The discussion this story is based on and inspired by, actually happened today in my AP World History class. It was, hands down, the funniest thing that has ever happened to me in school.
I love reviews, so even if you think this is the worst thing you've ever read, would you please let me know?
Yaoi (Slash) and pervertedness warning!
I've put their names in Japanese style: family (last) name first, then given (first) name.
Dobe: Dead last/Loser
-sensei: An honorific. It means "teacher".
If I missed anything, please let me know!
Uzumaki Naruto stopped dead at the door. He really didn't want to go to AP World History class. They were doing what the teacher called an "inside-outside seminar" and he really hated those.
What happened during these seminars was half the class sat in a circle. Then the other half sat in another circle surrounding the first circle. The people in the inner circle would ask various "non-factual" questions they had and the rest would chime in with their opinions while the other half took notes on what was being said. Then, half way through the period, the circles would switch and the note-takers would become the discussers.
Naruto sighed. He really hated these discussions. They always made him feel like an idiot. Maybe I'll skip, he thought wistfully to himself. He jumped when he felt a pair of strong arms wrap around him.
"C'mon, Dobe, you have to go in."
"But Sasuke," he whined, "I really don't want to! It's only worth four points, since our class is so big. It's not like it will hurt my grade, like, at all." He heard Uchiha Sasuke sigh in his ear.
"But I like staring at you from across the circle," Sasuke whispered into Naruto's ear, his voice low and husky.
Naruto shivered. "Fine, Teme. But you owe me one."
"Anything," Sasuke whispered.
Naruto opened the door to the classroom, and Sasuke detached himself from his waist. Naruto hunted around the room for the desk with his name card. He plopped himself into the seat, and let his backpack fall with a clunk to the floor. He would be starting in the outer circle. As he looked, up, he saw Sasuke smirking at him. They weren't directly across from each other, but it was close enough. He grinned once at Sasuke then fished his seminar stuff from his bag as the bell rang, and the teacher (Seibert-sensei) called a start to the discussion.
It was just as boring as the last seminar they had had. And worse, this one was about women in patriarchal societies, a subject that didn't interest him one bit. Women had rights now, why worry about what had happened thousands of years ago. Naruto scribbled down paraphrased versions of the questions, being asked, and even more paraphrased versions of the points made by the others in the discussion. I should have skipped, he groaned mentally. Finally the first round came to a close and he had to pick up all of his stuff and move forward to one of the inner desks. He settled into the seat, and looked up to see Sasuke staring right back at him, grinning widely. Of course. Because it's not hard enough to concentrate on these stupid things in the first place, he thought angrily. He slumped grumpily, as his friend, Haruno Sakura slid into the seat behind him.
Then Seibert-sensei told them to start once again, and, to his left, Rock Lee's hand shot up excitedly. Lee always had something to contribute to discussions. Naruto actually had a question he wanted to ask, but he'd chime in later. He let the discussion take off, and relaxed back in the seat, glad he didn't have to take notes, and space out as long as he looked like he was paying attention. Every time he stole a glance at Sasuke he found the bastard grinning at him again and he had to look away, feeling annoyed, but also little embarrassed and flattered. It was an odd combination of feelings. He also tried his best to follow the thread of the seminar, but he kept loosing it. Eventually he gave up, and decided to ask his question later, when there wasn't so much to talk about. However, Hyuuga Neji had the same question (Do you think it would have been possible for the women to ever take control?) so he felt stupid and annoyed once again. So he decided to chime in now.
"Well," said a boy who Naruto didn't know the name of, "I think that even if the women did have power once, it would switch back to a patriarchal society because I don't think that men would be as accepting of a lower status."
Naruto frowned and shot his hand up.
"Yes?" asked Seibert-sensei, looking his way. "I'm sorry, but you're name is…?"
"Naruto," he said quickly.
"Ah, yes, sorry."
Naruto shook his head, "It's fine. Anyway, I think that, like what he said about men not just taking it, I wonder if maybe we only think that way today because we're used to the men being in power and being on top." Naruto gave a small smile when he finished; he knew what his last line implied. He glanced across the room at Sasuke to see if he had understood the joke.
He had, he had a small smile on his face, and a suggestive glint in his eye. He gave Naruto a quick wink, to which Naruto blushed. But just a tiny bit.
On the other side of Lee, a boy named Choji gave a chuckle of laughter. Naruto knew that other students were going to get it.
And then Lee's hand went up again and Seibert-sensei nodded in his direction.
"Well, if that's true, then what would really have happened if women were on top? I mean if women were on top then maybe…"
Naruto couldn't listed to Lee speak any more. He was going to burst out into laughter if he heard Lee talk about women being on top again. He chanced a glance across the room. He knew Sasuke well, and that's why he could see the miniscule shaking of shoulders that signified, despite his cool expression, that Sasuke was laughing. He could even hear Sakura giggling behind him. Next to Sasuke was Hyuuga Hinata (Neji's cousin, and a very shy girl) was red in the face, shaking with laughter. Behind her was Inuzuka Kiba, and his face was an even brighter red than Hinata's. He was leaning back in his chair, overcome by laughter that shook his whole body.
"Why is everybody laughing at me?" asked Lee, innocently.
"It's because you talked about women being on top," said Seibert-sensei, seriously.
This was the breaking point for the class, everyone burst out into laughter.
"Okay, now guys, you need to settle down," said Seibert-sensei.
Everyone tried their best to sober up.
Lee continued on.
Naruto was determinedly staring a Lee, willing himself not to laugh. It was hard, but he thought he had gotten himself under control. Or at least he thought he had, as soon as that thought crossed his mind however, he heard Sakura start giggling again behind him. This completely shattered his self-control and he started to laugh little laughs again. Throughout the class were scattered giggles and Lee stopped talking again.
"Guys, please, be mature."
"Just ignore them," Seibert-sensei counseled.
Lee nodded and continued. Naruto looked up at the ceiling and took in deep breaths through his nose. Finally, he had overly calmed himself down, and he thought it safe to rejoin the conversation. But, the bell rang soon after and everyone quickly left for lunch. Naruto followed Sasuke out. Once they were free of the classroom he burst out into laughter again. "'Because women are on top'," he quoted, laughing hysterically.
Even Sasuke's face broke out in a smile and he actually gave an audible laugh.
Later that night, Sasuke was pulling Naruto into the bedroom they shared by the waist, nibbling on his ear.
"Mmmmm," Naruto moaned.
"Who's gonna top tonight?" Sasuke husked in his ear.
"Eh?" Naruto asked confused. Usually Sasuke would fight for the top position.
"I owe you one for going to class today. You get to pick."
"That's not much of a favor, Teme."
"Yes, but, class was too much fun for anything much better."
Naruto could feel Sasuke's smirk against his skin.
"Yeah…" He smiled just remembering it. He probably would have broken out in laughter again if he weren't so preoccupied with the way his body was responding to a certain someone being pressed up against him. "You can top tonight," he said, as he and Sasuke stumbled their way down the hallway.
"Why don't you want to top? Do you just love the way I make you feel?" Sasuke smirked again.
"No," Naruto panted. "Because women are on top."