The unwritten rules of the SGC.

Disclaimer: I do not own SG-1 or anything associated with them. If I did, Pete would have been killed in a very nasty way, O'Neill would never, ever had left, the frat regs would have been thrown out the window and Janet wouldn't have died! cough

Plot: OK, I'm bored, have insomnia. I'm moving out of my house to a university 350 miles away, so I am completely and utterly wrecked.

I started watching the old re-runs, and in my group of friends anyway, we have unwritten rules, and I started to think, wouldn't they have unwritten rules as well?

So these will be short, (in some cases very short) lists, stories etc… this will cover, betting, general attitude, clothing, attitudes to other species, what happens in an emergency etc…

(If this has been done before, I do apologise but, in my sleep deprived state I sadly could not find it. If anyone else can I would appreciate being told)

Rated: T for bad language…

Pairings: I would be a liar if I said it didn't have S/J implied…or D/V implied, or D/J implied or T/I…heck, just look out for pairings.

AN1: For those waiting on "Jack and the Devil" I am very sorry, I can't seem to write anything that I am happy with, I promise you, it will be updated by the end of October at the very LEAST! If it isn't, hunt me down, tie me to a steak and burn me!

AN2: Don't count on an update for at least 3 weeks. So you are getting a 2 for 1 deal. As I said, I'm moving, and then fresher's week, the start of my Uni course…yeah, so apologies.

AN3: if I don't get at least 6 reviews there won't be an update!

No Beta, all mistakes are mine and mine alone (and muses', but I can't blame her)

Ok, enough prattle, on with the mini stories


(The 13 unwritten rules for betting)

It is common knowledge, at least among the older members of the SGC, that betting on the outcomes of each mission, as well as the personal lives of some of the more important members, 

was perfectly acceptable, and I'm some cases expected. Even the newer recruits soon became accustomed to the ins and outs of the SGC betting system.

Each new member, was informed of the 'unwritten' (although, there were rumours circulating that someone had written them) rules when it came to betting.

1) Each short running bet must be changed each week.

This is for a simple reason. Bets that run on for longer usually end up being forgotten. Not to mention, that if a bet runs for longer than a week, you can bet your bottom dollar that something else would have come along.

Short running bets, such as how long after Sg1 goes off world will they be coming in hot, would provide short lived entertainment, with small win-falls that usually brought a round at the bar.

2) Each win from an injury related bet must, at least partly, be put back into the betting subjects.

It was agreed, that, should a member of the SGC be injured in the line of duty (which was not uncommon) then anyone who benefitted should make a contribution to the 'get well' fund.

It was also commonly agreed that it should be anonymous. This was the reason Walter often had unnamed packages taped to, or resting on top of, his storage locker.

The amount won, was also directly related to how big the 'contribution' was.

When Walter, who, after a surprising amount of good luck, finally got injured after an 11 month run, finally regained consciousness, a large white box was waiting on the floor next to his bed.

In the box contained every novelty item the Simpsons' had ever made coming in at a total of 1500.

3) Each bet made on SG1 must never, ever, reach the ears of Jack O'Neill

This is for the simple, and understandable reason, you do not want a pissed off Jack O'Neill after your ass.

This rule came about after an unfortunate incident with the Tok'ra. It was well known that Jack O'Neill had very little patience when it came to dealing with the Tok'ra so betting on it was common. The bet in question was "How long will it take before Col. Jack O'Neill causes an interstellar incident" the winner was a new airman who had been a little more than lucky to have guessed 40 mins.

Gossiping in a corridor, winnings in hand and thanking said Col's lack of patience when he was coming around the corridor, however, was unlucky. A fact that was confirmed when the airman was swiftly transferred to Area 51.

4) Bets placed on SG1's missions must never be repeated over a 4 week period

The original rule was

"Bets places on SG1's missions must never be the same each week"

It was agreed that it was a pointless rule. SG1, who were nicknames the unluckiest team in the world, never had a quiet week, and each week never repeated itself.

But betting that Daniel would die, Sam would be possessed, Teal'c would switch allegiances and Jack would piss a culture off, week in week out, was getting boring and stale.

Hence the rule was changed to make sure a minimum of a 4 week rotation was added.

