Resolution – a Teen Titans fanfic
by Lady Comet
Disclaimer – None of these characters belong to me. DC owns them; I'm just borrowing them and bending them to my will for a bit.
Warnings – Beware of lesbianics, and odd pairings.
Dedication – This is dedicated to my wonderful girlfriend, who is the world to me, and as a huge BB/Jinx supporter, inspired this fic. Hopefully she won't mind having to wade through the Raven/Terra parts to get to that, though :)
Part 1 – What Hurt the Most
"What stings the most?" Terra asked as she stepped down each small rock to Raven's mud-covered, weakened form. "That I tricked you? That I nearly wiped out your team? That everyone liked me better than you?"
"Stop it!" the witch spat.
She smirked. "Or was it that deep down inside you really believed I was your friend?"
"NO, it was that I LOVED you!" Raven suddenly screamed, her voice filled with pain such as she had never heard before. "And you threw it in my face, like it was nothing! Terra, I love you, and I –"
Sweating, Terra sat bolt upright in bed, torn out of sleep. For a moment she stared into the emptiness that was her room, stunned, caught in a place between remembering and the desire to forget. Slowly her breathing returned to normal, and she shook her head to clear it. Their fight had not gone like that at all, so why was it different in her dream? What did Raven mean by that?
Her eyes opened wide as she came to her senses. "…Oh shit."
Terra had lied to Beast Boy that day he found her at school. She thought it was obvious and that he'd never believe her, but after he left, neither he nor any of the other Titans bothered her again. At first, she was happy. She could just be Tara Markov, a normal girl going to high school just like everyone else.
It didn't last. She couldn't hide her powers for long, and she knew someday her new family would find out and leave her just like everyone else had. So she left Jump City and headed east, somehow making her own way and surviving despite the odds. Years passed, and she decided to try and be a hero again, cutting her hair and getting a new costume with a mask to protect a different self she now had. For the first time in her life, she felt free.
Luckily, that freedom wasn't compromised when she decided to try and join the Titans again. They had heard of her activity as word carried across the country, and were shocked to realize that the girl Beast Boy found so long ago really was the girl they had lost. There was a long debate over whether or not they should invite her to come back, which she ended herself by showing up on their doorstep before they could decide. And despite everything that had happened between them, they welcomed her in with open arms.
So there she was now, three months later, sitting shocked in her bed and refusing to believe something her dreams had realized.
She thought about going back to sleep, but that seemed ridiculous. Her mind was racing. So she got out of bed and let her feet lead her down the hall, stopping her in front of Raven's room. For a moment she wondered whether or not Raven slept as much as other people, and if she was awake now. Would she mind being interrupted? But what would she say? Frowning, Terra tried the question in her head. Sorry to bother you Rae, but are you in love with me? She made a frustrated kicking motion towards the wall and hurried back to her own quarters.
Obviously, something was going on that required thought. A lot of thought. Even if Raven didn't love her and all of that was a figment of her fucked-up imagination, it had to have come from somewhere. Groaning, she lay back down on her bed and stared at the ceiling, letting her mind take her away.
The place it first wandered was her own status in love as far as the group went. Her relationship with Beast Boy had always seemed like a lie. It really was, as she now realized, since she had been working for Slade then, but even so it had always felt like she was faking it. She was so young, so lost and alone when they first found her. She knew she would have done anything to win acceptance, and that more than anything was what motivated her to seek Beast Boy's affections. Since she had come back, nothing else had happened. They were both so…awkward about it. Logically, if they had been really interested in each other, wouldn't they have gotten together after all wounds were healed? It looked like they were, they had been acting just as close as they had before she betrayed them, but their relationship hadn't gotten any farther than that. She had actually returned to the way things were with all her other teammates. Except Raven. Before everything, they had gotten pretty close, on a different level than she had gotten with Beast Boy. But she had always maintained a certain distance, a wall kept to separate her from the dark sorceress. She had assumed this was in interest of keeping her secret safe. Since she had come back it had been a total 180; Raven was the one keeping walls up while she had been trying to get close to her again.
Should that have been a sign? And were the initial walls she herself put in place protecting something else?
"Ugh," she spat out, grabbing one of her pillows and crumpling it over her face. "Why do I feel like this is something I should have figured out already?"
