It was a horrible decision and they had to suffer from it. Struggling internally in this world without anyone by his side wasn't really that bad, was it? The only thing he wished for was for someone to kill his memories. AkuRoku. AU. YAOI. M for safety.

The song for this fic is really "What Hurts the Most" by Rascal Flatts. Go hear it out. The song is amazing!! I love the feeling it gave me, warm but sad. And yeah, basically I'm applying those feelings here. Enjoy.


I made a mistake…a huge mistake and I lost him to somebody else.

It was a rainy day. Thunderstorms could be heard ringing across the town and lightning flashes could be seen coloring the darkened sky. The town was wrapped in silence and darkness. No one had the desire to go outdoor in that condition. Everyone would prefer resting in their own cozy home, sleeping through the cold day. It was Sunday after all and getting wet was not really an option to enjoy the day. It was different for the inhabitant of one particular house. Both wanted to get out of the heavy air quickly, no matter how hard the rain was outside. The intense air wrapped around the two male, one was a blond small teen and one was a redheaded man. Both were staring at each other and their gazes never faltered for even one millisecond.

The blond stood right in the middle of the living room lit by the burning fire of the woods in the fireplace, surrounded by sofas all around him. In front of him was a redhead who also stood there with his hands shoved into his sweatshirt pockets. "Have you made up your mind?" the blond suddenly snapped, breaking the silence in the entire house. There was no answer. The redhead merely looked away, disconnecting their eye contact. It was soon that the sound of the dripping water from outside began to echo in their ears again. "Axel," the blond called out slowly, his gaze softened, hoping for some comfort from the redhead.

To the blond's disappointment, he didn't obtain any of the comfort he needed. The redhead seemed to be thinking as his emerald eyes were glued to the big window revealing the sight outside of the house. "I—" the redhead started, he turned his head and returned his eyes to the cerulean eyes of the blond again. He opened his mouth to say something but none came out as if something was stuck in his throat, as if someone was suffocating him, strangling him, and he could feel his heart stopped and his soul leaving his body. "I never love you from the beginning, Roxas," he continued, casting a sad gaze to the blond accompanied with a sadistic smirk on his face. The two looked so messed up. They knew and could easily read what was going on in each other's mind but—all they need was just for one of them to say it out loud, not by attempting a groundless mind-reading.

"That's…" the blond hesitated, clearing his throat slowly and struggling to breath. It was ridiculous but at that moment, he thought the earth's oxygen had vanished. "That's your answer?"

The redhead was reluctant however, after one minute of silence, he nodded his head slowly, pursing his lips, biting them so hard that it could bleed at any moment.

"Axel…" Roxas stepped over and took his blue cloak that was lying on the sofa. He forced a smile on his face, bowing his head deeply, and said, "Thank you for everything. Farew—see you again…" the blond managed to hold his tears from streaming out. After that, he ran out of the house, slammed the front door, and disappeared into the rain—and all Axel could do was just keeping his eyes off of the blond.

I let him go…


Several years had passed after that. Axel was living his life the best he could. The first week of Roxas' disappearance was unbearable. He had no idea how he could live without the blond. He was all alone in the house, waking up without the blond by his side on the bed, going down to the kitchen and found himself missing the blond's sunshine smile that always greeted him and asked him about what he would have for breakfast, sitting in front of the TV and noticed that a small body that always cuddled up to him on the sofa was no longer there, stepping out to work only to find that there were no longer goodbye kisses and a cheerful voice telling him to have a fun time at work, phoning home and nobody answered, getting back to home and nothing was prepared for him… there was something missing in his life. No matter how many centuries had passed, without Roxas there, Axel could feel the permanent hole that had been attached to his empty heart. The wounds would never heal and he could not stop blaming himself for the decision he had made. If only he took the other decision that was presented to him, he wouldn't be so miserable now.

He would never attempt suicide. He was too stubborn to do that. Roxas had said "see you again" not goodbye or farewell and he believed that they will meet again. Maybe when they were both had grown old—anytime…he wanted to meet the blond and hear his voice again—greeting him cheerfully and calling out his name sweetly. Axel had tried his best to become straight after he broke up with Roxas but after countless attempts, he could never imagine himself becoming straight—to be specific, he could never imagine himself being with anyone else but Roxas.

