My Heart's Keeper
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything
"Child abuse casts a shadow the length of a lifetime."
By Herbert Ward
AH, AU No one knows the real Edward and the reason why he is the way he is. What is keeping him from revealing his true self? Is Bella the person who will open him up and reveal his dark past and heal his black heart? Can she be his Heart's Keeper?
The young, bronze haired boy slept anxiously, his tiny hands balled into fists obvious to anyone that were to be watching that he was having a nightmare. And there was someone watching. The tall man crept inaudibly to the side of the young boy's bed and knelt beside him; the man smiled a sadistic smile and pulled aside the blankets.
Nine Years Later
"Dad where are my keys? I'm going to be late" I screamed rushing around the house searching every possible place the keys could be.
"Sweetie calm down, where was the last place you had them" My Father, Charlie Swan, called from the kitchen.
I rolled my eyes at his question. I hate when adults asked this. If I knew the last place I had them they wouldn't be lost right?
"Ch...Dad can you be a bit more helpful. I can't be late on my first day. I can't" I wailed fully aware of how pathetic I sounded.
It was my first day at my new school, Forks High. I had just moved from my home in Phoenix two weeks ago. I had lived with my Mother Renee and my Step Father Phil and now I was in the dreary, cold and miserable town of Forks. I had left on my own accord, which I know to most people sounds crazy but I knew Renee wanted to travel with Phil which he did a lot for his baseball career, although she would never say this out loud. I knew though and that's why I allowed her a way out and went to live with Charlie…in a place I detested. Although if it would mean my Mother was happy then it was worth it.
All of this reasoning was starting to sound less and less convincing as I began to anticipate my first day at my new school. I had never been the 'new kid' before so this was a totally new experience. I missed the comfortable and predictable nature of my old school in phoenix where every day was more or less the same. I sat with the same people, had the same teachers, everything predictable, and boring yes but most definitely not scary. I'm incredibly shy around new people and find it hard to talk to people who I don't know. Once I got to know someone I couldn't shut up but if I didn't know them I was prone to blushing and becoming tongue tied. So being late especially as a new kid was frightening to me as I knew it would bring even more unwanted attention on to me.
"Bella your keys are in here on the bench" My Father called out to me I could hear in his voice he was trying not to laugh.
I pushed aside the couch cushion I was searching under and sprinted into the kitchen, my foot getting tangled on the mat and my body tumbling forward. Luckily I caught myself on the door frame before the ground rearranged my face and straightened up. I looked up and saw Charlie looking at me a bit too blankly if you ask me as if this didn't surprise him at all. Which is quite sad, I think. I guess I'm a bit clumsier then your average girl but I think my father could look a little bit more concerned.
Charlie held out my keys to me and I grabbed them from his hand and stood on my tip toes and kissed his cheek.
"Thanks Dad, I better get going"
"Sure Bells, good luck I'm sure you'll do fine. Call me if you have any troubles with your truck"
Ah yes my truck, I started to get a bit more excited it was the first time I was to drive it. It was a gift from Charlie a 'welcoming home' gift as he called it. It was big, red and sturdier then a tank which for me was a very good thing because unfortunately I drove almost as badly as I walked which to anyone who has met ever me is a terrifying concept.
The drive to school was…interesting at the very least. The truck was different to any car I had driven before. For starters it didn't have power steering so I had to practically throw my whole body weight into manoeuvring it around the bends. It was also bigger so when I finally made it to school, alive which certainly was a surprise, parking it was quite the experience. The cars that were unlucky enough to be parked either side of me got off easy when I didn't touch them at all. Breathing a sigh of relief and feeling quite proud of myself I grabbed my bag and hopped out of the car into the pouring rain.
Great, I thought this is how all my school days would be rain, rain and more rain. I wasn't used to this weather in the slightest. Back home rain was so rare many people got excited when it rain even a little bit, because it was something different then the sweltering heat. Me on the other hand couldn't get enough of the heat and sun and would rather do without the rain at all if it wasn't for the small fact the planet and humans needed it to survive.
