DISCLAIMER Scarecrow & Mrs. King is copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Shoot The Moon Production Company. The original portions of this story, however, are copyrighted to the author. This story is for entertainment purposes only and cannot be redistributed without the permission of the author. If you want to put it on your site, please email me, I would like to thank you for the high compliment. No profit is being made, no infringement of copyright is intended. This is a labor of love, and twisted memories of a youth wasted watching way too much TV.

The challenge was to work as many TV show titles into the story as you could. I'll admit—I split titles with punctuation—but that wasn't forbidden so I decided to go for it. And I slipped a movie title in, but hey, it fit so why not?

Fatherly Advise

By Ermintrude

After Christmas, December 1986.

Lee took the steps to the Library of Congress two at a time. He was in a hurry and he needed to meet with TP Aquinas. He was almost at the door. It was just ONE STEP BEYOND. Once inside he unbuttoned his coat and walked to the reading room. TP had said he would be sitting in the back.

Lee looked around the corner-there he was—the MAN IN A SUITCASE. TP Aquinas was sitting at a table reading, with his briefcase phone in front of him.

"Hey TP." Lee whispered. "Thanks for agreeing to help on short notice."

"Hello Lee." TP replied softly. He looked around. "Are you alone? Where's your GUIDING LIGHT?"


"Mrs. King—she's usually got most of your attention when she's around. "

"She's checking another source—we had to split the duties on this one."

TP nodded. "Let me give you some advise—you only have ONE LIFE TO LIVE, and Mrs. King has changed you for the better—why not make her a DECEMBER BRIDE?"

Lee was taken aback—was his engagement to Amanda now common knowledge? "Ah, TP—Amanda and I are just partners—there's nothing more between us."

TP nodded. "You can have your little COVER UP Lee—I won't say a word. But I hope you manage to find some happiness together—you both deserve it."

"Yeah. Ah TP, I came to ask you about William POLDARK—the international criminal."

"Ah yes, THE BARON, as he's known to his associates in the world of crime."

"Yeah. We think he's in D.C. planning a heist—he's planning to SWITCH a forgery for a masterpiece at the Smithsonian. We don't know what he's planning to take—can you get any information on that and his gang, THE CHAMPIONS?

"Usually, IT TAKES A THIEF, TO CATCH A THIEF, but I think I have a few connections that might prove worthwhile."

"Good. I'd like to make the Baron into THE PRISONER. I'd love to get that guy behind bars—so please, anything you can dig up on the guy and his associates would be appreciated."

"I think I'll call a friend who makes a living escorting wealthy men. She knows what kind of a woman would be a TURN-ON for him."

"Good idea. The Baron was never known as THE SAINT—he's notched bedposts from DALLAS to HAWAII. FIVE-O states, and he's has a girl in every one of them."

"For an international criminal, that sort of behavior is a DANGER."

"MAN–if we can catch him… He's thumbed his nose at us for years. Is your friend reliable?"

"She's originally from MIAMI. VICE is her specialty."

Lee nodded. "Sounds good, TP."

"I presume you're working the embassy parties this New Year's Eve."

Lee shuffled. "Not this year—I'm—ah—spending the holiday at home."

TP merely nodded his head. "You took Christmas off, too. I detect a pattern here…"

"Look, I've gotta go. Thanks for the help, TP. Call me whenever you get anything."

"Don't wait too long, Lee. HERE COME THE BRIDE'S a fine song. Let someone play it for you and Amanda. You deserve some HAPPY DAYS."

Lee didn't reply. He just left—quickly.