"Hi, Axel? You're Axel, right?" a voice called out to him when he was at a café, eating his lunch. The redhead turned and spotted a hint of blond and blue and he almost leaped from his seat, thinking that it was Roxas. He didn't because when he looked clearly and snapped himself back to the harsh reality, all he saw was a Mohawk blond who looked nothing like Roxas. It was Demyx, his best friend since years ago. He could never forget Demyx—the hyper Demyx. After all, the Mohawk blond was the one who introduced him to Roxas.

"Dem, how's things?" Axel asked, standing up, towering over Demyx, giving a weak grin.

"Everything's been great. Is it me or have you grown much taller?" the blond grinned excitedly.

"I'm the same as always," the redhead shrugged.

"Oh, hey, are you having your lunch? Can I join you?" Demyx smiled, hoping for a yes.

"Sure." Axel answered easily and waited until the blond had sat down and he followed soon after.

"You look so much thinner. How long has it been since we last met?"

"I lost count." Axel chuckled, less excited, taking a bite of his bread.

Demyx waved for the waitress and placed his order then went back to strike a conversation with his long lost friend again. "You seemed—different."

Axel chuckled again. "What's so different?" this time, he forced a natural grin by which he had practiced carefully in front of the mirror ever since Roxas was missing in his life and he never failed that grin. Everyone was always fooled by it. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to be in a hyper mood in order to avoid questions. "So, how is life for you? You and Zexion must be living happily now, right?"

Demyx visibly blushed. "Well, yeah. It had been wonderful. Zexion's very nice and he supported me no matter what."

"That's great to hear. How come you're back here? I thought you've been singing in Canada?"

"I was about to go to look for you!" he squealed excitedly. "I never thought I'd meet you here of all places!"

"You came here to look for me?"

"Well, yeah. I thought Zexion needed some vacation. After all, even though he said no, I'm sure it was really boring for him to be always waiting for me back home when I was out singing and doing records. I have a tight schedule ever since I got selected in that talent hunt, you know… but Zexion was always there for me. So yeah, he was really excited when I proposed that we have a vacation here. He'd love to meet Roxas, I'm sure."

"Roxas…" Axel narrowed his eyes and hissed out that forbidden word from his mouth, the name that he was trying so hard to forget and now it was brought up from his memories again.

"Yeah! You two must have been happy together too right?" Demyx smiled devilishly, teasing the redhead.

Axel felt himself froze right then and there. His could feel his whole body stopped functioning and his head was spinning around endlessly of the memories that had been plaguing him—of the guilt, of the happiness, of the sadness, of the joy—of everything. Demyx noticed the redhead's change in expression and he was about to ask if he was alright but the redhead soon interrupted. "Yeah, we're great," he smiled.

"That's great! I can't wait to meet Roxas again too. Roxas is so much fun to tease."

"Yeah," Axel's face straightened.

"Huh? This is unusual…"


"Every time I mention about wanting to tease and make fun of Roxas, you would always jump into his defense and started scolding me and now—"

"You're thinking too much, Dem."

Demyx was about to reply but his cell phone suddenly rang. He received it and talked for a couple of minutes. "Yeah, I'll be there," he said, ending the phone call. "Hey, you guys didn't move anywhere, right?"

Axel released a huge sigh. "No."

"Great! I and Zexion will be coming to your house tonight, okay? Let's have a little reunion, tell Roxas about it. Wait, or better yet, don't. I'm sure he'd be really happy and you love to give him surprises just to see that expression on his face, right?" he grinned. Axel nodded uncertainly. And Demyx took out a couple of bucks and set it on the table. "I'm treating for this time. Zexion's waiting for me. I gotta go. You can bring the food I've ordered to Roxas. It's his favorite—strawberry shortcake. See you tonight, Axel," the blond disappeared soon after.

Axel had no intention of chasing after his friend. I lied. Indeed, he had sold the house and rented a room for himself just to get rid of those memories in his mind. That house was full of his memories with Roxas and there was no way he could last a single minute without Roxas being there in that house.


Several days passed since his encounter with Demyx. He's quite sure that the blond must be worried about his existence by now and he never cared because there was no way that the blond could contact him. He had changed his phone number and his working place. He never wanted to go back to his past no matter how contradictory that sounded with his heart's voice.


"Good morning, Riku," Roxas smiled sweetly, greeting his silver head lover and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Morning, Rox," the silver head returned the greeting eagerly, sneaking an arm around the blond's waist, not letting him go, and quickly claiming the thin lips of Roxas'. Roxas yelped a bit but he quickly submitted in order to please his lover. The kiss lasted several minutes and they were both panting.

"What would you like for breakfast?" Roxas asked cheerily, smiling.

