Author's note: This is the result of a plot bunny given to me by MabelReid (thanks!). I hope you all enjoy this tiny peak into the mind of our beloved genius.
Derek Morgan glanced up from his desk toward where Emily Prentiss stood guard just outside of the break room. He studied her expression intently, awaiting his "all clear" signal. When she finally met his eyes, she gave him a tiny nod. He responded with one of his own and moved quickly to put his plan into action. His window of opportunity was small, and he only had one chance for success. If he was caught…well he just couldn't be caught!
As he reached Spencer Reid's desk, he looked towards Prentiss again to be sure it was safe. She nodded again and mouthed for him to get going. Wasting no more time, he grabbed Reid's well-worn messenger bag from the desk chair and jogged to the safety of Garcia's office. Almost there…He glanced around worriedly but saw no one. Two loud taps gained him entrance to the sanctuary, and he sank into the spare chair in relief. "Whew," he muttered, 'that was too close!"
Garcia swiveled from her babies to give him a hard stare. "Now just you remember Hot Stuff, I had no part in this scheme of yours, and if my Sweet Cheeks comes after you I offer you no protection."
"Understood, mama. I'm not afraid."
"Well, maybe you should be darling. I wouldn't want to make Reid angry."
"I'll be ok. Now, let's see what's in this thing before he hunts me down." With that, Morgan sat on the floor and opened the latch on the tattered bag. When he lifted the flap, he was mildly surprised to see things were orderly. No stray pages floated around but there were nearly a dozen file folders neatly placed and color-coded. A one-inch, bright blue, three ring binder and a thick spiral notebook sat closest to the back of the large inner pocket. Morgan briefly perused the contents of the folders and binder; he found nothing but various case files and related research materials. Nothing of interest here…let's see what else there is. He flipped open the notebook and scanned the pages. It seemed to be a journal of sorts, filled with random observations, quotes, and stats. I'll have to read all of this when I have more time. Maybe the next time we room together I can sneak this away. He unzipped the small inner pocket and found an IPod and earbuds carefully wrapped in a striped case. "Huh," he murmured softly. "I didn't know he had one of these."
"One of what darling," Garcia asked without turning around?
"An IPod," he absently replied as he turned it on to examine the playlists. He scrolled through the songs, noting that they were categorized and alphabetized. Only Reid he thought with amusement. There was the expected classical group-though it was one of the smaller ones-along with a large jazz section. That wasn't a surprise as he'd met Reid's musician friend who was also a talented jazz player. He grinned at the thought of Reid singing along to the half-dozen country songs he found, but he had to admit he had a few of the same ones safely hidden on his computer at home. The real shocker came from the extensive rock section. Morgan was stunned to read the list that included heavy metal artists and songs he would never associate with the rather subdued genius. This is amazing! I just can't imagine him listening to some of these. He must have spoken aloud because he glanced up to see Garcia staring at him with a questioning expression.
"Sorry mama, I just never thought that Reid would listen to hard rock."
"Oh, that," she responded as she turned back to her work. "Yeah, he does. He's got some good stuff on there."
"You already knew about this?"
"Well of course gorgeous. Reid is my friend after all. We've shared playlists on more than one occasion."
"Huh," he replied. "He's never shared with me before."
"Well, maybe he just assumes the same as the rest of us."
"That you only have booty music on your IPod."
"What? You all think that?"
"Of course Derek. That's the impression we get anyway. Plus, that's what you're always blaring when you leave the parking garage."
"Oh," he said. "I guess that's fair then. Maybe I'll have to ask Reid if he likes blues one day." Garcia's reflection winked at him from a screen. He replaced the IPod in its case and zipped the pocket closed. "Now I can move on to the front," he stated while examining the slots lining the outside of the large compartment. At first he found nothing unusual: Reid's ID badge, a few membership cards to various libraries and bookstores, emergency contact information, and a 3x5 picture of the team taken at the last office party. Finally he reached the last small section, which was secured with two snaps. He smirked as he pulled out three tubes of Chapstick. "Whoa," he exclaimed softly.
"Knew what babycakes?"
