A/N: Just a what if story. Complete joke.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Stargate characters just the plot below.

--"Damnit!" exclaimed Daniel Jackson. Anthropologist, Archaeologist and Linguist to the SGC had a problem, a BIG problem. He had awoken in his tent with a very full bladder.

However he was reluctant to leave his tent due to the extreme cold outside. Unfortunately however his love of coffee had its consequences.

As the weather was so bad and the planet had thus far seemed uninhabited they had decided to forgo there watch rota, because of this Jack was currently inside the tent with him and sleeping to close for comfort at this present moment.

They needed to be close to preserve body heat but when he really needed to move he was unable to.

Daniel tried to life Jacks arm off of himself but it was proving too difficult.

"Jack…Jack…" whispered Daniel. Daniel tried nudging Jack at the same time but it wasn't working. Jack was too heavy.

"Jack please wake up it's important…" there wasn't even a twitch. Jacks left arm and leg were on top of him so he couldn't even wriggle out. Finally he lost patience and jabbed Jack sharply in the ribs calling his name.

"What?? What's wrong? What's happening? Danny what time is it?"

"I don't know Jack but I have to go to the bathroom."

"Then what'd you wake me up for? Permission?"

"No Jack but I can't move with you lying on top of me!"

"On top of you…oh…sorry…" Jack rolled of Daniel and gave him his freedom. Quickly Daniel put on his Jacket and left the tent at an unusual angle.

When he looked around he was disappointed to see that there were no real objects, plants or trees which he could hide behind to relieve himself. Just large spans of flat snow and ice. Not good. Daniel jumped a foot in the air when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Relax Danny, I needed to go myself, thought I'd come with you…"

"Oh…" Daniel stood still looking lost. That was when Jack realised the problem they both faced.

"Carter and Teal'c are asleep you know…we could push some snow over it if you like…they won't know…". They agreed that seemed to be the best course of action.

"Eh…should we…separate or…just stay here??" asked Daniel.

"Just stay here I think. Easier to hide…yea…"

Awkwardly they both pulled down their zip's, the noise shockingly loud.

"Come on Daniel…it's not like we've never seen each other before. Plus this is a perfectly normal bodily function. We don't have to worry about this." said Jack.

"Yea, your right." However Daniel still didn't pull his member out. Despite it's throbbing pain. Jack shrugged his shoulders, pulled his dick out and pushing back the foreskin a little started to urinate in front of Daniel. The sight nearly made Daniel wet his pants yet he held on and did not move to touch himself.

When Jack finished he gave a satisfied smile only to frown when he realised Daniel still hadn't gone yet.

"Performance anxiety?" Jack joked. When Daniel didn't laugh Jack zipped himself back up and walked towards the man.

"Look Daniel you obviously need to go or you'll burst. Now I can leave you alone if you want will that help?" Daniel shook his head in the negative.

"No. It's alright. I'm fine." Daniel turned slightly and moved his hand to the front of his pants. He still did not take his member out though. Jack sighed and said, "Come here!".

Daniel turned towards Jack surprised. However he was even more surprised when Jack slipped his hand into Daniels pants and pulled his member out. Carefully he pushed back the skin and after a moment Daniel released.

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A/N: Please review and let me know what you think.