"I'll just have your usual scrambled eggs," Riku replied, also smiling, letting go of his blond.

"Alright. Tell me if you need anything else, okay?"

"Oh, I do need something else," Riku smirked devilishly.


"Let's take a bath together."

Roxas blushed deeply. "Take a bath by yourself, Riku," he pouted cutely and disappeared into the kitchen before Riku could persuade him any further.

Roxas released a huge sigh before making scrambled eggs for Riku. He swallowed a bit, feeling the nausea in his stomach again. No, it was no one's fault. It was his. Riku was kind to him but there was someone else in his heart. He couldn't forget—no matter how hard he had tried. The memories wouldn't go away. There were too many things to forget—too many sweet memories. He wanted to forget but on the other side of himself, he wanted to remember and never forget. Everything was crushing down on him and Riku knew. Riku knew that there was something wrong with his blond but he couldn't do anything to help since he was the one who had led Roxas into this. He never felt a single guilt for it. It was their decision and they had made one that hurt themselves. The only thing he wanted was for the blond to be "really" happy again. Not putting on the façade that he saw everyday… however, he couldn't risk losing Roxas.


"Good morning!! C'mon, wake up." Roxas smiled cheerfully, shaking his redhead. "It's nice and shiny today."

Axel shifted on the bed below the comforter. "Just—five more minutes," he grunted, holding his hands up and showing the number five by spreading out his fingers and he hid his face inside the fluffy pillow.

"You said that five minutes ago," the blond pouted. "Wake up already," he shook Axel's body that was lying limp on the bed violently.

"Roxas—five more…"

"No! Wake up!" the blond shouted and he jumped on the bed, crawling onto Axel and sitting on top of the redheaded man's waist. "C'mon," he pouted again, grabbing Axel's clothes.

"I'm tired…why aren't you tired?" he asked weakly, shifting a bit so that he was lying on his back and with his half lidded eyes, he eyed his blond.

Roxas tilted his head to the side, smiling playfully, "Why should I be tired?"

"You can't say that last night wasn't tiring," the redhead groaned.

"Well—" Roxas trailed off. "It was exciting but nothing to tire me," he grinned.

"Sometimes I wonder why you're so hyper in the morning."

"You want to know?" Roxas asked in a singsong, lying down on the body of the redhead that he had now claimed as his bed. He hid his face into Axel's neck and breathed evenly there, inhaling the sweet scent that he could never get enough of.

"Well, tell me," Axel replied, more enthusiasm in his voice now. He put an arm around Roxas and held him tightly while planting a kiss on Roxas' forehead.

"Because every morning I wake up, you're there beside me," the blond said softly, feeling a slight blush on his cheek.

Axel was grinning widely, obviously happy and awake to hear Roxas' words. "Just that? I'm enough to make you hyper?"

"Yup, of course!" the blond answered cheerily, relieved that the redhead wasn't making fun of him. "And I know you'll be always there, right?"

Axel nodded instantly without a single doubt present in him. "I'll be always here with you. Well...except when I have to go to work. I wish I didn't have to work sometimes," he chuckled.

"Yeah..." there was a comfortable silence between the two and the blond spoke up again, whispering softly to Axel's ear. "You know what..I think I should find a job too. It's not fair that you work alone to feed both of us, right?"

"I can earn enough."

"I'm not saying that it's not enough, Axel. It's just that... I think I should work too and contribute to this house."

Axel clearly did not have the same thought as Roxas. "You just need to be here with me. There's no need to find a job."

"Axel..." the blond groaned and sighed. "I..."

"We've had this conversation before, Roxas. And the answer is still no. I don't want you to find a job."

"You are clearly restricting me," the blond pouted, shifted away from the redhead and jumped out of the bed.

"Roxas, the last time you went to work, I have to save you from that molester boss of yours," the redhead growled, also jumping out of the bed and stepping closer to his blond, hugging him from behind.

"That was last time. I won't always meet a molester boss," Roxas reasoned, turning around and circling his arms around the redhead's waist.

"Molester is still good. What if you meet a raper?"

"Ax, you're thinking too much."

"Still a no, Roxas. It's safer for you to stay home," Axel said sternly, earning a cute pout from the blond. He laughed richly. "If you want to blame someone, blame it on your cute face," he smiled softly, placing the tip of his index finger at the tip of Roxas' nose. "You're even cute when you're angry."

"Axel!" the blond narrowed his eyes and glared.

"I love you, Roxas," the redhead laughed, claiming the blond's lips. Roxas was struggling out of the kiss for a while but he soon submitted and returned the kiss with eagerness and love.