She forced her mind back to Raven and the evidence of Raven's feelings toward her, before all this happened. Raven had never appeared attached to any of the Titans, or anyone else, that way. Romance just didn't seem to click with her. Regardless, she was the quickest to distrust her when she first appeared and when she returned, and the quickest to hate her when she betrayed them. That hatred was so…passionate, actually, more than any Terra had ever seen. That was what that fight was about. Love was not something they discussed in their violent banter. But like she remembered, she had kept that wall up between them, so there was a lot that may have gone unsaid. There was no way to be sure.
She rolled over, feeling more defeated than she thought possible. "Shit."
Morning approached and breakfast came, wherein most of the Titans had wandered into the kitchen at the same time and decided to eat together. After the usual argument between Beast Boy and Cyborg about the merits of meat and tofu, Starfire suggested they make pancakes with mustard. Ignoring the mustard bit, they could all agree on pancakes. Raven wasn't there to pass on breakfast, as she usually would; something Terra was glad for even though she missed her company. After a whole night of thinking about her dream, she still had no idea what to do.
However, it wasn't long before she did appear, looking only slightly groggy and heading straight for the teapot. Though all the Titans had changed in appearance over the years, Raven had changed the most. The guise she wore now was not unfamiliar, but it was one that never stuck before. After her father returned again to exact revenge on the daughter who had defeated him, and they were able to obliterate him completely, Raven grew out her hair and her costume became white. It was longer now, too; a white skirt with slits up the side replaced the bareness of her legs, and her boots were taller. Her personality wasn't much different, though she seemed a bit more free.
"Morning," she said, preparing her tea without looking at any of them. They all responded to her in kind and continued talking, no one noticing that Terra looked slightly uneasy and kept staring at her out of the corner of her eye.
What should I do? she thought. I don't think I can act like nothing happened.
She turned her head to find Beast Boy staring at her, confused. She blushed, thinking that he had noticed somehow. "What?"
"You didn't think it was funny?"
"Um…I'm sorry, I guess I zoned out…"
"Oh," he replied dejectedly, quick to replace his obvious disappointment with a sly grin. "Well, your loss."
"I seriously doubt it," Raven said as she joined them at the table, mug in hand. He glared at her.
Starfire stood up, smiling broadly, and clapped her hands together. "My friends, I suggest we spend this joyous day together! It has been long since we 'hung out,' and I think it would do us some good. Shall we venture to the mall of shopping, or visit the park, perhaps?"
"Hmm, you do have a point," Robin mused.
"I vote for the park," said Cyborg. "No offense Star, but I don't want to get harassed by mall security because you were trying to talk to the Victoria's Secret models again."
She scowled at him. "I have learned my lesson, friend Cyborg."
"I think the park sounds good too," Beast Boy chimed in. "Best place to play stankball!"
"Well, if we're going to go out, why don't we make a day of it and have a picnic too?" Terra suggested, trying very hard not to look at Raven.
Starfire agreed. "A glorious idea!"
"We'd better get ready, then," Robin said. "Remember, we have company tonight and we don't want to get back too late."
Raven nodded, "Right, Jinx is visiting. I forgot."
"Why is that happening again?" asked Cyborg. He looked a bit uncomfortable, painfully aware of the tension still between him and his sort-of ex-girlfriend.
"Since she and Kid Flash split up she's been kind of lost as to what to do, and needs a place to stay for a while," Robin explained.
Beast Boy quirked an eyebrow. "But that was, like, two months ago. What's she been doing since then?"
"I don't know. But I'm sure she'll only be here for a couple of days."
"Let us get going then," Starfire exclaimed, flying out of her seat and back into the kitchen to assemble food for lunch. "We do not want to disappoint her."
"Uh, I'll help you," said Cyborg, moving quickly to join her. Like the rest of them, he didn't want their lunch to be something that moved.
"Dude, don't forget to throw in the tofu dogs!" Beast Boy called, also excusing himself from the table. This, of course, sparked another argument about tofu and meat.
Shaking his head at his teammates, Robin started taking all the dirty dishes to the sink. Raven got up to help him, and Terra knew she should help, but instead slunk away to look for a picnic basket. She knew she was being childish, but for now, it was easier than pretending she wasn't confused.