I walked slowly to the office looking around at the school as I went. It was much smaller then my old school, rather then one big building it was bunch of smaller ones. There seemed to be a lot less students at this school too all of them in raincoats and quickly heading to class. I picked up the pace eager to get out of the freezing rain and into the hopefully warm office but I should have known walking fast was a bad move as my coordination and general observation skills, which most people had learned and perfected at a young age, were not the best. I suddenly slammed into someone who although much smaller then me was surprisingly solid and fall hard on my butt.
"Oomph" The small person said as she had also fallen to the ground.
"Oh my God I am so sorry, are you ok?" Blushing profusely I tried to get up, which was quite a difficult task, as my butt was throbbing. Finally managing it I straightened up and held out my hand to the fallen girl. My face must have been bright red and I couldn't stop apologising and cursing myself in my head for being so stupid and clumsy.
"I'm ssso sorry …..Really I am…a…are you ok I didn't hurt you did I?" I stuttered embarrassing myself further.
The tiny girl let me help her to her feet.
"Its fine…it was an accident are you sure your ok?" The girl asked me. I noticed how beautiful she was, not in the conventional way but she was tiny and skinny and had the most perfect doll like features I had ever seen. She was dressed very trendy and had a short pixie cut which many people would not be able to pull off but on her it was perfect. I suddenly felt very self-conscious. She did not look like someone who would want to be friends with me. I hoped not all girls in Forks looked like this.
"Yeah I'm fine" I said shyly "I should look where I'm going seriously I am so sorry"
"Stop apologising I forgive you already" the girl giggled "I'm Alice by the way, so you're the new girl?"
"Yeah…my names Bella"
"Nice to meet you Bella, I can already tell we are going to be great friends" She squealed excitedly clapping her hands together.
Who was this girl? I wondered to myself. Alice grabbed my hand and began pulling me along after her.
"So would you like me to show you around?" She continued without letting me answer. "Ok well first we should take you to the office and then once you get your timetable I can show you too your classes…ooh
maybe we'll even have some classes together" she said excitedly. I could barely keep up with her but nevertheless I was happy to have made a friend.
"Oh and you can sit with me at lunch and….." She continued talking telling me all the plans for today it was going to be very busy but I couldn't be happier. I would hopefully make some friends and Forks wouldn't be as bad as I thought it would be.
Beep, beep, beep
I woke up suddenly as my alarm began blaring. Another day of monotony I thought drearily to myself. Although I didn't want to go to school or even leave my bed for that matter it was better then being asleep where I couldn't control what I thought…or remembered. I got up, went to the bathroom and got dressed same as I did every morning. Although I detested the predictability of my life it was preferable to the unpredictable nature of my childhood and I knew which one I preferred.
"Edward are you awake? You're going to be late" My mother Esme called through the door.
"Yeah I'll be down in a sec" I called back. Esme was my adopted mother she and her husband Carlisle had adopted me, my brother Emmett and my sister Alice. All our biological parents had either died or in my case been…unsuitable to care for us. I was not as close to Esme and definitely not to Carlisle as Emmett and Alice were to them. But that wasn't very unusual I wasn't close to anyone. I had some friends but it was all an act. No one knew the real me and to be honest with you no one would want to.
Alice had been a saviour all day I could also tell we were going to be great friends. I was starting to open up to her more as it was almost impossible to feel tongue tied around her and my shyness was going away. I felt like I had known her for years, her enthusiasm and energy was irresistible and contagious I almost felt like squealing excitedly just like her when I found out we had three classes together but thankfully I contained myself because that would be embarrassing. Alice doing it was cute but me…not so much.
We were on our way to our first class together, English. She was talking a mile a minute about her family, her two brothers one in our year named Edward and one in the year above named Emmett, and her best friend Rose, who was also going out with Emmett, and her boyfriend Jasper who was also Rose's brother. I was trying to keep up but it was getting a bit confusing.
"I know" Alice laughed seeing my face. "It's a bit complicated, but there mostly all great, they'll love you" she hugged me excitedly.
