You'll Never Run Out Of Chances
Summary: Blair tries to seal the deal with Marcus; Chuck sorts out his feelings.
Author's Note: Just a one-shot of something I thought could happen after 2.03 ("The Dark Night"), even though it most definitely won't because these writers don't like to resolve poor CB. I don't own Gossip Girl, and I have a love-hate relationship with Josh Schwartz that he doesn't even know about.
BLAIR moaned as his hands traced the outline of her body in a painfully slow and awkward fashion, her sounds far outmatching what his caresses should have elicited. She closed her eyes tightly and tried her best to envision that he was someone else—someone whose hot, fast kisses burned her up inside. Someone who could make her eyes roll into the back of her head just by uttering a single phrase.
As hard as she tried, however, it just wasn't the same. The hands were too delicate, the voice not low enough, the chest too bare. She couldn't make him be the one she wanted, because there would never be another quite like Chuck Bass. The charade had gone on for far too long.
Pulling away slightly, she turned her head and looked down at the ground. "Marcus…" she whispered pleadingly as she put her hand out to stop him from going any further.
He lifted her chin up and gazed at her with more kindness than disappointment in his eyes. "I guess I was right all along," he murmured in that quaint accent of his, nodding sadly.
"I'm sorry," she said sincerely. And she really was sorry. She wished she could love someone like Marcus—someone who was safe and kind, steady and loyal. But, as usual, her life was meant to be a tragedy. Of course she had to fall for the one guy who would never fully love her back.
"I understand," he replied, almost shrugging. "We can't help who we care for."
God, he even talked like a romantic comedy cliché. What was wrong with her?
Adjusting the sleeves of her dress, Blair got up off the bed and made her way to the door. Before closing it, she turned and said her final piece. "I know one day you'll find a girl who will want you for exactly who you are. I, on the other hand, have to start accepting the person I want."
THE next evening, Chuck sat on the couch in the living room, sipping his scotch and cursing the world, when he was suddenly startled by a very familiar presence.
"My condolences about you and The Lord," he greeted her blankly, deftly hiding his phone so she wouldn't see that he still had it open to the GG blast announcing their breakup 10 hours after it had been sent out.
"Yeah, I'm sure you're real torn up about that," she replied snarkily, hoping they could merely go back to their usual bantering. Maybe something wonderful would come out of that—it had always been their way before.
He finally willed himself to face her. "What brings you here, Waldorf?" He asked, setting down his drink and motioning for her to sit next to him. He bit his tongue to avoid saying something cruel about Marcus not wanting her anymore. He was done trying to win her over through spite. Maybe done, period. How ironic that he was giving up just as he was realizing how deeply into her he was.
She took a deep breath, summoning all of her willpower to give in without losing any of her pride. "I came to tell you that you were right. We are the same, and it's about time I stopped fighting it." She reached out to stroke his cheek, and was brutally shocked to find him recoiling from her touch.
Chuck felt like a huge jerk for backing away like that, especially since he was spurning the one thing he wanted more than anything in the world. But he was not going to settle for being second best—not anymore. He was not something that had to be 'accepted.' He wanted Blair to actively want him, which was never going to happen.
"Aren't you tired of playing these games, Blair?" He whispered throatily, hating himself for making her eyes widen like that.
"Is that what you think, Bass?" She replied coldly. "That this is some sort of game?"
He sighed. "I think it is a game to you, Blair. And, somehow, you always end up winning. No matter how much I supposedly hurt you, you always find a way to 'rally,' to come out on top, looking pristine. And I'm the one left broken. Every single time."
Her mouth dropped open and her back went rigid; she was speechless. She felt his hand wrap around her own, but was too flabbergasted to even think of pulling away. Besides, his skin felt warm and his touch made her feel alive, even when his words were slowly killing her.