It took no more than two hours for the whole team to assemble what they needed and get themselves ready for the day out. The whole time, Terra did her best to avoid Raven, trying desperately not to make it obvious. A few times she caught the sorceress looking at her oddly, and panicked, thinking she had somehow given her worry away. But Raven said nothing about it, so she let herself assume everything was fine and kept taking the day one moment at a time.
As such, the afternoon moved slowly for her, although everyone else seemed to be having fun. Even Robin was lightening up. The trip to Tokyo all those years ago had done him more good than any of them realized. Sitting on top of their abandoned picnic table, Terra watched as he chased Starfire around the field in front of them, obliging her in a game of tag.
She caught herself, feeling her face flush. What was that? The dream and more random images of her purple-haired friend flashed through her mind. Inside there she felt herself back up against a wall, and shifted her weight on the table, drawing her legs under her. Where did that come from? What was the end of that sentence? Lost in thought, she found herself looking for Raven, but she wasn't anywhere in the area.
Hearing Beast Boy's voice, she turned her head quickly to see him sit down next to her, a smile masking concern.
"Hi BB. What's up?"
"Are you okay?"
She did her best to look puzzled at this. "Yeah, of course. Why? I don't look sick, do I?"
He frowned. "Don't play dumb, Ter. You've been acting….weird, all day."
She faked laughter. "Come on, BB."
The only answer she got was a stare more serious than she had ever seen on her best friend's face.
Sighing, Terra swung her legs back out in front of her and pretended to stare at her toes as she tried to figure out what she could say. "….Okay, I just had a …bad dream last night, and I guess it threw me off. Happy now?"
"Ohhhhh." He smirked. "Well, you know, if you get scared during the night you're always welcome to –"
Even though she refused to meet his eyes then, she knew he wore a surprised expression on his face. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, and leaned forward to brush a strand of hair out of her eyes.
"Terra…I didn't mean to…"
"I know," she replied, turning to finally look at him. "I just…I don't think I can do this anymore, BB."
"What are you talking about?"
"This. Us. What are we, anyway?" She shifted again, away from him, letting out a long sigh. "I don't think I want to be with you, Beast Boy. Not like we wanted to when we were kids. Too much has changed."
He remained silent for a while, then slowly nodded his head. "I kinda wondered why nothing had happened yet. Between us, I mean."
"Its not like you made any moves either."
"I know. I just didn't know what you wanted."
They sat there for a long time. It was the first time they had spent more than a minute together without saying anything, and the tension in the air was painful. Terra tried not to look too interested when she noticed a gay male couple walk by, hand in hand, chatting and suddenly pointing as they recognized their local heroes. Eventually Beast Boy stood up, moving to stand in front of her, and put his hands on her shoulders.
"We'll be okay," he said simply, and took off without another word. As she watched him go, she tried very hard to not think he was crying.
No sooner was he out of sight than Raven came back into view, a thick book tucked under one arm. She smiled at her blonde teammate, her eyes lingering a bit longer in a gaze of concern and maybe suspicion, then walked over to Robin, who had his arms firmly wrapped around the now caught Tamaranian Princess. They spoke, but Terra was too busy watching Raven's movements to hear what they were saying. Soon the three of them were walking towards her, and she sat up, again feigning innocence.
"It's already almost four o'clock," their leader said. "We'd better head back. Have you seen Cyborg or Beast Boy?"
"Beast Boy just went that way." She pointed in the direction he'd gone, trying to act very calm about it. "Haven't seen Cyborg though."
"I will find them," Starfire volunteered. She kissed Robin on the cheek, then lifted into the air to search.
Silence reigned again as they waited. Robin began to pack up the things they had left out from their picnic, and Raven helped, looking at Terra as if expecting her to as well. She did, continuing to avoid looking at her. She didn't notice, but Robin looked at Raven with a question on his face, his eyes darting quickly to their blonde friend to signify what he meant. Raven quickly looked at her, then away again, and shrugged at him.
Moments later, Starfire returned, her red hair streaming out behind her as a small green bird followed her flight. She held Cyborg under the arms and set him down carefully on the ground next to Raven, then glided over to wrap her arms around Robin again. "I found them!" she cried triumphantly as the bird transformed into his usual visage. Beast Boy smiled awkwardly at Terra, who had looked up as they approached, then turned to Raven.
"So, home time?" he said.
"Let's go," she answered, and they all headed back towards their Tower.