The quarrel of Roxas wanting to find a job didn't just last there. One day, Axel was finally convinced and decided to let Roxas find a job even though he was worried as hell and he promised himself that he would protect Roxas no matter what. However, he soon found out that he had broke that promise that he made to himself...when Riku came out of the picture. Everything was changed...and everything was broken into pieces.


Should haves and what ifs had became the most common words in every days life. After all, who had never regretted a single mistake one had done? Surely everyone had regretted the decision they had made once and some of those regrets were irreversible, only leaving people with guilt. Both Axel and Roxas were provided with decisions and the heaviest one they had made was that...the one that had caused them so much pain of losing one another. All they wanted was to be able to turn back time and returned to that time...the time when they were together and happy. Roxas shouldn't have debated about himself getting a job. Axel shouldn't have allowed Roxas to find a job. Roxas shouldn't have ask Axel about his decision and Axel shouldn't have picked that decision. Of course, Roxas could never blame Axel.

Roxas might have Riku to give him happiness...but all he wanted was Axel and Axel only. Riku was the one that had separated them but Roxas didn't hate him for that. Riku was kind and he was helping Axel. After several years of living with Riku, Riku didn't force Roxas to have sex. Roxas felt uneasy for that and at last, they had sex. If Axel was put into that point of view, he would be able to see easily that Riku was playing the guilt tactic on Roxas, being the good guy and all. Roxas was too kind and easy to trick.

After all that, Roxas had tried to reach and make contact with Axel but the blond couldn't find any trace of the redhead. The house had been sold, Axel's phone number was unreachable, and Axel even changed his workplace. Roxas just couldn't find Axel and he was getting desperate while trying so hard so that Riku didn't notice. Riku, like Axel, also forbade Roxas to find a job. Roxas didn't really have the freedom to go out.


"Axel... your father..." Roxas' voice was shaky.

"That jerk. I thought he had vanished from my life for good..." Axel cursed.

"I...I can help, Axel..."

"You don't have that much money. Don't be stupid, Rox."

"I'm not... I can really help... All I need is ask Riku to..."

"Don't!" the redhead snapped causing Roxas to jump. "Don't ask any help from him. I know exactly what he's playing Rox. You can't get into his trap."

"Riku is very kind. He's not playing anything," the blond debated uncertainly.

"Don't be fooled by him."

"But, Axel...your father will be killed if I don't..."

"Let him die then. I don't care," Axel walked away, having no intention of continuing the conversation further.

"Axel..." Roxas called out but the redhead never turned back to regard him.

Axel's father was a gambler and a drunkard...the worst kind of person in the world. Axel hated his father so much. When he was small, his father used to abuse him. Luckily, Axel was able to run away from the shadow of his father and earn money for himself. Living below a bridge at first, he afforded enough money to feed himself and rent a room and even go into college. That was when he met Demyx and Zexion who helped him with his economic problem. Zexion's father was filthy rich while Demyx might not be rich but he could earn a lot of money by selling his voice. And that was also when Demyx introduced Axel to Roxas. Things didn't start out well then because Roxas was in denial while Axel was being extremely aggressive to win the blond's heart.

Axel had no idea why he was being so spirited in getting Roxas to love him. He did everything he could with Demyx and Zexion's help. Roxas soon broke down with his defense and denial that he's straight and admitted that he loved Axel too. The blond even left his family in order to live with Axel. They didn't approve of Roxas and Axel's relationship. That was the one decision that Roxas never regretted he had made. He earned happiness in return even though he was shunned away by his family. The blond soon learned about Axel's past and came to accept everything about Axel. Axel, of course, was still in guilt of being the reason Roxas ran away from his family.

And, came the day when Axel's father was in a huge debt. Someone called Axel someday and said that if they didn't bring the huge amount of money to him, he would kill his father. Even though Axel had forbid him, Roxas decided to loan money from Riku. Riku lend the money happily without saying anything and Axel's father was saved.

After that, came the problem... Roxas and Axel realized from the start that they could never be able to repay their debt to Riku. Axel was practically angry because Roxas had gone to loan the money without Axel's permission. He became cold towards Roxas while Riku was very kind to Roxas. Roxas felt like he must do something to repay Riku somehow. He made the biggest mistake in his life...that was to ask Axel whether or not he still loved him when Riku had offered Roxas to come and stay with him, leaving Axel behind. Roxas told everything to Axel. After a long quarrel, it came to Axel saying that he never loved Axel and everything started to break apart. Roxas left Axel even though he didn't want to. He wanted Axel to tell him to stay but those words never came from Axel's mouth. Axel didn't even say anything when he was leaving.