"Chapstick," he answered.
"Well of course he carries Chapstick. How else do you think he keeps those fabulous lips?"
"I, uh, never thought much about it I guess."
"It's not really that surprising."
"No, I guess not," he muttered as he felt around for something lying on the bottom of the pocket. It felt like waxy paper…
"Got it," he yelled triumphantly, then he immediately dropped the item as realization of what it was hit him. "Damn," he shouted in surprise and horror. "What the hell man?"
"What are you going on about now?" Garcia asked impatiently.
"It's…a condom wrapper." Morgan stared disbelievingly at the object as he choked on the words.
"Really?" That had Garcia's attention, and she spun around to verify.
Morgan gingerly picked it up by the torn corner to put it back. As he lifted it, he noticed that what appeared to be folded paper stuck out of the opening. "What the…" he muttered as curiosity took over. He gently removed the note and unfolded the half sheet of paper. "Who hides notes in condom wrappers," he asked rhetorically as he looked at the text. His eyes widened as he saw his name typed across the top of the page:
Please be sure to put everything back exactly as you found it. I hate when things are out of order.
"No way," he whispered. "How the hell did he do that?"
"What does it say," Garcia asked curiously, as she watched him.
He read the note to her, and she smirked at him. In response to his unasked question she said, "It looks like you underestimated our genius profiler once again." He shot a wimpy glare at her and she giggled. "Maybe now you'll learn to leave my dollface alone."
"Not a chance," he laughed as he folded the paper and replaced it carefully. He gave the bag a once-over as he toyed with the idea of rearranging all of the songs on Reid's playlist just to annoy him. Now that I don't have to hide it, I might as well play a little joke...nah…maybe Garcia's right. Now he had to figure out his plan of action for returning the bag. Should I just walk up to him and hand it over? Should I wait for him to leave again? Can I bribe Garcia into keeping it here and pretending she took it to keep it away from me?
Someone knocking on the door interrupted his scheming. Crap! I hope that isn't Hotch! He looked around frantically for somewhere to hide the bag, then he decided to just play it cool. No one had to know Reid hadn't left it here. He sat casually in the chair and propped the bag against the wall next to him. His heart sank as Reid entered with Garcia's consent. Just act natural, just be cool. He repeated his mantra as he returned Reid's greeting. He barely heard Reid and Garcia's conversation over his roaring pulse and the pathetic excuses running through his mind. He didn't even notice Reid approaching him until their eyes met. Reid was looking at him with a mixture of amusement and annoyance. "Are you finished with that now?"
"What," he replied as his brain tried to decipher the question? Reid pointed to the bag sitting innocently nearby.
"I asked if you were finished. I need to find a file." The words were so nonchalant that it totally threw him off-guard. He winced internally as he stuttered out a weak, inarticulate answer.
"Thanks," he said as he lifted the bag and started for the door. Morgan's brain kicked into gear as Reid touched the doorknob. He felt his skin flush with embarrassment as he spoke.
"Uh, Reid, you aren't…um…how did you…?" Reid started at him as he stumbled over the words before finally finishing the sentence for him.
"How did I know you would search my bag?" Morgan nodded meekly. "I've known you would since the first week I arrived. I wondered why you took this long, though I'd prefer it if you had just asked me."
Morgan was dumbfounded. "But, how?"
"I'm a profiler, Morgan, and a decent one at that. I saw you trying to look in here during our first team meeting, and at nearly everyone since then."
Morgan couldn't keep the stupid grin off his face. He'd been busted, and there was no way around it now. "Yeah, you're right of course. I just wondered why you guarded the thing like it carried the Holy Grail."
"Well, I do like to have it around. I use these things on a daily basis. But, it also give you, and a lot of others, something to speculate about."
Morgan's jaw dropped. "What? You mean you carry that around everywhere just to make us wonder?"
"Yeah, that's pretty much it," he responded lightly as he turned and left.
Morgan stared at the closed door in amazement as Garcia snickered behind hime. He glared at her and prepared to make a smart remark. Instead, he groaned as he remembered that he still had to finish Emily's reports as payment for her lookout services.