A few hours later, as the team was arguing over what kind of pizza to order for dinner, there was a loud knocking on the door. Terra got up to answer it, since everyone else was trying to convince Starfire that ice cream on pizza with sardines and pickles is never a good idea. She took the elevator down to the ground level, and hurried to answer the continued pounding.
"Yeah?" she said as she pulled the door open, though she knew who was going to be there.
Jinx had also changed a lot over the past few years. The top half of her pink hair was done up in two pointed buns on each side of her head, while the rest flowed loose beneath it, reaching her shoulder blades. She still didn't wear a mask, and her costume was still purple and black, though the style was much different and accentuated her now womanly curves. She had one ragged backpack slung over her left shoulder, and she adjusted it as her black painted lips parted to smile wickedly at the woman in front of her.
She opened the door wider and stepped aside to let her in. "Right. And you must be Jinx."
"The one and only," she grinned.
Terra shut the door behind her as they both started walking toward the elevator. "I think we only met once, way back when I was on the team for the first time."
"You mean before you betrayed everyone?"
She frowned. "Yes. But if I remember from what Beast Boy told me when I came back, you betrayed your team to run off with Kid Flash."
She shrugged. "More or less."
"And how'd that work out for you?"
Jinx frowned, then smirked. "…I think you and I are going to get along just fine."
Terra smiled back, perplexed, and stepped into the elevator.
The ride back up to the top was short, and silent. When they got there, Jinx stepped out first, looking around the large room. "Not much has changed here."
"Well, we've changed," said a familiar voice nearby, and Raven melded into place out of the shadows. She smiled slightly at her former enemy. "…Welcome back."
Jinx looked her over, grinning. "I see you've lost the blue. Nice move."
As Raven frowned in response, the rest of the team stepped up to greet her. Starfire, as usual, barreled right into her in attempt to give her a 'friendly' hug. Struggling for breath, she turned her head as much as she could and looked at Beast Boy.
"Does she always do this?" she choked out.
Surprisingly, he blushed, and nodded. "Um, yeah."
She felt someone staring at her, and looked up to meet Cyborg's gaze. He stood a little apart from the others, arms crossed over his chest and a blank expression on his face. She quirked an eyebrow at him, and he sighed.
"Hey," he mumbled.
"Hey yourself," she responded, letting out a deep breath as Starfire finally let go of her.
"It is wonderful to see you, friend Jinx," the alien smiled.
Robin put a hand on his girlfriend's shoulder. "How long will you be staying?"
"Just a few days," she answered, adjusting the weight of the bag on her shoulder. "I just need a place to crash. That still okay?"
"Of course," he said. "You can stay as long as you need to." He ignored the questioning looks both Cyborg and Raven shot his way.
Raven then looked over at Beast Boy, who was obviously trying not to stare at their guest. She elbowed him, and he grunted, glaring at her as if to ask what the hell she did that for. She rolled her eyes. Watching this, Terra had to stifle laughter. Usually she was on the other end of Beast Boy's awkwardness, and it was amusing to watch it from the sidelines.
"Anyway," Raven said, drawing their attention back to the pink-haired woman they surrounded. "Jinx, I'll show you to the guest room, if you like."
"Sure," she said. She turned to follow the sorceress as she headed into the hallway, but looked back over her shoulder at Beast Boy, noticing that he was still staring. She winked at him, then continued on her way.
"Dude," the short green man said once he was sure she was out of earshot. "Has Jinx always been that hot?"
"Yeah," Cyborg replied, sadly. "You were just too distracted to notice." He looked at Terra, and somehow she knew that he had figured out what had happened in the park. She forced a smile, then retreated to the kitchen, getting herself a glass of water just to get away.
Well, it's over between him and Jinx. It has been for a long time. And since he knows I'm out of the picture, why should he be surprised that BB's attracted to someone else? she pondered. After all, she is pretty hot, just not as hot as… Startled at herself, she almost dropped her glass as she turned away from the sink. …I just acknowledged the hotness of two women. Women. Not guys. Since when am I…but, when have I ever thought about anything like that?
Seeing that Beast Boy and Cyborg had started another video game war, and Starfire was trying to get Robin to spar with her, she headed off alone to the roof.
I need to do some thinking. Fast.
Note – there will be two more parts after this, I think. Thanks for reading, and I hope you like!