"Yes? Roxas speaking."

"Hi? Roxas!"

Roxas tilted his head to the side, holding his cell phone close. "Who's this?" he asked uncertainly, feeling the voice rather familiar.

"You couldn't have forgotten me, Rox! This is Demyx!"

Roxas grinned instantaneously and laughed lightly. "Demyx! Where are you?"

"I'm here, right in front of your house. Did you and Axel move?"

Roxas paused for a bit and cleared his throat. "Yeah."

"That's great," he sighed, disappointed. "You guys should at least told me and even Axel's lying to me."

"Axel? You met him?" There was an apparent tone of worry in Roxas' voice.

"Yeah, a couple of days ago."

"A couple of days ago?!" Roxas shouted. "Where?! Tell me!"


"Zexion?" Roxas asked, calming down a little, hearing the very familiar voice.

"Yes, this is Zexion. Tell me what happened."

"...Nothing...there's nothing," the blond clearly didn't want to tell.

"We can't help you if we don't know what's going on, Roxas," Zexion said sternly.

Roxas hesitated and released a huge sigh. "We should meet..."


The hours went by with Roxas telling all that had happened to Demyx and Zexion. The two were listening closely. Even Demyx who had a short attention span to almost everything listened intently. Roxas felt a huge load of burden got off of him after he had told everything to his two friends. "I haven't met Axel since," Roxas concluded his story, eyes glued to the cold ceramic floor of a cafe near his and Riku's house.

"No wonder Axel looked very strange that day," Demyx mumbled. Roxas eyed Demyx, hoping that he would give him any clue on where to find Axel. "I don't know where Axel is. He didn't say anything to me," Demyx shook his head. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," Roxas smiled. "I—was to blame… If…"

"It's no use blaming anybody, Roxas," Zexion cut off, not wanting Roxas to be thrown into guilt.

"I—I don't know what I'm doing… Even if I meet him…nothing will change, right?" Roxas muttered with a grim tone.

Demyx smiled softly. "You want to meet him right?" Roxas nodded hesitantly, not making eye contact with Demyx. "Then, there's no need for a reason. Even if nothing's changed, what matters is that you want to meet him."

"I'm pretty curious about this Riku," Zexion said with his emotionless tone.

"He's very kind. You guys should meet him someday," Roxas smiled.

"Sure," Demyx grinned.

"Axel…" Roxas muttered with his eyes glued to the floor. He played with his fingers and sighed softly.

Demyx and Zexion didn't say anything. They looked at Roxas. "You'll meet him," Zexion smiled.

"Yeah, Zexion's right. Cheer up, Rox."

Roxas drew in a deep breath and smiled. "Yeah. Thanks."


Days later after the meeting with Demyx and Zexion, Roxas went to the market to buy groceries. Riku was accompanying him this time. The silver head had taken a day off that day to be with Roxas. When they were debating about what's for dinner tomorrow, Roxas bumped into Sora, his cousin. "Hey, Sora!!" Roxas shouted when he saw the very familiar brunet. He ran over to the brunet's side, leaving Riku behind.

"Roxas, what are you doing here?" Sora replied excitedly, grinning and hugging his blond cousin.

"I'm here to buy groceries. What about you? Are you alone?"

"Yes, I am," Sora smiled but his face turned grim when he saw Riku. "That's…"

Roxas turned and waved Riku over. Riku seemed reluctant but he approached Roxas anyway. "This is Riku, So. I've been living with him these past few years."

"Nice to meet you… Riku." Sora said, looking unhappy.

"Nice to meet you too," Riku smiled.

"You're living with him? I thought you were with Axel."

"…That's a long story. Anyway, I'm very glad that I can meet you here. I've been missing you a lot and you changed your phone number, didn't you?"

"Well, yeah," Sora grinned sheepishly.

"You should have told me that," Roxas pouted.

"Oh, I didn't tell you? Sorry, I've been busy lately."

"Let's go, Roxas. We'll miss the late bus," Riku held Roxas' hand.

"Oh yeah. Call me, Sora. Okay?"

"Sure," Sora grinned.

Roxas and Riku walked away. Sora merely watched as the silver haired dragged his cousin away. He had a bad feeling about all this and he didn't like it.


It was not until later that Sora decided to call Riku. Riku didn't change his phone number at all. His breath hitched when Riku answered the phone and the very familiar voice rang through his ears. "Hello? Riku's speaking."

