Can you see me?
Of course you can. From one angle. And you're okay with that, I assume. This angle works for you, doesn't it? Because as far as you're concerned, this is my good side.
I stand before you as real as anybody else in this world. But am I real to you? Tell me, when you look at me, what is it that you see? Maybe you can tell me how tall I am, or the colour of my eyes, and maybe you even know where I bought my pants. But do you know me? Do you even know my name?
That's okay. I didn't expect you to say yes.
Because when it comes down to it, you don't care what my name is. It doesn't matter which twin I am. You don't even want to know. If I turned my back to you, you wouldn't be able to tell that I wasn't Hikaru. Maybe you can't even tell as I look you in the eyes. But if you saw my brother standing by himself, you would know who he was, wouldn't you?
It wasn't always like this. There was a time when we were not Hikaru and Kaoru. We were the twins, and that was enough for us. But it isn't anymore. For him. But it was easier for me back then. Because at least at that time it was fair. They didn't know that he was Hikaru, and they didn't know that I was Kaoru. We were never apart. Nobody distinguished between us. We didn't get to be our own people, but we were both in the foreground. It isn't like that anymore. Somewhere along the way, he took a step forwards and I took one back.
Now, we are either the two of us, or the one of him.
You don't believe me? Of course, you can see me perfectly now. I'm standing in front of you, speaking to you. You see me. You know me. But you and I both know that you would lose track of me if you saw Hikaru out of the corner of your eye.
I am here, but I am not. I exist only at your will. Because you want to see the love. You're paying to see an epic romance between two men. You swoon at the act that my brother and I perform for you, but you forget about it when Act II begins. But by the time the intermission is over, I have already disappeared. Because Act II is not brotherly love. Act II is the Hikaru-Haruhi era.
It would appear that I'm not in this scene.
Where did I go?
Do I fade from view when he steps onto the stage? If Hikaru were to walk in right now and start talking, would I disappear?
I would not. But you would stop looking for me.
But that's okay, because I've stopped looking for you, too.
Ah, yes. You're right. You are standing directly in front of me.
I can see you. From one angle. But unlike you, I'm not okay with that. This angle doesn't work for me. But I've given up on trying to find one that does. Because I'm not going to put time and effort into figuring out how to see somebody properly, when they don't even care if they see me.