there also was the jealousy. Granted, Ellis had been jealous too... back then, when Nadie had been dining with Ricardo. Back then she had thought that it was just the feeling of neglect, but now she knew that she had actually been jealous... angry that Nadie was interested in someone else than her and worried that Ricardo could take her away from Ellis. This had been the time when she had started to wonder, what kind of feelings she really had for Nadie. But Nadie had shown such signs too. Back then, when they had met Antonio and his beautiful wife Margarita. Ellis had complimented Margarita, told her how good she was looking in her Amigo-Tacos-uniform, and Nadie had been quite angry because of that... had asked Ellis, if Nadie herself had looked bad in that kind of dress. And Ellis had seen the fear in Nadie's eyes... the pain when L.A. had told Ellis, that Nadie had just been hired to protect Ellis, nothing more. But Ellis had already known back then, that she was more for Nadie than just a job.
But Ellis didn't get, why Nadie couldn't just admit her feelings. Ellis had already tried to draw Nadie out several times. Like when she had posed in her Amigo-Tacos-uniform in front of Nadie. And well, Nadie HAD been startled by that... Ellis even thought that the girl had blushed a little. Or when Ellis had told Roberto and Nina, that she and Nadie couldn't stay with them... because she loved the freedom in Nadie's eyes when they were travelling. Ellis had even asked Nadie if they weren't a cute couple, right after this dinner with Ricardo. But she had felt that Nadie had been a little scared by that question, so she hadn't pressed any further. It had been too early.
Maybe... Nadie was scared of forming a deep relationship. To become a bounty hunter she had been forced to become strong... hard... able to suppress her feelings when leveling her weapon on a random guy. Yes, she certainly was able to be friendly with other people, more than Ellis was anyhow. But unlike Ellis Nadie seemed to be frightened by the thought of needing someone to continue living... maybe because she was scared of losing this person due to her dangerous lifestyle. Ellis understood that better than anyone. She had lost the professor, her father-figure, the only one she had known, who had cared for her in her youth. And the pain had been beyond description... until Ellis had learned to suppress her feelings nearly completely, becoming a human shell, feeling no pain anymore... and no happiness either. Or anything. No, Ellis didn't want Nadie to be in pain because of losing someone dear to her... but she didn't want her to deny her feelings either. The prize was way too high.
And besides... Nadie was already in pain. Like the professor had been in pain, denying his growing feelings for Ellis. His life had been sad, until he had finally admitted that Ellis was a daughter to him... not a „specimen". Sometimes at night, when Ellis was feeling Nadie's glances touching her body tenderly, she could also feel a glimpse of Nadie's pain. Because Nadie was deceiving herself. And this was no good lie, like the one Ellis had told the dying Don. This lie was hurting Nadie, because Nadie WANTED to love Ellis. But she was holding herself back. All the time. Because she was afraid of the pain of separation. And maybe because she wanted to save Ellis from this pain too, if something happened to Nadie.
Nadie was thinking far too complicated. She didn't even see that she could be happy again, if she just admitted her feelings... maybe not forever, but at least for some time. Maybe she even thought that she had to save Ellis from Nadie herself, because Ellis was still mostly a child in her opinion. That she wasn't allowed to destroy Ellis' innocence. Rubbish! Ellis had given her whole being to Nadie as a present long ago. Nadie was just too afraid to open the present. She thought that Ellis was not mature enough for that kind of love. But she was wrong.
Ellis had been waiting for someone like Nadie for a long time. For someone whom she could trust. Someone who would take care of her. Someone who would make her happy again... and someone whom she wanted to make happy too. She wanted Nadie to be happy, no matter what. That's why she had told Roberto and Nina, that they couldn't stay with them. Because she knew that Nadie was happiest when there were just the two of them, free without any obligations... at least now.
Ellis loved Nadie. She was IN LOVE with Nadie. She knew Nadie thought that Ellis couldn't understand such a feeling yet. But Ellis knew this feeling very well. She wanted to be with Nadie forever. She wanted Nadie to be happy. She wanted Nadie to be happy, because she was with Ellis. She knew that she was still quite unaware of the more... physical aspects of love, that had been hinted in her romance novels, but she even wanted to share this kind of love with no one else but Nadie. She already had tried to imagine, how kissing Nadie would feel like, and ever since then the... urge to do it had been growing inside of her. Because it would end Nadie's denial and show the true feelings of both of them. She wanted to be the one to fulfill all of Nadie's wishes... because Nadie had fulfilled Ellis' wish not to be alone anymore. With Nadie she had always felt safe... content... cared for. Loved.
It pained Ellis that Nadie was hurting herself. It pained her that Nadie didn't love her enough to shove her fear aside, to admit her true feelings. Ellis wanted to help Nadie finally recognizing them. To end Nadie's self-afflicted torment. To start the time of happiness they would share. Ellis was ready. And to prevent Nadie from hurting herself any longer... she was willing to take drastic measures.
Don't worry, there won't be too drastic measures in the next chapter - no bondage queen Ellis, folks. Yet she WILL be more aggressive than in "In denial". Told you I'd maybe write a fanfic with Ellis being the dominant girl.