5) Each win from betting on Daniel's death must provide the biggest wreath at the memorial service

It started off by coincidence, the first injury on the flag ship team happened to be death, and it just happened to be Daniel. He was the firm favourite for the simple reason he was not military trained (that or Col. O'Neill would shoot him).

The winner had taken it upon themselves to bring the biggest wreath to his memorial service.

When it became more socially acceptable to bet on Daniel's death, or rather the outcome of Daniel's death, the tradition was picked up, and made into a rule.

6) Death does not immediately invalidate the bet.

With the amount of times the members of the SGC (or more particularly Sg1) escaped death, cheated death, came back to life, descended or just 'appeared', it was common practice to wait at least 6 months before the closure of a bet due to death.

7) Once a long running bet has been made, you can only bet once.

It would seem obvious, that if the bet ran long enough, people's opinions would change, things would happen. Covering all your options was not allowed, you could remove your original bet and place a new one but you must not have 2 bets at the same time.

8) Each bet must never endanger the career of the subjects

While betting on whether two members 'hooked up' was common, it was also phrased so that if the bet fell into the hands, or on the ears or people who were less then cooperative with the SGC, no career would be placed in danger.

Bets on who retired first out of the two of them were also common, but the reason always had to be in code. This code was another unwritten rule of the SGC

No names were ever written down, instead the system of "I'm placing a bet on whether those 2..." or "Is the bet on the 2 of them…" or "is the bet on the 'you know what'…" was used. Making it confusing, but safe.

9) Bets placed on aliens must be fair.

This rule was introduced after the "Great cake incident"

The great cake incident was the stuff of SG-legend. It would remain a story told to children at bedtimes long after it was decommissioned.

Still sore after the death of Daniel, and having appointed Jonas after refusing point blank to hire a Russian, Jack took the opportunity to introduce Jonas to the SGC betting system.

It started off as an 'in team' bet, which spiralled out as word of the feat got out.

Simply put, Jack told Jonas that there was a custom on earth which meant that he had to eat all the cake he could in an hour, without throwing up

3 hours, 89 pieces of cake, 900, and a trip to the infirmary later, it was decided that to take advantage of Aliens was unfair, funny, but unfair

10) You must not influence the outcome of the bet

Placing bets on your own team was a fun was to add a dynamic to the group, and it gave you an unfair advantage. This wasn't frowned upon, after all, 60 were soldiers and 40 were scientists too busy to notice.

Influencing the outcome, however, was frowned upon, and the penalty was delivering bad news to Col. O'Neill for the appropriately deemed time.

Covering for your own team mates also earned you a punishment, not only did it make you an SG-outcast for a few days. (The last piece of cake would mysteriously vanish, the coffee would be drained before you got there, and the needles would be jammed in extra hard) it also meant having to explain the behaviour to the people who were clueless about the bet.

11) You cannot place bets on bets

Placing bets on who would win bets, was agreed to be taking betting a step too far.

At any one time there would be up to 20 different bets being run at a time, adding bets on who would win those bets meant 40, betting on those bets would make it 60…confusing at the best of times

12) If you have sought out independent information before placing the bet, and didn't win, you cannot deprive said informant of coffee for revenge.

Coffee, it was the fuel that kept the SGC running smoothly, 99 of everyone on base depended on coffee, and those that didn't, were lying.

It was Daniel that was the unfortunate victim which prompted the rule being made. The week that Captain Haman lost the bet on who would react the most strongly to the Gou'ald summit on earth, Daniel's coffee suddenly switched to decaf.

If the SGC though Col. O'Neill was bad without coffee, they had never met a Decaf-Daniel. People saw him coming, and promptly ran in the opposite direction.

Which lead to a memo being circulated, "To whoever controls the bets at the SCG, from General Hammond's office, under no circumstance is revenge to be taken by deprival of coffee or caffeine, anyone who does so will find themselves cleaning out toilets in Antarctica."

13) If the President makes a bet, you can too

If at any time you were unsure if it was safe to place a bet, there was one rule you went by.

If the president has placed a bet, you were safe to do so too.

Normally, the president restricted himself to "important bets", when he started to win, a lot, this broadened into "occasional bets" It was not uncommon for General Hammond to place two bets at a time, one for himself, one from the red phone.

The majority of the president's bet's, however was on a certain pair, or in the later years through General Landry, two certain pairs. This gave the rest of the SGC permission to place bets.