"I can't wait for you to meet them" she clapped her hands together
"Yeah…can't wait" I said already beginning to worry that they wouldn't like me I also wondered what she mean by mostly all great.
In my first two classes of the day everyone had stared at me. One of the teachers had made me stand in front of the class which had been one of the single most embarrassing moments of my life as I blushed and stammered. When I was finally able to sit down I was able to calm down and listen to the rest of the lesson. One guy had talked to me he was cute with spiky blonde hair and he said his name was Mike Newton. He was a tad too friendly and started to make me feel a bit awkward; I wasn't really used to that kind of attention from boys. Thankfully Alice had saved me and told me how Mike was a big flirt and was quite arrogant.
Alice and I finally arrived at our English class and took our seats. The class was mostly boring just going over a reading list with books I had mostly already read. Alice and I passed notes throughout the lesson as she told me about some of the students in the class. She pointed out two girls one, with curly brown hair and the other with straight blonde hair both of them were dressed in extremely short skirts. She wrote "The brunette is Jessica and the blonde is Lauren and there the sluttiest, bitchiest girls in school" I giggled quietly to myself I believed it, first of all because of the skirts and secondly because they were throwing papers and erasers at a quiet looking girl in the front row who looked like she was about to cry.
"I see what you mean" I wrote back quickly
"See the pretty blonde over near the wall?" she wrote back. I looked over and saw the most beautiful girl I had seen that wasn't on the TV or in a magazine. She had long silky blonde hair and a statuesque body that wouldn't have been out of place in a bikini commercial.
"Yeah" I wrote, a small mean part of me hoping she was also a bitch.
"That's Rose my best friend" Alice replied making me feel instantly guilty that I had been thinking that Rose was a bitch.
The class ended and everyone gathered up their books and began filing out of the room.
"Come on Bella I want you to meet Rose" Alice said eagerly. I began to feel the ever familiar nervousness again. Alice pulled me over to Rose who was packing up her books and putting them into her bag.
"Rose there's someone I want you to meet" Alice pulled on my arm bringing me in front of her.
"This is Bella she's my new friend" Rose looked up at me her face blank and her eyes slowly looked me up and down. I blushed instantly frightened of what she thought of me.
Rose suddenly broke into a smile her face, which I didn't think was possible, becoming even more beautiful.
"Nice to meet you… Bella where are you from?"
"Phoenix" I whispered softly
She began asking me questions about Phoenix and my family all the way to lunch and just as with Alice I started to feel more and more comfortable with Rose and began to talk more and more freely.
School is like my hell.
All these fake people walking around lying to each other and bitching about each other it was a joke. I couldn't wait till I was out of this place forever. I paid attention in my classes never allowing my mind to wander…it could never wander I could never allow myself to lose control not when I was around people. The only place I lost control was in my dreams when there was no one around to hear me scream.
In history class when I was trying to pay attention to what the teacher was teaching us about World War I was suddenly passed a note. I looked around wondering where it had come from when I spotted Lauren Mallory staring at me. When I made eye contact with her she winked suggestively. It made me feel sick I looked down at the note wondering if I should just throw it away. I knew what it was going to say for some unfathomable reason girls at this school found me attractive I couldn't see why that could possibly be. When ever I looked in the mirror all I ever felt was disgust and sick to my stomach. I opened the note and looked at what it said.
In barely legible writing it said "Edward I think you are hot. Let's go out Friday night we'll do what ever you want and I mean WHATEVER you want". I felt even sicker. I scrunched up the note and looked at Lauren and shook my headshe looked disappointed. I don't know why its not the first time I had turned her down. I knew there were rumours flying around about why I didn't date anyone, some even saying I was gay but to be honest I didn't give a fuck.
I walked into the cafeteria thankful that I didn't have to sit by myself. Rose, Alice and I got our lunches and I followed them to a big table near the far wall.
"So Bella are you excited to meet our boyfriends?" Rose asked me as we sat down
"Yeah…" I said which even to me sounded unconvincing
They both laughed.
