Author's note : Hi, thanks for reading this, hope you like, would love a review if you have the time.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, shame i know. Please don't sue.

"Can - can we rest now? Buffy... can we rest?", starting to smoke from his draped position on the cross Spike murmured he's words in an uncaring way. He was resigned and had pretty much given up ever getting the girl. Closing his eyes, he missed the tears rolling down the slayers face.

Watching the vampire burn in front of her, Buffy couldn't make herself move. She knew she should help him, but after his revelation she was frozen to the spot. He was in pain, and she was the reason. When he had first attacked her in the bathroom, she was angry. Understandably so, but, over the summer she'd come a long way. She knew it was her fault. He had been pushed to far. All he had done was love her, and she had hated him for that. But she had changed over the months. She no longer had a death wish, things had been good. Almost.

Dawn knew how she felt, they had, had a long talk about the destructive relationship. Her sister had understood, after she'd calmed down long enough to listen. When Dawn had first found out what happened in the bathroom she had wanted to kill the vampire. Then when she found out what happened in the months previous, she'd wanted to kill her sister. It wasn't until one night a week later when Dawn had heard her crying out for the lost vampire, she knew she was sorry. Even now, Buffy may not admit it, but she would get his duster out at night and sleep with it. It was the only time she ever felt truly safe. Stupid how you don't know what you have until it's gone.

A sudden cry of pain and anguish brought her from her inner ramblings. Looking up she saw Spike now sprawled along the floor, unconscious. Wiping her hand over her eyes to clear away the remnants of tears, she walked over the vampire. Taking in his burns, she was amazed he was undusty. Kneeling, she slowly lifted his head to rest it on her knees. She reached out a hand to sweep an unruly bit of hair from his eyes. This motion woke Spike up. As his eyes opened, she was drawn into them. The soul seemed to be swirling in their depths. The thing was, she noticed, they looked the same as before. With Angel you could see his soul in his eyes. So what did that that say for Spike. Maybe he always had a soul of some kind. This fact just upset her, it meant facing reality. She was the monster in their relationship. Feeling herself tear up, she felt a hand brush against her cheek. Looking away from the cross, and back at Spike she saw a look of horror on his face. "Please don't cry love, I didn't mean to make you cry."

Seeing his hand begin to pull away, Buffy reached up and pressed it back to her cheek, "No Spike you didnt make me cry, I did. I'm sorry. For everything". Before he could protest, Buffy stopped him with a chaste brush of her lips on his. "Don't talk you'll hurt yourself more. We'll wait a bit then go home and clean you up."

When Spike tried to talk this time Buffy let him, "Clem's still in the crypt, he can help me".

"No Spike your coming with me, I want to help you. You can stay in the basement for now, there's a bed down there.

Seeing the need to argue written on his face, she pressed on. "Please Spike, let me help you rest".

With a groan, he nodded, to weak to answer. That cross really did a number on him.

"Thankyou Spike, now sleep, i'll wake you soon".

Closing his eyes from exhaustion and pain, the last thing he saw was Buffy's watery smile. This was why he had won the soul. This was why he had come back. Her. It was always her.

So in the lap of the slayer the master vampire rested.