"You wanted me to tell you I love you," he continued, holding her hand tighter, trying to pull himself together enough to be completely honest with both of them. "And I do." He sucked in as much air as he could, releasing it slowly before saying, "I love you, Blair—"
Blair let out a small gasp and grabbed his face without thinking, cutting him off in order to give him a passionate kiss.
He was powerless to resist for a full minute. After all, there was no way his body would allow him to deny what he was so desperately craving.
She pulled away first to look into his eyes, pressing her forehead against his. "Chuck…" she began in a breathless tone. "I'm so…"
He put a finger to her lips, and she was suddenly thrown back down to earth. This wasn't going to be the blissful reunion she was hoping for.
"I love you," he repeated, and her heart soared once more against her will. "But I don't think you're ever going to love me, so I'm going to let you walk away right now."
Blair felt a sharp stinging in her eyes and blinked twice rapidly to stave off the tears. She wanted to rail against his false claims and proclaim her own feelings, but her throat closed up and refused to allow passage to her voice. Never going to love him? Of course she loved him. So, then, why couldn't she just tell him that?
"How can you say that?" She finally managed to whisper.
"I don't want you to have to settle for loving me, Blair. You deserve someone you actually want to be with, that you're willing to fight for. With me, you're always running away. I'm tired of chasing you down and, frankly, I deserve someone who wants me." He let go of her hand. Who was he kidding? He didn't deserve anyone, least of all Blair. And he wouldn't want anyone else even if he did 'deserve' them.
He tried to smile and added, "Besides, I'm terrible at stalking you. We both know I'm not nearly subtle enough."
Blair nodded agitatedly, barely able to see through the tears that were brimming and clouding her vision. She wouldn't let them spill over, though. Blair Waldorf was never hurt by anyone—she was untouchable.
"This is true," she agreed, trying to inject as much humor into her voice as possible. "Besides, I was coming to tell you that it would never work between us, anyway. As much as we might like it to." Never mind the fact that she had been kissing him like there was no tomorrow just minutes earlier. "It was nice while it lasted, right?"
She stood up abruptly and walked out, heading straight to Serena's room. Chuck watched her leave, wondering if those had been tears in her eyes or if the light had merely been making her glisten. He wondered if she would cry once she was alone in the company of her best friend, but he quickly shook off the thought.
Even if she did cry, he would never even see her drop a single tear. Not over him, anyway. Never over him. No one cried for Chuck Bass.
BLAIR slammed the door and threw herself into Serena's arms as the tears came spilling out all over her cheeks and onto her best friend's nightgown.
"B, honey, what's wrong?" Serena cried anxiously, stroking her hair and leading her towards the bed so they could sit more comfortably.
"He told me he loved me," Blair sniffled into Serena's shoulder, clutching onto her for dear life.
This simple question made Blair cry even harder, because obviously Serena wouldn't know she meant Chuck. No one would know because she had spent so much time lying to herself that she had somehow managed to convince everyone else.
"Chuck," she explained once she had regained her breath.
Serena gasped audibly. "Oh, my God. B, that's...amazing."
"No, it's not," Blair shook her head and straightened up to look Serena in the eye. "He broke up with me anyway, because he thinks I don't love him." Saying it made the tears start falling once more, so she buried herself back in Serena's warm body for support.
Serena chose to ignore the fact that it wasn't possible for Chuck to break up with someone he wasn't dating. "But do you?" She asked, kissing the top of Blair's head.
"I do," Blair admitted out loud for the first time. "I do love him, Serena. I love him so much—"
Another sob broke off her declarations, and she remained silent.
Serena rocked her gently and wondered why her best friend and her step-brother were doomed to suffer so much teen soap opera tragedy.
CHUCK stood outside Serena's door, listening to Blair crying and feeling his heart break into many, many pieces. Microscopic pieces, considering it was already so small to begin with.
As sick as it was, though, he couldn't help but smile when he heard Blair say she loved him. Maybe everything wasn't so lost, after all. He'd let her sleep on it and talk to her tomorrow.
After all, tomorrow is another day.