"Whoa don't get too excited there Bella" Alice said sarcastically still laughing
"No, its just I'm nervous I'm always like that when I first meet people" I replied quickly
"Oh don't worry. They'll love you and their very nice…but if there not I'll beat em up" Alice said dramatically waving her little fist in the air
Rose and I both cracked up laughing
"What are you too laughing at? I will! I'm stronger than I look!" She said to us indignantly
"Um Alice have you seen the size of Emmett? He won't even feel it" Rose replied still laughing
"I guess so…but it doesn't even matter because it won't come to that because Emmett and Jasper are going to love you!" Alice replied all excited again.
"If you say so" I replied doubtfully "Hey how come your other brother doesn't sit with you?" I asked curiously
It seemed as though Alice and Rose froze for a moment but I must have been imagining things because it was over as quick as it began.
"Oh um Edward has his own friends…you know he doesn't like sitting with his family and all that" Alice said suddenly serious
I noticed Rose looked a bit angry but I couldn't think of a possible reason for that unless she didn't like Edward for some reason.
"Oh ok" I wanted to ask more questions about Edward but I thought that may be a bit rude. So I dropped it. I looked around the cafeteria when I say two guys walking our way. One was massive, not as in fat but muscularly, with curly brown hair and the other was tall and lanky with blonde hair. They were both good looking and must have been Emmett and Jasper. They arrived at the table and took there seats, Alice squealed and hugged Jasper and started kissing him I looked away feeling a bit awkward only to meet Rose and Emmett doing the same thing. Not knowing where too look I just sat there for a moment waiting for them to …finish.
Finally coming up for air Alice turned to me.
"Opps sorry Bella…Jazz, Emmett I would like you to meet Bella my new friend" she said dramatically bouncing up and down in her seat unable to contain her excitement. She reminded me of a little kid at Christmas.
Both guys looked at me and smiled.
"Nice to meet you Bella" Emmett said shaking my hand and grinning at me. He didn't seem as scary as I first thought he would be.
"You too" I replied smiling shyly
Jasper also shook my hand and asked me questions about Phoenix he seemed quieter then Emmett but just as nice.
We all ate our lunches chatting the whole time. I had never felt this comfortable with new people before but I felt perfectly at home and knew I would be great friends with all of them. I was listening to Alice and Rose discussing a party that was coming up in the next few weeks when I saw him.
He walked into the cafeteria and joined the end of the small lunch line. He looked like an angel. The most beautiful person I had ever seen in my life. His hair was messy but it looked perfect, it was the most unusual bronze colour I had ever seen. He wasn't too muscular or too skinny and his eyes where the most beautiful deep green colour, but they looked sad. I frowned it was a crime the angel shouldn't be sad I had a strange urge to go and comfort him but luckily I controlled myself. I must have been staring rather intently because Alice nudged my hand and asked me what I was staring at. I looked around at our table Emmett, Jasper and Rose were in deep conversation and didn't seem to be listening to us. I leaned in and whispered to Alice.
"Who's that guy over there" I nodded towards the angel
"Who?" Alice asked looking over
"The one with the bronze hair"
She seemed to freeze again.
"Oh…um…that's my…my other brother Edward" she said nervously
"Why do you ask?" she asked staring at me intently
Why? Oh because he's the hottest, most gorgeous guy I have ever seen and I want to jump on him and do naughty things? As if I was going to say that to his sister. I also didn't understand the way she was acting weird it was as if she didn't want to tell me something about him.
"Oh, no reason… I…ah just thought he looked a bit familiar" I stammered
"Oh ok" She replied sounding relieved
He must be a jerk or a player or both maybe that's why she wouldn't talk about him. But it was hard for me to believe that. Oh well as if I would have a chance with someone who looked like that he probably had a beautiful girlfriend and would never look twice at me.
I peeked back over at him when I jumped he was staring straight at me, he had a confused look on his face as well as the ancient sadness which did not belong in his beautiful eyes. He stared at me for a moment longer and then turned around leaving his food and seemed to bolt from the room. I looked around no one seemed to have noticed. What had just happened?