"Riku…" Sora muttered.

"Sora, is that you?"

"Riku, I'll try to make this short. What are you doing with Roxas?"

"We're going out. I love him."

"You're lying. You know that he's my cousin. What are you up to, Riku?"

"You know what I'm up to. I just want to get back to those times when we were together."

"You were the one who ruined all of it, Riku. You can't force me to accept you again," Sora snapped.

"I didn't know what I was doing that time. I've explained it a lot of times, Sora. Why won't you listen?"

"You didn't know? You honestly didn't know?!" Sora almost shouted. "You jerk! What explanation did you gave me? You didn't know what you were doing, so you cheated behind me? That's it?"


"And now you're with Roxas! Isn't Roxas with Axel? Don't tell me that you have something to do with that."

"I didn't. They're the ones who make things complicated."

"You didn't? I know you too well, Riku. You will do anything in order to obtain something you like."

"I may love Roxas but I love you even more, Sora." Riku reasoned.

"Lay your hands off Roxas."

"Not until you forgive me."

"I will give you my forgiveness in your dream."

And the phone call ended abruptly. Tears were streaming down from the brunet's face. He hated him. He hated him so much—and it hurt.


I never thought that I'd lose him for a second time…

When Axel was walking back from work, he saw Roxas and immediately went to hide, hoping that the blond didn't see him. Why? Why had he meet him here of all places? He released a huge sigh when the blond was out of sight and he began his walk home again. However, this time he bumped into someone—the blond whom he had been hiding from.

"Axel?" cerulean eyes went wider than usual. He couldn't believe that he was seeing that red again.

"I—Roxas…" Axel stepped back uneasily, trying to avoid even the merest contact with the blond. He thought he would go insane even if he was only touching the blond.

There was an awkward silence between them and Roxas decided to break the ice. "How have you been doing?"

"Look… Roxas, I have to go. There's an urgent—business I have to attend to."

"Wait, Axel!" Roxas chased after Axel. Axel ignored the chasing blond and kept walking away, passing the crossing red light. When Roxas was about to pass, a car suddenly drove by in high speed, hitting Roxas. When Axel heard the loud bump from behind him, he immediately turned only to see Roxas lying on the road, stained with blood. It was as if everything went slow motion. The crowds soon formed.

And for the second time... I never thought it would be forever...

Axel quickly ran back as soon as he snapped back into reality. "Roxas!" he shouted, feeling his heart stopped. He knelt down beside the blond. They finally met and now Roxas was pooled in blood on the cold road. Axel quickly reached out his cell phone to make a phone call to the police but he was stopped by Roxas' hand grabbing him weakly.

"I'm glad I--get to hear you call my name again," Roxas smiled weakly. "I'm glad, Axel."

"What are you saying? I have to..."

"No, this is meant to happen. I have a bad feeling all along..." Roxas coughed. While the crowds were watching several of them tried to make the phone call to the police. The car that hit Roxas had sped away earlier, having no to stop and save the blond at all. The traffic jammed in that road and a stranger driving a car offered help to drive Roxas to the hospital but Roxas shook his head.

"Roxas..." Axel frowned.

"I'm not going to live much longer anyway...You know that, right, Axel?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I always tell you about my dream, right?"

"No, you can't die! There's still so much we have to talk about." Axel got closer and scooped Roxas up to his lap.

Roxas was becoming paler as the time passed. He slowly reach out and cupped Axel's cheek. "Thank you...Axe..." and the blond's hand dropped; his eyes closed, sleeping peacefully in the red that painted his body crimson.

Axel could feel his tears welled up but he refused to let it out. A man never cries, right, Axel? Roxas used to tell him cheerfully. After all that...after so long of being separated and finally met again--Roxas left him. Roxas left him forever. Axel finally got to hear his blond's voice but he didn't wish for it to be the last time. He didn't wish for any of that to happen. He didn't want to remember. He wanted someone to kill his memories. Or rather...he would appreciate it if someone would do him a favor and simply kill him.

And now, all he got was the blond, lying limped on his lap. He promised so many things to himself. Most of them he failed to fulfill but this one was the one that would haunt him for the rest of his life and he didn't think he would want to live on long enough for it to haunt him.


Rushed? I think so. Doesn't make sense? Plot holes? Crappy ending? eheh... I...have no idea what I was doing (I'm suffering from severe stress). So yeah, if people don't like this, I'd delete this story. Thank you!