Love Me Like You Mean It

Little Falcon: Hey guys! I have recently been addicted to -man and I have been dying to write a fanfiction about it (Maybe that's also the reason why I can't seem to update my other stories. Wah my readers will kill me if they found out! X.x) oh well… here comes the pain. Anyways, read and review please. This is my first -man story… if the reviews are great maybe I'll write a longer one.

Standard Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I wish I did though but the idea (plot) was all mine.

For as long as he could remember, he was watching people wage war against each other for the deepest and craziest reasons. His childhood was unconsciously stolen as his innocent eyes were stained with blood of royalties and commoners alike. With the old man that took him, known as Bookman, at his side, they silently watched as the greatest countries and the poorest villages shared the same fate- to be nothing but worthless ashes on the blood soaked earth as a result of an ancient conflict.

"Listen well Lavi, you are a Bookman now. Thus, you are only to observe but NEVER interfere," the old man's words were his law and for years that came, he did as he was told until the day the old man brought him to the Dark Order. "We're going to be exorcists," the young boy of eighteen stared at the old man questioningly.

In truth, this young man had already stated his disapproval of the old man's decision saying "Fight? I thought we're only meant to observe? Why now?" his words slowly disappeared in his throat when his sole seeing eye wandered to the young lady that was battered and crying on the chapel- her long black hair in pigtails as her entire body was covered in dressed wound and yet she still found the energy to mourn over her fallen comrade.

Ever since that day, he fought with her side by side and with each step he did not realize that he almost lost sight of his original goal- to merely observe. Reality had a cruel way of testing his determination. Lavi was no fool… he was a Bookman afterall… his senses honed almost to perfection. He watched at how Lenalee became close to the new grey-haired exorcist and finally falling in love with him.

Each day became unbearable for him, seeing her in the arms of someone else was like triggering an explosion for him only inside out. "I am only to observe," each day he chanted that line to keep him going and in some ways, to justify the pain.

Lavi thought the test was finally over and that... his determination won over his heart. But when his jade eye reflected Lenalee's broken spirit as she watched Timcanpy's recording of Allen's death, his determination shattered as his arms wound around her form and held her close. Right then and there, the name Bookman was forgotten.

"Don't you dare do that again! I love you for crying out loud!" his voice shook as his tears unconsciously streamed from his eyes. Lenalee with her hair now burned short and her entire body numb, also began to cry. "Lavi…" with the last ounce of her strength she brushed away his tears with her able hand and tried to smile. Everyone on deck wasn't surprised when they say the two inched closer then finally made their lips meet.

Her lips were sweet and warm… but not as warm as I expected them to be… her embraces were tight… but not as tight as I expected them to be. Because I knew if she was hugging 'him', her kisses were so warm it almost makes him melt and her hugs were so tight as if she did not want to let go. I thought that with time she would come to give those privileges to me as well? I would fight well if I was competing against another person… but what can I do if I am competing with her memories… of him?

"I'm using you… and it's killing me," her sad eyes reflected my emotionless face. Tears trickled down her face as she continued to stare at me. I knew that from the very beginning yet why did it seem like the wound she has given me was so fresh and deep.

"I knew that… from the very beginning Lenalee. After all, I never asked you to love me back… just being allowing me to love you is more than enough," my calloused hand shook as I wiped the tears from her eyes and held her as tight as I could making sure she wouldn't disappear.

His stolen glances always make me smile. The way he would avert his eyes as I caught him staring at me, his cheeks would turn into that shade of red I have come to love.

His words always make me feel at ease. No matter what happens, he always found the right words to say that would make my heart race and make my eyes see only him.

His touch always makes me feel safe. With him at my side, my nightmares vanished and my dreams began.

"Why are you still here with me?" his arms wound around my waist as his lips descended on mine.

"Until the day you've come to hate me, I won't leave your side," he whispered gently soon after he left me breathless.

I reached for his hands and enclosed them in mine. Tears trickled down my cheeks but I did not care for my eyes were seeing only him. "Is it too late if I said I love you too?" my vision cleared as I saw his brightest smile that made my knees go weak.

This time her kisses were nowhere near what I had imagined… they were so much more…

Little Falcon: This is just a drabble wahahahaha but please and review